"Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions?" – Pawan Mishra, Coinman: An Untold Conspiracy

I woke suddenly, panicked. I was in the bath and yet had no recollection of getting there. I could have drowned! Startled by this thought, it took me a couple of minutes to collect myself. My fingers had started to prune, so I could only assume I'd been in the bath a fair amount of time. Carefully I got out, wrapped myself in a large fluffy towel and walked out towards my bedroom.

As I dressed, I pondered what I'd just seen as Valarie. Personally, I thought I'd never met a more confusing person. Valarie seemed to be constantly changing from hot to cold, her personality more difficult to measure than the weather. I had yet to experience an aspect of her that I liked. I hoped against hope that I shared no personality traits with the woman. I'd hate to wake up one day and realise I'd become exactly like her.

I wished for some sense in all that I was seeing. Some order in the way things were viewed. It was clear that my visions jumped from different points in time. Raff said they were all cursed, but I suspected that my visions were also cursed in some way. After all, if the curse was easy to break, it would have been done years ago. I loved a challenge, but this was really getting to be too much.

Getting my work head on, I was all prepared for a day of hard work in the storage room. I wanted to make up for lost time and knew that between the ball preparation time and my fainting episode, I'd been slacking on the work front. Of course, breaking the curse seemed to take priority but I refused to abandon the job I'd originally been sent here to do.

I was most surprised, when I reached the storage room, to see Maggie waiting for me. This was the first time I'd been alone in a room with Maggie since our fall out and I was understandably filled with nerves.

"I'm sorry."

I arched an eyebrow as I leaned up against one of the shelving units. I gazed at Maggie unblinkingly, waiting to see if anything further would be said. In my mind an 'I'm sorry', didn't cut it. My nervousness was evident in the slight tremor of my hands, but I prayed Maggie hadn't noticed.

Maggie sighed, starring at the floor as she rung her hands together, in guilt or nervousness, I couldn't tell.

"I apologise for my actions towards you. Now you know of our...condition, you can see how I might have been swayed by who you are or were. However, that is not an excuse. I know I have been blind-sighted. I saw what I wanted to see and not what was there. We were all tricked by her and I thought that if I got you to stay away, it would make all the difference. You look so much like her, for a time I convinced myself you were different. Then, when I heard you'd met the Marquis, I felt myself exploding. All I could see was the past repeating itself and I was determined to stop it."

"You were a fool to be so blinded. Valarie and I are not the same person. We perhaps share ancestry, but you would be wise to remember that her actions are her own as my actions are my own."

"I can only apologise for my wrong doings and hope that in time we can move on from this. You don't deserve all that has happened to you, but you've stuck with it and shown more bravery than some grown men show in one lifetime. I've been an important part of the Marquis's life for so long that it has become hard to let go of him. None of us can move on if we're still clinging to the past. With your help we hope we can be free of this nightmare, but we are as frightened of the future as we are of the curse. Please forgive us for any wrong doings."

I sighed, frustrated with Maggie. It would have been so easy to ignore her apology and leave her as she had left me, but I supposed I should take the high road instead.

"It's alright Maggie, I forgive you. I would cease to be the person I wanted to be if I didn't. I won't pretend that I wasn't hurt by your assumptions and accusations because I was. I have precious few friends in life and had considered us as such until your betrayal crushed that. I would like to move on from this, but it will take me a while to think of you as a friend once more. I am only human after all."

"You have more courage than I do Valera, don't ever give that up."

I shook my head in response, and watched as Maggie left the room, drained from our conversation. 'So much for a productive start to the day!' I thought. Looking down at my watch, I realised that almost an hour had passed since I found Maggie in the room and as much as I was thankful that Maggie and I had resolved things, I was equally annoyed that I'd lost part of the morning. Clearing my head of all things, I finally settled back into the routine of work and had made quite an impressive amount of progress when lunch rolled around. It was so unusual for me to eat alone but unfortunately today was one of those lonely lunches where everyone else was busy. As the sun was shining, I took my lunch outside along with a book on paranormal experiences.

I opened the book and began to read as I chomped down on a delicious cheese and tomato sandwich. Most of it, I had to admit, was complete rubbish but I enjoyed the chapter on reincarnation, especially as it had several detailed accounts. There was one that stood out to me:

'I first realised I was a victim of reincarnation when the visions started. There after I had feelings of familiarity in places I'd not been before. On top of this, I could often recite in perfect clarity, details from that past life that I had no experience of in my current life. Once I realised what was going on, I went to research my previous life thoroughly. I was of course, mildly concerned about what would happen if I turned out to have been a murderer in a past life of something equally as horrible. I learnt through trial and error, that in my previous life I had left some business unfinished. Once that business had been completed, the visions stopped, and I was able to move on with my life. Sometimes, I still have flashes and feelings of deja-vu but mostly the experience did not harm me in any way.'

I was still surprised sometimes by how little like a film experience this was. Of course, my knowledge on reincarnation was limited, so it was to be expected that my knowledge came from the film industry. I supposed it was nothing compared to real life, but it made me feel safer having something to reference, even if that reference was for entertainment purposes only. Still, reincarnation stories in the films seemed much easier, but I guessed that my life would have been boring if things were so straightforward.

Snapping the book closed, I gazed out across the grounds. It really was a beautiful landscape. I could happily stay here forever if the weather would just remain this pleasant. Lunch had been delicious as usual but with the food now gone and my book closed, my mind started to wander. Gazing off into the distance, questions formed about the past and the present, until I could take no more and frowned against the chaos in my mind.

I was in a word, worried.

So far, I had been lucky, in that I had seem familiar faces in both the past and the present. I had seen the affect Valarie had had on those around her and had seen many sides of the fear that slumbered inside her. I wondered how far this curse really spread. I hadn't seen Harriet before the ball, nor had I seen her after. Had she been in the Castle this whole time and just avoided me? This curse was confusing, and more like a sub-par film plot than anything else I'd experienced.

The curse was vaguer and more confusing that the curse of Beauty and the Beast. Perhaps, I just didn't have all the facts yet. Perhaps the curse perimeters were specified by the one responsible for Valarie's murder? If that was the case, I wouldn't find out until I reached the end of the story. It was ridiculous really, to have so much information but still be completely ignorant. Frowning was becoming a recurring look for me, goosebumps were nearly always on my arms and I worryingly fiddled with my hands at every given moment. A far cry from the person I was before I arrived at Flyzroy Castle, but had I been better before? I'm not so sure.

Seeking out Raff was much easier than I had thought. With everything out in the open, the inhabitants of the Castle had been easier to find since they weren't worried about letting something slip. It was even easier to find Raff today, as just as I walked out of the storage room, Raff walked in.

"Oh, I've been looking for you," I said foolishly.

He stopped, looking devilishly handsome.

"You've found me. I assume you wanted to talk to me about something?"

Raff paused to look behind me and into the storage room. Suddenly I felt very guilty.

"I'm so sorry! What must you think of me? I've been neglecting the job you commissioned me to do. Oh, I promise I will try harder."

Raff laughed, the echo booming all around the small space. I was surprised, though I thought I knew Raff reasonably well now, I had expected him to snap at me for disregarding the job. I didn't expect the laughter.

"Valera worry not. I know your devotion to this job, and I could never fault you for being remiss in your duties when you are attempting something much bigger. I know you will finish the job at hand but do so on your own clock. I have no desires on when the job should be finished, and I am pleased by the progress you have already made."

I sighed, feeling relieved and slowly I felt the colour return to my face.

"Now," he said, offering his arm to me so we might walk together. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Has Harriet been in the Castle the whole time I've been here?"

"Yes and no."

"Well, that's not at all confusing. Valarie and Harriet didn't get along, did they?"

"No. I suspect because Harriet realised before us all just what kind of a person Valarie was. I always wondered why nothing was ever said."

"Valarie threatened her. She played on Harriet's insecurities about you and forced her into silence."

Raff stopped to gaze at me in horror, "I keep forgetting that you are living parts of her life that none of us have known before."

"Trust me, it's not all that great. I've yet to find something about Valarie that I like. She is a very complex person but nothing about her behaviour or actions have made much sense yet."

"I understand. Back to Harriet then."

"Why haven't I seen her since the ball? Why didn't I see her before the ball?"

"Nothing about this curse is straightforward and none of it makes sense to any of us. I, the staff and the residents in the village had been contained in the curse bubble. Babies and children in the village were not cursed and have been able to grow and find families of their own. My Great Aunt Carlotta was in the Castle with me when the curse began but I have not seen her since the day I died, and no one knows why. It was the same with Harriet and yet, I only see her at the ball and the lead up to it, afterwards, she simply disappears. I began to think of her appearance as a sign of assessment. The balls became a trial for each person sent to end the curse. It was the only sense I could make of everything."

"You know that makes little sense, right?"

"I never said it would make sense. I'm just telling you how it happens. You wouldn't believe how many curse related stories I've read throughout the years, both fictional and real and yet none of them are remotely like ours. Whoever cast this curse, whether done purposefully or by accident, had one sick and twisted mind."

"I can't believe this has been going on for so long. It's like some poorly written drama from the turn of the nineteenth century."

"I have waited so long for this to be over. I have thought about how my life would plan out in a million different ways. There is a chance I might simply cease to exist when the curse is broken but I'd take it over a never-ending lifetime of staying still."

I felt my heart jump in my throat when Raff spoke about not existing. I couldn't imagine my life without Raff in it, even though I hadn't known him for long or been in the Castle for long. I wanted Raff in my life, even if he thought of me in a friendly way only.

"How close were you to the others that came to break the curse?"

Raff seemed offended by my question, but I had to know.

"In the beginning, no I was not close to them because we didn't understand what was happening. As time passed, I became more invested in helping them, though it was not always received well. As time has continued to pass, my hope diminished and as you know I became a bit of a recluse. I suppose the answer to your question is, you are the only one I've really been close to."

"Why?"

"I knew you were different. Don't ask me how and before you ask, it has nothing to do with your similarity to Valarie."

"Still, it hurts to know that there have been others before me. I know it shouldn't, for I have no claim on any of you, but it does."

"Would it ease your heart to know that the majority of candidates chosen to break the curse came at the recommendation and insistence of Maggie?"

"No, it doesn't, but it does make me question Maggie's motives."

Raff smirked at me and I liked to think it was me alone that was the cause of it. I knew I was in deep, but I couldn't stop myself from sinking when I should be swimming. I was surrounded by people who should be dead. I was trying to break a curse that shouldn't exist. I was connected to someone who had been brutally murdered, and I had feelings for someone who had been in love with my own ancestor! Was there anything left for fate to throw at me?

"Why open the gardens to the public? Why put yourself in a position to be noticed when the curse makes the remembrance of you tricky?"

"The time felt right. I started integrating myself back into society. That's why we opened the gardens, we were looking for someone with potential. I didn't know that Cora had partitioned for you as a child or even how she knew about you, but I saw your name in an article about historical preservation and it had a picture of you attached. Gods, you looked so similar. I knew I had to try and get you to the Castle."

"Do you see her when you look at me?"

"At first, yes but now, no. The similarities between the two of you stop at looks. You are so different and rightly so, for you are completely different people."

"Do you wish you could see her again? To have her in your arms again?"

I was playing with fire and I knew it, but I couldn't stop.

"Yes."

Well...that was hurtful.

"Not, though, for the reasons you're thinking. I wish I could have but one more moment with her but not so I could hold her in a lover's embrace but so I could shake her and demand answers. What was she so afraid of? What haunted her? Why did she run? What was she hiding? There are so many things I wish to ask her but though I did once love her, I don't love her now. I don't think I could love her after all that has happened and after all the heartache and pain she caused."

I nodded, on the outside I displayed a mask of indifference but on the inside, I was giddy as a schoolgirl knowing I might have a chance.

"I need to take care of some business around the Estate, would you like to accompany me?"

I knew the hopefulness I saw was an imagination on my part, for Raff didn't have feelings like the ones I had for him.

"I think I need some air, if it's alright with you? I need some time to think."

It felt wrong to deny Raff, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind to accompany him right now.

"If you want to know more about Valarie, I keep my diary of visions in the storage room. You should read it."

"I just might," said Raff quietly.

 "You can't run from your feelings forever..."

It was Ben who found me in the gardens, collecting my thoughts from earlier.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You may be good at hiding your emotions, but I am good a reading people. You like the Marquis as more than a friend should."

"I will never act on those feelings. Raff does not see me in that way, and I am sure it would be difficult with how similar we look."

"I forget how blind some people are."

"I'm not blind! I can just see the truth that's in front of me."

Ben sighed, whether in frustration or disappointment I wasn't sure.

"Anymore visions recently?"

"No but I was thinking—"

"Absolutely not."

"But you didn't—"

"I will not allow you to harm yourself. Promise me you won't try this foolishness."

I sulkily looked at the floor and said nothing, but once Ben had left me in peace, my attitude changed. Ben meant well but he didn't control me, and I just knew I could call forth Valarie if I focused enough. Coming back inside, I took comfort in my room and lay in on my bed. Closing my eyes, I thought of Valarie and tried to force the connection we shared wide open.