P.T.M Meeting.

"I'm glad to tell you, Mrs Hussain, that your daughter Zukroof hasn't given us any trouble this year. Alhamdulillah for that", my teacher Miss Farisa said smiling formally only for a good couple of seconds.

"But, to my surprise, this time she is not up to the mark!", She said furrowing her eyebrows at me. My mother shot me a look as if I failed. 

I knew I worked hard. I knew this for sure that I didn't fail. "Um, what makes you say so?", inquired.

"Miss Sapphire house captain, I guess your work is being a distraction to your studies. You never scored below 95%, but this time", she said keeping a hand near her temples. My breath was hitching in my throat.

"Wh-wh-at-t  ha-happ-ppen th-this-ss time?" 

"You are at 90%, Miss Hussain, You know that it would just be at A2 and not A1? you're a bright student Zukroof, this is your cumulative percentage of the first term and mid-term. You have your pre-finals next then boards, do you see how serious it is getting? I want improvement next time!", She said handing my report card to my mother.

Okay. So this was my cumulative percentage. I breathed relief. I knew I didn't do well in the first term but I did the best of the best in the second term. I thanked god. Alhumdulilah at least I didn't fail. I knew it would go low because of my school work I had to deal with so many Inter-House competitions and Inter-School competitions.

"Um yeah sure Ma'am, I'll pass with 10.0 In sha Allah", I assured her as I sealed my lips in a tight smile. 

"By the way, which college and stream and you are looking forward to taking for after graduation?", she asked me.

"Uhm, I guess---",

"She will be attending High school in Kuwait", said my mum interrupting me

Okay, this was brand new information. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was bewildered and every other word that comes as a synonym to the word shock. I was staring at my mother simply. Why didn't she tell me before bombarding it here?

Patience Zukroof! Patience!

"Oh, that's nice, I wish you all the best for your future endeavors", My teacher wished.

As soon as my mum ended her meeting. I nudged her, "Mumma, what's is this? You didn't tell me about sending me to Kuwait? When did all this happen?" I asked in exasperation.

It was just yesterday when I and my friends were planning on taking in the same colleges. We hadn't yet come to a conclusion of which stream we wanted to take but we wanted to stay together even after graduation. I didn't know how I would be breaking this news to my friends now. 

"We all are shifting to Kuwait forever after your graduation. Zuki, It's time that we move on with your dad for your higher studies. The environment here in India is getting worse day by day and, I can't obviously look after you and your sister together all by myself. There's a point in both of your lives when your father's surveillance is needed", she said, walking down the stairs with me.

I suddenly felt like all my saliva dried up. Suddenly I felt so tongue-tied and thirsty. "I...I completely understand that Mumma, but is this how you both plan all of a sudden? My high school, my career, my opinion is not considered?"

"Who said your opinion is not considered? You come home, we will talk about it", she said as I dropped her till the entrance.

I knew what her 'we will talk'  meant. She would just take whatever I would say and put her on motherly logic in response along with a pinch of emotional blackmail to taste and toss my opinion into the garbage. I was actually pissed. Obviously, I loved Kuwait. I used to pay visits during holidays but...shifting there completely? leaving my friends? It's gonna be harder than I imagine. 

"Hey Zukroof, can you meet me in the art room, please? I had to give you the names of the shortlisted winners of the competitions to be announced tomorrow morning in the assembly. Get Huda and Aisha with you, I'll bring Yazan and Talha", said Nouman while I was on my way.

"Yeah sure," I gave him a tight smile in response. As I walked towards my class with heavy steps I realized, I'd probably never be able to see Nouman again after graduation. This realization hit me like a truck. How will I face my friends now?

In Arts Room

Nouman gave me a huge pile of papers with the shortlisted names. We both were sitting facing each other while Talha and Aisha doing the other houses. Yazan was preparing his speech and Huda was with the principal. Huda and Yazan broke up last night. I was actually curious to know the reason after the conversation I and Yazan had at the resort. Maybe that's why he was talking about love being fake and disguised.  I had questions, so many questions to ask him. I tried too but, either he would see the message and not reply or in person, we would get interrupted by someone. Huda was being mean to me for no reason and I guess, everyone in the group could easily say that. Noor informed me that Huda was suspicious about mine and Yazan's friendship. If only I had the nerve to say her in clear words that I wasn't interested in Yazan and that, I had feelings only for Nouman. 

Friends will be friends of course. 

After the picnic, when everyone uploaded our pictures on Facebook. I updated my profile picture and cover too. It had been ages since I changed.  I got some nice comments too and Nouman liked and commented on every picture of mine. Literally every single one of them. I couldn't help but blush. I could finally relate to the memes that talked about how one feels when their crush liked their pictures.

Noor uploaded one picture and tagged me that was when we were having Ice-cream and I had my shoulder around her which seemed like she was advertising her Ice-cream and I was just smiling at the camera. On that picture, Nouman commented, "My eyes got stuck on the girl in this picture" I laughed so hard. 

There was no way he could compliment Noor because Faisal would kill him already. So that meant he directed that comment towards me. I didn't know if he was trying to flirt or not but, it felt weird because it was my first experience with such a strange feeling. I was new to all these things happening within me. And no matter how much I denied, My friends were cent per cent sure that he was hitting on me. I was stuck on only one question, if he really was hitting on me then why wasn't he confessing it to me?

I was brought back to reality when Nouman clicked his fingers in front of me, "Zukroof, are you done?". I looked at the pile of papers," Not yet Nouman", I said as I looked up at him. My name never sounded any better.

"Alright, Aisha and Talha were called by Miss Rhino and Huda is still with principal working with her stuff, I've to go since my parents came for the meeting. Any problem you have please refer to Yazan okay?" He smiled at me. 

I smiled back in response. If nobody ever told you this, it is powerful and disastrous at the same time when your heart chooses someone unknowingly and makes them its resident. This guy was capable of making my heart flutter.  "Sure thing," I said as I saw him walk away and close the door behind him.

"You're so besotted by him!"  Yazan scoffed as he came and sat in front of me.

"Me? and besotted? I rolled my eyes. "What makes you think so?", I pretended to laugh whilst looking down at my papers avoiding his inquisitive eyes.

"Your eyes, your dark brown eyes clearly say it out aloud. 'I'm in love with Nouman'. The way they twinkle when you look at him and then you control yourself not to look obvious. The way your heart beats as if your heart is in some drum-roll competition, the way he says your name and you think there's no one who could make it sound any better. It can't go unnoticed simply", he said as he folded his arms over his chest and gave his signature smirk. 

I glared at him in disbelief.

"So what? What does it have to do with you? If I am in love with him or not? and my goodness, how much are you obsessed with me?", it was my turn to smirk.

He laughed at the latter statement. "Woah! Hands up lady! I was just asking"

I sighed as I shook my head at him. 

"He likes you too," he said in a low tone putting extra emphasis on the word "likes"

I paused whatever I was doing as I looked up at him. I guess he was a master in reading my eyes.

"Zukroof, just be careful okay? I'm saying you this because you're my friend and I care for you, I really do. I want to know why do you like Nouman so much. I am not saying this out of jealousy or something. I am afraid. I.. I don't want your heart to be broken and you be shattered all to yourself. You and your heart are fragile. You may pretend to be the strongest woman alive but, you don't know a little thing about this cruel world Zukroof and I want to protect you. I wish I could keep you in an armor through which nothing goes and you'd be safe from all the harms of the world and the entire universe. I want to be there for you. You and your friendship means a lot to me than you'll ever know", he said taking a deep breathe in and out.

I listened to him silently. I could read his eyes. He was, in no doubt saying the truth. I could never understand this guy. At one moment he messes around with me and the next he is this sweet friend of mine. But, my questions were left unanswered.

I kept my pen aside and looked at him, "Why Yazan? Why?", I folded my hands over my chest.
"Why do you have to care about me so much? I know you're my friend but you don't know how it's going to be in future. Why do you want to save me? Why do you see me differently then no one has ever seen? No one could tell if I am in love with Nouman or not? How could you? Why do you have to say me all this stuff that goes above my head? you're just frustrating me Yazan! Tell me why?"

"Because... Zukroof.." he paused as he raked his hair up his forehead.

"Because...what?", I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Zukroof, Teacher is calling you upstairs. C'mon! be quick!" Aisha slammed open the door and I turned to look at her.

I looked at him. He was looking at me too. I picked up my papers and left.

I hated meeting him these days. I hated him for this. And the way he was instructing me to be careful what does he mean? Why is he interfering in my life? What does it has to do with him if I date Nouman or not? 

I had concluded that day that I was beginning to hate him. 

Home. Bitter. Home

I was showing Nashra the pictures we took at Leonia. All of our crazy selfies and beauty of the epic resort.

"Hey show that picture, that one! there!" Nashra clicked on one of the photos, we were seeing on my laptop.

It came out to be one of the pictures Noor clicked at the fire lanterns sight. Where I and Yazan were sitting and I was laughing having my hand covering my mouth.

"This guy is cute. Who's he?", Nashra asked wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I was still angry at him. I lived by one rule. I don't blurt out my anger on anyone else other than the accused one so I was angry at him only. 

"No! He is not anything cute. He is a jerk. Yazan the jerk!", I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh," She said as if she wasn't convinced with what I just said. "The same guy whose house you go to study? you seem to be having fun with him here?", she asked as if to mock at the irony. 

"Yes. Yes, I did have fun but it was only during that time under the fire lanterns, OH MY GOD! Nash! The sight of those fire lanterns though.." I said as I clasped my hands and batting my eyelashes dreamily trying to change the topic of our conversation.

"How'd I know? I'm not the one who saw them!" she replied in a duh tone. "Zuki, isn't it great we are going to Kuwait forever? I am so excited about new friends, new school. Kuwait in itself is total love." she added seemingly excited.

"Oh yes! I forgot I had to talk to mum about it. I don't want to go...I don't want to.." I whined.

"Mumma is not at home. She went to granny's place to give them the update about our departure"

"GOD! Nashra, she told me we were going to talk about it. Is this how it's done? I know what she meant when she said she was going to talk. Since she is already determined to leave India, she will just try to convince me about how Kuwait is better for my future", I said as I rubbing my temples.

"Zuki, I understand but you know,  they'll try to convince you but won't get convinced by what you have to say so just accept it as soon as you can!"

"You know what? she didn't even talk to me about this plan. She didn't even let me know that we were going to be leaving and all of a sudden she shows up at school and said my teacher, 'She will be doing her High school in Kuwait'  What on earth Nashra?", I was half-yelling and half speaking to her in frustration.

"Tell me again? Why don't you want to go to Kuwait?", Mumma came in through the hallway, I guess she heard me yelling.

"I..I..um...I don't want to leave my friends. We planned college together and all of a sudden, this thing happens... I...I need time to think about studying in High school in Kuwait", I replied.

"Are you sure this is the only reason?" Her tone dripping in suspicion.

"Yes," I couldn't meet her eyes as I replied.

"Fine, so you need time to think? then you have time till you complete your board exams and get your results. Alright? We are not leaving just yet. It's me, I'm the one going Kuwait after your pre-finals. Just a month, for our visa issues. You guys will be staying with your granny", she said as she walked away into her room.

In my own dilemma

It was late around midnight while I lay awake re-reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseinic on my laptop, resting on my stomach down and my feet dangling up in the air. 

Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! so many messages started popping up on Facebook.

Yazan: Hey! ZUKKROOOOOOOF!!!!!!!!

Yazan: Der? Buddy??

Yazan: REPLYYYYY!!!!!!!

Yazan: I know you're online! c' mon reply!!!

I huffed in annoyance. Now suddenly he has all the time in the world to reply to me.

Me: Don't message me until you have an answer to all my questions!

Yazan: I know you're pissed with me. I'm sorry about that! it's just that whatever I said was just something I blurted out on the go. I don't know what happens to me, when I'm around you, I blurt out all the deep stuff out of my head. I'm sorry bud.

Me: Leave it to you to flirt with me even when I am raged with you. -_-

He replied with laughing emoticons. 

Yazan: Okay, do a deal? just forget what I said?  :) :)

Me: And why may I do that? :P

Yazan: Because I am your friend plus the fact that you can't resist not talking to a handsome hunk like me :P

Me: *facepalm* How can you be so full of yourself?

Yazan: LOL anyway what are your plans after graduation? Are your parents getting you married as well?

Me: I'm not sure...I'll be flying to Kuwait I guess... and Me getting married? excuse me? I guess you didn't realise it's me Zukroof, you're talking to. Is there anyone getting married or something?

Yazan: Oh! That's great! Even I'll be flying back to Riyadh most probably. Oh yes! I almost forgot it was Zukroof I was talking to and yes! Huda is going to get married.

Me: What? How come? With who? Is that why you guys broke up? Doesn't she want to complete her High school? I am sorry for bombarding with all these questions but I am just very curious at the moment! :O

Yazan: Yeah well, she told me the reason for breaking up with me was that her parents have fixed her with her cousin and she would continue her studies after marriage. 

I still couldn't understand why was she being rude to me when I had no role to play in her break up with Yazan.

Me: I see...What are you going to pursue after 10th? I mean what do you want to become?

Yazan: I.. I guess. I don't know. I have not yet figured it out. I'll do engineering maybe or join my father's restaurant business. What about you?

Me: Oh, nice. I hope I get to eat in your father's restaurant one day!  I'll be pursuing with Hotel Management. I'm confused between Hotel Management and Software Engineering actually. I want to earn and have enough money to buy as many chocolates as I want :D

Yazan: Yeah sure. You're always welcome Zuki, Hahaha Think Big! Zukroof! Think big! Think of buying a chocolate factory :P 

I laughed at his response then Nouman's message popped up.

Nouman: Hi! Awake at this time? Insomniac much? :P

Me: Even you are awake, does that makes you an Insomniac too? :P

Nouman: Well, yes I am then :P  by the way you look beautiful in all your pictures.

PERIOD. 

Did he just call me beautiful or was I dreaming this conversation? He called me beautiful?.OMG! Am I okay? Am I dreaming? Did he just? I pinched myself and rubbed my eyes before reading the line again.

eeeep,  I squealed covering my face with my hands. It took me a whole few minutes to get back to normal and by the time he texted.

Nouman: Um, slept? 

Me: No, not at all, Are you kidding me?  I mean... me? and beautiful?  

Nouman: Why not? You're beautiful and pretty and smart and talented. You just don't know what you're worthy of.  If you care for yourself enough and dress properly, you'll stand out to be the most beautiful girl on earth.

I kept my hands on my mouth. I was blushing so hard. God, what on earth was he doing to me?  just like Yazan previously mentioned, my heart was beating as if it was on some drum roll competition.

Me: Thanks for such a huge compliment! It still isn't easy for me to believe what you just said.

Nouman: You deserve much more, Zukroof. 

Me: um .. Nouman...Can I ask you something? If you don't mind? 

Nouman: Yeah sure, go ahead.

Me: You know people at school are spreading rumors that you sort of...like me, I just wanted to know if that's true? 

Nouman: Yeah, what's true and false about that? I do like you, you are my friend, I like you.

Yeah right.

as a friend.

And what all I've been dreaming from the moment he liked my pictures. 

Me: Oh yes. Okay then, see you tomorrow, goodnight.

I texted and logged out before I could read his reply. I shut down my laptop and kept it on my table. I lied down on my bed and rested my head on my side pillow. I rolled over from side to side.

I punched my pillow in frustration. Firstly he told me I looked beautiful setting free all the animals caged in the Zoo of my stomach and then cages them back by saying 'I like you, as a friend'

 "OH GOD! Why?" I whined.

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