"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up," – Veronica Roth, Divergent

I awoke suddenly, the air around me was thick and my confusion quickly turned to anxiety as I held no recollection of where I was. As my head remained woozy, my eyes blinked rapidly to starve off the blurriness of my vision and the image of two people slowly came into focus.

"Oh, my poor dear, are you feeling quite well? You gave us such a fright. Oh, dear, perhaps I should fetch another blanket.

The voice sounded familiar to me but with all the noise going on around me I couldn't quite make sense of what was near me. As my vision gained the focus it so desperately needed, I relaxed somewhat but the confusion and anxiety remained throbbing at the base of my head. I sat up slowly, clutching my head as I did so and gladly accepted the glass of water offered.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Oh Miss, it's my fault. I sent you out when your rooms weren't ready. I should have assumed you'd be tired from your journey."

"Shh dear, Miss Dore doesn't need any more of your hysterics. I'm Mrs Tilder the housekeeper, we spoke on the phone remember? Our Groundskeeper, Billy found you dear, gave him quite a fright I gather. It's lucky he found you, hidden behind the back of the gazebo. What were you doing there?"

"I don't remember."

The suspicious nature of Mrs Tilder's question had me playing the victim. Inside however, I was panicking. Had it happened again? In the past week I hadn't had any blackouts and assumed the worst had passed. Obviously, they hadn't, and it had been foolish to think otherwise. This one had been different, I could tell that just from looking at the faces of those around me. I'd obviously been out for a long time and though I knew I was safe, I couldn't stop the overwhelming feeling of fear and heartbreak that coursed through my body. It was almost crippling, and I struggled to survive it. Perhaps it was time to share my problem?

"Well no matter, Mr Wasgu here, our House Butler has been tending to you but I daresay the adventure of the day has worn you out. Your rooms are ready for you now and I suggest you have a hot bath and then go to bed."

Though output by being spoken to as if I was an invalid child, Mrs Tilder had already begun to navigate me from the room we'd been in.

"I was going to give you a tour, but I suppose that can wait till the 'morrow. Is eight o'clock too early for you?"

I shook my head, as much as I wanted to deny it, the idea of a hot bath and bed was growing on me.

"Wonderful, oh I do hope you'll like it here, we've tried to advance with the times but most of the Castle remains as it was when first built. Goodnight dear."

Waking up to discover my room was so cold I could see my breath before my eyes, wasn't exactly a fun thing but perhaps the heating just hadn't been turned on. Luckily my head didn't pound like it had been yesterday, but I still felt out or sorts about the experience. It was the first time I'd suffered a blackout that had lingered with such intense emotion. It was like something powerful was trying to get through but couldn't quite make the leap into my consciousness. Stretching and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I winced when my feet touched the ice-cold floor. Bracing myself, I ran across the room to retrieve my socks before rushing back to the bed.

It took a while for the feeling to return to my feet, so I vowed to always have socks by my bedside in the future. I guessed the lack of heating wasn't something that had been advanced as the years had gone by.

Eager was I, to start the day. I could practically hear the history waiting to be told and couldn't wait to sink my teeth into it. For me, the tour with Mrs Tilder was just the tip of the iceberg. Luckily, the shower I had was warmer than the rest of the room was, which cheered me up slightly. Dressing in a turquoise summer dress, a green cardigan and a pair of pumps, I was ready for the day. With all the curiosity bubbling away in my stomach, I barely had a chance to feel any emotion towards Philip.

"Good morning dear, oh I do home you slept well."

Mrs Tilder's morning attitude was just the thing to make you happy and dispelled the grumpiness of waking early. Here was a woman who embodied the 'mother hen' vision but underlying her infectiously happy persona, I sensed she wasn't a woman you wanted to get on the bad side of.

"I did sleep well, thank you. However, I wasn't aware of how cold the floors could get."

"Oh dear! That blasted maid! I told her to put the floor heaters on for you. Never mind. Oh, how's your head dear?"

"It's fine thank you. I actually just feel embarrassed about the whole thing."

This prompted Mrs Tilder to fuss over me and insisted I shouldn't have worried about a thing, I realised I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings. As we reached the breakfast room, I realised I had no idea of the path we'd taken to get here or how I would find it again on my own. Once inside I noticed that there was an awful lot of food laid out on the table, far more than I could ever eat.

"It's just you this morning dear, everyone else has eaten."

"I can't eat all this," I said as I looked out at the food guiltily.

Helping myself to a salmon and cream cheese bagel and a bowl of fruit with yogurt hadn't put a dent in what was out on displayed but it would fill me up nicely. There was a jug of water on the table to which I helped myself to a glass of. As I ate, I was very aware that Mrs Tilder stood in the corner watching me. It was quite unnerving and certainly didn't make me feel comfortable. I did ask if Mrs Tilder would like to sit down but all I got for my troubles was a small giggle and an 'I'm fine dear.'

The awkward atmosphere made me want to eat faster and I was relieved to finish. Commenting on the goodness of the food seemed to win me points in the game I didn't know I was playing. I was just ready to leave the breakfast room behind and start the tour with Mrs Tilder.

I did enjoy the way Mrs Tilder showed me around, not only pointing out the obvious features but the small and seemingly unimportant features also. I looked all around me with a look of wonder on my face that never left. From the ladies sitting room to the library, the men's smoking room and the study, the ballrooms and the bedrooms, everything I encountered was a work of art and a step through time I didn't want to leave. Apart from the modern inputs of electricity and heating, everything else had been left the way it had been when the Castle was first build.

As we walked, I spoke to Mrs Tilder about the rooms I had adored the most. The library of course had spoken in volumes to me. All those books, all those years of knowledge and history. There were sure to be some first editions secretly lurking on the shelves. There was a roaring fire, countless comfy high back chairs and a sturdy desk to sit and write at. The whole room was of the darkest polished oak wood and it smelled divine.

The Lavender room would have been the private parlor of the Lady of the Castle and was magnificent in its beauty and simplicity. It was clear that every piece in the room had been lovingly selected for the owner of this room. It made me curious to know who sat here as I hadn't even bothered to ask if the Marquis was married. I could see myself sitting in this room during my evenings off but wasn't sure if that was allowed.

The last room that caught my fancy was the most lavish of all the ballrooms. Mrs Tilder explained that this ballroom was the one used for all the extravagant balls in the regency era. From the high beam windows and the drapes that hung there, to the polished floor, statues and paintings that hung on the wall, I could almost feel the excitement of a ball coming. I could almost hear the chatter of people and feel the dresses as they danced past me. It was an experience I was used to as I constantly let my imagination run wild and got lost in the past.

I couldn't help however, the feeling that coursed through me in each room. It was almost like I'd been here before and reminded me of the feelings I had just before I blacked out except they were stronger and deeper. The emotions made me feel dizzy and I had to take several deep breaths to assure myself that everything was fine and make sure that Mrs Tilder wasn't alerted to my odd behaviour.

The thing I noticed most around the tour was that Mrs Tilder never mentioned anything about the Marquis, absolutely nothing at all. I was curious about this man who lived in this grand establishment and wondered what his story was.

"The Master of the estate, what's he like?"

"I wondered how long you'd let your curiosity brew before asking me that. Well, the Marquis is a loving gentleman and a hard worker. There aren't many of these estates left you know, at least ones that are privately owned. The Marquis still has a hand in running the majority of what goes on here and as his staff we couldn't ask for a better Master. He's a busy fellow so I doubt you'll see much of him."

"Might I enquire into the Lady of the Castle?" I asked.

"There is no Lady of the Castle, the Marquis is a single man but that doesn't mean you can sink your claws into him."

The turn in her behaviour was instant. She went from kind and bubbly to mean and aggressive instantly. It appears I had touched a nerve in asking about the Lady of the Castle.

"I didn't...I mean, I'm not," I stuttered.

"Oh gosh, I'm just kidding. Could you imagine if I was one of those people? It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking of it."

Though she may have said it as a joke I knew she was exactly one of those people and that if something ever did happen that she didn't like, she'd be on me in seconds like a starving animal.

Mrs Tilder had started moving again and having been in my own private musings I hadn't noticed and had to jog to keep up. She moved quite fast for an elderly lady. It seemed that at last we had reached my office for the foreseeable future. Hidden within a sparsely furnished room, a large oak wooden door laid way to the enormously filled room I'd be working in. The letter that had first piqued my interest had spoken of hoarding ancestors but what I was gazing upon was vastly more than what I'd anticipated. Shelves lined the walls and made up rows in the middle of the room. They were stacked high with papers, valuables and other items. I already knew the family were hoarders as the letter had alluded to that, but I wasn't quite expecting the mass currently staring back at me. If there was an award in hoarding, then I was looking at the big winner.

"I know there's a lot."

I nodded.

"The Master wanted you to sort through things with these particular goals; items to throw away, items to put on display and items to keep in storage. Of course, after that comes deciding where in the Castle to place these things but you can worry about that later."

Again. I nodded.

"My dear, are you quite alright? You look as though you would faint from shock and I cannot tell if it would be from fear or joy."

"Sorry, I am just a bit overwhelmed, this is certainly more work than I expected but I shall certainly be up for the task."

"I'll leave you to get started then dear."

[2019 1st Person Edition]