INT. POKÉPAWN SHOP - Afternoon

The shop door opens with a chime, and a young boy of about 10 years old walks in. He is wearing a red cap, a red jacket, and black gloves. He is followed by a gigantic Pokémon, white with black wings interwoven with red and six legs.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Hello, I captured this legendary Pokémon. I heard it should be worth a lot of money, so I'd like to get rid of it.

The scene cuts to the young boy speaking to the camera.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
I don't remember how I got it, but according to my Pokédex, it's a legendary Pokémon, some kind of god. It's a legendary dragon called Giratina or something like that. I'd like to keep it, but it's become impossible to manage. He's very aggressive and possessive. He already sent 10 of my friends to the other world, a dimension opposite ours. Plus, it always hangs out in cemeteries and brings home corpses that he enjoys reanimating. I have to make excuses to explain to my mom why her deceased grandma is watching The Simpsons in the living room. It's become impossible to live with.

Back in the Poképawn shop, the young boy is standing, waiting for Rick's response.

RICK 
(calmly) 
Wow, I see. That's... very interesting. I guess this Pokémon must be some kind of god or something. And is it still... operational?

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
(confused) 
What do you mean by "still operational"?

RICK 
I mean, does it work? Does it do strange things? Legendary things, I mean.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
(exasperated) 
Oh, that! If waking the dead or manipulating reality at will seems strange to you, then I can assure you it's very functional.

RICK 
(smiling with interest) 
Oh wow, that's cool. Now, let me ask you how much you want for it.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Oh, you know, it hurts me a bit to get rid of it. Even if it brings the dead back to life and can literally destroy our dimension, I still have a lot of affection for it.

The young boy turns to the Pokémon and starts stroking its neck. The Pokémon stirs with pleasure and flaps its wings.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Plus, my mom is tired of stumbling upon reanimated corpses of strangers in her living room. So, I'd say 5000 Pokédollars. You know, I have to keep the mom happy.

RICK 
Hoho, I understand very well. Well, I'm not an expert in legendary divine Pokémon, but I know a guy. He's an expert in these kinds of things and can enlighten us on how much your Pokémon is worth.

The scene cuts to Rick speaking directly to the camera.

RICK 
I think this Pokémon could be a goldmine for me. But, you know, I need to know how much it's going to cost me and especially, I wouldn't want it to end up as a decoration in my shop. Plus, with its looks, it might scare away the customers.

The scene cuts and we're back in the shop with Rick, the young boy, and a middle-aged man wearing an explorer's hat, round glasses, and a white mustache.

RICK 
Thanks for coming, Archibald. What can you tell me about this Giratina? I mean, is it the real legendary Pokémon?

The old man turns to the Pokémon and starts examining it.

ARCHIBALD 
(examining the Pokémon, touching its wings) 
Oh yes, this guy here is indeed the great Giratina, the legendary Pokémon, the divine dragon master of the dimension opposite to us, humans.

Archibald continues his analysis and starts stroking the crowns on Giratina's head.

ARCHIBALD 
(excitedly) 
Obviously, you can see from this U-shaped golden crown on its head that we have here a legendary Pokémon, but also a king. By looking into its large red eyes staring at me, it is most certainly peering into the depths of my soul and oh... it’s starting to show me the worst unimaginable atrocities and oh... also...

Expert Archibald begins to float in the air. Rick and the 10-year-old boy watch, stunned, as he gently rises. The old Archibald looks at Giratina, amazed.

ARCHIBALD 
(fascinated) 
Do you see this? Do you see this? Ohh, it's now using its special ability to manipulate gravity. This is simply fascinating.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
No Giratina, stop that right now or you'll be grounded!

The Pokémon stops staring at old Archibald, who falls violently to the ground. Archibald slowly gets up, holding his broken arm and painfully standing up.

ARCHIBALD 
I can assure you, gentlemen, that we have before us the one and only legendary Pokémon Giratina.

RICK 
(impatiently) 
So, based on your professional opinion, how much would this thing be worth?

ARCHIBALD 
Based on my professional opinion, this thing is real. Since this Pokémon is a legendary associated with the myth of the creation of our world, I think 20 trillion Pokédollars would be a fair amount.

RICK 
Okay, thanks Archibald.

ARCHIBALD 
You're welcome, it was a pleasure.

Archibald drags his leg and starts heading towards the service door through which he arrived.

RICK 
Okay, now that you know how much your thing is worth, how much are you asking?

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Oh! To be honest, I had no idea this thing could be worth that much, but hey, I'm not going to argue with your expert. So, I think 40 trillion Pokédollars would be ideal.

RICK 
(grimacing) 
Ouch... I'll be honest with you, I don't think this thing could be profitable for me. So, I'm offering you 400 Pokédollars.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Ah, ah! I see, but I was thinking that since it's quite a big deal, you might take it for 3 trillion dollars?

RICK 
Oooohhh… Ahhhh… chhhhh… hmmm… hmmpff… Yes but I'll offer you 450. I'd even go up to 500 Pokédollars because your Pokémon seems nice.

The boy starts to think, looking concerned for a moment.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
Oh, you know, I think mom would be pleased to finally get rid of this Pokémon, and 500 Pokédollars is 500 Pokédollars.

RICK 
No, it'll be 450.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
(offended) 
But you said 500 just now!

RICK 
Yes, but that was then. Now, get out of my shop.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
But…

The scene cuts and we find the young boy outside the shop, speaking directly to the camera.

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
It might not look like it, but I'm excited with the deal I got. I know I'll have regrets leaving him here, but at least the good side is we won't be woken up late at night by demon screams all over the house.

NARRATOR 
Why didn't you release him into his natural habitat then?

10-YEAR-OLD BOY 
(indignant) 
No, but that would be too cruel! Think about all those kids out there with their Eevee or Jigglypuff at level 6 encountering this behemoth in Viridian Forest? It would be a massacre. And besides, it would be hard for Giratina to socialize, he's a loner, you know. I wonder if he'll be able to fit in…

The scene cuts to Rick who addresses the camera in turn.

RICK 
(laughing heartily) 
Hahahaha, I can't believe he left me this legendary Pokémon for 450 Pokédollars. Seriously, with his power, he could have created a reality that suits him. Who knows how much I could get from him? In fact, with this little guy's power, I could literally print tons of money and stop this PokéPawn nonsense or even this show.

Rick freezes in a long awkward silence before resuming with a forced, almost embarrassed smile.

RICK 
…But of course I wouldn't do that… haha of course not… it was just a possibility, I mean a joke. Don't you have a sense of humor or what?

INT. POKÉPAWN SHOP - Later in the Day

A middle-aged man enters the shop. He wears a cowboy hat and a gray jacket. He slowly approaches the counter where Rick, Chumley, and Sonny are standing.

MIDDLE-AGED MAN IN A COWBOY HAT
(smiling) 
Here's a signed autograph from the illustrious Trainor Blue, isn't that awesome?

The man pulls out a framed paper with a scrawled autograph. Chumley takes the paper in his hands, eyes wide with amazement.

CHUMLEY
(fascinated) 
Wow, an autograph signed by the great trainer Blue, I can't believe it. Guys, it's authentic, I swear on my life.

SONNY
Okay Chumley, no offense, but shut your big mouth.

RICK
Yeah, seriously, shut your big mouth, Chumley.

Rick takes the paper from Chumley's hands. The man in the cowboy hat looks confused.

RICK
It's probably a fake.

Rick places the paper on the wooden counter. The scene cuts to Rick addressing the camera directly.

RICK
I can't trust Chumley anymore, you see, he's too dumb. I'll call in an expert for this one.

The scene cuts, then we're back at the PokéPawn Shop. The expert begins examining the piece of paper. He wears orange square glasses, has short hair, a mustache, and wears a tweed jacket.

EXPERT IN TWEED
Hmmm… very well.

After examining the autograph, the expert turns to the man in the cowboy hat.

EXPERT IN TWEED
I'm sorry to say, but to me, this is obviously not a genuine autograph signed by Blue.

The expert sweeps his gaze from the man in the cowboy hat to the three guys at the PokéPawn Shop, each watching him intently.

EXPERT IN TWEED
As you can see on this piece of paper, it lacks the insults and condescension that are so characteristic of Blue. Also, look at how this "e" is written. The loop is too thin, almost nonexistent. A man as energetic and arrogant as Blue would never write an "e" with such a weak loop.

The expert shifts his gaze from the paper to Rick.

EXPERT IN TWEED
I'm sorry, cowboy, but if this piece were authentic, it would be worth no less than 10 million Pokédollars. But since it's a fake, it's worth nothing, just a piece of shit.

RICK
(shaking the expert's hand, looking disappointed) 
Thanks, Mister Jack.

EXPERT IN TWEED
(cheerfully) 
You're welcome, it was my pleasure.

The expert then turns to the man in the cowboy hat, who looks distraught.

EXPERT IN TWEED
(holding out the piece of paper to the man in the cowboy hat) 
Here! Take your shit and get out.

The expert in tweed starts smiling and waves goodbye as he leaves the shop.

EXPERT IN TWEED
Bye-bye, boys.

The scene cuts to the man in the cowboy hat outside the shop, speaking directly to the camera.

MAN IN A COWBOY HAT
(teary-eyed) 
This autograph was my last hope. I lost my job, my wife left me, my dog committed suicide, and my kids ran away to become Pokémon trainers. Soon, I'll lose my house. I don't understand, I checked online and it was worth a lot of money. My life is ruined now. I think the only thing left for me is to end it all.

The scene cuts as the man in the cowboy hat furiously throws the piece of paper into the garbage bin.

The scene cuts to Chumley facing the camera.

CHUMLEY
I don't understand what happened. I was sure the autograph was authentic. I would have sworn on it. I swear, if I had something… like a knife, I would have cut off my hand.

The scene cuts back to the PokéPawn Shop. Sonny and Rick start yelling at Chumley.

RICK 
Did you hear the expert's opinion, Chumley? Once again, you talked nonsense. You're just a big pile of fat to me.

SONNY
Yeah, you're such a loser, Chumley.

The scene cuts again. The expert in tweed sneaks back into the shop, exits through the front door, and heads to the garbage bin to retrieve the piece of paper with Blue's autograph.

NARRATOR
Hey, what are you doing there, Mr. Expert?

The expert turns around abruptly, completely shocked, his eyes wide open.

EXPERT IN TWEED
(stammering) 
No... no... Wait, it's not what you think, I can explain.

NARRATOR 
Wait, you lied about the value of the autograph earlier. It's real, isn't it?

The expert in tweed remains frozen with the piece of paper in his hands, then bursts into tears.

EXPERT IN TWEED
(crying loudly) 
Yes, you're right, I lied. It was an authentic autograph from Blue. I'm sorry. The fees Rick pays me barely cover my rent. I have to take care of my family. My wife says I should find another job, but no one in town wants a man who’s an expert in Blue's autographs.

INT. POKÉPAWN SHOP - DAY
The camera shows Rick and Sonny standing by the counter, intimidating Chumley.

NARRATOR
Another busy day at PokéPawn, where every transaction can be a surprise. Today, a man in a cowboy hat likely ended his life in despair, and an expert in tweed faced the harsh reality of life. But Rick struck gold with that legendary Pokémon.

RICK
No matter what happens, it's always exciting to see what surprises customers might bring. You never know what might walk through that door, right, Chumley? You little ball of fat.

SONNY
(smiling)
And that's what makes this job so interesting, Dad. Come on, Chumley, we need to feed Giratina.

NARRATOR
We've reached the end of this fabulous adventure. Stay tuned for more adventures in the world of Pokémon and transactions. Who knows what treasures await us?

The camera fades out as Rick and Sonny share a knowing look.