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It was moments until we managed to move, or rather I did. Leaving him in his truck to get my bike into the back bed, we still need to talk and I understand that. But what I don't understand is what in the world I was possibly thinking in going to that direction, it took me a minute. But once I had my hand connected to his, with my feet up on the dashboard in utter silence did it finally hit me.

I was trying to prove I was better than Julia, barely halfway home did I still get it. Especially when his eyes were burning to my side and I didn't say a word. "'m sorry. Really hope we work it out, Blake." That is when I smiled, his reasoning to it, or his understanding of my own expression as I tried to work through the situation had him speak up. And it wasn't the rotten tone I was given earlier when he was trying to explain everything, so in response did I hold onto his hand all the bit firmer, rubbing my thumb into his hold as I nodded.

Us returning to my house wasn't eventful, instead, I managed to get my bike cleaned and mostly taken apart to do a normal check of how much effort and love we need to put into these things to actually work. 

I regretted losing control with him, but there wasn't a part of me that felt the courage to tell him that. My mind was just ticking for the moments for him to go home, the aloneness allowed me not only to get my homework done. But a general relaxing day off for tomorrow, whoever or why ever they chose to take the Tuesday off smack in the middle of the week, I will never know. Guess the students do need a daybreak, but it's more for the teachers considering it's called 'professional development day.' 

Even when he left did I find myself still working on the bikes, again was it that consistency of trying to make myself better or distinct from Julia. A girl I never even met before, he's obviously attracted if he allowed it to get as far as it did. But he was so quick to blame it on a drug he shouldn't have taken, I made mistakes too. They were done with ease and didn't cause anyone else pain other than me.

The things I regret shouldn't be martyred by me being mad at Daryl, they should just be a reminder to not let my guard all the way down. And in this case was it a hundred percent my mission to keep it in the back of my mind. Even if that means releasing my anger at the last place I wish to cry.

The shower has been my relief station for as long as I can remember, nobody can bother or interrupt you. The burning water just relaxing my muscles after the long and boring math equations I just finished up, that and because it always me to blame the soap for getting into my eyes if it's too puffy. 

It wasn't tears of empathy that it normally is, it's anger, pure and general anger of having myself change the way act to be better than another. I hated it, I hated people who did it to win someone over. 
But the second I allowed myself the calming breath and stopped myself from shedding any more tears. Did I realize I was fine. If he does anything more in the senses with Julia or anyone else, it's done and over with. 
That is probably why he drew out the 'I thought we were dating card' but even that backfired on his own stance. If we were, which we are now in clarification of what so suddenly happened today...Then why would he do what he did?

Rubbing my eyes free from the burning sensation that might not have been numbed by how hot the water was, did I grab a hold of the shower's curtains and yank it aside. Being welcomed by the alarming amount of steam that managed to build up over my entire shower.

It was refreshing to know that there is more than one shower in this house, and there isn't a line, time limit or even scheduled to take one. I can go whenever need be.

Drying my body was the first task, but the time I managed to dampen my hair did I walk back to my room. Tight grey sweatpants and a light sweater so that the heat won't be so high tonight.

Entering my room with half my head in the towel did I hear the end of my ringtone sound beside my textbooks. Confused as I was did I look at it, the multiple mixed calls and texts were all from the same individual.

And if he didn't have any better timing, I began to hear the rusty old truck make it's way to the barn. Instead of responding did I find a heavier sweater to venture outside in, I wasn't about to call back when I know he's here.

It's just easier to talk face to face, raising the window up and off towards the back. It was my mother's mistake in wanting to close the back porch just the smallest bit, for it became a sturdy latter for myself, and now for Daryl, if his main reason in coming was to sleep over.

It was late, especially for him to just drop by unexpectedly. I could see him just leaning against his truck, phone up to his ear to begin the vibration in my pocket. And instead of answering did I decline, making him curse louder than I expected.

The voice wasn't husky, it wasn't calm. It was full-blown anger, meaning something must have happened. Especially for him to almost bang his fist to the car, but what had me smile in the moment. That he allowed himself to cool off, only lightly tapping the truck in regards to what it would have gotten.

It was then he saw me, making my way in my pajamas. "Shit did I wake you on up again? Didn't even think bout-"
"No...No, I was in the shower." Most of my hair was hidden from the cold wind by the heaviness of my sweater, and he nodded along. He sensed the distance already, and I was already in worry of where this was going to go. 

I can probably sneak him up into my room, but we have to park his car into the barn. "Think I can stay...? I'll sleep in the truck if ya still mad at me, I just...I just can't go back on home." I nodded along, unlocking the barn door and pushing it all the way to the side to allow room for his truck. "Stepdad's home, we have to hide it." The smile set us back a few steps, but he managed to get into his car before I can even mutter the next word I was thinking.

Was I truly that evil to make him sleep out here?
We're going to get past whatever sort of shit he pulled that night with time, not revenge. So when he slammed the door shut of his truck I just waited at the enterence for him to come on out and follow. 

The main issue being I cannot see in the dark for shit, and whatever was in his arms seemed to expand far enough in the back to be noticed. "You want to sleep out here?"
"Ya uncomfortable, I get it. I done fucked up, just...Thanks for lettin' me stay." 
My question just alluded him as he was about to climb on into the bed of the truck. And this was the first time since the afternoon that I've touched him, and in doing so did he look into whatever was in my eyes at the moment to understand what I meant by this.

"I don't care how fucking mad I am at you, I'm not letting you sleep outside in the cold." The smile underwent a few seconds of hesitation before popping up indefinitely, and with my hands just resting at his chest did he sneak a kiss onto my cheek before leading us both out back into the cold air. 

"Whatcha doin' up so late anyhow?"
"There's no school tomorrow," I mumbled, looking over at him and chuckling at his clear misunderstanding of what the school schedule is. I can just imagine him showing up and there is no cars what so ever in the parking lot. 

"Best be shittin' me...Ya sure? Ain't no prank?"
"What...You want to graduate now?" He chuckled at my sheer joke, what he wanted to do with his schooling was up to him. Daryl never laid a finger on or against my school work, and I am happy with that outcome at the very least. Even if he didn't feel it was important, he allowed me to feel it.

"Nah, too far behind. Almost twenty and-" I stopped dead in my tracks, I didn't know he was nineteen already. Christ, I don't fucking know a thing about him. "What?"
"I didn't know how old you are..."
"Two years ain't nothin'." 
Continuing to place my foot in front of the other to make it into the house, did I manage to formulate a plan of how this will go. Most of the house is already asleep, so I doubt anyone will come tomorrow. 
Jarod's going to be the only one home, so if anything does happen. I think he'd understand more or less. That and Daryl gets to meet Mikey in the morning if that were to be the case. "It's not the number...It's me just not knowing. It feels like I don't know you at all."
"I swear...Ima tell ya everythin' just...Just lemme figure out how to."

Nodding did I understand, it took me multiple sit-downs with the therapist to describe what happened. It isn't always about the way of someone saying it because when someone tells what happened they too relive the memory again and again. Another reason I hate the court system, it failed from factoring the one thing it was solely required to do. And that was to put a dangerous man behind bars.

As we made it closer to the house, did I manage to give the littlest ounce of directions in getting to the roof. It took me a few tries to get it right, especially in the dark. But looking down did I see he managed with little to no difficulty, the only issue was trying to get through the window. Having to step right on or over the couch within the wall, he almost but fell, losing his balance for a split second before getting back to his two feet.

Shaking his head to silently tell him I saw, did he look around both my desk and bed to see the horrid mess I had left it. All alined with textbooks and papers. "Sorry...I was studying." I whispered, trying to grab everything in the given order. And either hide it in folders and slap it onto my desk.

I did, however, find the sweatpants he wore last time over the weekend, and smiled in reaction to it as I still organized my mess. "Ya tired?" He saw my sneak of a yawn that suddenly escaped my mouth and I nodded in defeat. And in that did he grab my laptop and try and help conserve time to get the bed cleared.

With everything under control for the decent moment, did I go and lock the door. Everyone in the house usually knocks anyhow. But I didn't want to take any chances, so when I looked on back to Daryl just sitting on the side of the bed he usually takes. He chuckled, making his hole body rock back and forth. "You aren't in the clear yet Dixon." I pointed to him, his smile instantly went away in a moments time, nodding vigorously as he understood.
"I never had no girlfriend before, that sounds bad B, but it's true...Just been with 'em, nothin' more." 

I didn't look at him, I couldn't. Not in the first few moments after it drifted into the surrounding of my room, pulling the covers over did he too follow in pursuit, adjusting the pillow to his liking. And I can't admit to myself let alone him, that when he leaves I snuggle close to inhale his scent further. 

He smelled like tobacco and woods, and there was nothing more I craved than that. "I never seen ya mad before..." Sighing to turn off the lights, and the littles bit of glowing came from whatever sort of technology I didn't shut off properly, but I couldn't care at the moment either. I was tired and angry. "Can I ask what happened?"
"Got in a fight with Merle, fuckin' asshole...He likes ya ya know. Can't say that 'bout most people I hang 'round with."

That was the first honest part I laughed at, Merle actually took favor in me. So I nodded, opening my arms for him just resume the position from last time he was here. But instead did he pull my entire being onto him. Letting rest solely onto his body. "Let's not get into any more fights...Alright?"
"Yes ma'am." He was slow in responding, guess he was tired as well. So instead of staying awake for a conversation I don't think I can fathom. I instead close my eyes, snuggling close to his hold as I feel myself. "When ya said that shit about Shawn doin' the same thing to ya...I can't loose ya neither Blake...I love ya." His whisper was so soft, so quick that I was having trouble depicting if I was asleep or still awake.

*

The amount of movement going on around me had me shift back and forth to return to the comfortable position I had, but no matter what I had done. It didn't work. Instead I opened my eyes to the sweat and utter view of Daryl changing before me, and rather than say anything...

I just stared open eyedly before him. It took him a good moment, for him to put his belt on, grab his jacket. But once he made it towards the window to look on back I began to shake my head. "Didn't wanna bother ya on ya day off."
Singling out my pointer finger did I just inch him to come on back to me, and as he sat on the open side of the bed did I rise up to level with him.

"What did I say in the woods before...You can't bother me." He found his distraction by interlocking my free hand with his, pressing deeply through making me smile. While my other hand just rubbed my eye in hopes of waking up entirely. 
"Don't tell me you were just going to leave."
"I got some errands to run if ya wanna come. Can't say they're legal tho." Letting my elbow rest on my now risen knee as I stared on off towards him, for some reason I thought he was joking. But he wasn't, not even in the least bit. 
"It's a date." I laughed, clearing the air for the decent portion of a second as he allowed me to rise to my feet. And in that instant did I go towards my closet, trying to find something to wear. So I grabbed my regular solid black tank top and matched it with a red flannel. It wasn't cold, the high sixties if nothing else. And the long flannel kept me warm in colder weather, and with it did I find my ripped skinny jeans and tall boots. 

I don't think we're taking my bike, but I've grown used to the tall boots that I can't even begin to find normal socks to wear sneakers with anymore. Looking into the mirror did I see that falling asleep in yesterday's makeup did me the littlest bit of justice, just taking off the edges did it turn into a decent smoking eye that I was forever thankful for.

Opening my closet door did he turn around, his eyes might have wandered but until they met up with my squinting eyes was he doomed in knowing what he did wrong. I don't know how long I can feel against him for what happened or what he allowed to do.

"What are we doing exactly?" I asked, grabbing both my phone off the charger and the small wrist purse from my draw. But he still didn't answer my question until my eyes locked back onto his. "Gotta stop back at the house, just doin' some drop-off and shit. Ya don't have to-" My eyes spoke for me again, I trust him. But if I sit in here all day I'll just be thinking about what he's doing, and how his actions aren't bothering me but doing something else.

It's a constant strain of figuring out what I'm thinking, but he reluctantly nodded along. I want to see what he does, otherwise, I'd end up either studying or working on the said bike that we only have a few weeks left to complete.

Even though Jarod was the only one home, he understood going down the way he came up. And instead of following, I went down the normal way in hopes of grabbing something to eat on the day he is straining to work through.

Running down the stairs am I greeted with Jarod sitting down at the large kitchen island just eating his cereal while reading a book. "You ready for midterms?"
"I only have four."
"How the fuck did you-" If it was the look I managed to give both these men to have them stop speaking, or the constant flow of thoughts coming at a slower pace did he understand. "Didn't think I was smart?"
"Nah I did...Ryan's still bummed you didn't go with him to the dance." Shaking my head into the fridge, do I grab a water bottle and an apple from the center of the island right before him.

His questionable eyes continued to wander throughout it all, but as I connected my two fingers together for a salute did he stop me. "Mom's wondering when you're gonna go with her to find a dress." Sighing, all while scratching my eye brow with my free hand. Fuck. I completely forgot. 
"How...How formal does this thing get?" He chuckled, wiping his face with a napkin before going off to a picture in the living room. Seeing my mom in a long red formal gown honestly worried me to the point of disbelief. "You can take Ryan, make up for the-"
"Can I go with someone in the army? Or is that wrong for Michael being my stepdad sort of thing?"

I stopped him dead in his tracks to ask him my own question, and in doing that did his eyes spark up. "Who were you thinking of?"
"Jeremy, he was really nice when I volunteered."

The expression and overall reaction of Jarod agreeing to this entire thing was alarmingly easy, especially when they've been friends since they were in diapers. Doubt it'd be too much trouble not to ask.

It's just me telling Daryl.

Fuck.

My mind was completely racing as I made my way to the barn, I didn't tell Jarod where I was going. And he honestly didn't give a shit to question it. Taking the smallest bite of my apple did I just catch Daryl crouched down by my bike. "Dixon..." I breathed, still chewing on my apple. Coming around behind him and just gently waking him upside the head, I told him not to play with my bike. "Just wanted to look at the engine...Gotta say, Merle's a lil jealous." Again did I laugh, he's been eyeing it the day I met him. 
Even outside the dinner when I first moved here, sharing a smoke with him as he picked up that order. 

God...It feels like yesterday.

"What did ya brother want?" He asked, wiping his hands of the free rag on whatever bench he found it on. So piecing together what is going on at the military base isn't even an event for myself. It's more of supporting my step-dad in his speech or whatever it might be.
"I have this thing at the army base to go to...It's like a ball- Hey! Step dad's a general, I have to be supportive somehow."

The second I mentioned what it was did he allow the smile to escape his lips, but mentioning the general was the honest mistake in that. "He's a general?! Boy, we've done fucked up if ya get caught huh?"
"Ha! Now you're worried?" Guess he didn't know the position Michael was ever in, being in the military is one thing. Leading thousands upon thousands is completely different, on top of that did he sleep over.

As we loaded ourselves into the truck did we drive on off to his house, again, I haven't been here since the sudden incident. And when he told me to stay in the car I wasn't about to budge, only I was bored out of my mind as he counted whatever it is he needed. 

Propping my feet up on the dashboard did I see Merle come on out of the house, a quick wave made him lightly jog his way on over. "Hell ya doin' back?" He questioned, pointing off to the house did I respond. "Errands, whatever that means." He let his entire arm extend to hold onto the truck, I felt wrong to just stay sitting but at the same time...I wasn't about to leave the car. 

"Ya be careful right? Ma baby brother has already been in too many fights when he don't needa be."
"Heard you two got into a fight, everything okay?" The ringer of a chuckle left his throat in a rusty way, the familiarity just sounded drastic in the back of my mind.
"That's where he ran off too?...Figured as much. Ya. Pops broke his bow, real shit feast last night...Ya want one?"

In the mist of his explanation did he light a cigarette. But I was so caught up in the littlest bit of information that I missed the opportunity and he asked again, taking out the cigarette from his mouth and gestured before him. "Ain't no gentlemen of me not offer on my own damn property." 

Opening the door as gently as I could do I take the offered stick, lower down to the lighter. Breathing in the toxic fumes that rendered me relaxed, even more so to sit on the hood of the truck. Having him right below me as he waited on out. 
"How bad's the bow?"
"Ain't a cheap fix. He's pretty mad about it...And that fight at the bonfire, ya missed out princess." Flicking down the cigarette beside my leg onto the driveway gravel. Letting out a pathetic laugh in response did I breathe in one last time before giving my conclusion of it all.

"Yeah...Didn't know there was a party."
"Aw shit...Listen, 'im and Jules ain't nothin' no more...He's never brings nobody home with 'im 'fore, let alone teachin' 'em how to shoot." My eyes widened, this was the clarification I needed. Merle knew exactly what was going on and how to say it, shaking my head was the only thing I could manage at the moment. 

"He's my baby brother, all I got. And when I say he likes ya Blake. He likes ya. I give 'im too much shit for being a pussy, but hey. Ya ain't so bad."
"I'm guessing he didn't tell you about the deer then?" 

His eyebrows connecting together was he genially confused, guess they didn't have too much time to talk with Daryl off doing whatever and Merle being...Merle. Guess they don't talk too much. "He was teaching me how to shoot, over to that set up you have over there. When we were walking back I saw the deer."
"Get the fuck outta here. Shit why the hell didn't he tell me?"

Shrugging did drop the inch of my cig to the floor, letting the smoking just die on with it.
"I think I shot in the wrong spot...I don't know. I met your uncle, took care of it right away." Again did he stumble, the feeling of being out of place right now was creeping in. Especially when he looked at me like I am crazy. 

"And I thought the two of ya were just screwin' around in the beginnin'...But to be fair. I metcha first." Rolling my eyes back into my head did we share another laugh in memory. Him demanding another round of beers, even if Daryl gave me his ID back in the dinner would it have said 'over twenty one' because of how fake it actually is. 

"How much does the bow cost to fix?"
"One Franklin, don't got any savin' to go and get it fixed." As he was talking, did I push myself down to the ground. Stomping out my cigarette that refused to die out before heading to my wallet, I didn't have a Franklin. But I did have two S. Grants waiting out for him. Folding the two bills up did I place it onto the truck. "Princess I can't take ya money."
"How are you two going to hunt without it?" Him hesitating in taking it wasn't the expected reaction, but never the less took it and shoved it into his pocket. 

"Thanks sweetheart. I'ma pay ya back when I can." I nodded, he seemed excited. More upbeat than before when the conversation started. But the second the front door of the house opened, having Daryl skip the given few steps as he made it to ground level. A large black duffle bag in hand. 

He didn't say a word, instead, he just nicked his head forward for me to return to the car. And as Daryl moved passed his brother, Merle gripped his forearm to stop him in his tracks. Reaching into his back did he take out the damn pistol. The one I believe I held before.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

As he slid his way into the driver's seat, did he so cleverly place the large duffle bag back behind the seat before fixing his entire position to accumulate the added weight of whatever was in the bag. "Ya take care now girly!" Offering the brother a small before we began to back up to the main road, all I heard Daryl mutter from his breath was 'asshole' as he continued to round about the car. "What happened?" 
I asked, and his small little twitch of shaking his head already alarmed me for half the story I was about to hear.
"My bows broke, don't gotta enough money to go on and get it fixed. Probably why he offered ya a smoke." He sounded more than hurt with the entire subject, he took favor in his bow. And I understand that entirely, childhood memories of just stuffed animals or whatever I found valuable as a child being ripped and torn apart in front of me.

Guess it was natural for it to stop being objects, than to people. 

"Ya thinkin' of what ya want for a tattoo?" Nodding my head, did he looked at me to continue. But what else was I going to say, I have an idea but not the fledged design. "You know the drawing on my bike?...I was thinking of getting that on my back." The sudden approval had me smile at the thought, that and because we were going to be able to stay in Atlanta for the given few days leading up to getting it. "Does it hurt?"
"I think ya will be able to handle it. Ain't so bad." 

It was silent from there out, although the given static of a song trying to make it's way through the radio before us. Even when he hummed through the song, seeing his hands tap at the wheel. I was surprised, shocked even that he knew the actual song. "Don't like the song?" Was all Daryl could question, his hand resting against the window beside him as he leaned on into it. Much like I was doing across from him, not knowing how long the drive necessarily is.
"Haven't heard it in a while."
"One day we just gotta...Just gotta clear the air, drink till the fuckin' moon and talk bout everythin'." I sighed, it was going to be hard to retain the information. But I feel somewhere among it all, will it come out anyway with it. "Wish we didn't have to do it that way..."
"Ain't our fault...Throw in some weed too." Rolling my eyes at his obsessive idea of the fact that I'm more open when my mind is elsewhere. Who's isn't?

That's when the truck took a sudden turn into a parking lot. Not having been here before did I look at the tall neon sign that read 'Liquor and beer.' Guess it's all sorts of shit today. "Be right back." Nodding, did I watch him enter in the store. His angel wings rocking side to side as he posed himself like the owner of the place, I smiled at his level of confidence. 
That and because he has a gun under his belt.

It took the given half a second for me feel the curiosity of opening the bag behind my seat, but every time someone was walking in or out of the store did they have a clear view of what was going on. So instead did I just kick my feet high on up to the dashboard and take out my phone, playing a mindless game that was already downloaded. But it was quick to trail off to the damn military ball that is being hosted by my stepfather. This would be the first real event and I am terrified.

Just hope I get to go with Jeremy, sure that will be a doubtful idea but make me feel less on edge. But even then, when I was focusing on something for a solid minute did he return. And with cigarettes. My relief of a sigh drifted as he ripped open the box and threw it to his feet, handing one off to me. "Looked like ya could use a couple." He was focusing on driving about so I took the liberty of finding a lighter within the confinements of it all...

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Date Posted: 02-05-18 // Time: 1:10
Word-Count: 5148
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I just got to campus and I have twenty minutes to spare...So here's a chapter :)