First-term completed as well as the second term. I beat Yazan in the second term but couldn't take pride in it because he was the one who helped me. And since there were not much 'studying' I needed to do at this time of the school, I stopped going to Yazan's place as well. 

He persistently asked me why I was not coming to his place if not for studying but just to hang out and I didn't know how to phrase my situation into good sentences such that he would be able to understand. I just ignored him. 

"It's going to be a long day today and it's our last picnic together this year then we will be in different corners of the world", said Khatija followed by a sigh.

"Yeah", I mumbled in a low tone realizing that today is all we have to make tomorrow worth remembering. Of course, we had days after this picnic got over but, this was our last outing together.

All of us were in our respective buses, one bus full of girls while the boys, undoubtedly, in a separate bus. We were, as told by our teachers, heading to a resort named Leonia. I had no idea about how this resort was so last night I and Noor googled to find out more about it. It happened to be a water-park-kind of a resort. So we packed our appropriate swimming clothes- not the revealing type, a body wash because taking a shower is a must after playing in the pool water and kept extra clothes for emergency purpose. In any circumstance, we all were absolutely ready to spend the best day of our last year together.

I was, as usual, sitting near the window seat on the back seats of the bus and actually lost in my own pool of thoughts. I paired a white over-sized tee with blue jeans, white converse, few matching bracelets to go with and blue hijab. I have always felt more comfortable in baggy clothes than in any skin-tight dresses. 

"You pull me aside when something ain't right, talk me with now and until the night, no need to pretend, you're a truu-uu-uu-ue friend" my idiotic friends were singing on our way.

I roll my eyes at this memory today. If only I knew that after graduating from school we wouldn't be the same.

"Girls, take your belongings carefully. Don't leave anything behind as we won't be getting back by the same bus", called out the teachers.

"Sure, thing! Ma'am", all the girls said in unison.

"We have almost reached our destination so hurry up and make a move alright?", she called out once again.

"YES MA'AM", all the girls shouted once again but this time with more enthusiasm.

"Woohooo! We are finally out for a whole day! No parents and just friends! WOW!! I'm ALREADY SO MUCH EXCITED!" Noor gushed. I didn't know if she was excited about spending time with Faisal or us. But given the strict rules of our school, I decided to go with the latter. 

We all popped our heads out of the window to see the beautiful entrance of the resort. It was absolutely marvellous. They kept up a big board in the entrance as a welcome to all the students who came for the picnic. We felt our adrenaline rush in our veins out of the excitement. 

As soon as we got down, the teachers started taking attendance to make sure every girl who paid for the trip came.

"There comes the boys' bus," said Zee.

"Losers as always," Khatija commented.

I was smiling so wide. It never left my lips. I put my sunglasses on and then we all started taking selfies. Feeling excited was an understatement. I was thrilled and it was just the start of the weekend getaway. 

Boys started forming their line and since all of us were wearing coloured dresses, boys and girls started checking out each other. Boys being cautious about their hairstyle, shoes and clothes. Whereas girls being cautious about their clothes, makeup and if they looked cute in their hijabs or not.

"Hey, the guys are checking us out, Man!" I whispered to my friends through my gritted teeth. I was feeling uneasy with some eyes on me. I followed the trail of their eyes. Going from one girl to other and one guy whispering something to the other guy and that guy turning around to look at that girl and smirk and giggle about god knows what boys talk about. I suddenly started feeling so cautious about myself. 

"So what, Man? You are not standing naked in front of them to feel so weird! and if they're checking you out that means, you have got a plus point girl!" Noor said wiggling her eyebrows and nudging my arm. I don't know why Noor phrased it like that and by any means, it did not make me feel better.  If boys were"checking me out"  that meant I looked good and if not I didn't? What in the world? I just faked a laugh on her absolute piece of nonsense as if I found it amusing.

It was quite hard to recognize the boys because of their clothes and their hairstyles. They have a casual look in the school and then all of a sudden they show up like they have to do a photoshoot here like some models endorsing for a brand. It seemed quite funny too. I saw Yazan decently dressed among the boys -- a white plain tee, a denim jacket paired with light blue jeans. Faisal was wearing shorts with a Superman tee which was gifted by Noor, Nouman was wearing a dark blue button-down shirt with a pair of white jeans.

I hate to admit It was hard for me to not notice how charming he looked. He was wearing my favourite colour, I couldn't help and admire a little long.

"Hey, guess what? Faisal is wearing the same colour combination as Noor and wait... what else do I see? Nouman and Zukroof having the same too. Did you guys plan this out?" Aisha asked with her eyebrow raised at me. 

I didn't notice that at first but when Aisha pointed it out it was hard for me to not blush and smile goofily.

"Uh-no no-no way! It's a mere coincidence. Nothing as such!" I shrugged trying to sound as normal as I could.

"But mine and Faisal's is planned." Noor interrupted

"Hey! you didn't notice one more thing. Actually, Zukroof's combination matches with both Yazan and Nouman it can't possibly mean they are matching colours to represent a bro-code or something" Khadija added as she laughed. 

I laughed along too to lighten up the conversation.

"Oh yeah, I just saw that!" Aisha commented later as we walked in together.

THE SWIMMING POOL 

Since we were going back the next day we had our personal rooms allotted. I and Zeenath got together because we were alphabetically in order of the pairs who got allotted one room each. It consisted of two beds, a bathroom, a mini-TV-set, a little fridge along with two small sofas near the tall glass windows and through that window was a beautiful pool view.

After the allotment, Noor, Aisha and Khadija exchanged partners. Noor & Aisha got in one room, Khadija was with another female but all our rooms were on the same floor. So by the end of the day, we could eventually get to meet each other. Huda didn't come since it was a weekend getaway picnic and because of that, her parents didn't allow. I wondered how my mum agreed to send me to this picnic in the first place and then I realised maybe she did because it was my last year.

We rested for a while after we were done admiring the amazing room. We jumped on the beds as well as if were toddlers.  There is some thrill in jumping on the hotel beds and you can't deny that.  I and Zee were actually singing songs like a rapid-fire round as we were jumping on the beds until we heard a knock. We both quickly rested our feet down and attended to the door.

"Your parents have been informed of your safe arrival here. Both of you are required to change in your appropriate nylon swimming clothes and meet us near the pool. Remember your clothes should be nylon only another material is not allowed!"  Miss Fatima instructed both of us.

"Alright!" we both said in unison and as soon as we closed the door. I and Zee clasped our hand together and squealed in excitement.

As we were instructed, we dressed and came to the pool. It had huge slides and rain dance with DJ playing music in the background. All the girls squealed and gushed in excitement as we stepped into the pool. We took the rides almost a thousand times enjoying at our fullest and then rain danced to the music. 

We were dancing according to the songs the DJ played. Some were Hindi, some were English. We actually lost our control and didn't mind teachers gaping at us as we danced to our beat. Everyone danced to their own songs. It was so much fun that we didn't want to get out of the pool.

But we had to.

I came out of the pool quite early than the other girls and went to shower. After removing my clothes I realized that I didn't get the clothes I had to change myself into, Stupid!   I peeped out of the door, it was a huge bathroom with separate sections for the shower. I was glad no one came yet. I wrapped my towel and quickly ran to where my bag was kept near the basin. I heard footsteps coming and I didn't want anyone seeing me wrapped in a towel so I quickly ran into one of the shower sections and as soon as I turned to shower, I saw the handle to turn the shower on was broken. I peeped again and there was still no sign of any girl. I quickly came out and then moved to other shower section and yet again there was no handle. "Shit!" I cursed under my breath and I came out again hoping and praying no one comes while I was naked and practically holding the towel for survival. In that fear, I dropped my clothes that I had to wear after the shower and just as I picked up my clothes, the door swung open and all the girls came rushing in.

"SEXY!" All the girls shouted in unison as they laughed and giggled at the sight before them.

My cheeks started to flush in embarrassment. I just wanted to hide inside one of the shower sections and be there for the rest of my life either that or I wished some hole appeared in the ground so that I could bury myself and rest in peace.

"OH MY GOODNESS! ZUKI! You look so damn hot! Let me take a picture of those red cheeks" Noor giggled and I had to remind myself why did I choose to be friends with her at first place.

"No, please! Everyone STOP!" I whined while everyone just laughed at my misery, I quickly ran into the shower, changed my clothes and came out slowly unlocking the door.

"Come, come, our next victoria secret model!"  Zee teased. 

"You just wait, I'll show you!" I said behind her back as she started running away from me. I joined her pace trying to run behind her. My wet hair was wrapped in a towel and as I was running it was getting loose. With one hand on my head, I was trying to catch her. I could hear her laughing while she ran and then she turned to the poolside. I ran as fast as I could and then I bumped into someone so hard we both fell on the opposite sides. I quickly got up, my wet hair came down as a mess as my towel fell on my hand 

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said and moved forward to look who it was

"I am s-so-sorry too. Didn't see you there" He smirked, still lying on the floor. 

Ï couldn't say anything in response. This was for the first time ever that I was seeing him shirtless. Water was dripping from hair to his chest. His towel hung around his neck wearing only shorts. 

"Eyes up here, Miss Hussain" He gestured towards his eyes as he got up.

I rolled my eyes in response. "Gosh! How can someone be so full of themselves?"

He laughed as he held up his hands as if to surrender. "Hey! you were the one gawking at me" 

"I wasn't" I shrugged. "I was just looking" I smiled smugly.

He didn't say anything instead just stood there for a moment and I guess for just a nanosecond or probably more our eyes held each other's gaze and then as if to break a spell He asked, "Having fun are you?"

"Yeah, very much!" I smiled.

"See you later then" he smiled back as he walked away. 

Under the fire lanterns

"Zoo, Zoo get up! Zoo..please get up!" I felt someone shaking me while I was asleep in the most comfortable and cosiest bed in the world.

"Zoo please get up or else I'll pour water on your face!" and just then I felt some water being splashed on my face and before even I could take my time to yell at whoever it was, Noor kept her hand on my mouth.

"NOOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GOD! WHAT IS THE TIME EVEN? WAS I SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME? DID WE MISS THE BUS? HOW WILL I GO HOME? MUMMA" I whisper-yelled to her as she handed me a towel. 

"shhh, I am sorry Zuki. We didn't miss the bus and it's just 11:30 in the night. I have to meet Faisal all the teachers are sleeping, we have to tiptoe till the backside of the cafe where everyone is launching fire lanterns. Please Zuki, PLEASE!" She joined her hands and knelt down in front of me as she begged. "I know you won't say no that's why I am asking you."

My weakness. When someone says please, I just can't deny.

"Um okay!" I yawned. 

"Thank you, you're the world's best bestest friend! I love you Zuki!" she enveloped me in a hug.

I laughed. "Stop buttering me. I already agreed to come with you!" 

Till the time she got ready, I slipped on my knee-length shorts and-and a grey over-sized hoodie to hide all my hair. By no means, I wanted to get caught by any of my teachers. I started to feel cold as I walked out of the bathroom. I pulled my sleeves to cover my hands and adjusted the hood over my head. I didn't feel the need to tie my hair so I kept it open. 

She knocked on the door slightly, "Zoo?" she whispered. I twisted the doorknob silently as I turned around to see Zeenath who was sleeping nicely. I had planned on asking her later on why she gave Noor our room's card.  I locked the door behind me and I walked with Noor. 

She was wearing a red and black maxi dress and she looked beautiful with her hair let down, I guess she was going to have a nice time with Faisal.

As planned, we went to the cafe and Noor dialled Faisal to ask where he was.

"He is not picking up Zuki!" she said seeming slightly disturbed by the tone of her voice. Before we could turn around to walk, from in between both of us, someone yelled "Booooo" and Yazan and Faisal started laughing.

"How lame of you guys! " I said as rolled my eyes.

"Says the one who is the queen of lame pranks," Yazan replied. 

I mimicked him "Shut up!"  

"You shut up!" He shot back. 

"No, you!" I pointed my finger at him and in return, he kept his finger above mine as if our fingers were two tiny swords. "No, you!" He twisted my finger with his

I struggled to set my finger free as our hands moved to and fro. To which Noor and Faisal just sighed. 

"You two continue, we will go and launch some fire lanterns in the meantime" Faisal added as he patted his hand on Yazan's back. I and Yazan drew our tiny swords back. Their eyes held so much of love towards each other as they held each other's hand and joined everyone else.

I stood there watching everyone holding hands. Girls blushing and boys holding them close, whispering something in each other's ears and laughing. It was actually so romantic. I had always seen in movies and read in books about how fire lanterns look flying amidst the vast black sky but, in all of my honesty, I was seeing something really captivating in front of my eyes. I didn't want to blink my eyes away.

"Bro! Come sit here, the sight from here is breathtaking!" Yazan called out for me, I turned to look at him as he patted the space beside him. He had his hands resting behind him on the grass where he sat with his legs stretched in front. I noticed then that he was wearing a black hoodie pulled over his head and black jeans.

"Sure thing!" I said as I sat down beside him. "Why are you disguised as a Ninja?" I added. I liked teasing him. 

He turned to me as he thought of his response. "Nah! Not a ninja man. I wore black because black is love, black is beautiful, black is pretty, black is mesmerizing just like..ummm.." He looked around to find something. "Just like your gorgeous black hair," He smirked as he concluded his statement.

"Such a flirt!" I shook my head. To which he just laughed. "By the way, my hair is not black. They look black because it's dark here" I added. 

"Okay, so what colour is your hair?" 

"It's um...It's dark brown, kind of chocolate or coffee brown" I said casually.

"Just like your piercing dark brown eyes?" He asked looking at me.

I shot him a look back. He threw his head back and laughed. "Wow, you are really not buying it" I smiled seeing him laugh. I could see the light of the fire lanterns reflecting in his eyes, it felt like little fireflies were flying in them. I could look at the fire lanterns through his eyes instead of ahead me but then threw that thought away from my mind as I looked away towards Noor and Faisal. Faisal whispered something into her ear and she blushed with her black and red dress, under the fire lanterns, she looked more than just beautiful when she blushed.

I smiled, "Aw, they're so cute!".

"Do you think they are really in love?" asked Yazan with a cocked eyebrow. 

"Um, yes, I think so, what makes you ask that?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"You are very innocent Zukroof, If you think people out there like these two" He pointed towards all the couples. "are in love, then you are wrong, Na-ah! This is not how I describe love to be, you know what? Even me and Huda aren't in love." He paused as he positioned his legs under him.

"Then, if this isn't what you call love then what is it? and what do you mean you and Huda aren't in love?" I asked him. This boy Yazan, the one who was sitting under the fire lanterns beside me seemed like a  different person than what I knew about him and I sort of wanted to explore more. He used to speak and a few and very calculated words as if to form some kind of a riddle leaving me to unravel them and I was always curious to know the answer instead of solving the puzzle because I was too dumb to be solving his sentences.

"This love, you see here..", he said pointing to the couples." they are not in love, they are obsessed, obsessed with the beauty they see in each other. They are in love with the perception they have made of each other. They disguise themselves in their best attire to impress each other but as time passes by, they realise that their partners are not the ones they disguised themselves to be. They are vulnerable and flawed in their own way. They are people hiding in their own disguise and by the time one of them realizes that the other is not the person they thought they would be, they are already amongst the ones who have fallen hard, so hard in the wells of this so-called love that they break their legs when they fall and they don't know or understand how to stand up and rise out of that well. Nobody can help you at that time, Nobody! you have to heal yourself and rise for yourself. You have to find a way out and get out of this selfish love. Which is not the actual love. They change the meaning of love and then people end up hating the actual love itself.

I didn't understand anything he said. I was just sitting silently when he took a deep breath in and out. I realised at that moment that taking deep breaths in and out was also one of his signature things to do like his smirk.

"Okay. I didn't understand a single word that you said just now but anyway, what do you think actual love is then?" I asked him.

"You know what Zukroof" He scoffed. "One has to fall in love to realise what actual love is." He said. "I don't think I can phrase this feeling of love in words until I feel what it is liked to be loved for real" He pointed towards his chest. "For who I am not for who I am supposed to be"

I nodded in response. This time I totally understood his perspective. 

"Tell me about yourself, Zukroof Hussain," He asked as I turned to face him. "Do you know what love is?"

My smile faltered. I looked at him then down at my hands and then I looked away. "I don't know" I shook my head. "I wish..." I trailed off.

"You wish you knew what it felt like right?" He phrased my thoughts in words.

I didn't look at him straight away because I couldn't longer take the intensity of his gaze. I just nodded. "Yeah. I do"

"I don't know how it feels to be that girl some guy looks at and thinks to himself that he just wants me to himself for the rest of his life" I added as I shrugged.

"That only happens in movies or the books you read so don't set the bar of expectations so high that any guy...ahem...me...won't be able to cross it"

I looked at him as I smiled involuntarily. This guy just won't stop. He laughed seeing my reaction. 

"You are such a jerk!" I commented.

"A jerk that you wish he fell in love with you!" He laughed as he rose to his feet and dusted his jeans. 

"Oh please. In your dreams Mister!" I replied as he lent me his hand for me to get up.

He considered me for a moment, I could still see the fire lanterns far away in the sky now looking like dim lights in his eyes. " Zukroof, you should be yourself much more than the girl you pretend to be"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. It felt like all the walls that I had built myself around me were suddenly broken down. As if Yazan saw a part of me that nobody knew. But how? I was just about to ask him what he meant when Faisal interrupted.

 "Bro! Sup?", He patted Yazan's shoulder as he came and stood beside him. 

"We are under the fire lanterns, dude! so they're up!" Yazan said sarcastically.

"I hope you guys had a great time! I, for sure, did" He winked at Noor. 

"Okay guys, see you tomorrow. Thank you Yazan for accompanying Fais", said Noor as she blushed.

Faisal called Noor in a corner to say something.  Yazan's eyes moved from them to me, he curled his lips inward as he pocketed his hands. "See you later then?"

I nodded, my lips pressed in a tight smile. 

"Take care" I added as I and Noor turned around to walk different paths than theirs. 

If only I knew that day that we may have walked different paths but those paths were only leading us towards each other.

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