I watch Rey and Hux separate to let Rose pass for the third time. My lips lift at the corner of my mouth in a smile. They shouldn't be standing in the middle of the hallway anyway. This isn't a bar at happy hour for fuck's sake.

"Hux," I scream. "Get your ass back on this set now!"

"They just ran into the wardrobe room, boss, "My light director, Finn says.

"What," I yell."Get him back here now!"

Finn sprints into action and runs through the hallway to the wardrobe room.

I growl and spin on my heels from the hallway.

I said no none actors on my set while I'm filming. Rey is a distraction. She takes my attention away from directing this film. Her laughter. Her smile. Her smell. I keep my eyes from following her wherever she goes. I have to keep myself concentrated on what I'm doing. I feel her presence whenever she is around my set. Oh, Fuck! What is wrong with me? I am a grown-ass man. I'm not a love-sick teenager. Rey is my employee. She wouldn't want my baggage being an ex-marine. The PTSD I still struggle with continuously. I'm safe with Gwen's classic Chanel. Then Rey's delicious smell of green apples and vanilla. I overheard Rey tell Gwen, one day, the lotion is expensive. Rey buys it only when she has money left over after paying all her bills. I sigh. If, she was mine. I would buy her a lifetime supply.

One day, I smelled green apples. I looked up expecting pretty hazel eyes. Only to find sky blue eyes instead. I hid my disappointment and forced myself to smile back at Gwen. I later found out that Rey gave Gwen the body lotion for Christmas that year. It is for the best though. It wouldn't do to pay more attention to the wardrobe assistant instead of the star of your film.

My thoughts wander to Gwen, my leading lady. The beautiful and statuesque Gwen Phasma. I am not stupid. I know everyone on set thinks I'm sleeping with Gwen. We are lovers. Let them think that. It's good publicity. The truth is I know Gwen wants to be more than just friends. She's propositioned me plenty of times. I always tell her no. It has always been my policy to never get involved with the leading lady while filming. However, she keeps trying. She leaves me little sexy texts messages and kissing me on the cheek. Gwen asks me to dinner and dinner. I join her only to just get away from seeing Rey on my set. I cover my face with my large hands. I sigh heavily. God, I got it bad.

Rey is 13 years younger than I am. She is my employee. I have to hide my feelings for her behind my dark sunglasses. I wore my dark glasses yesterday. She and Gwen were walking to the crafts table to find something to eat. Rey snatched an apple from the table and takes a big bite. I can still see the apple's, sweet juice spill down from Rey's soft pink lips unto her blouse. I shutter. I couldn't take it. I turned away. I had a hard-on all day long. I deliberately left my sunglasses at home, today not to make the same mistake. I don't need the distraction. All was fine until Rey answered. "Yes, My lord and master." I was through. I was in shock hearing those words come out of Rey's soft lips. I only could stare at Rey. My cock stiffened. She immediately turned it around as if it was a joke. Ha, just kidding boss. Rey, if you only knew how your words affect me. I want to make you do whatever nasty thing I ask. Would she approve of my secret lifestyle? No. Rey Nima is too young. She is too sweet for the dirty, nasty things I write about.

She will definitely slap my face. Call me a pervert. Never want to talk to me again. I write BDSM erotica under the name of Kylo Ren. Shit. Forget it Ben. It will never happen. I don't know when I began to notice the flecks of green in Rey's hazel eyes. Her soft pink full lips. Her sun-kissed skin. Her accent. Jesus. The English accent. It's so damn sexy. I could sit and listen to her talk all day. Her sense of humor. Rey is such a smart ass. I had to keep from laughing out loud. I couldn't laugh at her quip. Or it would expose my feelings for her. I passionately want and admire her. Shit. Ben. You're 36 years old and she's just a kid. She's 22. Too young. I feel old suddenly and perverted. I wipe my whole face down with one huge hand. I turn back to my actors. They are in a cluster discussing something, I can't hear. I clap my extraordinarily, huge hands together to get their attention. My cast jumps. I smile. I've always hated my huge disproportioned features. My big nose. My big hands until now.

"Time is money people! Let's get this scene done!" I scream out at my crew. They stare back at me and then go back to their places and back to work. I sigh and make my way back to my director's chair. I glare at Hux. He runs back to the set out of breath. I suck my teeth annoyed. I grind my teeth. Rey has never shown any interest or attraction towards me. She's only been friendly. She teases me when I'm in a bad mood. Which is often. I take a breath. I let it out slowly. I shove my hands inside the deep pockets of my jacket. I want to punch Hux's face until it's not handsome no more. I have enough pent up energy to fill all the pages of my diary, tonight. My therapist instructed me to keep a diary after I was dismissed from the military after an injury. I'm too old. Rey's too young and easy-going. I'm too serious. Idiot. So, all this angst and longing is definitely one-sided. I sit down with a sigh. I lean forward to look into my camera lens. I'm going to bring Moose to the set with me tomorrow. He is my big gray bulldog. He's a comfort to me. Moose keeps me sane. The set and the actors are all in their places waiting for me to call

"Action."

The scene plays out through my camera lens and I try to concentrate on what's happening in front of me. Except all I can think about is my therapist. I think about what he would say about my infatuation for a much younger woman . Maybe it is an infatuation. It will go away. Maybe I should give in to Gwen and just get myself laid. Maybe that's the cure.

"Shit, I blew it!" The shout brings me back to the present and I lean back from the lens.

"Cut, what happened?"

Hux Armistan lifts his eyes from Gwen to meet mine. His small blue eyes squint up at me. His pink thin lips pressed together.

"Sorry, Ben, " he said. "Take it again."

I glare at him.

"This is the fourth take, Armistan " I grumble. "you'd better get this one right."

Armistan glares at me.

"That better be a smile on your face, Hux," I snarl. My voice low and threatening.

Hux, eyes grow wide. He straightens his back. I watch. He swallows and focuses on me.

"Ok, go,"

The scene plays out this time without any mistakes.

"Cut," I yell. "Ok, everyone take ten."

I keep my eye on the camera lens. I watch my actors separate and leave in different directions.

"Poe, " check the scene, " I order. I feel a presence behind me. I turn my head. Gwen is standing next to me.

I pull away from the camera.

"Did you want something, Gwen?" I sigh.

Gwen stares at me for a second. She reaches out with her hand to grab the back of my head and pulls me toward her.

Gwen's soft lips then land on mine. We are both still. Our lips press together. Gwen opens her mouth and sucks on my full lips. I let out a grunt. Gwen pulls me closer against her. She wraps my arms around her slender waist. A low sexy groan escapes from Gwen's mouth. Her long pale white arms wrap around my neck. Gwen opens her mouth. Her tongue snakes out deepening the kiss. My cock grows harder and stiffer. It feels like it's going to burst out of my pants. I reach out and pull Gwen harder against me. I can feel her large breasts press against my hard chest. I feel myself getting even harder. My body can't help but to respond. It's been six years since I've been with a woman. This film is the only thing I think or care about, lately.

A squeak and a loud crash interrupts the moment. Gwen and I look up. Rey is standing over a chair tipped over on its side. Her mouth wide open. She stares back at us. Her face rosy red with embarrassment

"Oh, I.i.i'm sso sorry,"" Rey stammers. "I didn't mean to interrupt. "

A silence falls between us.

"I'm just going to leave now," Rey murmurs. She turns to leave. Gwen speaks up.

"Thanks, Rey, "Gwen answers."I just want to have some time alone with my honey. We've both been so busy lately this is our only time we can grab for some alone time."

My jaw twitches. I feel Gwen's hand on my chest. Stating her claim.

"Right," Rey answers.

Rey looks at Gwen. She nods. A new shade of red blossoms her face. She looks away every time I try to meet her eyes. I don't blame her. I would be embarrassed too.

A brief flick of my eyes. I feel Gwen's hand begin to go further down my shirt. I catch Gwen's hand before it reaches my pants belt.

I lift my eyes. Rey's eyes are staring down at my pants. I look down to see what she is looking at. I have a huge bulge in the front of my pants. The outline of it now prominent. Shit.

"I'll tell Paige you'll see her after lunch for your fitting, then," Rey murmurs and spins on her heel and leaves.

I watch her leave. I want to run after her and tell her this is not what it looks like. Gwen and I are not together. I want to be with you, not Gwen. However, I know it's useless. She's already gone around the corner and out of the studio. Also, she will not believe me. The rumors of Gwen and I having a secret affair is proven true today after.

I feel Gwen's hand slide slowly up to my chest. She leans forward to whisper in my ear. Her lips pouty and wet.

"Good, we're finally alone," Gwen chirps. "Last chance to come with."

"What?"

"Last chance to come with me and Poe to the spa," She chuckles. "It'll be fun."

"Gwen," I mutter.

I have no time for spas. I want to edit the scenes I filmed today. Go home and drink Rey away from my thoughts and dreams. That's all I want.

"Oh, come on," Gwen insisted."It will make you feel good and will take all your problems go away. I promise. It's like therapy, please?"

I sigh. Gwen knows about my past. She knows I have anger problems and PTSD. She knows all about my therapy and my journals. Maybe she is right. Maybe I do need a change of environment. I know my therapist would recommend it.

It's better than being at home and pine after someone, I will never be with.

"Ok, you got me," I reply. "Let's go."

I almost become deaf by the ear-splitting triumphant yell Gwen lets out before hugging me.