Greya's POV...

Today my friend's and I made lemonade. With the help of Cohen's parents, I was granted guardianship of Chase; one less obstacle to tackle. I seem to have gained three more close friends who regularly want to be around me and support me. And, I felt a shift between Becker and I...a good shift.

We should probably talk about what we feel for each other, get it out in the open so we can move on to the next step. I've never been in a relationship before, I've never even been on a date or kissed a guy. This is all new and exciting to me, yet scary at the same time. Becker has a lot of unresolved issues and PTSD from all the physical abuse he's endured over the years. He's petrified of anyone touching him, and who can blame him when he's only ever associated it with hurt. I care about him, a lot. I also want to protect him from ever being hurt again. I have plenty of baggage too, I'm practically a mother at 18 to a special needs child. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do from here. Slowly and carefully is the only way to conquer the next step.

Ari let me in on a little secret of hers today as well, which also makes me happy. Not that Declan was keeping it a secret the way he slapped her butt when he ran by her in my yard today. A huge grin plastered to both of their faces. "Umm, when did this happen?" I wave my finger between the two of them. "Last weekend when you were shacking up here with Becker, Declan asked me on a date. So, we went to the movies and then out to breakfast the next morning. Oh, and he kissed me!" She beams.

"Yes! About time!" I hug her.

"What about you and stormy over there? I know you like him so what are you waiting for?"

I feel myself blush when I look over at him playing ball with Chase. "I do like him," I admit to her.

"He's been in love with you for years Grey, it's about time you two do something about it," she chuckles.

I'd like to argue with her but as I think about it and all of the ways he's tried to interact with me, I know she's right. Becker does care about me. His ways of showing it are a little unconventional, but it's probably the only way he knows how, considering everything he's been through.

"Well? What are you going to do about it?" She presses me further.

"Becker is a complicated person," is all I say.

"Well, no shit! We all see that. But if anyone knows how to handle complicated, it's you Greya."

"Hmm, can't argue with that," I chuckle.

The next thing I know, Becker is sitting next to me and indirectly asking me to confirm my feelings about him. Like I said, everything about him and me screams complicated. I can't deny the feelings I have for him though, so I answer his question with the type of gesture he fears. If we are going to work, he needs to know my hand on his thigh is a form of affection, not destruction.

As soon as he moves his hand over mine and interlocks our fingers together, he confirms that its time for both of us to try. Complicated or not, I know he needs me and deep down inside, I think I need him too.

Hours later I hear a soft knock at my front door. I peek through the window and see Becker standing on my front steps, his hands in his pockets and his eyes meeting the ground as he waits for me to answer.

I open the door smiling, "Hey, come on in," gesturing towards the living room so we can sit on the couch.

He looks around, I assume he's wondering about Chase. "He's in bed, sound asleep," I tell him.

We both awkwardly take a seat next to each other on the sofa. His dark hair is damp and untamed, his eyes clear and darker than the deep blue sea. He smells good too, he must've taken a shower just before coming over. I wonder if he realizes how attractive he really is.

He reaches for my hand and I allow him to hold it. The butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter around like crazy. My body wants to feel him wrapped around me, but I know he needs to be the one to control how this physical part will grow.

"We need to talk about this," I look at our entwined hands. "Us," I elaborate.

"I've never done this before...done anything with a guy actually," I shyly confess. He looks confused for a moment and I wait for him to tease me about it.

Instead, his response surprises me. "I've never done this before either."

Now I'm taken aback because it's hard to imagine this gorgeous guy without someone.

"I've attempted the relationship thing with a few girls. I've never succeeded with any of them, and I've never let any of them get close to yme. It was me doing the minimal amount of contact, me controlling the situation. None of them meant anything to me. But you...you mean everything and I'm trying not to mess up or scare you away. It's hard as fuck, but I want to let you in."

I squeeze his hand, showing him I appreciate his honesty.

"I want to try and kiss you, Greya."

"I want you to kiss me too, Beck."

His hand slowly raises so that his fingers reach the back of my neck, his thumb gently stoking my cheek and he leans in close to my face. His lips barely brush across mine, waiting for my approval so I lean in too. I didn't know what to expect, not knowing what qualifies as a great first kiss. But what I feel when his perfect lips connect with mine is pure bliss.

I can feel him smile just before he slips his tongue to meet mine. I invite our tongues to dance together and I savor every second of it. His lips are warm and he tastes like peppermint gum. My insides flipping out of control and I want nothing more than to grab him and pull his body against mine. I don't touch him though because I'll ruin this moment probably.

My self control can only hold on for so long. So far, I've let him take charge physically, but the way my body is reacting to his kiss, I need to know I can put my hands on him too. I need to test the waters in hopes that we're both ready to swim.

The urge to embrace him overpowers any sensibility I have and without further hesitation, I enfold him in my arms and stroke his back with my finger tips.

He instantly freezes and I do too. My hands still on his back waiting for him to accept me. Instead, he starts shaking in my arms, his breathing heavy until he finally backs away from me.

"Shit!" He curses to himself, pacing back and forth in front of the couch, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands. "Fuck!... I'm sorry... I can't," He continues pacing and cussing to himself. "It's not you, it's me," he addresses me with such sad eyes.

He looks like he's about to have a panic attack. "Becker, stop!" I say sternly.

He does, and then slowly turns around to face me. I carefully take a few steps closer to him. His troubled eyes watching my every move.

"Close your eyes," I say softly.

My request makes him uneasy, I need to fix that. "Becker, do you trust me?"

"Yes," he whispers.

I step closer, "Please close your eyes, and remember to breathe."

He closes his eyes, his limbs trembling as he tries to control his breathing.

"I want you to feel me Becker, feel me and know that I would never hurt you."

His breaths are rapid but at least he's breathing. I take my time placing my palm gently against the side of his face and watch him suck in more air.

"Breathe," I remind him. "What does my hand feel like?"

He presses his cheek into my hand and sighs. "Warm, you feel warm," he says.

"What else do you feel?"

"I... I don't know how to describe it," there's a hitch in his voice.

I move my other hand up to his other cheek so that I have his face in both my hands and he allows my thumbs to lightly caress his skin.

"I've got you," I softly say.

He drops the weight of his head into my hands and a lone tear escapes from his eye. "Safe," he whispers.

I wipe away his tear with my fingers and we stand like this for a few minutes.

When he opens his eyes to look at me, all I see are disheartened blues. Makes me want to cry too.

"You deserve someone better than me Grey, someone who's not weak. You need someone who know's what love is. I want you, all of you. I want your arms around me... God do I want that! I'm a mess, Greya."

"You're right. You're complex, your life is complicated," I tell him straight up.

His eyes advert to the floor and he starts to turn away from me.

"Hey," I grab his hand and lace my fingers with his. He stares at our connection, looking like the waves have come crashing down on him.

"My life is complicated too. I have no parents and I'm solely responsible for raising a child with a disability." I squeeze his hand. "And you're wrong about being weak, you are the strongest person I know. You've been dealt a shitty hand, so have I. But you never give up and that's what makes you strong.  You want to talk about what love is... you have more love than you know. The way you sacrifice yourself to protect your brother, that's love. The way you look out for your friends, that's love. If anyone knows how to love, it's you. You need to believe that you are deserving of that love too."

"I don't know how," he murmurs.

"Let me show you. I want to be with you Becker, if you'll let me," I smile.

"Promise me you won't run. I know I'm damaged and I'll try to fix it, but please don't run," he pleads.

"We'll take it day by day, I'm not going anywhere," I promise him.