Becker's POV...

Never judge a book by its cover.

It's a good thing no one actually takes that into consideration because once they push past the flawless cover and begin reading my story, they'll realize it's a terrible fucking book.

My life is a mess, although no one would ever guess. I've been gifted with a high IQ, athletic ability, and an attractive physique; the perfect trio one would imagine and I'm going to use one of these gifts to get as far away from this hell hole as I can.

Money isn't an issue as long as I live under this roof, also having a famous last name helps too. And those are the things people notice about me, what they associate me with. That's fine with me too, as long as I live up to this facade, no one will bother to look past the cover or open the book. No one will know that I'm cursed.

It takes all my strength to get through each day without coming undone. Pretending everything is fine is exhausting and by the end of the week, I find myself struggling to carry on. My brother Alec is the only reason I fight to survive, so he can survive. Him and Greya Matthews, the only girl who's ever tried to see past this charade. Her and I have an odd friendship, if I can even call it that. That's my fault though. I've been taught that love isn't real and human affection brings pain and suffering. Believing that is screwed up, I know. I also made a vow to never ruin Greya Matthews with the horrors of my life, and as hard as it's been for me all these years, I'm sticking with my vow.

Greya is so sweet and pure, and every day she makes me want to be a better person. I see in her, everything I can't be. And as much as I want her in my life, I shouldn't be in hers, I'll only ruin everything that's good about her. So, I keep her at arm's length, close enough that she makes me believe that life isn't so bad, yet far enough away that I can't destroy her.

The reality is, that I'm scared, all the time. I'm afraid of letting anyone close to me or even touch me...That insanity is a result of my abusive alcoholic father; I don't need a therapist to tell me that. I'm afraid I won't always be able to protect my brother from him. And I'm afraid that I'll never know what love is because the one person who was supposed to love us, left  Alec and I to fend off this monster on our own.

"Becker, you up?" I hear Alec say as he knocks on my bedroom door.

"Yeah, I'm up." I'm always up, I haven't slept since the night our mother left, over five years ago.

"Okay, I'll wait for you in the car."

"Wait, Alec, is Jack here?" Usually I hear him stumbling around, but it's been quiet all morning.

"I don't know. His door's shut and I haven't heard him, so hurry up and get to the car Beck." He's nervous for me. I wish he didn't have to worry.

I'm already dressed and ready, so I quietly make my way down stairs. Silence is usually a good sign and I grab my soccer bag and backpack from the kitchen and turn towards the foyer way, thinking I'm in the clear until I'm grabbed by the throat and pinned up against the wall.

Where the hell did he come from? The alcohol is oozing from his pores, he can barely keep his grip around my throat with his sweaty fingers and when he realizes I'm slipping from him, he jabs his fist into my side. All the air leaves my lungs and I close my eyes waiting for it to be over. Jack Reeves was a pro linebacker, hence the famous last name. He's got six inches and over a hundred pounds on me, making it hard to fight back. I try, but after he's got the surprise advantage, there's not much I can do to defend myself.

"Because of you, everything's broken. Because of you, I need to spend my time fixing this mess and finding your mother." I want to vomit from the stench coming from his mouth. I don't even know what he's talking about half the time. All I know is he blames me for his wife leaving him...and us.

He finally stumbles backwards, leaving me to fall to the floor. I quickly collect myself and my bags and rush to the door.

"I'll be gone until Monday, and you both better be here when I return," I hear him slur just before slamming the door behind me. Finding my mother is his obsession; that and drinking. Neither ever result in a positive outcome, especially for me.

After escaping through the front door with half my dignity and surprisingly only one hateful strike to the gut, I jump into my car and peel out of the driveway. Alec knows something happened, yet he doesn't confront me about it. This kid knows I'd never let Jack lay a hand on him even if it means I become the punching bag.

We pull up in front of my friend Declan's house. "Hey Bruh! What's up?" He hops into the back. I instinctively clutch at my stomach and I'm thankful I didn't eat anything yet. At least Jack left my face unscathed this time.

"What's wrong," Declan's concerned.

"Nothing, I haven't eaten breakfast yet," I try and hide my discomfort.

I know Declan doesn't believe me. He knows my story and he knows if I really needed help, I'd ask him. Maybe.  I don't know if asking for help would make things worse and I don't want to take the chance.

"Are you good to play tonight?" He approaches me in a different angle.

"Yeah, of course. Anyway, Jack's going away for a few days so...," he doesn't allow me to finish before he's on his phone sending out a group text.

I look in the rear mirror at him. "Party at your place tonight."

"No!" I deadpan.

"Too late. I already sent out the invites!"

"You asshole."

"Where are we going? I thought we're going to school," he asks confused.

"We are, I'm picking up Cohen on the way, his sister has the car today."

We get to Cohen's enormous white house, and I honk the horn. Both of his parents are lawyers and they've helped us get out of trouble more times than I can count. I also consider them my alternate family and when things are bad at home; I usually stay here. 

Cohen comes out of the house with a mess of curly dark hair on top of his head, his bags are over his shoulder and one shoe in his hand. I can't help but laugh and rub my hand around his messy mop when he gets in the seat behind me.

"You're such a disaster," I joke with him.

He has these messy tight ringlet curls all over his head which all the girls love. He has naturally tanned skin and big dark eyes to match. He has the perfect look and build of a soccer player and he's a hella dope center midfielder. I swear the girl's team only stays for our games to watch him play.

"So, did I read correctly that the party's at your house tonight?" Cohen slaps my shoulder and I flinch. Cohen's not a threat, so I feel like an idiot retracting from his hand. He ignores it like the good friend he is and carrie's on like my reactions are perfectly normal. So, I try to focus on acting normal.

"Yeah, according to Declan over here," I say.

"That's right, finally someone else's mess to clean," Declan says and leans back against the seat.

"You nervous for the scout to watch you play tonight," Cohen asks me.

"Nah, I'm not nervous although we all don't have five offers already to choose from like you Co," I smile at him through the rear-view mirror. I'm proud of him, he deserves every one of those offers.

As soon as we pull into the school parking lot, we're bombarded with girls all wondering about tonight's party. My muscles tighten, yet I keep my face unreadable as they approach.

I'm leaning back against my car with my attention turned towards Declan when a hand presses against my chest causing me to react poorly. My eyes immediately turn towards the bleach blonde whose wrist I grab, pulling her hand off me. "What the hell Courtney," I glare at her.

She moves her other hand towards my shoulder and then glides it down my arm, tracing my muscles with her fingers. This time I was expecting it. She feels the hitch in my breath and winks at me. Where she thinks I'm enjoying her close proximity, It's actually agonizing for me. Physical contact from her was uninvited and instantly causes my anxiety to sky rocket, but if I want to keep up the charade I have going, I can't be obvious about how uncomfortable she's making me.

"Am I going to be the first girl to step foot in Becker Reeves bedroom tonight?" She squeezes my arm muscles. I can't handle her, so I swat her arm away. Is she trying to seduce me already? We're in the school parking lot!

"You wish Courtney. Becker already promised me that we would hang out together at the next party, right Beck?" Layla grabs my other arm and I pull away. "Leave your hands to yourselves," I snarl at both of them. I've never promised that girl anything.

I walk away from the crowd before I do something I'll regret and blow my cover. My speed picks up, ignoring Layla who's calling out my name and head straight for the locker room, drop off my soccer gear, and splash my face with cold water before my fear of contact causes me to have a panic attack.

What I need right now is to be in close proximity of Greya Matthews. Her presence alone eases my mind and I need that after Jack's attack and Courtney's hands on my body. When Greya's around me it's as though she allows me to take a break from the heavy burdens I carry. I can breathe around her. She doesn't ask questions and she doesn't try to touch me without my permission. She has a way of sensing my mental dilemma and being here for me without me telling her I need her. It's selfish of me to use her this way when I've made a promise to keep her at a safe distance. I can't help it. She's all I've ever wanted for the past five years and I know I can't have her. But, being in her presence and hearing her voice once or twice a day is better than nothing at all.

Maybe she'll come to my party tonight. It's a long shot because she's never been to any party. Who knows if it's really a good idea for her to be there any way. I admire her for not conforming to the popular and inappropriate behaviors of our school's student body. She's not like Courtney or Layla or any other girl who's fooled by my mirage either. I'm not entirely sure having Greya Matthews in my house would be good for my sanity anyway.

Damn my life. This is going to be a long day now that everyone's found out tonight's party is at my house. I've never had any of these people at my house before aside from Declan and Cohen, so it will be the talk of the school today. I can't back out now not even if I wanted too.

This is what it's like for me to be in survival mode. Let them talk. Let them be excited about being in my home for the first time ever, and let Courtney and Layla believe they have a chance without me actually giving them what they want. They like the tease and I've got to preserve the cover.