All Too Well ~ Taylor Swift

Tasha sighed deeply as she opened her phone after it buzzed softly in her shorts pocket. She hasn't had service since they had left Italy, and as such she couldn't even contact Nate and Sam to see if they were alright. She had a feeling they had made it to Scotland, only because Rafe had become more bitchy towards everyone, and she would often hear him tell Nadine that his men should shoot them on sight.

'Tasha! Are you alright?! Get back to me ASAP.' ~ Nathan

Tasha glanced around her before stepping into an empty room of the old church and when she was sure she was alone she typed a quick reply back.

'I'm alive. Are you guys safe?'

A moment after her text was sent, she received another from the worried brother.

'we've been worried!'

'Sorry, no service, plus I haven't exactly been left to my own affairs.'

'So Rafe got you huh?'

Before she could type a reply her phone buzzed.

Incoming call.

"Nate, you shouldn't be calling me—"

"We just needed to be sure you're okay. There's a lot of shoreline men—"

"Please don't tell me you're here?" She frowned.

"Depends where here is." Sam replied, now the one holding the phone. "We found a hidden annex—"

"Don't tell me you idiot!" Tasha hisses into the phone. "I shouldn't even be talking to you!"

"Please don't tell me you're actually working with Rafe."

Tasha was silent for a moment as she tried to explain the situation. "Sam—"

"For fuck sakes, Tash! He broke your heart—"

"You weren't there! He... I don't need to explain myself to you!" She sighed. "Look, I'm glad you guys are ok, but I can't just leave—"

"Tash, c'mon. Rafe isn't going to change. He's a fucking psycho!"

"Well, fuck, Sam! What do you want me to do?! I love him and —"

"We just don't want you to get hurt." Nathan spoke from the other end.

"I'll be fine." Tasha sighed, turning to find Rafe leaning against the wall opposite her. He didn't seem mad, which she supposed was a good sign. "Just — you two be careful."

When Tasha hung up her phone she sighed. "Did you know they were here?"

"I suspected so." Rafe answered with a shrug. "I take it they aren't thrilled that we're partners?"

"I shouldn't be helping you..." Tasha laughed. "I mean, how many terrible things have you done to get this close to the treasure?"

"Hey, I tried being civil! I didn't even want to steal the cross."

"I know, I know! But — dammit, Rafe, why is finding this treasure so important that you'd risk everything?"

"I lost everything looking for it. When I find it, maybe it'll be worth it." He shrugged.

"Do you honestly think that?" Tasha asked with eyebrows raised. "You think that finding the treasure will make up for the horrible things youve done?"

"No, but it's a start. Don't you get it? Once we find it, things can finally go back to normal—"

"Normal?! There was never a normal for us, Rafe. All you wanted was to find the treasure. You didn't give a damn what you lost in the process." Tasha pulled her jacket on before tying her hair back. "Nathan mentioned a hidden annex, and I think I have an idea where it might be."

Rafe sighed, not happy she changed the subject but he'd much rather focus on work then the uneasy tension between them. "Alright, lets go."

"I can do this on my own."

"I told you, I'm not leaving." Rafe replied, unwavering.

"Is it because you don't trust me?"

"I trust you." Rafe rolled his eyes. "But you have a bit of a habit of getting yourself into trouble."

The two searched the cathedral in silence, Tasha's annoyance coming to light as she rummaged through the rubble that was left thanks to Shoreline.

"At this rate we won't find any fucking thing because it'll be exploded into bits!"

Rafe snorted at that, causing Tasha to raise her eyebrows at him. "It's not funny, Rafe."

"Seeing you so frustrated is quite hilarious, darling—"

"I'm not your darling!" Tasha snapped. "Quit — quit acting like nothing's changed! Everything has changed! You think because you can still charm me that I'll just act like you didn't break my heart?"

"Break your heart?!" Rafe laughed humourlessly. "You're the one who left!" Rafe yelled, glaring at her. "You left me!"

"Who told me to leave?!" Tasha replied, clenching her fists at her side. "All you cared about was finding that stupid treasure!"

"I cared about you! I loved you!"

"You loved me so much that you didn't even notice how depressed I was!" Tasha snapped back. "You don't know the hell i Faced every time you left me!"

"You didn't even say goodbye! You just disappeared!" Rafe yelled louder.

"YOU TOLD ME TO LEAVE!" She screamed in reply, her walls crumbling to the ground. "I — for fuck sakes, Rafe! I loved you so much that I lost everything trying to get you to pay one second of attention to me."

"Oh, please! I paid more than enough attention—"

"Seriously?! You were gone for three months! You hadn't even told me you loved me in four!" She laughed humourlessly as she shook her head. "The day you told me to leave, I had just got back from the doctor. I doubt you even remember me telling you I had gone. Before you got back, you hadn't picked up your phone in two days and you had just got back from Scotland... again."

"What are you talking about?" Rafe asked, slightly calmer than before as he saw the broken look on her face, the same look she had on her face the day she left him.

"I tried getting ahold of you. I texted you. I called you... I needed you. How many times did you hear your phone ring and as soon as you noticed it was me, you turned it off?"

"Tash—"

"I was pregnant." Tasha said bluntly, not looking at him.

Rafe's eyes were unmoving as he stared at her, a shred of pain on his face. "I saw the tests in the trash."

Tasha was caught off guard at that but quickly found her voice. "I was going to tell you the day you got back. I was excited, at first... I thought maybe it would make you pay attention to me... but you didn't come home. You kept delaying your arrival. Days became weeks... I hadn't seen you in nearly three months... you barely spoke a word to me. I couldn't even remember the last time you told me you loved me..."

Rafe was silent as he soaked in her words, listening intently as she slowly stepped towards him.

"I got really sick... it wasn't terrible at first but before I could do anything I passed out and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital. All I asked was for you but they said they couldn't reach you..." Her voice nearly broke as she recalled the horrible feeling when she realized how alone she was then.

"What... what happened—"

"What the fuck do you think happened?!" Tasha snapped, glaring at her former lover but she knew she could never hate him as hard as she'd try. "It died! Our fucking baby died! I lost our fucking baby... and you couldn't even give me the time of day to tell you... I felt so alone and you couldn't even take one moment to look at me... Instead you said I was being ridiculous, and told me to leave...

...So I did."

Tasha's words faded to silence as she began to sob, tears streaming down her face. She was shaking as she sobbed into her hands. If he would've just listened to her — if he would've been there... then maybe...

If he hadn't been obsessed with the treasure, then just maybe...

Maybe things would've been different.

Rafe slowly stepped towards her until he was close enough to kneel down in front of her. Tentatively, he reached his hands out, pulling her body against his in a tight embrace even as she struggled against him, hitting his chest until she had no energy, her body slumping against his as she cried.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Tasha..."

Tasha sobbed into his chest, words unable to be spoken from her lips as she cried and cried and cried. Rafe hummed gently to her after a few moments, his fingers rubbing circles into her back.

"You should drink..." Rafe spoke after a long while. Tasha's sobs had drastically calmed, but she hadn't said a single word. He reluctantly let her go, reaching into her backpack to grab the water bottle. He opened it, before holding it up to her lips. She wouldn't meet his gaze, so he gently lifted her chin. "C'mon, Tash."

She sighed, but opened her mouth, drinking the lukewarm liquid with a disgusted look on her face.

"I know you hate warm water but it's all we got. Sorry, princess." Rafe put the bottle back before resting his hands on her knees, trying to gauge her emotional state. His gaze was soft — softer than it ever had been in a long time. "I'm sorry, Tasha."

"Rafe—"

"Let me finish." Rafe tutted, almost teasingly, the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "I didn't treat you the way I promised to. I should have been there for you... and I wasn't. If I could go back and change it I would in a heartbeat."

"I know..."

Rafe caressed her thighs with a frown as he averted his gaze. "I saw the pregnancy tests in the trash — but I thought... I thought you had an abortion... I never thought —" His voice was slightly shaky before he cleared his throat, trying his best to ignore the dampness in his eyes. "I should've been there for you. I'm so sorry."

Tasha stood, alarming Rafe for a moment. She held her hand out to him, pulling him to a standing position. "Can we go back? It's getting pretty late..."

Rafe nodded, silently telling himself that they'd talk more later. Keeping her hand held tightly in his, the two walked back towards the main camp. He didn't want to upset her further and he knew that even if his intentions were just, apologizing wasn't going to make Tasha feel any better.

A few hours later they had returned to camp. Rafe ordered the med doctor to check on her, because he was worried about her, not to mention he evaded her as he tried to think of anything he could say to make her feel better. He sighed as he stepped into the tent she was in, knowing that there wasn't anything he could say that would change what happened.

"The doctor said I'm right as rain. You worry too much." She smiled slightly as she glanced at him. "I mean, I'm still your prisoner," She teased, "but besides that—"

"You're not my prisoner." Rafe said quietly, fighting the urge to scoff.

"So, if I wanted to leave, you'd let me walk out of this tent?" Tasha inquired as she looked at him, noticing the way his eyes softened when she kept her focus on him.

Rafe took a step towards her. "If you want to leave, Tasha, you can leave. I won't stop you."

Tasha took a step towards Rafe, closing the small gap between them as she sighed, reaching her hand up to caress his cheek. "I never wanted to leave."

•••

Rafe tells Tasha she isn't his prisoner and that if she wants to go she's free to go. Tasha tells rafe she never wanted to leave in the first place. The two have sex, but when she wakes up rafe is gone.

Rafe stared at Tasha as she slept, and for the first time in a long time she looked at peace. He wanted to believe that things could go back to normal, but he knew he would never be able to give her happiness until he found the treasure.

His mind constantly spat angry words from his father at him, reminding him that he was nothing and she deserved someone much better. Slowly, Rafe pulled on his clothes. He glanced down at her, caressing her cheek before turning his back to her, trying his best to push aside his feelings as he left her.

She'll understand eventually...

Right?

••
Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well