"Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it." – C. JoyBell. C.

"Raff!!"

Drenched in sweat and tangled in thick blankets, I woke utterly confused. My eyes opened and it took several minutes of rapid blinking to bring everything back into focus. My heart was thumping wildly, and I couldn't stop the shivers from tormenting my body. I felt weak, as though I hadn't moved in days and my head hurt. The last thing I remembered was walking back from the village and then nothing.

Raff's face swam in my vision, he was gazing down at me with worry across his features. Other people were there but I couldn't recognise them. I felt a pressure on my hand, Raff was holding it? I wasn't sure but I knew I needed to tell him something but getting the words out was hard.

"It's alright, you're safe here," he murmured softly.

He was stroking my hair, which was rather relaxing, but I could feel my eyelids becoming heavy when I wanted to be awake.

"There was a baby..."

When I woke the second time, I felt more refreshed and relaxed. I felt like myself once more. While I'd been experiencing Valarie's memories, I hadn't realised how much I missed being myself and being in my own body. The bed beneath my body was soft, I knew I was in my room, but the bed felt different somehow. Softer perhaps, or silkier, I couldn't really describe it, it was just different. The thoughts in my head, those mundane thoughts had me laughing. I'd missed them. I missed being me.

"What are you laughing about?"

I opened my eyes. Raff my Raff was leaning over me, concern written across his face.

"I didn't realise how much I'd missed my rambling thoughts. When I'm in a vision I become Valarie, her thoughts and emotions become mine and I lose sight of myself."

Raff was frowning and I felt annoyed for putting it upon his face. I wanted to see Raff with a smile.

"You had us all so worried when we found you unconscious. Do you feel like explaining things to us?"

"I guess so."

"There is also someone here to see you."

It was my turn to frown as I looked towards Raff with confusion. He ignored my look and walked away towards the door, opening it and allowing a multitude of people through. I suspected that if allowed, the village would be here to ogle at me, but I was relieved that only my friends were here – plus Maggie. The group consisted of: Maggie, Ben, Cora, Freya and Georgina and Maria. They all took seats around my room. I assumed Raff would then close the door, but it remained open as one more person walked through. A person I wasn't expecting to see.

"Maya, what are you doing here?"

"You dropped off the face of the earth chick, I was worried."

"I apologise, to you all. It wasn't my intention to make any of you worry. I'm not even sure what happened. One minute I was fine, walking back to the Castle from the village. The next thing I knew, darkness engulfed me, and pain formed at the back of my head."

"That sounds like foul play to me."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Can you tell us what you saw? You gave us quite a shock when you woke the first time."

I sighed, feeling for once an overwhelming sadness for Valarie and all she had been through and suffered from.

"Valarie had a child out of wedlock. She stayed with the nuns while she was pregnant and only opened up when a young Cora arrived to visit her sister."

All eyes turned to Cora.

"You never said anything," said Raff.

"It wasn't my secret to tell. Valarie had been through so much already. I allowed her the curtesy of her past remaining just that."

"What changed?" asked Raff.

"She did. At first you were a means to an end. This Castle was where she'd hide for the summer season before moving on again. She believed she'd hardened herself against feeling emotions until she met you. Or maybe she'd just grown tired of running. The time spent in the gardens with you made her feel so guilty. You poured your soul out to her and in return she lied to your face, repeatedly. She wanted to tell you, I believe she did, but fear stopped her. She didn't want you to become a victim."

"You speak as if you know her," said Maggie.

"I do know her, I know what she feels, what she thinks and why she acted as she did because I become her in the visions I have. I just wish I knew what she was running from or who she was running from."

"So, you are just like her."

"Listen Lady, you need to pipe down and give it a rest. Valera's told me all about you and from what I can tell, you're a bitter, twisted old hag who bullies anyone you comes across your path. Whatever beef you have with Valera stops now. Valera doesn't deserve your crap, we don't want to hear your poisonous words and in case you forgot, Valera is trying to save your sorry arse!"

Maya had her no nonsense look upon her face and stood with hands on her hips and with anger upon her face. She was ready to pounce Maggie.

Maggie was certainly a complex character. First, she'd been sweet and innocent, then catty and judgemental. I had thought we'd gotten past things but obviously Maggie would always be a little bitter about things. I tried to get out of bed but was restrained by several sets of hands.

"You shouldn't get out of bed, you've only just woken up!"

I looked up at Raff in amusement. His concerned eyes and serious expression made me want to smile, of course, I really did want to get out of bed and get on with things, but it was obvious that I would be fought every step.

"Actually, I do need to pee."

Suddenly the room got very quiet and Maya leaned forward to whisper in my ear, what she said made me blush scarlet.

"Well take it out!"

"Doctors orders, until your sleep is regulated, and you aren't at risk of slipping back into a coma, it'll have to stay."

I glared moodily at Maya, never had I been so mortified in my life.

I had only read about comas, I never thought I'd experience one myself, especially at such a young age. I supposed life had been catching up on me. All the stress and emotions I'd been feeling had toppled me over the edge. I didn't feel particularly well rested, I remembered what I'd witnessed in perfect clarity but didn't feel as though my body had got its required rest. I'd been surprised to discover that Valarie had had a child, somehow that put everything in perspective for me. Perhaps Valarie had been running from the child's father?

It certainly made sense to assume that Valarie was my ancestor, apparently abandoning babies ran in the family. Maybe it wasn't just Raff and the Castle who were cursed. I wanted to get out of bed, even though I knew that wasn't an option right now. I wondered how I'd starve off boredom while I was trapped to this bed...

Time passed even slower that I thought while I was forced into bed rest. Thankfully the bag had been taken out and finally so had the IV line. However, I was still confined to my rooms and the only excitement to my day was when I walked to and from the bathroom. I'd exhausted all my reading material and though I had a constant stream of visitors in my room, I still felt incredibly bored and lonely.

It turned out that Maya wasn't leaving just because I'd woken up. She seemed to have made herself quite comfortable within the Castle, had wrapped the staff around her little finger and seemed to be spending a lot of time with Zac – the groundskeeper's apprentice.

Now, however, she was waltzing into my room with a smug smile upon her face.

"Why are you so smug?"

"I know something you don't," she sang.

Glaring at her in mock annoyance, I waited for Maya to continue talking. Maya liked to drag things out when she was revealing a secret or a juicy piece of gossip. However, I didn't care for playing the mouse to her cat. Evidently withholding information wasn't that fun when the other person didn't cooperate and eventually Maya gave up on her smug smile as she gazed upon my unsmiling face.

"Ok fine, if you won't play along...the Doctor says you can leave your rooms now. Apparently, you're making good progress, but you must remember not to overdo things and stop when you feel tired."

My face lit up with excitement at the prospect of leaving my rooms. I'd been walking around my rooms as much as I could, but I still felt a little scared at the prospect of walking further afield. I dressed in casual lounge clothes, not sexy but comfortable and comforting. Excitement pulsed through my veins and I felt giddy. Maya had waited for me and smiled fondly in the face of my happiness.

"Anywhere you want me to take you?" she asked.

"The gardens please."

Maya linked her arm with mind and steered me towards the gardens. She rambled away as we walked, talking mostly, of Zac. I would have come out with some smart comment but once we hit the freshness of outside, and I breathed in the fresh air, I forgot all that Maya was talking about.

"You can leave me here, I'll be fine."

"You sure? I don't think you should be left alone."

"I'm sure. Please Maya, if I get tired, I'll sit down somewhere, I promise."

Maya still looked reluctant to leave but finally – and with the mention of Zac – I got her to stop fussing. I walked the rest of the way to the secret garden alone. I just needed a place to think. I felt tired and when I arrived, the walk had seemed much longer than I'd remembered. I sat on the rather dilapidated bench and gazed around me.

It saddened me to see the garden so neglected as it must have looked spectacular in it's prime. I loved gardens but knew little about maintaining them. I dearly wanted to get down on my knees and start pulling weeds up but even with the memories of Valarie, I wouldn't know what I was doing.

Instead, I merely sat where I was and started to think of all that had happened. I never thought my life would be in danger when I agreed to solve this curse. It was all a little shocking really.

"How long have you been here for?"

I blinked, using my hand to shield my eyes against the sun. I smiled at Raff when I saw him, patting the space beside me and waiting for him to sit.

"Not long, I just needed a place to think."

"You couldn't just think in your room?"

I nudged him playfully, he smiled.

"Doctor gave me a clean bill of health and I couldn't wait to get outside."

"You're alright though? We were all worried, I was worried."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I promise to tell you in the future, if I feel unwell."

I felt Raff's gaze upon me and didn't know how to respond to the feelings I had. In my confusion, Raff had made a move I was unprepared for. His fingers brushed my face and he tucked some of my hair behind my ear. With his other hand, he took hold of mine and entwined our fingers together. I looked up at him in surprise.

"I was very worried about you Valera," he said, his eyes intensely boring into mine. He broke the connection suddenly and looked out across the garden, "it's a mess isn't it?"

"She loved this garden you know. I think she would have stayed in here always if she could, but she was afraid. Being here brought her closer to you and that was something she hadn't planned on."

"We should fix it up."

I shook my head, frowning.

"I think we should leave it, knock down the walls and let nature take over. We should start somewhere new. I know you're new at this, but the past really should be left behind."

He smiled, "you're funny and kind, smart, beautiful..."

He trailed off as he started to lean in towards me and I instinctively moved towards him as well. I felt goosebumps rise up on my arms and noticed all the fine details on Raff's face. We were but a hairs breath away and I couldn't believe it. I could feel his breath on my lips and fought the temptation to moisten them.

"Marquis! Valera?! Oh, where are they?!?"

We jumped apart at the sound of Maggie's voice and the moment was broken. Lost in the disappointment of what could have been, our hands lost contact and we walked back to the Castle in silence, in our own way, we were both cursing the interrupting housekeeper.