Life is rough. I've had many events in my life prove that to me, but the day Jonah walked in my room and told me that he had almost witnessed his best friend's death still haunts me. I had rarely seen my brother cry aside from the days after Mom left. But that day... he walked so quietly into my room that I yelled at him for trying to scare me. And then he cried, and I hugged him, unsure of what to do. He told me what happened with Travis. He told me he cared about me and that if I ever did anything stupid like that then I'd have to answer to him. That was the moment I knew my brother was my best friend in this life.

****

I have been back in this kid's life for barely a week and I'm already ruining everything. Even in class, I haven't been able to bring myself to talk to him this week. I guess I decided to bring a more sophisticated way of communicating in the picture.

"I am so sorry," I apologize as we make our way into my dorm. Lanie and Clay are on either side of me holding my arms. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You're drunk," Clay says blankly. He kicks the door shut behind us and they sit me down on my desk chair.

I shake my head in denial. "I only had like five Jell-O shots."

Lanie kneels down in front of me, concern in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! I promise. I wasn't planning this," I argue, suppressing a hiccup.

"She's known for loading those things with alcohol. She doesn't measure it or anything, just dumps it in and hopes for the best," Clay informs us from his spot at the window. He's probably looking out at the parking lot now.

"Okaaay... I had a few more than five. It's fine. I'm fine. You're fine. Well, actually, Lanie, you might now be fine."

She narrows her eyes at me. "Why?"

"Because you didn't have any fun!"

Lanie looks away from me and bites down on her lip as if she's contemplating something. She suddenly gets up and walks into the bathroom. I catch Clay watching her walk away and raise an eyebrow.

"You two got something going on?" I ask point blank.

Clay does not look amused. "We're friends. And I can't let people like you get her in trouble."

"Trouble? What trouble?"

"We had to get you out of there before the cops came. It was too rowdy – someone called the cops, so Lanie called me to get her out of there. And you. You should be thanking her."

This is not the Clay I remember from middle school. He was way more fun and less... parent-y.

"Don't tell me what to do," I mumble. "Ya know, we were friends once, too."

Clay rolls his eyes. "I'm sure we were."

"We were," I assure him. "Why don't you believe me?"

He shoves a water in my face. "Here. You need to drink this." He looks towards the bathroom and makes his ways towards Lanie.

"Hey, when you two are done with whatever this is, give me a call!" I take a long gulp of the water bottle clay handed me and set it on my desk before I climb onto my bed, resting on my back.

"Jordan, you need sleep or something." I hear Lanie say.

"Clay totally likes you, Lane," I babble. "Just don't be a prude. Those are no fun."

Lanie walks out of the bathroom then, her eyes filled with hurt. For some reason I don't have it in me to regret anything. Clay comes out and looks between Lanie and me before he heads for the door.

"Text me if you need me." And then he's gone.

Shortly after, I am too.

**

My head and stomach hurt. Those are the first thoughts in my head as my eyes open. I can see Lanie sitting at her desk with her laptop illuminating her face. The sun has gone down outside, but I don't know what time it is.

Slowly, I push myself off my bed. I land uncomfortably on my ankle and decide that awkwardly high beds are not my friend. I shuffle across the linoleum floors and into the bathroom. My reflection is what really makes me wake up.

My hair was once in braids but is now hidden under the frizz most likely from today's events. My makeup looks like it was mixed with sweat judging by the awful smudges under my eyes. I hope I didn't make a fool of myself. It was never the plan...

"Lanie?" I call as I begin taking out my braids and brushing out my hair. "What time is it?"

No answer. I finish brushing my hair out and pull it up on top of my head until I can take a shower. I peek around the door to see Lanie still sitting at her desk, but this time I notice the headphones in her ears. I walk over to her and tap her shoulder lightly.

"Lanie? Everything okay?"

She peers up at me through her eyelashes, pulling one earbud out partially. "Nothing's wrong, Jordan." She plops her earbud back in her. Her computer displays that the time is seven.

And then it hits me. I remember everything that just happened before my little hibernation.

"Lanie, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know you guys could get so offended by what I did."

Lanie spins around and pulls her headphones out. "Offended?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to get that crazy. You didn't have to call your little buddy who, by the way, is not someone you want to be friends with." I turn to head back into the bathroom. I need to get the raccoon vibe off my face.

Lanie follows me in the room. "Clay is good person. How do you know him?"

I make sure my face doesn't give away anything by taking a makeup wipe over my eyes. "I just do. Anyway, I didn't need his help." I turn to look her dead in the eyes. "Or yours, for that matter. I can handle myself."

She crosses her arms over her chest and looks away from me, pressing her lips into a thin line. "You could barely walk a straight line."

"I was having fun."

"Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't matter. I have homework to do now." She walks away and I hear her plop down into her chair again.

I look in the mirror and look at my now red face. Maybe I was being harsh. I'm slightly embarrassed that I behaved that way after I'd gone so long with not getting myself into trouble. If Clay was right and the cops really were there, maybe they did keep me from getting in trouble.

But I can't just let her tell me I needed help. I help myself – that's how it's always been.

I grab some fresh, comfortable clothes to put on and slam the door behind me. I turn on the shower until its steaming with hot water and jump in, making sure to take my time.

Twenty minutes goes by while I'm in the shower. I come out with my dirty clothes and toss them in the basket under my bed to be washed later. With my towel wrapped around my hair and sitting on top of my head, I jump onto my bed and pull my laptop up. It doesn't take long before an incoming FaceTime pops up, and the name on the screen changes my entire mood.

I don't hesitate to press the answer button, a grin etched onto my face. "Jonah!" I exclaim. I quickly grab my headphones and plug them into my laptop so Lanie doesn't have to hear what he'll have to say about her once I let him in on my current situation. Jonah might tell me I'm being a brat, but at least he listens. He's the best friend I've ever had.

His face finally appears on my screen. His face is slightly scruffy from not shaving and his hair looks like it's growing out more than his usual buzz. His smile still looks the same, and that's all that matters to me.

"Hey." He waves to me. His movements are only a little behind, which is better compared to the usual lagging connection. "What's up, brat?"

I roll my eyes. "Nothing much, what are you doing?" As if planned, a couple guys walk behind him laughing at something. He glances behind him and acknowledges them with a wave and a smile. It looks like he's in some sort of garage looking thing, which is as much of a clue that I have as to where he's at on Earth.

"Had some downtime for once and thought I'd call you. Did you just take a shower?"

I realize my towel is on my head and I pull it off, letting my wet hair fall down around my face. "Sorry you had to see that."

He laughs. "I've seen you in worse shape. How's school been? Make any friends?"

I glance at Lanie for a quick second. "Something like that. You know how it is."

"I know how it is for you, hard-head. Go make some friends. You'll need them."

"Oh, what do you know?" I say jokingly.

"About the real world and needing friends to get through stuff? A lot." Of course he has to be right.

"You just like to say you do. The only friend you really kept around was Travis."

"He was the only one I needed."

"Anyway..." I say in order to change the subject. Now it's time to start talking about what I really need to tell him. "I need to ask you something."

He leans in closer to the screen, probably so he can hear me better. "What's up? Something wrong?"

I shake my head. "No. I just... I was wondering..."

"Today, Junior." Jonah beams at me after quoting one of our favorite movies, Billy Madison.

Even that doesn't take away the anxiety I feel for bringing this up. It's a subject I hate talking about with him. "What would you think about me contacting Mom?"

I don't want to come right out and say that I've already been talking to her. That might end worse. Jonah doesn't answer me for a few minutes. He lowers his head, probably thinking of ways to say, "Absolutely not."

He lifts his head back up, displaying an expression that I can't read. "I don't think it's a good idea. At all."

I've had this argument ready for the last six months. "Even after all this time, you still don't think she's worthy of forgiveness?"

He sighs heavily. "Jordan, I didn't really want to spend this time arguing with you."

"If you weren't so stubborn about everything maybe we wouldn't be fighting."

"Me? Stubborn? You're a good one to talk."

I throw my hands up in the air. "I don't need this now either, just so you know."

"You started it." He shrugs his shoulders and lean back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. I know what he's thinking: we're done talking about this. News flash for him: no we're not!

"You can't just give her a chance, can you? Well, guess what?" I realize I'm shouting when I see Lanie reaching for her phone and aggravatedly jamming the volume button up. I lower my voice a little. "I've already been talking to her."

It takes a minute for him to realize what I said. He leans up from his comfortable position and stares at the screen blankly, probably searching for the right words to say in order for this conversation not to turn into World War III.

"Since when?" He raises an eyebrow, not yet to show much emotion. "Why?" There it is. Disappointment.

I refuse to let him stop me from making my own decisions. "We talk all the time. She asks me about school, life, and just everything. She misses you. She misses us." My voice is barely above a whisper now yet begging for him to hear me.

He shakes his head slowly. Or maybe that's the lagging of the connection. "I don't want to argue with you about this right now."

"When is the right time, Jonah? You always say that we'll talk about later or when the time is right."

"I'm on the other side of the world and this seems like the right time to you?" The annoyance in his voice grows stronger with each word.

"The present is better than never."

"Jordan, I-" His words are cut off by a big commotion going on around him. People are running to the left of the screen, Jonah's head following their movement. Where are they going? A loud noise sounds off and I hear people yelling. Jonah jumps out of his seat and stops a guy who was heading in the direction of everyone else.

They're too far away to hear through all the other noise now filling my headphones.

"Jonah?" I say, hoping he'll look at me and tell me it's okay. Everything is okay.

He glances at the screen, a look of pure worry mixed with a strong sense of duty, like he knows what has to be done. My heart falls to the pit of my stomach as I pull my laptop closer to me. I search the screen for any clues as to what could be going on.

"Jonah!" I don't mean to shout, but it just comes out.

He steps towards the screen again, reaching for me. It's blurry and starting to glitch now, making him look disfigured. I see his hand right in front of the screen. Is he going to pull me into a room and explain what's happening?

The last thing I expect to happen just... happens. Just like that, he's gone.

The screen goes black.

___________________

The song is Bruises by Lewis Capaldi!

This was a sad chapter to write. What do you predict will happen?

READ BELOW! Thanks :)
So, I've been thinking. I've been reading a lot of books and I want to recommend some! They are mostly young adult books that have completely stolen my heart! Would you like me to recommend some in the ends of my chapters?

Also, I would like to share some of my bible journaling as well! It is something I try to do everyday, and sometimes I find stuff that I just wanna shout to the world. I could post pics and some of my journal entries if you'd like!

Let me know what you think ❤️
- Haley

Also, MAJOR respect to those fighting for us overseas. God Bless you and your families!