The next morning brought me good news, as Horus had finished his assessment. He kindly gave me a few minutes to wake myself up before launching into the details. I even did a little bit of work around the hotel before heading back to my suite to hear what he had to say.

"Hello, my newest and only friend," he greeted me upon my return, "I have pondered the problem of the Prime Heifer and have formulated a solution. The Prime Heifer has not yet taken his physical form and can be stopped if we act fast."

"That's good to hear," I said, "So what's the plan, then?"

"Seek the sacred Branding Iron of Udder destruction. With this weapon you can halt the Prime Heifer's entrance into this world! This iron was a sacred relic of mine once," he added, seeing my look of confusion, "But years ago a Strangetown local stumbled upon my tomb and pilfered it. Find that person and retrieve the iron!"

"Do you know which Strangetown local has it?" I asked.

"Sadly, I do not. You'll have to ask around, I'm afraid," he answered. "Farewell, Alessa, I hope you find it soon."

"I'll try," I said. As soon as those words left my mouth, however, my phone started ringing. It was Luthor Bigbucks, telling me he was lost in the fucking desert. Right now, of all times. As Horus started rummaging through my fridge for food, I went to g and find him before asking around.

It turned out he wasn't really there when I arrived. The guy was pranking me. I planned on getting him back for it at some point, but for now I moved n to the more urgent matter at hand. I started by asking Mamma Hogg, who replied with, "Branding iron? No, I have a clothes iron. But it's not enchanted. Sorry, Alessa."

Honest Jackson's number was still saved in my phone, and he did live in Strangetown for a long time, so I figured I'd call and ask him. His response was, "Branding iron? What do I look like to you? A cattle rancher? No, I'm a politician, darn it! I tend sheep, not cattle."

Eventually, I found it in the sheriff's station lying on his desk, next to the nameplate which read 'Detective Dan D. Mann' after Jeb pointed me there. "Excuse me, sir, but do you mind if I borrow this?" I asked. He gave no verbal response, only shrugged and continued eating his doughnut. I took that to mean he didn't care, and headed back to my suite with it to check with Horus that it was the right iron.

"I have not seen this branding iron for many years," he said, "it is good to see it in safe hands. Now...enter the summoning chamber and shatter the Prime Heifer icon! Prevent his materialism into this world."

"I intend to," I said. I was determined to stop Ava, and to save Ava and the others. I immediately headed for the basement, and descended the stairs to the Bovine Shrine where Ava was doing the summoning.

"What are you doing in here? Will you pledge your allegiance to the Prime Heifer?" Ava demanded when she saw me, "Or have you just come to bother me?"

"Hell no, I won't," I replied bluntly, before staking up to the Prime Heifer statue and, in one swift movement and all the strength I could muster, shattered it with the branding iron. Ava was horrified, to say the least, as everyone down there was snapped out of their trance.

"No! Stop! We haven't finished the chant!" Ava screamed, :You idiot! You imbecile! How could you?! The return of Prime Heifer the Wise and All Powerful was imminent!" She made some sort of angry growling noise before continuing, "If you think I am paying you for my stay here, you are sorely mistaken! Out of my way!" She then stormed out, as Horus came in to see if the deed was done.

"You have done well, Alessa," he told me, "I, Horus Menhoset IX, am proud that you are the manager of the esteemed Strangetown Hotel--a grand place of whim and whimsy, built atop the ruins of my kin's ziggurat. Keep it well."

"Trust me, I will," I promised. He nodded before turning to leave..At the same time, Jeb came strolling in, looking puzzled. "What's her problem?" He asked, probably referring to Ava, "She looked like...hey, do you smell that? It's like a burning smell. Coming from the penthouse!"

"Are youfucking kidding me?" I was pissed now. How dare she try to burn the penthouse down after everything I did for her? I was aware that all of that happened before I destroyed the Prime Heifer's icon, but still. She was lucky I wasn't going to make her pay for the damage she did to my hotel.

Jeb and I hurried up to the penthouse as fast as we could in order to get rid of the fire. To our surprise, it was already out when we got there and what appeared t be a robot stood in the middle of the main room.

"Whoo! Looks like that little lady just redecorated!" exclaimed Jeb, "You're gonna need to clean this up, pronto. By the way," he added before I could respond, "I wish I could say you're free to skeedaddle on out of town now, but your car is in worse shape than I'd imagined. Seems a doohickey crossed a thingamajig and blew the whole engine sky high. Yeah...it's gonna be awhile. Sorry, kid."

Clearly he hadn't heard of my promotion. "Actually, Jeb...I wasn't planning to leave Strangetown after all," I said, "In fact, Honest Jackson actually gave me his position as mayor."

".Did he now? That's a pretty big deal, kid," Jeb grinned. "Congratulations."

"Salutations, human," interjected the robot, "Is your multi-moded domicile for transients in need of a good cleaning?"

"Yes, actually," I replied, "Did you take care of the fire?"

"Indeed," he replied, "and most excellent. I am an expert inthe field of domicile cleansing. Let me assess the damage now that the fire is out." He then took a good look around the penthouse, returning to us when he finished his assessment. "It seems as though this compartment was annihilated by a vivacious display of aggression. I can clean it, but I will require new tools. A Galvatronic Power Recharger should provide me with enough electricity for the job. Please, human manager, procure me a Galvatronic Power Recharger so that I may embark upon my solemn duty."

Hoping this wasn't going to be the start of another attempted takeover of Strangetown, I agreed to get the thing for him. I saw nothing wrong with wanting to help, but after the last two guests who stayed up in that penthouse, I was not taking any more chances. Before I left, he told me that his name was Optimum Alfred.

As I reached the elevator, my phone began to ring, and upon seeing Tristan's name on the caller ID, I promptly answered. "Hello?"

"Alessa, do you have a minute?" He asked, "I need you to meet me in the basement as soon as you can. I want to show you something."

"I'll be there in a minute," I told him," I just have to take care of something first, okay?"

"Fair enough. See you in a bit, then."

After buying the Recharger for Alfred, I headed down to the basement to see what Tristan wanted to show me. "Hey," I greeted him," I don't have long, I have to get this upstairs. What was it you wanted to show me?"

"Thanks for coming,Alessa," Tristan smiled at me, "I want to thank you for keeping Strangetown safe and sane. You've shown real pep, verve and moxie. So I have a question...are you ready to take your stewardship of Strangetown to the next level?"

"There's a level higher than mayor?" My eyes widened, "Well, I'll be damned...but I'm listening."

"This town needs a hero. Are you the one?" Tristan continued, "Behind this secret door before me is a cave that once belonged to the bravest and most dedicated crime fighter on Earth...I am of course talking about me," he clarified.

"Don't be too modest, now, Tristan," I teased.

Tristan laughed. "But I am no longer interested in keeping the peace, as I have too many hobbies...but if YOU have the will, you will find all the tools you'll need inside."

"I accept your offer, Tristan."

"I am passing this great honour to you, Alessa, so that the legendary Ratticator may live again! Good luck."

He then surprised me by leaning over and pressing his lips to mine. Only...I felt nothing. I thought I had a crush on him before, but...I didn't know anymore. Now I felt nothing more than friendship towards him, but he left the basement before I could explain any of that to him.

I headed back up to the penthouse as quick as possible to get the Recharger to Alfred, but when I got up there, but place was already spotless!

"You have chosen an opportune moment to return for I have only recently finished cleaning this gorgeous apartment," Alfred greeted me, "See how it sparkles with the glint of freshness. I rather think I will stay here until I have fully upgraded the apartment to modern standards."

Red flag right there. "That's really nice of you to offer, Alfred, but I'd rather—"

"No, no," he cut across me, "There can be no further argument. I will continue to make improvements until this room is the most lavish in all the world."

"Um...thanks," I responded, not knowing what else to say. I'd already gotten myself into this situation twice now. Maybe I was just paranoid because of them, but I had a strong feeling this was turning into Problematic Guest #3.

"You are very welcome. Stop by any time."