Everything is a blur. I feel like I keep waking up and passing out again. And every time I open my eyes, I see light brown staring back at me. Crying. Pleading with me not to leave again. I want to give him what he wants. I really, really do. But the pain in my head is unimaginable. The lights make me feel like my skull is going to explode, and every tiny bit of sound makes me want to throw up. Sleep is better than the pain. So... I sleep. Even though he's begging me not to.

I have no idea how many times I wake up and pass out again. Eventually I lose count. But finally, after who knows how long, I'm able to open my eyes. The pain is still there, but it's less now. More manageable. The light doesn't hurt. The world isn't spinning. It's not ideal, but it's better. So, so much better. I blink a few times before taking in my surroundings. White walls. Lots of weird technical sounds. The scent of something that smells like bleach, but somehow isn't. The hospital. I'm in the hospital.

Beside me, I hear what sounds like loud breathing. I slowly turn my head and see a mess of thick black curls and a pair of hands. Vale. His hands are covering his face, and it... it sounds like he's... crying. My heart tightens, and I carefully lift my hand up to place it on his arm. At my touch, he jumps, startled, and removes his hands from his face. His eyes are bright red and puffy, and his nose is glossy. How long has he been here like this?

"Genny," he whispers as he jumps to his feet and moves closer to me, placing the back of his hand gently against my left cheek. "Oh, Genny. You're awake." I nod my head slowly, and then wince. Okay, movement hurts. "No, no. Try to stay still. It's okay. You're okay."

I give him a tight smile, but my own eyes are filling with tears now. "Wh-What happened?" I ask, because I can't remember much of anything about the events that put me here. "Was I in an accident?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. My bracelet just kept buzzing and lighting up. I ignored it at first, but it wouldn't stop. When I called you to check on you, you didn't answer. It scared the shit out of me, so I signed onto the app and used the bracelet tracker, because I knew wherever you were, at least you had that. And that's how I found you. You were lying in a pool of your own blood behind some back-alley trashcan. There was an ugly gash on your head. And you said something about how he took your bracelet. But you were wearing it, so I didn't understand."

My eyes widen as I suddenly remember what I was doing there. "I was making a trade," I whisper as it all comes flooding back to me. "Someone said they had a ring to trade me for a bracelet. It was worth $10,000, so I didn't want to miss out on it."

His mouth falls open in surprise. "You... you were there for a trade?" I nod my head again, and instantly regret it. "Don't move your head. You have a concussion and a serious cut on the back of your head. They had to give you a few stitches." He pauses for a second. Then he sucks in a breath and says, "Someone did this to you then? Someone you were supposed to be trading with?"

"I don't really remember," I reply. "I just remember him slamming me against a wall, and then pushing me down. Maybe I hit my head against something? I have no idea. But when I woke up, the bracelet I was trading for was missing. He took it." And that's when the realization hits me. He took my trade. A whole summer worth of hard work, gone in a matter of minutes. I have nothing now. Back to square one. A tear falls from my eye as it hits me that my dream of going to school in Boston is now over.

Vale strokes my cheek with his hand. "Please don't cry, Genny," he whispers, but I can't help it. My heart is breaking. I tried so hard, and I got so close. Now what am I going to do? "It'll be okay. You're safe now."

"I have nothing now, Vale," I cry, and his face falls as more tears slide down my cheeks. "The trading game was my only hope of going to that school, and that guy... J... he took my trade. I have nothing now. It's over."

"J?" Vale asks. "That was his name?"

"I doubt it," I reply through my tears. "He probably made it up. God, I feel so stupid. I should've listened to you. I should've—"

"I should've gone with you," he interrupts, and I see his face begin to crumble. "Or one of us should've. Jesus, Gen. I... I can't tell you what I thought when I saw you in that alley. I... I honestly thought you were...." His voice trails off as a silent tear falls from his own eyes. "I thought I'd lost you. Like... really, really lost you." He pauses for a second, and then says, "Even though, in a way, I'd already lost you. Fuck, this is all so...."

I open my mouth to say something when someone else enters the room. Keke is standing in the doorway, her chest heaving as she runs to me. Vale steps aside to give her room, and she throws her arms around me. Pain shoots up my skull, and I have to swallow down some vomit as it radiates down my whole body. "Oh my God, Gen!" she says as she pulls away from me, her teary eyes examining me like a doctor checking for visible damage. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Hey, can you take it easy on her?" Vale snaps at Keke as Tyler and the twins enter the room too. "The doctors are still trying to assess the damage, so jumping on her like that isn't helping anything."

"Assess the damage?" Tree asks as they all look at me with concern. "What kind of damage? What happened?"

I open my mouth to reply when Vale says, "She was fucking mugged doing that stupid trading game. Really great idea, by the way, Keke."

Keke's jaw falls open as her cheeks redden with a combination of anger and shame. "Excuse me? The game wasn't exactly my idea, Vale."

His eyes are slits now as he glares at her. "Maybe not, but you didn't exactly discourage it. And now look at her." All eyes turn to me again, and I hate seeing the worry on all their faces. "Why was she there alone? I thought you guys were doing this together?"

"I didn't even know about it," Keke snaps, and there's a fire in her brown eyes.

"Hey now," Tyler says as he steps between Keke and Vale, who are both staring furiously at each other. "Let's try to calm down, okay? This isn't anyone's fault."

"She could've been killed!" Vale yells, and he's so angry. Angrier than I think I've ever seen him. "When I found her, I thought she was dead! I thought my life was over! Do you have any idea how that feels, Keke? I thought the love of my life was dead!"

The room falls totally silent as everyone takes in Vale's words. Keke's anger vanishes in a second and is replaced immediately by shock. The twins are staring at Vale with wide eyes, and Tyler winces and looks at me to gauge my reaction. Despite all the pain in my head, I feel suddenly lighter. The love of his life? I'm the love of his life? Butterflies are dancing around in my stomach, but the surprise of his words leaves me sitting there with my own mouth hanging open.

"Oh my God," Keke says finally, and I can almost hear the gears turning in her head. "You're in love with her." It's not a question. The implication of what Vale just said has finally hit him, and he blanches and turns to look at me with apologetic eyes.

"Vale?" Taylor asks, and I watch as he closes his eyes tightly and takes in a breath.

"I'm sorry," he says to Keke. "I'm... I'm so...." Angry. Furious. Relieved. Worried. He's so many emotions, and I can see all of them dancing in his sweet brown eyes. "I'm going to go. I'm going to ask the doctors for an update."

"No, Vale, please don't go," I plead, but he just shakes his head and walks past everyone out the door of my hospital room. There's so much I want to tell him. So much I need to say to him, and I don't care who hears it. I don't care who knows. I love him. I will only ever love him for the rest of my life.

The silence in the room is agonizing as everyone tries to process what the hell just happened. Not surprisingly, Keke is the first one to speak. "Gen... what's going on?"

The secret is out anyway. There's nothing to hide anymore. So I take a breath and tell them everything. I start with the kiss, and everything just spews out from there. The secret relationship that Vale never wanted to keep a secret. The breakup. The night we had sex. And then the big fight that ended everything. I tell them everything, and I find that, as the worlds gush out of me, I feel so much lighter. I didn't realize how heavy the secret was until I let it go.

When I'm done with my story, Tree blinks in surprise and then says, "Wow, you're an idiot." I wince and look away, because I know she's not wrong. I have been really, really stupid.

"I know," I reply softly.

Keke is gentler as she sits carefully next to me on my bed. "Sounds like you've had a crazy summer," she says, and I give her a sad smile. "Gen, I wish you would've come to us about this. We would've supported it."

"I know," I respond miserably. "That was never the issue. It was all me. Tree's right. I was a major idiot. I was too afraid of losing my best friend to give him a chance to be more. And then I actually did lose him. I don't deserve him."

I have no idea when I started to cry, but now the waterworks are flowing freely as ugly sobs escape my throat. Taylor and Tree move next to Keke to comfort me, while Tyler, who already knew the whole story, goes out to check on Vale. "Actually, and I know how bad this is about to sound, but just... listen." I nod my head very slowly as Keke reaches for my hand and gives it a little squeeze. "You two deserve each other."

I give her a little teary smile. "But you said long distance relationships never work out, remember? That's why you and Paul aren't going to give it a—"

"Paul asked me to be his girlfriend," Keke interrupts. "And I said yes. We already have plans to get together on Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's meeting my parents before I leave, and I met his last week."

This shocks the hell out of me. "Wait. But you said that you were too nervous about long distance to give it a shot, and that you were going to break up with him. What happened?"

She shrugs. "We talked about it when I got back. And we agreed that what was happening between us was worth the chance. So... we're taking the leap. And if you would've talked to me about you and Vale, I would've told you the same thing. Vale makes us all crazy, Gen. He's an adorable shithead. Like a brother to all of us. But let's not kid ourselves... he's never been like a brother to you. There was always something more there. And I think he's worth the leap for you."

She's right, of course. "But I totally blew it," I say as I wipe the snot from under my nose. Tyler re-enters the room, and for a moment I'm hopeful that Vale is with him. But he's not, and my heart sinks. "He's with Maddie now anyway. So it's moot."

Tyler makes a face. "Who's with Maddie?"

"Vale," I say, and Tyler blinks in surprise. "I saw her practically naked at his house just the other day."

"Vale is with Maddie Shaw?" Tree asks, her mouth hanging open. I nod my head. "No way. Vale can't stand Maddie Shaw."

"Vale is definitely not with Maddie," Tyler says as he shakes his head. "I have no idea what you saw, Gen, but I can promise you... he would never hook up with her. And besides, the Vale I just spoke to out in the hallway is madly in love with you. He's just not sure how to tell you or if he even should."

I want to believe it. I really do. But they didn't see Maddie standing in his doorway like I did. What reason could she possibly have for being at his house naked like that? Is it possible that maybe I somehow misunderstood the situation? Ugh, I'm so confused now. And I'm starting to get tired again. I rest my head back against my pillow, and my friends decide to give me the space I need to recover. I get a quick hug from all of them and watch as they leave me alone in my room. Then I close my eyes and drift back to sleep. I'm not sure if Vale comes back, but Tyler's words dance around my head the rest of the night. And I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, I haven't lost my chance with Vale after all.

Author's Note:

Phew! Gen is okay! And the secret is finally out! Any thoughts? Let me know what you think in the comments!

I hope all of you have a safe and happy new year! I've done the math, and I think I've written about 180,000 words this year. I know, I can't believe it either. I plan on finishing A Touch of Cinnamon very soon, and then I'm going to take a small writing break to get my head together. I would like to have my next story up by the summer, but who knows? Maybe it'll go up a lot sooner. Only time will tell. But thank you all for being a part of this incredible writing journey with me! Despite its many challenges, 2023 has been a blessed year for me. And I'm excited to see what 2024 has to offer.

Be kind to one another in 2024. Stay healthy. And I'll see you there!
XOXO,
~Aly