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Part I - Planning
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I wasn't planning to die
It just happened
I mean I knew, eventually.
But not now.
Now I know it doesn't matter.
But it did matter
Right up until the end.
Everything mattered.
Everything needed to be taken care of.
Now everything is on its own
So I hope you take care of what you must
And that it takes care of you.
And if I were you I know I would be sad.
But I can't be sad any more.
So please, don't spend any time being sad
Beyond what you can bear
Because you need more than sadness
And it is yours already
So be sure to own it.

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Part 2 - Only Now
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He died seven days ago
But it wasn't official until now
Not until I signed my name to it
I held the pen in my hand for time beyond my measure
Looking at the names written in the attendance book before mine
I felt pressure of a hundred guests queuing behind me
Waiting to sign the guestbook
But there was no-one there
I stared at the page
Reading the names written there
But I came early and there were few
And then I did it
I signed the funeral home guest book
And became a witness
And now my friend is dead.

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Part 3 - Two Years Later.
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How long are you supposed to wait before you delete them from your phone contacts? You know they can't call you any more, and if someone did call from that number it would be nothing but creepy. Is right after the funeral a good time?

When you delete the contact, should you also delete the texts? If you don't, they'll be there with just a phone number and you might forget who they were with. Until you read them. Maybe you should delete the texts first. But then you know they can't be replaced.

What about the emails? They can stay forever. But maybe... maybe they should be deleted. Or maybe just the personal ones, the work ones might should need by kept because... because something. But deleting the personal ones seems pretty cold. File them. Should I have a file for that?

Maybe I shouldn't really do anything at all. Maybe this is just a thing that happened. And there's nothing I can do about it.