"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." - Unknown.

I woke, my face smashed to the floor and I groaned. I was feeling so many things at once: confusion, anger and fear to name a few. It was such an overwhelming sense of fear as well, fear that might well kill me if the chance presented itself. Life had hit me uncertainly with these blackouts but what concerned me was the visions I was getting. Were they the product of my own imagination or – and here I stretched my imagination further – were these visions something more, something real. My thoughts pointed towards reincarnation but that was silly, reincarnation didn't exist. Perhaps whatever was wrong with me was causing me hallucinations or I was going mad. Maybe I should go and see someone. I could definitely feel myself start to panic and forced I forced myself to breathe deeply and calm down.

Through the confusion and the fear came my need to research and adapt. Having already made the decision to not work for the day, partly due to my throbbing head, I made a plan to rationally research what was happening to me. I made plans to seek out the library that Mrs Tilder had previously shown me. The library, or rather, books, had become a safe haven for me over the years and I knew it would soothe my frazzled nerves and provide some answers – hopefully. I knew that logically I was being stupid. I should have gone to the doctors when the blackouts started and endured any testing that was needed but it was as if I knew that shouldn't be the path to take. Part of this experience, though often scary, was exciting. The girl I was seeing inside my mind was complex and secretive and, on some level, I wanted to find out more about her and suffer the blackouts just to see her. I was, I realise, being stupidly idiotic but I continued onto the library anyway, hoping against hope that I'd find something useful.

Soon enough I was surrounded by piles of books as I sat cross legged in the middle of the library floor. I read through a multitude of books about the paranormal and supernatural myths, about mythical creatures, ghosts, spirits and reincarnation but nothing jumped out as a reputable answer. I read medical journals on blackouts, symptoms and possible causes but came up empty. Half the books I read were useless and the other half would end up with me in a mental asylum if I believed the theories.

I felt strong in my decision to research what was happening. I was most surprised by how level headed I was being. Taking things in with an open mind and not succumbing to the same fear and hysterics the blackouts had previously caused.

So absorbed in my own thoughts, I wasn't prepared for the thundering feelings that suddenly rolled through my body. I shot up on my feet and stood ridged as a wave of intense fear rolled over me. I felt sure that someone was watching me but couldn't see anyone else in the library with me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I felt panic fill me to the core. I turned quickly so as to catch the stalker in the act, however, there was no one there.

The feeling of fear remained and suspiciously the previously closed library door was now open. I walked slowly and curiously towards the door, knowing that this was the part in the horror film where the girl gets brutally murdered. It was anticlimactic, as no one was on the other side of the door and yet I still felt fearful. The air was cold here, a stark contract to the warmth of the library. It was almost as if something invisible was lurking here. On a scale of one to ten, I was definitely a freaking out 11.

After the harrowing experience the day before, my sleep was fitful. My dreams were plagued with things that had happened and things that had not. It was all very confusing and worrying. It was as if my mind was playing tricks on me and fate was watching over me with a smirk upon her face. Half-truths and forgotten mysteries played games in my mind and more than once I found myself up in the night, my bed sheets sticking to me from the sweat that had fueled my nightmares. 

I felt panicked when I woke, the last remains of my dreams slipping away before I had a chance to analyse them. I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth and a gaping wound in my heart, yet I couldn't remember why.

I decided that, in light of yesterday's incident, that I would continue with another day away from the job I was supposed to be doing. If asked, I intended to use an excuse, but hopefully I would be left to my own devises. Exploring the Castle and grounds around me seemed like a good use of my time. During my tour with Mrs Tilder when I arrived, she hadn't stated that there were any parts of the Castle that were out of bounds and the prospect of exploring every inch was very tempting.

I wanted to explore the gardens, but it was raining quite heavily. Instead, I decided to visit the art galleries that the Castle had to offer. I always experienced a calming joy when visiting art galleries and from the way Mrs Tilder had spoken, the art here was a sight to see. It appeared that there were four galleries in total. One for sculptures, one for landscape art, one for portraits and one for modern and abstract art. It was the portraits and landscapes that I was most interested in as there was something so exquisite about oil paintings.

I took my time exploring, I didn't think I would bump into anyone as I took in the sights of each new painting. It was not yet ten o'clock and I assumed the household staff would be busy elsewhere. Bar Mrs Tilder and Mr Wasgu, I hadn't met any of the staff yet but was looking forward to having an opportunity to do so.

It was quiet in the gallery, my heeled boots clicked loudly on the wooden floor. The view before me was breath-taking. The portraits hung from high in their gilded gold frames and the paint used gleamed in the bright morning sun. I had hoped to learn more about my mysterious employer and his family from the portraits displayed here but could only guess at his appearance. I stared in one corner of the room and worked my way around. Even from the beginning of the portraits, it was obvious that the family came from money and not new money but old ancestral money. Each man had a stern yet caring expression on his face, while each lady simply smiled serenely at her audience.

While I was inspecting the portrait of a Naval Captain in closer detail, I got the first shivers and feelings of being watched. Still on edge from the day before, I rubbed my arms and tried to calm the goosebumps when I heard giggling from behind me. Turning around I came face-to-face with two young women dressed in maid outfits. Proper maid outfits, not the skimpy kind women wear on Halloween. Their presence startled me for two reasons, firstly the uniforms seemed so old fashioned compared to what a cleaner might wear today and secondly because the two women had invaded my personal space, standing incredibly close to me and were identical down to the freckles across their noses.

Not one to back down from an awkward situation, I took one step backwards but remained in a confident stance as I spoke.

"Hello there, can I help you? I'm Valera...I'm working on the storage archives."

"We know," they replied in perfect unison.

Unnerved, I ploughed on, "what are your names?"

"I'm Georgina," said the girl on the left.

"I'm Freya," replied the other.

"Pleasure to meet you both. Sorry I didn't hear you approach."

"We noticed your attention was elsewhere, you are most amusing when you are concentrating."

I looked from Georgina to Freya, unsure of what to make of that statement. They were both grinning like the Cheshire cat and not giving me much insight.

"Do you always talk together?"

"Not always but we enjoy confusing new guests."

I got the distinct feeling that these twins enjoyed harassing others and got into a world of mischief. The twins were a little intimidating and the intense starring was starting to make me feel on edge. It was my first foray into meeting the staff other than nods or murmured hellos in passing. I was surprised to be put so on edge by another person. I supposed my reaction was what the twins expected but I found myself feeling rather annoyed that they were seeking discomfort.

"Were you looking for anything in particular?" they asked.

"I just wanted to learn more about the family."

"Mrs Tilder didn't tell you much I gather?"

"Not as much as I would have liked but I got the impression that she doesn't like gossip and didn't' want to press her further. I am just interested in knowing more about the kind of person my employer is."

"The Marquis is wonderful, you won't find an employer as caring or generous as he is anywhere else," said Freya.

"Mrs Tilder doesn't like gossip, but she also likes to keep the Marquis under wraps. She's very protective of him. He's a recluse really but he still makes time to visit all of the staff. Mrs Tilder would say that he has a weak heart but what she won't tell you is that it's not weak from health concerns, it's weak from heartbreak," said Georgina.

"Georgina! You shouldn't gossip like that."

"What? She should know more about her employer. Besides, she might be able to help."

"Shut up! You'll get us in trouble!!"

The twins turned from me and started arguing with each other. The turn of conversation was alarming and confusing. The twins were whispering but I could hardly make out a thing they were saying. I felt very much out of place and was beginning to regret my excitement of exploring and learning more about the family I worked for. It was clear from my short time here, that the Castle was home to secrets. Secrets that I was not privy to knowing.

I was sure that the twins knew what Mrs Tilder had suggested when she'd instructed me not to intrude, that I was a gold-digger out to break the heart of the Marquis, but I didn't want to become known as the girl who was up to no good. Money was nice, but it didn't mean much to me and certainly wasn't the thing she was looking for when pursuing a man. From what I'd gathered from Mrs Tilder and now the twins, the Marquis was an elderly man of a weak heart who had suffered heartbreak at some point in his youth and had never recovered. I knew that the easiest way to stop a rumour was to pretend it wasn't there in the first place and it was a method that had always worked for me in the past.

Having suffered the arguing in silence, I was now feeling very awkward and was eager to change the topic at hand. It seemed however, that I wasn't the only one itching for a new subject topic for Georgina pounced in on the brief silence with her loud voice and long ramblings. Following the end of the hushed argument, the three of us talked for a fair while about the various happenings going on, what it was like to work in the Castle, what parts I should explore next and what I could do for fun. It seemed that the twins had come to an agreement to not mention the Marquis again, which was a relief in light of their argument but also a disappointment because I wanted to know more. I dearly loved to learn about new things and was well aware of how grumpy I could become when knowledge was withheld from me.

I had thought briefly, that perhaps my increase in blackouts coincided with my arrival at the Castle and that somehow the two events were linked but I couldn't just come right out and say that to the twins because they'd think me crazy.

As we walked and talked, and while I viewed the portraits, there came a nick in the topic of conversation that quickly grew into a suspicion. There seemed to be a lack of what the two girls could tell me of life outside the Castle. They knew of the estate and informed me that many hundreds lived in the village but that they didn't have much time to visit. My suspicions were confirmed as I began to drop pop culture references into my dialogue and found myself unnerved in my conclusion. There were several mistakes made by the twins, more than several if I'm being truthful. They had no knowledge of world events from the last couple of decades. No knowledge of pop culture, no knowledge of what was in and what was out. Their speech and mannerisms were that of an era that no longer existed and that in itself was suspicious.

I was never one to let go of my suspicions, rather, I held onto them and let them fester in the back of my mind until I could prove them true or false. After that morning spent with the twins, I found myself more on guard and aware of those around me. A pattern was established where the twins would appear in the storage rooms and keep me company during the morning. They always seemed quite busy and were eager to help me sort through things. Their topics of conversation were limited to; the other members of staff, weather, fashion and books. They never asked me about my life, never mentioned anything from the current century and seemed overly careful in everything they said. Another thing was that they always left before Mrs Tilder would arrive with lunch, like they were scared of her or something.

It seemed to me that there was an unwillingness to discuss the Castle and the Estate, the Marquis or any of his family's history. It only made me want to know more. In his letter, the Marquis had seemed an alright fellow with a happy demeanor but now I wondered what skeletons hid in his closet.

I visited the portrait gallery again – but without the twins – as it has been fascinating to look at all the portraits and see the history. I was disappointed to find I was correct that there were no portraits of the current Marquis as I would have liked to have seen what he looked like. I left the portrait gallery for the sculpture one and hadn't even had a chance to look around before I felt the familiar dizziness and nausea. I tried not to panic but I was already worked up into a hysterical mood. I cried out as I fell, the hard wood of the floor hurting my knees as I lay crumpled. 

I came too, alone and disorientated. My head span and my hands shook. I took deep unneeded breaths, but my heart continued to race. 'I'm fine', I told myself, but I wasn't. I didn't want to visit the galleries again. Peeling myself up off the floor I walked back to my room in a daze. I took back what I said before, the blackouts were scary, and I shouldn't be keeping them to myself anymore. Yet, I didn't feel like I could tell anyone either. Over time I began to feel like part of the furniture. I kept my blackouts a secret. I suffered for that secret. Being at this Castle calmed my soul. It was an odd feeling for me, to belong so completely in one place. I'd always felt slightly at odds with everywhere I'd lived before and Maya had often joked it was because of my old soul. I liked to believe that was what had lured me into my current profession, my soul and my passion for all things old. I hated to crow the cliché of the one who 'didn't fit in with everyone else' but that was life. Better I live it being true to myself than lying to those around me.

Thinking of that made me think of Philip and I disliked the stab of pain that followed. Philip was like a thorn in my side, I didn't know how I couldn't see his true intentions and why I didn't see how badly he was treating me. I'd lost my own self-worth while I'd been with Philip, I'd lost everything and had become a mindless puppy who did exactly what Philip wanted twenty-four seven. I wondered why he had hidden this job opportunity from me. Had he been afraid I would leave, or had it been something more? His Father had definitely wanted to keep me within the family and despite the fact that the engagement had been called off, had been calling her since – if the missed calls during limited mobile coverage were anything to go by. Since I had found that failed adoption letter, I had thought that perhaps Philip's Father had been the anonymous donor, but that theory was so heavily dipped in speculation that it was confirmed a falsehood.

I had hoped that I was coming close to the point where I could utter Philip's name and not feel any pain. Heartache had its way of enduring time and not seeing reason. I didn't want to feel anything when I thought of Philip for, he'd hurt me so badly, but I guess my heart was still holding onto him in some way. I knew I was far from the point of being over the pain, but I hoped I could work through my feelings soon enough. I was grateful I'd been given the opportunity to work at this Castle because it had become the break, I didn't know I needed.

I was weirdly happy here and the longer I remained, the more my old life became distant. I tried to bury my thoughts of Philip and hoped that by the time they resurfaced I'd be more adept in dealing with them.

Coming back to my senses and leaving my contemplative thoughts behind, I focused on what was happening before me. I giggled unknowingly as I watched the twins, they really did embody a light within the darkness and everything about them radiated joy and mischief. Currently, they were taking turns in telling jokes and though some of the jokes weren't funny, the delivery had made me chuckle. Georgina and Freya could be most amusing when they wanted to be and though some of what they said seemed old-worldly, they were the best company to have while I worked tirelessly in the storage room.

"Miss Valera, where is it you hail from?" asked Freya.

Annoyingly I felt my hackles rise. Never before that the twins asked me about my private life and though that was ordinarily cause for concern, my private life wasn't something I enjoyed talking about.

"Originally I'm from a bustling city but I moved around a lot during my teen years. Before coming here I was temporarily living with my best friend. I guess you could saw I was in-between places."

"You must miss it."

I paused...did I miss it? Not really.

"I miss my friends but it's different here. I feel like I belong. It will be quite strange when I finally leave here."

I frowned. Unsure about the sudden churning in my stomach at the thought of this job coming to an end. I didn't want to think about leaving this place, but it would be something that would eventually happen. I couldn't stay in the Castle forever, I was an employee not a resident.

"I don't think you should ever leave. Stay with us forever!"

"Freya! Miss Valera can't spend her life here, you know that. I'm sure she has other things she wants to do with her life."

"Sorry Miss Valera."

"It's not a problem Freya. I would love to stay here forever but I'm afraid I'll only be here for as long as the job takes."

"We understand Miss Valera, but we wish it wasn't so. We must go now, I can here Mrs Tilder coming."

They were gone in the blink of an eye, but it took me five minutes longer to hear the footsteps of Mrs Tilder echoing down the hall. I wondered suspiciously how the twins could have heard her coming from such a distance. I filed the information away for later viewing, the behaviour of the twins was stacking up in oddities and I knew there was more to them than I'd first thought.

"I see those mischievous twins have left again," said Mrs Tilder as she placed the usually overfilled tray of food down on the table. Mrs Tilder had a way of letting you know when she didn't like something, though her words about the twins could have been perceived as humour, I knew it to be disapproval.

"Why do they scurry away when they hear you approaching Mrs Tilder?" I asked.

"I suspect they fear what Maggie would say if she heard them gossiping," said Mr Wasgu as he came into the room. "I hope you don't mind me joining the two of you for lunch."

"Not at all Mr Wasgu," I replied.

"Please, I think it's about time we dropped the title. Call me Ben."

"I'll only call you Ben if you drop the 'Miss.'"

"It's a deal."

"Oh how silly of me," cried Mrs Tilder. "I've been so wrapped up in the Castle's going-on's that I never realise we hadn't told you our first names. I do apologise Valera, we don't often get visitors at the Castle and it must have slipped my mind. My name is Maggie, I imagine it will be hard to picture us as anything but Mrs Tilder and Mr Wasgu, but we like you very much and wish to give you use of our given names."

"I am honored that you would let me call you so personally."

It was an odd choice of words I'd said and something I would never usually say but Ben and Maggie had looked at me with such seriousness when they gave leave for me to use their given names, that I realised how important it was for them that I know this was something rarely given. It further fueled my suspicion that the employees of the Castle were out of time and place.

It was pleasant sharing my lunch with both Maggie and Ben, the routine of it was like a warm blanket and there were never a dull moment of conversation. Lunch was superb as always and reminded me to visit the kitchen and thank those that cooked. A selection of warmed meats, cheeses, vegetables and a cold salad was to be eaten and that didn't include the cream filled pastries and fruit for pudding. While we chatted amicably, I sensed some tension between Maggie and Bert. I wondered – not for the first time – what was being hidden from me. It seemed that Maggie was trying to convey thoughts to Ben via her eyes but either he wasn't getting it or he was ignoring her. In the end it seemed that Ben won the unspoken argument for Maggie abruptly left the storage room after she'd finished eating, announcing that she had jobs to get on with.

"Was it something I said?" I asked.

"No, I'm afraid Maggie's retreat is entirely my fault," said Ben, pausing to take a sip of his tea. "I wondered my dear, what plans you had for after the job was complete?"

"I don't, uh, I mean...well I've really only just started the job. It'll be a long time till it is completed."

"I didn't mean to fluster you, it's just that even after this short time, we sort of had an idea we wanted to run by you."

"When you say 'we' who do you mean? It's clearly not Maggie."

"Maggie is stuck in her ways and she doesn't like change. She likes you my dear, but she is more suspicious of changes than the rest of us. By 'we' I mean those of us who work here. The twins have taken a liking to you and the staff in general have said you have been very polite and courteous. Even the kitchen staff have been singing your praises and I don't believe you've met them yet."

"Oh, that is lovely? I haven't acted any differently than what I normally be. You make me sound like a celebrity or something."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, it's just that you're doing such a fantastic job here and we were hoping you'd consider working here full time. After everything is sorted in this room, items will still need to be put on display or put into new storage and with all the extra space, the Marquis could sure sue your expertise with auctions and appraisals."

"You are so anxious to keep me here? The twins spoke similarly when I spoke of leaving."

"What can I say? We have grown very fond of you."

"I appreciate the offer and I'll think about it, but I would hate to make a decision without the approval of the Marquis."

Despite voiced complaints from Ben, I wouldn't budge on my statement. I might not have met the Marquis, but it was under his employment that I was here. If they wanted me to stay indefinitely, then they would have to ask him for his permission first.

The topic of conversation moved onto more pleasant things and I found myself enjoying the lunch once more. Ben was always interested in what I was working on because he said I had 'time for everything found.' I would argue that I was just doing my job, but that comment was always met with laughter from Ben. Speaking with Ben about the progress of the sort through reminded me of several items that I needed more detail on. I had a couple of books in storage that would be really helpful to me right now. Also, in light of my recent experiences, I also wanted to visit a bookshop and see if there were any books that could help me. I also wanted to see my Doctor and rule out any serious conditions.

These blackouts weren't normal, nor were the visions that I remembered, but though I was convinced a Doctor couldn't help me, I still felt the need to seek one out. I knew what I was experiencing wasn't normal, it was more like something that would happen in a book or a film.

I also realised that I'd been hiding in the safety of the Castle for a little too long and knew that Maya would be spitting teeth by now at my radio silence. It would do me good to poke my head out into the outside world and see what had been happening. However, I was reluctant to leave the Castle and the mammoth task I was working on. I hoped that I would be allowed to leave for a short while before returning. Luckily for me, while I'd been having an internal talk with myself, Maggie had returned to the room and was pretending like she hadn't just abruptly left.

"I need to ask you both something."

Maggie motioned with her hand for me to talk and I suddenly found myself feeling nervous. I reminded myself that these people, however strange, were my friends.

"I was wondering if I could take a week or two to return home? There are a couple of books in storage that would be useful to me hear and I need to pick up some more things from home and see my Doctor."

Maggie looked pale, like she'd seen a ghost, so it was Ben who answered.

"Surely not that long? Are you sure you have to go? We don't have what you need here? Two weeks is a long time...are you unwell?"

I had the strangest desire to laugh but couldn't with the looks of worry on both Maggie and Ben's faces.

"I should have thought of it in advance, but I never know what a project is going to throw at me. I love the library here but unfortunately it doesn't have the books that I need. These are specialist books I've picked up over the years which help me categories items both valuable and sentimental. I am not unwell, I am just due a check-in with my doctor. I meant to do it before I left and forgot. They'll keep sending me reminders if I don't go. Oh please say it's alright for me to go? I am coming back, I promise. I wouldn't leave with a job unfinished."

"You have a place to stay?" asked Ben.

"Absolutely. My best friend has a spare room."

"You promise you'll come back?"

I nodded, all trace of a smile gone from my face as I realised how serious Maggie and Ben were about me not leaving them for good.  

It was bright when I arrived back in the city, not as bright as the glow that surrounded the Castle but still enough to make me shield my eyes. I breathed in the city air and remarked upon how little I'd missed the place. Turning on my heel, I made my way to Maya's flat, intent on surprising her.

"Where have you been?!"

The door to Maya's flat flew open before I'd had chance to knock.

"You said we'd be pen pals, which requires writing more than once you know! I've been starved of information here. What's the Castle like? Are the people friendly? Have you met the Marquis yet? You know I've been subjected to Philip since you've been gone. He keeps popping up and demanding to know where you are. Apparently, the fact that you are no longer engaged to each other means nothing to him."

Shocked by the speed in which Maya spoke, I blinked a couple of times and wiped the spit that hit me before responding.

"Maya, calm down! I have written to you dutifully each week so don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. The Castle is wonderful, everything I'd dreamt it to be. The people are kind enough, but I have formed many suspicions about the Castle and inhabitants. I have not met the Marquis yet, but I have only been there for a month, so there is still time. I'm sorry you've had to deal with Philip, I was under the impression that he didn't want me anymore but what you're saying matches what his Father has been trying to tell me in his multiple texts and phone calls. Now let me in, I'm only here for two weeks and I need to get stuff done."

Maya huffed but allowed me entrance. I did laugh then, I'd missed my friend and her quirky behaviour.

"Why are you here then?"

"I needed to pick up some books that I have in storage. I also wanted to pick up some more clothes and bits. Then I was hoping to pop by the bookshop and get some answers. I also booked a doctor's appointment."

"A doctor's appointment, are you sick?"

"You know the blackouts I've been having..."

"The ones that disrupt your everyday life and have had you in hysterics after each episode, those blackouts?"

I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm.

"Yes, well, they've increased since I've been at the Castle and sometimes, I get consumed by intense feelings in rooms I pass like I've been there before or like someone's walking over my grave. I want to see if the bookshop has any answers for me, but I've also decided I need to tell my doctor about them and rule out any serious diagnoses."

"Its about time but Valera, what do you mean they've gotten worse since you arrived at the Castle?"

"In some of the blackouts I've been having visions of another woman. In others I see nothing and sometimes I see glimpses of things that made no sense. I know what this sounds like and I promise I'm not crazy. I thought maybe I could find out more from books as I feel like I'm experiencing something that only happens in make believe."

"Reincarnation," said Maya before sighing. She pierced me with an intense look. "You never do things by halves do you? We all joke about you having an old soul and never thought there might be a deeper meaning. Do you think it's possible? Reincarnation? It would explain so much of what you're going through. Perhaps the blackouts have manifested themselves because you're finally residing in the place your previous self-had been."

"Do you really think it could be that easy? That I was drawn to the Castle because I'd been there before in a past life? Doesn't that sound a little too convenient?"

"Impossibly easy but think about it Valera. You've never felt at home in the present. You've always preferred old things and places. You practically live your life in the past. If there was anyone suited to discovering reincarnation its you."

"Thanks for not thinking I'm crazy. It's a lot to take in. It was just a theory I had in my head, a way to explain what I was going through. But hearing you say it makes it seem real. Reincarnation huh."

"You never know, you might find out you were a prominent rich lady in a past life."

"I have a feeling it won't reveal itself to be all butterflies and rainbows."

Maya queried my comment with a look, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the fear I felt when seeing the visions or the way the woman, my previous self, acted. I wasn't certain, but I didn't think her story was going to be a happy one. Maya allowed me my silence and moved the topic along. We joked around like friends do and chatted about everything that had happened between when we had last conversed and now. Maya assured me there would be dinner when I returned – probably takeout – and wanted full details about everything. I left her searching the Castle's address and the family that lived there on google while I headed out to find what I needed. I couldn't ask for a better friend than Maya, who I knew for certain would come running whenever I needed.

I was glad to see my local bookshop still standing as it was an independent shop and despite being popular with customers, I knew it sometimes struggled. The bookshop had everything you could possibly want. It was a library in itself and I immediately headed to the back of the story which held books about reincarnation theories, paranormal theories and myths and legends. I found several useful books there including one entitled 'So You Think You're Someone Else.' I also picked up a couple of books about troubled sleep and blackouts.

I also managed to visit my doctors surgery and after a details explanation, managed to see one of the on-call nurses for a blood test and secured an appointment with my doctor for the end of the week.

I was feeling rather positive about my trip when I returned to Maya's. True to her word, dinner was ready when I returned and after eating my fill, Maya and I curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a comfy blanket. I was fully prepared for the grilling that was about to begin and was thankful for the wine.

"I can't believe you haven't met the Marquis yet"

"I don't think it's that big of a deal, from the way Maggie talks about him, he's an old man with a weak heart. This isn't like a Jane Austin romance I'm afraid."

"Wouldn't it be exciting if it was though! Imagine...you meet while you're working there, passion blooms and before you know it, you'll be married."

"Passion blooms? I think I can do better than an elderly gentleman."

"Haha. I was only teasing but honestly, the time you've spent there has done you a world of good. If only you could find the route of these blackouts."

"You don't know how relieved I am to know that I'm not crazy. Although talking about reincarnation as if it's real could be considered crazy! Part of me feels like this is just the beginning and that I'll experience much worse before things get better."

"Of course you'll experience things that are worse. I don't wish to toot the films, but things always get worse before they get better. I wonder why your connection is so strong at Flyzroy Castle, do you think you had an ancestor who lived there?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, it's not as if I have nay family I can ask. Whoever I'm seeing visions of has as very similar name to mine – Valarie."

"Maybe that's how you got your name."

"Maybe...Oh, I forgot to tell you, I found a failed adoption letter when I was sorting through some old stuff."

"Yes! You did forget to tell me that juicy piece of information!"

"I can't believe I never found it before but it's not like I actively search through my kept documents."

"Did it say who tried to adopt you?"

"Only that it was addressed to a Mrs C Greenfield."

We spent the evening speculating about the mysterious Mrs C Greenfield and why she'd tried to adopt me so long ago. It was good to have a best friend. It was good to let someone else in on her secret, it made me feel like I didn't have to hid as much and it was a good feeling knowing that Maya had my back and wasn't going to refer me to a mental hospital because I thought I was experiencing a past life.

I went to bed late in the evening with a fuzzy head but feeling lighter than when I arrived. 

[2019 1st Person Edition]