Chapter 31: Unexpected (Aria's POV)

I moped all the way back to the hotel over numerous things. 

I can't believe I saw Mason again and he slipped right through my fingertips. If only I didn't marry Alex and vow to stay with him. But strangely enough, I still don't quite regret doing that. I loved Mason. He was my first love and I always will love him, but we both know that our relationship wasn't right. We were two wrongs making a twisted right and it would have ended in disaster anyway. We would steal to keep each other happy all the time. Which I used to adore. But if it kept going, he could have had to face much worse than just being thrown out of Azura. And that would be solely my fault. I hope he finds the one for him and I get invited to the wedding. 

Secondly, I'm moping about what he told me. He saw my parents. When I was with him, I would tell him often about how I miss my parents, I wondered how they were doing, and I always wanted to know if they had another child. What gender it would be, what they would name it. I thought of asking my aunt because I knew she would speak to my mother on occasions, but I never got the courage to. And now I know. They have a daughter. She's ought to be younger than me. Maybe she's eighteen now. It must have taken them a while to settle back in Nethilore, so she must be younger than me. Maybe two years, maybe three. 

I can't believe they have another daughter. They left me. They never considered me as their daughter then. They never cared enough for me. In fact, they cared so little that they just left me and then started a whole new family. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would. It made me feel a lot more worthless than I thought it would. 

And lastly, I'm moping about the fact that I think I've caught feelings for Alexander Phoenix. And let me explain why I'm moping about that. I came here with a purpose. My life is pure misery because of him and his grandparents and my goal was to come here and give him just a taste of his own medicine. But now I've developed feelings for him. And with that in the way, I'll never be able to achieve what I came here for. 

Now, what am I going to do? What the hell will I do? If I start loving him, how will I ever be able to hurt him the way he hurt me? If not that, just a pinch, just a fraction of how much he hurt me? 

I won't. I'll fail. And that hurts too because I'm not failing anybody else. Just myself. 

"Hey." I snapped out of my thoughts, looking up at him as he tugged at my hand. "The elevator is here, come on." 

I stepped into the elevator with him, leaning against the wall with a loud sigh. 

"Why are you moping, Aria?" he asked softly, leaning against the wall beside me as the elevator slowly started moving. 

"Should I be dancing merrily?" 

"What are you upset about the most? Tell me." 

"They have another daughter, Alex," I exhaled. "Do you know what that means? That means they never cared for me. At all. That's why they left me here. That's why they were able to move on so quickly and have another daughter. Maybe she's only a few years younger than me, or maybe she's still a child. But they forgot me, Alex. I never mattered enough to them. I was... nothing to them. I was worth nothing." 

"Stop it," he said sternly, standing in front of me now. "Stop telling yourself that. You're not worthless. You're worth a lot, okay?" 

I stared at him. 

"You're worth every little thing in the world. And you're worth every happy moment. And just because they didn't understand that, doesn't mean other people don't. Just because they left you, doesn't mean other people will. Everybody isn't the same. Some people leave you, some won't. Some people hurt you, others won't. And the fact that you made it through so much is everything, Aria. And you don't give yourself enough credit for that. Do you know how much you've been through? Any other person may not even be able to handle a fraction of that. So stop. Stop pitying yourself. You're stronger than you think, don't underestimate yourself." 

I watched him silently for a minute. "You're getting better at speeches," I nodded. 

"Aria," he groaned, stepping closer, putting his hands on the wall behind me, either side of my head. He has me trapped between him and the wall. And that's oddly intimidating. "Maybe they didn't care about you enough, or maybe they didn't love you enough. But there are other people who do. People who will." 

"Other people aren't my parents." 

"What parents, Aria? You raised yourself, okay? They're only your parents biologically. Other than that, you built yourself from the ground up. You owe nothing to them." 

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Why are you comforting me so much? Just because I'm your wife, huh?" 

"No," he shook his head. "It's not just because you're my wife. But it's because I really do care about you. And I don't like seeing you so miserable, especially over the past. It's already done, get over it. Move on. Do better in your life. So much better, that all these bad memories fade away into the distance. Until they're..." He held up his fingers in a pinch. "Tiny," he whispered. "And irrelevant." 

"Trauma can never be irrelevant." 

He sighed, putting his hand back on the wall. "But you can overcome it. Your life shouldn't be revolving around everything you've been through. It should revolve around you being happy. Just find that, Aria. You owe that to yourself," he sighed, stepping back as the elevator dinged open. "Now come on." He grabbed my hand, pulling me off the wall and out of the elevator. 

We walked in silence to our room which he opened with the key card and then we stepped inside. I put my hand on the wall, supporting myself while pulling my pumps off. They were heels just not too big. I need to get used to walking in heels after all. I sighed, walking over to my suitcase and dropping them next to it. "Do you mind if I go change first?" I asked. 

"Go ahead," he nodded while unbuttoning his shirt. 

I went and changed, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. I was ready to climb into bed and mope until I was asleep. I hung the dress on the bathroom door, deciding to take it tomorrow morning. I opened the door, getting startled at him standing right there. "Why do you do that?" 

"Because I can," he chuckled, walking past me. He brushed his teeth and I grabbed the dress. 

I'll just shove it in the suitcase, who cares? But I didn't. I folded it up because I actually like this dress, and then tucked it into the suitcase with the rest of my clothes I had already worn. I kneeled beside my suitcase, looking for a pair of socks. They always fall off while I'm sleeping but my feet are always cold and they really need to be warmed right now. I grabbed a black pair and pulled them on before standing up. 

He was walking out of the bathroom while unrolling the sleeves of his full-sleeved black v-neck. He scratched his brow while looking around the room, his eyes stopping at me. "Are you okay?" he asked, walking to me. 

"I will be," I shrugged, kicking my suitcase shut. "Especially after your speech," I chuckled, looking up at him. I raised my brows at him questioningly when he was saying nothing and only staring at me. 

"I don't know how you went through so much and still turned out to be like this," he sighed. 

"Like what?" I asked, leaning against the wall, folding my arms across my chest. 

"So fucking perfect." 

My arms fell to my sides. "I am far from perfect, Phoenix," I chortled. "Perfect people don't have nightmares," I whispered while he stepped closer to me. 

"Of course they do," he argued, standing only inches from me. "They don't show it. That's why we think they're perfect. And if I didn't see you have one, I would never know." 

"I think that just means I'm a good liar," I nodded, pulling fuzz off of his shirt. 

"I think perfect people are all great liars," he countered. "You're just the best one I've met so far." 

I chuckled, "Well thank you. But this liar is going to sleep." I stepped to the right and so did he, blocking my way. I stepped left and he did too, repeating it. "I don't have time for your silly games," I smiled, pushing at his chest. 

He grabbed my wrists, pushing them off. He stepped forward and I stepped back, hitting the wall. 

"What do you want?" I laughed softly. 

"To do something... unexpected." 

"Unexpected?" I asked. 

He nodded. 

"And what must that be?" 

He chuckled, stepping back. "Nothing. Goodnight, Aria." 

I frowned in confusion. "Goodnight."

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Chapter 31

ya'll better know what he meant when he said he wants to do something unexpected.

tell me, take your guess

next chapter: queen