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I hated the blandness of my quarters, the standard light, desk, and bed. All cramped with a given few square feet of bathroom space to match the given shade of dark. It was morning, early morning. And I still had twenty minutes before training started for today. 
Tying my shoelaces as my eyes never deviated from my pictures sitting on my desk, the only color within the room. 

Finding my phone did I reread the last email I have saved once again. 'Tickets confirmed,' I smiled, the seven tickets purchased to say my given 'thank you' to both Shane and the Grimes family for taking my daughter under their wing. 

Just needed to get through this last week, and we can enjoy the next few months in soloist peace.

The days went quick and the nights went quicker, but by the end of the training and evaluations. I found myself thoroughly impressed by myself and the others in my rankings, some of which I gave them contact information. In case they are ever in King's county and want a drink.

Who am I to give the silliest no to?

Just wish the soreness in my bones from the months worth of work out didn't condom me to the serious amount of bruising and cuts. Sparring and other inventions. My biggest goal returning back to the normal life will get a learning ability in coding, found it an almost weakness. 

Not the worst in my class but I know I can do better. My typing wasn't the issue, it was my lack of knowledge of everything.

So that is what I realized on my way how, to find a class to teach me. Typing away on my laptop at my business class seats sectioned me off from prying eyes.

The alluding sensation of returning back to this damn airport was one thing, but to see more than Jarod waiting for me at the airport was another. The running pattern of feet came ever so fast as they all leaned in for a hug. 
Molly, Mickey, Carl, and Addie bringing me into the middle of their circle as they laughed and giggled. Talking over each other as they tried telling me all that has happened. Guess that's what happens when another month is added to the list.

Both Rick and Lori came over this way to help me get the given kids off my body and give me into a hug. "Welcome home, Agent." Rick teased, having Lori swap him in the stomach at his excessive amount of planning for that little joke. But he was quick to reach for my suitcase and lead me towards the nearest coffee store, guess it was obvious I need it.

"Mommy mommy! Grandma said the house is done! Can we go today?" I smiled, my mother didn't tell me that. My daughter must not have known it was a surprise, but evidentially it was alright.
I hate surprises in any form.


The ride home was long, but the second we made it to king's county and passed by the regular turn. My glare to Rick signaled what was about to happen, my mother so cleverly planned this out. And I'm praying it isn't as big as I'm thinking it is.

But instead, it's bigger.

The amount of cars, kids and people just in my backyard and elsewhere rang free. And although Rick was quick to get the suitcases, I was brought into another hug so quickly I didn't even see who it was. But by the height and buff figure, I knew it'd had to have been Shane.
"God I missed ya." He said in my hold, kissing my cheek as he was again, quick to help unload the car from my suitcases full of stuff.

"Who's idea was this?"

"Let ya take a wild guess? She's been planning this for weeks, ever since you let her have the job of organizing it?" Shaking my head with my duffle bag and purse over my shoulder did I follow everyone into the house, and I already smiled in delight at how everything looked. How homey and inviting it became.

This is mine.

I did this. 
I own this.


The children were running around already, and the quick scold of Lori to 'take it outside' commenced as the three-eyed judgment commenced between myself and the two men beside me. I don't have the strength to tell my child no, not unless she's done something bad.

It wasn't that she's a bad parent, she just has a set of management being with the kids every day that it's fallen to her in being the bad guy. Always. 
"I'm going to wash up real quick...Please, no jumping out."
"Thought ya trained for that Blake! What'd they teach you over there anyway?!" I wanted to say something smart and cutting, but I shook my head with an alluding smirk and continued upstairs to just run the water of my bathroom. 
My bathroom.

The master bathroom. 

Not wanting to get my hair wet or anything I stepped on out, but my planned clothes were replaced ever so fittingly with a dress and flats.
Damnit Annett.
Although it had the little counting for straps and it looked overall nice.

I couldn't really picture myself wearing this, but as of right now. The pictures awaiting for me, I'll suck it up and wear it. Fixing the base of my hair and brushing through it with the intent of looking somewhat decent. 

The constant struggle of looking around for everything had me take the extra minute of time. But it was a feeling like no other, to have everything needed here. To have new, fluffy towels never been used.

It felt wonderful. 

Something I've never experienced before, and something I've  wanted to provide Addie since day one. Reapplying my mascara once again as the tears managed to take out the last layer, did I finally pride myself to leave the security of the bathroom.

However, I cannot stand the black flats my mother picked, so I found some sandals within the closet. Which, by the way, were organized to the brim with my clothing. 

But shocked me the most, was the smallest box just hidden in the corner. My first instinct to go look. I know what it is, I just need to—

"Blake?" I heard the knock at the door so I closed my closet and managed to go outside before my mother opened the door. "Oh honey you look wonderful!" Glaring up at her and then forcing a smile as she grabbed my hand and forcefully pulled me downstairs. 

Already was the amount of food and everything a gentle shock to my system, even more so when I saw Michael and some of his colleges. Dr.Burton I've worked with before, and it was one of the first people who came up and congratulated me on my progress. 

PTSD studies and now in this field? Seems like the world only knows what's racked in my mind.

Music, food talking. All of which is leaving me to feel exhausted, especially when the alcohol came out. And Shane presented me with a glass. "Come on, let loose a lil bit. Ya deserve it." He spoke so freely with the glass in hand, looking to the expensive drink did I shake my head. 

The last time I drank was six years ago. "Christ, don't ya remember when Rick and I wanted to take ya out for ya 21 birthday. You remember what ya said to me?" I shook my head, probably wanting to get out of the situation, like I do right now.
"That'd ya only drink for celebration, so one sip. All I'm askin'." Sighing did I take hold of the drink and he was quick to take my free hand and rush me to the center of the entertainment. Shuttering in fear of everyone's wondering eyes. "I wanna propose a toast to Blake. God who woulda thought the higher power sought her out? Can I get a cheers?!" He yelled, and even my daughter held up her on count fifth soda and cheered towards me. 
And although I wanted one sip, a second gulp came about it. Until I poured the rest into his glass.

"You didn't have to do that."
"Of course I did. Everyone here is proud of you, especially Addie." Shaking my head as we continued to walk forward, did he nick his head. 
He knew I needed a breather. 

"Sure you're alright?"
"Yeah, jet lag. Haven't really slept in—"
"Shit...Yeah, guess having it right when you get back isn't the greatest idea." He admitted, to be fair it was everyone's ideas. And both the army and police station have been informed of their given location, it was nice to see these families come back. 
Especially Denise to come with Molly, and the Leblanc family to have their boys over. And to make matters even better, Roxy Leblanc is pregnant with twins. So there will be a whole lot of these dinner parties to be had. 

"Kids are havin' fun...Come, it ain't just the jet lag. What's up?"
"I enjoyed myself, god...I loved every second it, but I can't be gone for six months on missions." He chuckled, swaying his foot to and for as he was getting drunker by the second. 

"Agent Blake comin' in for the kill."
"Not an assassin."
"Look, this opportunity comes once in a damn lifetime. Ya know all those people would look after her, hell I'll do it. You took the offer and know that bein' on call means leavin' on odd hours...Everyone at work's still shocked ya comin' back."


***

The given years past now, and the only time I was ever called was for a couple one month long projects, nothing completely major. I did, however, complete a small field that I was determined to master. And that's the art of coding, no longer does the I.T guy have to come to our police station to fix any problems. 
I handle those now.

As of this moment, I was silently typing away at my computer. My tight skirt riding up far too much for my liking, but everything else was dirty. Guess my spilled cup of coffee this morning as I was late to put Addie on the bus just signifies what today is going to be like. 

My lab coat I was so heavy mocked on all the time finally came around to save me this time around. Making my outfit someone complete to the doctorate degree standard. 

"Oh boy, look at you! Taking that whole title serious huh?" I shook my head at Shane's unknowingly determined method of trying to surprise me, but I had an appoint with a case downstairs in a few minutes. He's being detained for starting a fight, holding drugs and countless other chargers. 

What an exciting way to start the day. 

"Not going to be miss anymore."
"Nah, gonna start callin' you Doc from now on." Rolling my eyes did he follow me out, walking me to my destination. I knew what this was, ever so often would he ask me to go to dinner, see a movie, take Addie somewhere.

And it was always the same tilted look and level of a glare that had him back off the smallest bit. 
Rick's warned me time and time again of what the two of them talk about when I'm not around, or even in the state. It worries me that our friendship is just built on him liking me. And nothing more than that. I love Shane, as much as I love Rick, Carl, and Lori. But him refusing the tickets from Disney land as a way of saying my 'thank you' for watching Addie until my Quantico training was done worried me to the point of disbelief.

I took Mickey instead, swapping out the tickets both airfare and entry. The pictures used to lay on my desk, but I took them away when I caught Shane looking at them. "Comeon, can take you and Addie for some pizza? Stay in watch a movie?"
"Yeah? When? In between classes?...How about coffee, right after this?" He nodded, quickly I might add. And strangely enough I complied with a smile and a small amount of pressure on the door before me, allowing the sudden view of the person in question.
And I stumbled on in.

Clearing my throat did the man seem to shake his head, clearly drunk.
Wasted even.

So taking the second to get him water from the plastic dispenser right beside him did I place it before him, before plopping down my folder. 
Never thought I'd see the day.

"Ya a doc? Ain't no cop are ya?" Looking up did he not seem to recognize me just yet. Then again, it's been a good five years or something of the sort. Guess the last time I saw him was at the house, before I bought it...

"Dixon...Charged with, assault of a police officer, speeding, possibly of narcotic possess...Should I keep going?" I asked, but he just chuckled. Still not bothering to open his eyes in spite of what he would be surprised to see.

Until he finally looked up... 

...And he began to laugh, louder than normal. 
"Guess I'm in king's county now? Huh...Boy did I score lucky today...shit...Got a lab coat and everythin'. Ya a cop?" I shook my head, my hands still covering my mouth as they were intertwined. Beginning to open his final did I read his given sentence. 
Already planning his trail.

"Whatcha—" My eyes glared up at him, the number of times I've done this before, person before me begging and pleading. But this was a special case, they just can't know anything. "B-blake...Ya can't send me to jail...Ain't I the uncle of ya kid?"
"You were also gone for a couple years, mind tellin' me where you went?" I threw an oddball question, with the power in my hands did I ask. And with an odd shift of his body did he too take the metal chain out of his shirt, presenting dog-tags. 

"Bet it's in there...Boy, was I not good at followin' directions." Skimming down, did I see him being discharged from the army. Punching an officer sounds about right. So I closed his folder.

"Think I can build a case for you, but Dixon...I can't do this all the time, you—"
"Yeah, yeah yeah...I gotchu...How's Addie? She doin' aight?" I smiled when he asked me questions about my little girl, so my pen no longer in hand did I reach for my wallet. Taking out the picture I put in there last week, evidently, he took it in his hand. 
But them being caught in the bindings of the handcuff felt odd.

"He doing okay?" I asked, honestly. "Ya the one that broke his heart, shouldn't care anymore sweetheart. But yeah, guess he's doin' aight."
"I ask because it's the same response...You don't show up for your court date, I'm coming to the house to pick you up." 

His chuckle rang through, even after I rose from my seat and his file in hand. Having to write a serious report on how's he's qualified for being discharged from the army, the stress still giving him this lifestyle or whatever sort of bullshit I can sweep under the rug.

"Thanks darlin'...I mean it." I nod, removing myself from the room and reading the rest of his files. Looks like his brothers is in here too. Stopping in the middle of the hallway did I see the date...

03-25-1998

The picture shown of him was exactly how I remember him as, but the sound of feet and the gentle call of my name. Or nickname sounded out. "Thought Shane was kiddin' when you said you're wearing that today."
"Had a bad morning," I said, holding the folder within the wing of my hand as I rub my temples.

This is going to be a never-ending day. 
"Well come on, you have your break now. Why don't we all get somethin' downtown?" I held my chuckle, no doubt that Shane had told him of the coffee 'date' and now good old Rickey's coming for the save.

I know everything is confident, and with that. Rick too knows that I keep everything a secret, as does he. I just don't feel that way about Shane, if I did. Something would've sparked years ago. And I wouldn't be hiding Addie's father's records in my possession.

Or holding Merle in custody. 

Telling them both I'm going to drop everything off and get my jacket before heading out. With it over my shoulders and wallet now in hand, did Shane point directly at it. Shaking my head did I push in my chair and save my last document before closing the door to my office. Following them both as they effortlessly walked through the front door straight to their car.

But nothing in my right mind could have prepared me for what gaze I felt on me now, Merle had gotten a ride from his brother. Having the truck's rusty pivot continue forward before it exited as well. Shane had something nasty to say about the truck, but I stared at it with all my intentions in saying something too. 
But I was caught under the crossfire of remembering everything that happened in that damn truck.

*


Pulling my jacket over my shoulders and holding the folder within my wing did I look aimlessly for my phone. Needing to text Lori that I'll be home in a little bit, but even then she claimed that I should take my time. 

The trail went a little longer than expected, but I wanted to wait a bit longer for my main subject. "Oh come here sweetheart!" He proclaimed, fighting me to get a hug. Laughing at the sheer embarrassment as there was no one in the hallway like I predicted there to be.
"How can I repay ya? Addie want anythin'?" Nicking my head, did I promise to give him a ride home. So I he followed in pursuit, thinking long and hard of what she wanted last from 'uncle Merle' "She's been bugging me to make the stew again, think you can—"

"Hell yeah, get right on it. Thanks 'gain sugar tits." He winked, and as I was about to remind him I was driving him. 
He said his brother's waiting out back. 
"If ya show ya face, bet he'd fall over dead. Comeon. It'd make my day even better." Shaking my head once again did he shrug once more. But he confirmed his intentions of getting the meat for the stew. 
I just had to run over and get Addie. It is already seven o'clock I realized that they probably ate dinner already. Chinese and t.v for me tonight. The one day I can relax with nothing on my plate.

*

"She's gonna call, ask how it went." I shook my head once more. Completely denying the fact that Rick had told Lori about my 'date' or '5th date.' I wanted it to be a secret, but Addie told Rick. And he told her, and now the whole triangle knows.

Shane, thankfully. Found a girlfriend last month as well. But I believe one hundred and twenty percent that he did it to try and make me jealous. No doubt about that, but the heat truly rose when I remember Jules—

I groaned, looking at the caller I.D being the Grimes residence. Shaking my head the entire time to him. Did I finally answer the phone on the fourth ring. "Goodmorning, this is Dr.Holden, how can I help you?" And in the instant did Lori go completely off on me, claiming to be cleaning the house like a mad woman because she wants me to come over after work to discuss what is going on. 

It was a harmless date, some flirting. Nothing more, and to be fair I don't see this going anywhere. He hasn't even met Addie and it wasn't something I should be forced into telling her. So when I claimed that I needed to get something done, and I'd call her on my break. She confirmed what time it may be, and she'd call me.
"I fucking—"
"Easy, easy. She was bound to find out sooner or later, Zack can't be that bad."
"No. He's not. I think she's more into it than I am to be honest." I sighed, trying to the act the part of a dead fiancee.

And at one point or another, it just stuck. Telling myself the lie finally came about to being a genuine feeling, whenever Addie mentions 'where's daddy?' It's the same story to erupt without question. Without even a blink of hesitation.

Guess it would be hard lying to a significant other when he asks as well...Building a relationship on a large lie like this? Even when he has no clue who Addie is at the moment, it's just a massive train wreck. 

"Come on doc, you're fine. Little backbone won't kill you."
"I am a certified FBI agent, do not tell me that I don't have a damn backbone." He chuckled, the honesty in his eyes as he took a seat and closed the door.  The sudden rubbing on his eyes with two fingers had me close my booklet and look directly to him. 

"Are you alright?" I referred the question back towards him, realizing that he came for another reason rather than to tease me. "Had a fight with her this morning, probably why she...she..." He tried to continue but couldn't, instead, he managed the given few words and stumbled by the last bit.

"We didn't have a great night..." I sighed, relatively angered by the face that Lori angered Rick in this. Always. It was always something on her end. So I pressed forward, and he smirked knowing where I was going. "You can tell me, not like I'd even want to talk to her now..."

"She always wants me to speak...The thing is...I try...Everything I say makes her impatient. Like she really didn't want me to speak. She's pissed at me all the time and I don't know why." 
I offered my signature smile, taking off my glasses and putting them at the middle hem of my shirt. Folding my hands to intertwine like I was taught to do. To give the patient something else to think about for a moment while I muster up something. "What sparked this conversation? Something triggered it."

"The thing is, what she said this mornin'...Still got me riled up. 'sometimes I wonder if you ever care about us at all.' How...How'd you feel goin' to school with that in you're head." I shook my head, completely taken back by what she had said to Rick. 
He's a good man. Honest to everything in the book. 

And the nerve she pulled to handle that suddenly slipped her down the drain once more. I felt odd about her when they were getting married, and even now does it still feel like the bad taste in my mouth as it did then. "Carl knows differently. Look at me, never home...When I am? I'm still working, having classes?"

"Yeah, but Lori compares you to me all the damn time. Gettin' sick of it."

"How's that?" 
Why was I the comparable one? And how did I manage to be the main focus of attention in this argument, even that just sent shivers up my spin and around.
"Just a cop in king's county. Got the doc badge and everythin'... I just...Ain't made of money." 

"I'm a single mom trying to do what's right, there isn't a slight comparison here Rick. Not one bit, you let this bug you, it's going to stay...And right now, I think you have a job to do." I pointed because Shane was about to knock at the door, hat already on his head awaiting his partner. 


"Comeon doc, live a little. We're gonna get some burgers durin' lunch today, wanna join?" I shook my head, holding the metal box of insight I have to type up. And they both nodded, Rick too mumbled a 'thanks'. But I could've helped with a bit more time on the clock. 

It was hours later, a quick coffee break and I was finally done. Can finally relax and catch up with a lesson plan I need to prepare. Guess New Haven wants me to return. Again.

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Date Posted: 6-02-18  // Time: 10:48
Word-Count: 4217
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Author's Note:
The next chapter is my first dabble in Third Person Point of View, this is the last chapter before it switches to the apocalypse! You can find it on my profile/my reading lists!
-I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did while writing this :)