Oscensi's seventh regiment is a practiced machine. They move smoothly and efficiently, every soldier always busy, a constant bustle of white-streaked forms. The healers work without break. The soldiers drag the Neyaibet bodies further down the street and burn them, ashen smoke thick with death choking the rooftops. There are four dead Katamen residents, and each of them are seen to in a kinder manner, cleaned up as best they can manage and given to family for burial.

It's a mournful affair, yet all of it passes me by. I can only stare at Sarielle.

She remains mostly beside the other healer, Carlin, and talking constantly. I hear none of what she says, but occasionally I catch the edge of a faraway laugh and my heart stutters all over again. I'd forgotten what a tuneful sound it was. No wonder the residents are so quickly put at ease by her.

It's just as well she doesn't cross to my side of the street again. If she speaks to me, I don't know what I will say. All words lodge in my throat.

At some point, Nash comes back over, and I have no choice but to let him deal with my wound. The moment he touches my arm, I flinch. He has to pin it against my leg with one hand before he can get anywhere near the wound itself, despite my best efforts to remain still, which doesn't work at all in my favour. Annoyance scrapes off what little layer of gentleness he might have otherwise. By the time he's finished washing away the blood and splashing my arm with vialed liquid, it stings as fiercely as the sun, and I have to bite back multiple whimpers as he imprisons it in cloth.

It's both a relief and dreadful when he finally stands and picks up his kit. As I thank him through clenched teeth, I notice Sarielle and Dalton deep in conversation at the street's corner, and a different kind of pain squirms through my veins.

Using my left hand to pull myself up, I stand, unable to endure sitting helpless anymore. But I'm no less use on my feet. Bentley is helping Carlin with the last couple of injured. Cody is beside another soldier, both their bows drawn and pointed away from the crowd. The two sisters have vanished to another part of the village with bodies in tow. I don't even have the strength to help them dig.

Closing my eyes briefly, I lean back into the brickwork. Perhaps now is the time to take off my gloves. No-one has any attention spare for me.

Sarielle smiles at Dalton as she pushes off from the wall. I shake my head. I can't bear the thought of her glancing over to see me nursing a flame, as if nothing has changed in the year we've been apart, as if it's still all I can rely on. This wound I will manage on my own.

A sigh battles its way out of my chest. Yet maybe nothing has changed after all. I'm still standing alone, watching her from a distance, a world away from her circle of companions and laughter and light.

Dalton looks over just as my gaze brushes past him. Our eyes meet. I pull away immediately, staring down at my boots, but I sense him part from the others and pace over. His sword sheath rocks at his hip, gold-laced hilt sticking out. It appears paler now than it did before, more false, the scuff marks on his armour more obvious. Or maybe I'm just searching for flaws.

"Are you holding up alright?" he asks, gesturing to my arm.

I automatically lay a self-conscious hand over the cloth. "Fine." My tone comes out sharper than I mean it.

He steps in at my left side and leans in. "Sorry Nash is a little rough."

"I don't mind," I say, glancing up. His eyes are soft. I jerk away, fixing my gaze on his feet instead, his sturdy dust-coloured boots. Every time I look up at him, I see him twined with Sarielle, and protests hiss in the back of my throat. It's an effort to swallow them.

This is foolish. Dalton has been nothing but kind. He even saved my life, and yet I repay him with resent for one action. One kiss.

The kiss that was supposed to be mine.

My fists clench at my sides, warmth pulsing within them. I keep my gaze trained on the ground.

"I'm sorry if this is an odd question," Dalton says from above, "but how old are you?"

"Fifteen," I reply without looking up. It comes out quiet, hesitant, like a piece of me I'm not sure I want him to have. It's too late to snatch it back.

"Fifteen," he echoes thoughtfully, heightening the tightness in my chest. "Young to be travelling alone like this."

My head snaps up. "Well, how old are you?"

The sight of his slight smile doesn't help. "Nineteen." He spreads out his hands.

I push myself up on my toes, suddenly aware of how much taller he is. "It's only four years difference."

He chuckles. "You're right. I shouldn't judge." His smile fades. "I suppose if fifteen is old enough to fight Oscensi's battles, it's good enough for anything."

Biting my lip, I look down again. How old is Sarielle? Would it be odd to ask? Most likely. I always thought of her as my age, but now that is a real number rather than a vague idea I don't know what to label her as.

My gaze wanders to her again, over Dalton's shoulder. She looks older now. Too old. The armour, the tanned tone to her skin, it all makes her seem a different person entirely, someone I could never hope to know. And yet she only glows brighter for it.

"Anyway," Dalton says, jolting my attention back to him, "I just came over to say thank you, and well done for what you achieved today. Our job wouldn't have been as easy without the start you made."

I force a flickering smile. "It was all I could do."

Stepping away from the wall, he holds out a hand. It takes a second for me to fully register it, and another to move my hand into his. We shake stiffly. I'm glad to let go.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Nathaniel," he says, smoothing over the awkward moment. "I'd say I hope to see you again, but soldiers tend to either be attracted to trouble or to bring it with us, so I'll simply wish you well."

I dip my head. "And you." I'm surprised to find I mean it, until I add, "You and your regiment."

"You're leaving already?"

Cody's voice startles me. He limps in from my left, bow clutched in his hand. A faint crimson smudge has leaked through the cloth around his thigh, but the arrow wound seems to have stopped bleeding for now. He rests heavily on the wall beside me, staring up at Dalton. "I'm sure we could find accommodation for your regiment," he says. "You deserve it after how you saved us."

But Dalton shakes his head. "We don't need a reward. Besides, the sooner we're gone, the better." He fingers his hilt. "It's safer that way, for the both of us."

"If you're sure." Cody slides his bow onto his shoulder and shifts up against the wall. "Thank you, Captain Dalton."

I nod. "Thank you. Take care." Take care of her.

He bends in a slight bow. "You're quite welcome. Farewell, Nathaniel. Cody." Turning, he jogs back over to his soldiers, leaving us both in the shade.

Cody and I watch silently as they finish packing up their healing equipment, holster their weapons, and say final goodbyes to the rest of the villagers. My eyes remain trained on Sarielle. She has a curved sword similar to Dalton's, I notice, save for the icy blue tint to the hilt rather than gold, and a knife that Carlin, the healer, hands her. They must be friends for the way they stick together.

If I went over, spoke with her, told her who I was, would I still be her friend?

This should be my chance. Now, before she leaves alongside Dalton and her regiment, and I lose her to Oscensi's endless wilds again. But I can't seem to find the courage to move.

My feet shuffle, heels knocking against the cobbles. It shouldn't matter that she loves Dalton. Perhaps Rovena was wrong and I don't love her at all, as much as the stirring in my chest disagrees. We never gave thought to love before, did we? Why should it have any bearing now?

Yet so much is different now. We aren't hidden in the shadows of a secret basement, whispering between bars, carving out a dark little world of our own. This is the real world. The world where Sarielle has a life, and other, far less complicated friends. She fits with these people. She's happy. It would be selfish of me to change that for my own desires.

She's better off without me. As deeply as that invisible knife twists at the thought, it is the truth. She never truly belonged in my world.

When the soldiers turn to leave, I stay where I am, gaze passing over each of them. Dalton meets my eyes again and raises a hand to his forehead, hand flat in a makeshift salute. I return it with as much energy as I can muster, despite how heavy my bones weigh the longer I look at him. He matches her perfectly. His smile shines, and his hair sparkles like embers of a flame. Real flame, the kind that escapes my control, the sort that provides nothing but light and warmth.

Protect her, I want to call out. Keep her safe. But instead, I stay rooted to the spot, observing soundlessly as Oscensi's seventh regiment marches away down the street, sweeping her along with it.

The moment she vanishes from view, my entire body sags, tension dissipating. I consider slumping fully to the ground, even closing my eyes for a time, becoming numb to everything else while I come to terms with the feeling of her slipping through my fingers and away into the dirt. But then Cody nudges my side.

"You alright?" he asks. So my emotions are showing. I hurriedly straighten, pushing off the wall.

"Fine," I say. My tone is hardly convincing. I brush my fingers over my arm's cloth. "Just hurting a little, that's all."

With a sigh, Cody eases himself to the ground, injured leg sliding out straight. He pats the space beside him. After a final glance in the direction of the soldiers, a confirmation that they really are gone, I oblige, exhaustion tugging me down quicker than I anticipated.

"The same goes for you, you know." He rests a hand on my leg, smiling faintly. "I'm sure the girls and I can make room at my house for you to sleep. You can stay as long as--"

"I need to leave." My head tips down with the realisation. My limbs ache for a restful night and a place to stay, but I can't. I've already lingered in one place for too long, and put these people in enough danger. And there's only so much compressing of my flame that I can take. I doubt Katamen would appreciate me burning down a building every few hours to relieve stress.

He shifts closer. "Really, it's okay. I know Lena and Everly are a bit much, but... well, someone else might--"

"I can't stay. I'm sorry, Cody." I rest my hand over his. "Maybe I'll be able to come back someday, but it isn't safe for me to... be around people for long, I guess." I manage a smile. "I need to keep travelling."

Disappointment darkens his gaze, but he nods. His head tilts sideways. "May I ask where you're travelling to? Or is that classified?"

"South," I say.

He chuckles. "Nice and vague."

I shrug. "I suppose I'll figure out the specifics when I get there." It's going to be a long journey. But seeing the Oscensi soldiers today has filled me with some essence of hope, the idea that Neyaibet don't always win. We have a chance, no matter how small, and I'm going to seize it as hard as I can.

It's the best way I can help Sarielle now. From a distance, holding close the knowledge that she's safe and has others to look out for her. She doesn't need me there. Not when she has Dalton.

I give my head a hard shake, searching for a swift change of topic. "Do you want to go to the forest to check on your sisters?"

Much to my bemusement, he laughs. "I didn't think you were listening before."

My hand slips from his as I frown at him. "What?"

"I already went to see them. They're at home now." He laughs again, my confusion no doubt obvious. "Bentley had a whole argument with me over it before I convinced him to help me walk over there. I even asked you if you wanted to come." Amusement sparks in his eyes.

Now he says it, the vague memory of him asking me something tickles the back of my mind. The image of Sarielle wrapping cloth around a man's torso is far stronger. I duck my head. "Sorry. I guess the soldiers had me distracted."

"Distracted all right." He elbows my shoulder. "Don't worry. That blonde was pretty. I understand why you were checking her out."

I flinch as if his words sting. "You... you saw that?"

"How could I miss? You barely took your eyes off her."

Fear, irrational as it might be, surges through my veins, as if he's touching a spot too close to the truth. The mask feels looser over my face. I run a finger over it, pressing it into my skin, though I know it's foolish. He doesn't have a clue who I am. Why should he? Sarielle is my secret.

But that's just it. She's my secret. That's why Cody shouldn't find her pretty. That's why Dalton shouldn't kiss her in my stead.

"It was nothing," I say a little too quickly. A terrible liar, Rovena's voice taunts somewhere at the back of my mind, but I can't conceal the twisting in my heart. I scramble to my feet. "I should get going before nightfall."

"Woah, wait." Cody makes a futile attempt to rise, his face screwing with pain as he exerts pressure on his injured leg. He settles for grabbing onto my ankle from the ground. "I was afraid you might want to leave, so I gave Bentley your bag and sent him round the vendors. You said you came to buy food, right?"

"I did." I reach for my shoulder as if the bag will materialise onto my back. "There's coins in there. Bentley will pay for it with those, right? Or I can--"

"No." Cody yanks at my ankle, sending me stumbling into the wall. "You helped free us from Neyaibet. The least you deserve is some free food."

I shake my head. "Honestly, I can pay. It's only fair."

He fixes me with a stare. "You'll accept that food, Nathaniel, or I'll chain you up right here and force you to eat it. Pretty sure it isn't healthy to see that much of your ribs."

My hand rubs over my ribs automatically. "That isn't my fault," I mutter.

"I know." His voice softens, and he looks down, tracing the cobbles. "I'd come with you," he says quietly. "I actually considered it. Get out of this village in the middle of nowhere and go on some adventure." He sighs. "Escape to Akurin before Oscensi fades away entirely. But..."

"You can't," I finish for him. "Like I can't stay."

He nods. "I have my sisters to look after. And would I really be any good at travelling?" He chuckles halfheartedly. "I'd probably slow you down."

I want to deny it, but I can't. Part of me might welcome the company, but I can't entirely be myself with someone like him by my side. I work best alone. The sooner I learn that, the better.

"You have a job here, though," I say. "I know everything didn't go to plan today, but... if it had, it would have been down to you, not me. You're good at organising these people. They listen to you. If anyone can protect Katamen, it's you."

He smiles. "Thanks." It morphs into a grin as he folds his arms over his chest. "See the conversation we can have when you aren't staring at pretty girls?"

I shove at his shoulder. He swipes back at my side. Laughter tumbles from his lips, and I can't help but join him, a little weight lifted with the freeness of the sound.

"I'll miss you, Nathan," he says as it fades. "I know we've barely known each other any time at all, but I'll miss you."

"Yeah," I say slowly, though the word disintegrates on my tongue. My laugh is gone. The weight is back. "Yeah, I get it."

All the more reason to leave. He's starting to remind me of Finlay.

───── ⋆⋅♛⋅⋆ ─────

I did have fun with Cody. I debated back and forth letting him come along, but decided this made more sense. So Nathan's going to be alone again, it seems :/

 Nathan has such a crush though xD Poor boy--

This and the next chapter were formerly all in one, but once again, AToD demanded an extra chapter and so it has been karate chopped in half. All it does is make the next chapter more fun :D

- Pup