"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one." – George Washington

1813

Valarie had been in London for a fair few weeks now and being with Gwyn had given her a new lease of life. It was like stepping back in time, the way they behaved and the lives they manipulated. It was almost like nothing had changed and for a fair few moments, Valarie could pretend that her life was perfect.

Neither Gwyn nor herself had seen that handsome gentleman since they had first locked eyes with him across the crowded ballroom but neither had given up hope that they would see him again. It was of no surprise to Valarie that the trouble started the moment she felt relaxed and safe in London. She had let her guard down again and revenge had come to seek her out with a basket of presents.

It started as innocently as you would imagine love to start, with a series of heartfelt notes that eventually turned into something more sinister. The notes arrived each morning but that was just the beginning of things. Sometimes the notes were delivered to her while she was at a ball or attending a fancy dinner or when she was out shopping in London.

If Gwyn saw the change in Valarie's behaviour, she didn't mention it. Valarie assumed that Gwyn just thought she was playing another game and that the notes were from a new interested party. Valarie was content to let Gwyn believe that for now, for it was better than admitting what was really going on.

As the innocent pretence wore off, Valarie found herself in a struggle of wills. Locked in her mind, she was transported back to when she was ten-years-old and to the conversation that first changed her life. The conversation that had laid out her future life was really where it had all gone wrong. Yet, that was the way things were supposed to be and there was no changing it. A woman grew up to be two things, a wife and a Mother. There was no alternative, the world offered no other options and the men of the world would always be in charge.

What would have happened if Valarie had spoken out against her parents and their decision? Would they have taken her opinion into consideration or would they have discarded it and gone ahead with their plans? Would they have disowned her for her attitude? Surely, a life on the streets would have been better than the life she currently led. Realistically, both lives were similar, the former, the life that didn't happen seemed simpler but who's to say the events of her past would have been any different had she spoken out all those years ago.

She was still but a young girl who had no family and no permanent residence. She was a girl who had seen and done more bad things than you could imagine. She was a girl down on her luck and thinking of what could have been wasn't going to help her now.

"I'm going mad," she muttered to herself.

"Miss Valarie, this came in the morning post for you."

Gwyn's Butler had sought her out to deliver the most beautifully wrapped box. Valarie had been sitting alone in one of Gwyn's many sitting rooms. Gwyn was out for the afternoon and it had been Valarie's boredom that had lured her into thinking of the past.

As she opened the gift, she wondered who could have sent it. To her knowledge she didn't have any suitors in London, and this didn't seem like something Victor Madden – who was her London acquaintance – would do.

The inside of the box was lined with gorgeous pink tissue paper and Valarie found herself admiring the presentation of the gift she had. She felt special for once to have received such a gift, until she saw what was inside the box. She screamed and pushed the box from her lap and onto the floor. The content spilt and at her second scream, Gwyn's Butler came charging into the room.

"Are you alright Miss?"

"There's a...please remove it."

Valarie watched the Butler look to where she was pointing. His face steeled. At least he'd seen it too and she wasn't imagining things. Lying on the floor and stuck to some tissue paper lay a dead rat. Its throat had been sliced and its dried blood had matted with the paper that was still inside the box.

"Are you alright Miss?" repeated the Butler.

"I'm fine. It must have been a mistake delivery or something. Please just get it out of here."

"Certainly Miss. Shall I inform the Mistress of this?"

"No, everything is fine. This was just a mistake. No point in worrying Gwyn over something that won't happen again."

How wrong Valarie had been in that statement for that box was the first of many to appear at Gwyn's London home. Following the dead rat had come a dead cat, a fox, a severed deer-s head and then a box just filled with bloodied straw. After that, Valarie refused to open any other gift and informed the Butler not to accept anything further that carried her name. Things should have been fine from then on, but they weren't. When the sender realised that the gifts were no longer being accepted, the notes started to appear again. Only this time the threats were more sinister and were written not in ink, but in blood. Valarie assumed it was animal blood because the alternative was just too horrific to bear.

Valarie could manage as she was. Yes, she was frightened but she could contain it. She believed that no real harm could come to her while she lived under Gwyn's roof, but she was still thinking of the future and that she may have to part her present company soon.

Her contained bubble popped when she was confronted with another gift but one that didn't have her name on it. As the open box was thrust under her nose, she smelt the strong smell of decay and felt her stomach sink. Accompanying the deceased animal was another note:

'No one is safe. You harbour what I seek and have now become part of the problem. This is how I deal with problems.'

Valarie sucked in a breath as her gaze moved from the contents of the box to the face of Gwyn.

"What's going on?"

Valarie knew Gwyn was frightened, as she could hear it in her voice. Everyone that got involved became collateral damage. Valarie knew this and yet this was the second time she'd run to Gwyn for safety. This was as much a warning to Gwyn as it was to Valarie.

"Please tell me this is a one-time occurrence," said Gwyn.

"You know I can't do that."

"How long as this been going on?"

"A few weeks."

"Were you ever going to mention this? Or were you going to keep getting my Butler to cover for you?"

"I was hoping the whole ordeal would disappear. Gwyn, I didn't want to drag you down in this mess."

"Well, it's too late for that now. I warned you Valarie. Back when this all began, I warned you when you visited me that he was out of gaol. We play the game Valarie, but you played too far. I don't want any part in this. I want you to leave, today. I'm sorry Valarie but I can't get mixed up in this."

Valarie nodded as she had expected this outcome. Really, she should have left a while ago and spared her friend. She had been hoping that she could just fly under the radar and manage the problem quietly in the comfort of Gwyn's home.

She no longer had that luxury and as she packed her meagre belongings, the idea of settling down in Bath became her newest thought of destination.

Valarie could have said goodbye to Gwyn, but she preferred to sneak off quietly. She felt like she was disgraced once more and leaving without a trace better suited her needs. Valarie was a sucker for wanting to hold onto the past. She'd sought out Gwyn twice now, but why? Did she really miss the friendship they'd shared? No, it was more that she craved the safety she felt when with Gwyn and the childish innocence they'd both lost.

Collecting her thoughts, Valarie walked the streets of London. Everything was so loud here, and the city never stopped. It was exciting, fascinating and exhausting. Valarie had been so deep in thought planning how she would get from London to Bath, that when a piercing cry of a hungry babe hit the air, she froze in the street while her skin flinched against the sound.

How many babies over how many years had she ignored and yet this one hit the mark? She usually avoided children like the plague, while hiding behind the guise that she thought children were snooty and unnecessary. Still, as the cries of the babe continued to pierce her soul, she wondered, if not for the first time, how her child was doing and if their life was as good as she imagined it to be.