Confession-  My words get reckless when i'm extremely mad. So, yeah. And i don't mess with people interrupting my sleep

September 25 2016
***Same day****

I thought i loved my family but, i don't. Ok. So i'm in the middle. I want to hate them but, again love them too. So, right now my mother is putting all of the dishes in her room. Its because we didn't wash the dishes. So, she washed the dishes and took all of the dishes and put it in her room. So, we have to ask to eat. I really think the real reason why she is putting all of the dishes in the room is because acittuan and her was arguing. Mom was saying me and her dirtied up the dishes and acittuan kept saying No, that we didn't and that we wasn't the only ones dirtying up the dishes. I didn't say anything. Ok, I did. I said that i'll wash them and i was trying to tell acittuan to stop arguing back because i doesn't matter anymore cause i was washing the dishes. She didn't stop though. So they continued arguing and i got up to do the dishes but, my mom got angry and to me to don't do the dishes. She said she was going to throw all of the dishes away. My thought----
I don't care, you're the only one that's losing something.  You paid for them but , another thought was------
How we going to eat!!!! We didn't even go food shopping yet. This whole weekend we ate sausage. Ugh...I don't care though. I will always love my mother unconditionally but, i dislike her. I don't recognize her no more. She drinks she smokes like all the time . i don't know what going on with my family...