Becker's POV...

I inhale deeply while my face is buried into the crook of her neck. Hmm...Apple Pie. Her scent is comforting to me. I just want to pull her closer. I was petrified at first when her body pressed up against mine. Nothing prepared me for the intense emotions raging throughout my whole being the moment her arms wrapped around me. My mother had been the last person to ever embrace me. Up until now, I didn't remember what this could feel like.

"You can always trust me Beck, always," she softly says to me. I believe her, yet I'm still afraid.

I haven't felt a loving hand on me in years. It may have been possible but I never allowed anyone to touch me. Not after Jack has taught me to fear it... to hate it.

I'm starting to panic again. If Greya starts to brush her hands up and down my back like a normal person would do to show comfort, I will probably bolt out of here. She seems to sense what I'm feeling though and keeps her arms still.

I squeeze my eyes shut while breathing in the smell of apples one more time.

"Promise me you'll take care of your brother, B," My mother's hand cups my cheek. "What do you mean? Why do you have a suitcase mom?"

"Where the hell do you think you're going Anna?" My father's angry voice startles me. He's walking towards us with an empty beer bottle in his hand.

My mother hugs me and I grab onto her for dear life. I don't understand what she's doing. She untangles my arms from her and holds my shoulders while she looks at me. "You'll always be my beautiful brave boy. I'm sorry B, take care of Alec...promise me!" "I promise mom," I say while I choke back tears. "I love you son," are the last three words I ever hear from her again.

She walked out the door before my father could reach her. The anger in his eyes when he realized she wasn't coming back, is a sight that will haunt me forever.

"What are you crying about boy!" He slaps me across the face. "There will be no crying in this house, you hear me!" He shouts before turning from me.

I feel something move up my back. "Beck?" Greya's voice brings my mind back to reality. I realize her arms are still holding me and begin to freak out inside. I'm going to be sick. Trying not to push her too hard, I break from her grasp and lunge over the toilet to vomit. If she thought I was messed up before, this is the icing on the cake.

I grab the towel from the wall beside me and wipe my face. When I turn my head, she's staring at me wide eyed. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry Becker, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have put my arms around you like that. I just thought...I thought maybe you needed a hug...we both needed one," she rambles on. "I won't do it again," she says and hides her face behind her hands.

Shit! She was only comforting me. She knows I needed it. She needed it too. I want her to try that again.

I gently pull her hands away from her face and attempt to calm her down.

"It wasn't you Love," I half lie. "It might have been from all the blood and the pain," I hope to convince her. I don't want her thinking any of this is her fault. It's my fault, I'm the screwed up one.

"Thank you Grey, really...for helping me," I smile at her.
My heart's racing again when I look into those emerald eyes. My body unsure if I need her touch or if I need to run. She's never going to want to touch me again.

I look towards the floor feeling ashamed. "I'm supposed to be here for you today, not the other way around," I remind her.

"Friends are here for each other," she simply states.

We're both awkwardly gazing at the tile floor. I ruin everything with this girl. Her birthday, now her grandmother's memorial.

"Why now though? After all these years, why are you here now?" She catches me off guard with her question.

"What?" I'm confused.

"Why are you here now?" She asks again.

"I've always wanted to be here... it's just...complicated." I pause for a moment. I take this time to flush the toilet and wash my hands. She's still waiting for me to explain.  She is so patient and never nags, like she knows talking about anything personal is difficult for me. She deserves an explanation, yet I'm not ready to tell her everything, not today.

"I didn't know what happened to your family until recently," I admit to her.

"So, you're here now out of pity?" She asks.

"What! No, not at all. I now realize that It's time I became a better friend. I want to get to know you better and be here if you need me. I feel so stupid for not knowing earlier."

"Well, I'm glad you're here now," she says shyly. She tucks a strand of her long hair behind her ear. God, I just want to reach out and do it for her.

"I'm fucked up Greya, and I don't deserve someone as nice as you as my friend. But I want you to be, and I want to be a good friend to you. You make me want to be a better person. I'm sorry for the way I react sometimes, please believe that I'm trying...don't give up on hugging me just yet," I search her eyes for understanding.

"You deserve more than you think, Beck. You're a good person. And what ever you are going through is not your fault, " She looks straight into my soul when she says this, that I wish I could grab onto her and hold her close, never let her go. But I can't and that's the reality I live with.

"I should probably put on a clean shirt and we can join the others for lunch," I suggest before our conversation gets too deep.

I grab the bathroom door handle, about to walk out. "Beck, can you answer me this one thing...?"

I turn to face her and nod. "Is home a place you feel safe?" Fuck! Im not going to burden her with anymore than I already have. I don't want to lie to her either.

"I can't answer that," I tell her before walking out of the bathroom.