Becker's POV...

Safety, comfort; both concepts so foreign to me yet I'm sure that's what I felt when Greya wrapped her arms loosely around my back. She could feel me holding my breath, my heart racing from fear and uncertainty. She was hesitant at first, anticipating how I might react to her touch, but she hugged me back anyway. I wanted to wipe the worry off her face so I embraced her, knowing my fucked up brain wouldn't know how to handle what came next. This isn't the first time she's hugged me. After my embarrassing reactions to the last few, I thought she'd never attampt to touch me again. She didn't care about the consequences because she knew what I really needed...Her, and her sweet scent of apple pie. I'm getting better at accepting her touch.

Having her worry about me and take care of me the way she did this past weekend felt surreal. The only other person who cared for me like that was my mother, and she left us alone to fend off a monster. How does someone you trust say they love you and then leave you when you need them most. The one person who is supposed to protect me and be here for me up and left one morning without a second thought. She held my face and said the three words that are supposed to mean something, then walked out the door and never came back. Things were tough at home and she knew our father would turn on me next but she bolted anyway. Just like Greya will do when she learns the truth; I've come to believe I don't deserve to be loved.

When Alec and I returned home we found the house a mess. Empty bottles of alcohol lay across the couch, another bottle shattered all over the tile floor. Alec gave me that look, telling me we should run, but running isn't going to solve anything.

The house was too quiet. Jack was either passed out or not here. We tiptoed around, looking in every room hoping not to find him. Alec let out a huge sigh of relief when the coast was clear, then he made his way to his room and shut the door. I spent the next few hours cleaning up the remnants of the drunken hurricane that ravished our home.

Everything was just about clean except for the dining room which had piles of papers scattered across the oak table. I would've left Jack's work alone, except a particular piece of paper with my name on it caught my eye. Curiosity pulled me for a closer examination. The top of the page read,  "California Certificate of Adoption." What the fuck is this? I kept reading.

'Adoptee, Becker Jonas Reeves is the legal adoptive child of Jack Allen Reeves', the date claiming I'm two years old at the time of adoption.

I frantically shuffle through the other papers on the table and find my birth certificate. My mother's name is on it as the only parent, no father. Why isn't there a father on my birth certificate? Jack isn't my biological father? Wait, what about Alec? I rummage through more papers until I find his birth certificate too. Mom and Jack's names are listed as his parents. Fuck!

I grab the adoption certificate and shove it into my pocket, then retreat to the only room in this house that can bring me peace. I sit down on the velvet bench wondering why my mother left me with an abusive man, he's not even my father, does she even know who my real father is? My fingers glide along the smooth flat keys. Anger, confusion, loneliness all wrapped up into emotional chord progressions. I pour every ounce of myself into the melody my fingers create. I would almost call it bittersweet. The talent I have in playing music came from the one person who gave up on our family, gave up on me.

It's completely dark when I open my eyes, realizing I must've dosed off at the piano. If Jack finds me in here, he will do more than destroy me. I've always wondered why he's left this room alone. Maybe he thinks his wife will come home someday. If it wasn't for him beating the shit out of me, I'd almost feel sorry for him. Did he adopt me willingly or have I always been the inconvenient piece of trash he treats me like? Did my mother leave because of me or because of Jack?

"Becker, I made pizza if you're hungry," Alec tentatively says while standing in the doorway.

I pick up my phone and see that it's already 10:00pm. "Yeah, sure, I'm hungry, thanks," I tell him.

Making sure the door is closed behind me, I make my way to the kitchen. Still no sign of Jack. Hopefully he won't return for a few days. As much as I want to confront him about these adoption papers, Alec and I need a few more days without him. I have my last soccer game before playoffs and my ribs are not healed enough for another round in the ring with Jack.

My phone chimes while I'm eating. One missed call and a text from Greya and a text from Cohen.

Greya: Hey Beck, just wondering how you're feeling? See you in class tomorrow x

A smile tugs at my lips. Her subtle way of making sure I'm okay. I'm far from okay. I want to hold her, I want her to hold me. I feel comfortable around her, knowing she wouldn't hurt me. If only my brain would cooperate with my body, we could possibly have a relationship one day. It's all wishful thinking, I'm not going to fool myself. She'll eventually realize I'm not worth caring about. For now, I'll take what I can get.

Me: Hey Love, feeling much better thanks to you. See you tomorrow x

Three dots appear on my screen, letting me know she's typing. I'm curious and hopeful about what she'll text next, but the dots disappear, and no words are written. What I wish for is never meant to be part of my reality.

The only consolation I have in this screwed up life I live in is knowing that Alec is safe. Jack would never lay a finger on his real son as long as my bastard self is around.