Roman folded up one last red flannel to drape over the pile of long sleeves kept in his suitcase. Several pieces of thermal clothing were rolled up to make it possible for him to squeeze in extra pairs of fuzzy socks. The main compartment was closed without much difficulty. His phone charger, a travel-sized word search booklet, and a slim container with a few pens were slotted into the smaller outside pockets. A heavy coat was draped over the suitcase's carrying handle, along with a new handknit scarf from Juniper. 

He maneuvered carefully around Cream Cheese's enclosure situated on the decorative rug by the bed. Roman gave the ferret a light pat on the head, followed by a kiss, to not disturb his nap. A blanket was draped over soft white fur to make sure Cream Cheese's limp noodle body would stay warm. 

Roman also stopped by Pumpkin and Mocha's cage to make sure their food and water supplies were adequate. Each girl received pets along their backs. They let out quiet squeaks in happiness. Their paws were caressed and kissed as a way to say goodbye.

Roman took his belongings downstairs to keep everything by the front door. He reached for his boots to finish getting ready.

"Ro, honey."

He turned around to meet Denise's gaze as she prepared sandwiches for the kids. "Yeah, what's up?"

"There's a better pair by the closet in my room. They're wind and waterproof. A little more durable for hiking. They should fit. Kay and I aren't planning on going out much while you guys are gone, so I won't need them. I just hope you're okay with women's shoes."

"Oh- okay, sure. As long as they're comfortable, I don't mind. Thank you, Dee."

"No problem, sweetie. I just want to make sure you'll be bundled enough. Don't want you catching a cold while you're on vacation."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." Roman walked into the kitchen to gently rest his head against Denise's shoulder. "Thank you for worrying, though."

She placed a loving kiss at the crown of his head, pulling away from sandwich-making to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "I worry because I care. You're one of my babies now, after all."

That was true. Mikayla and Denise treated Roman the same way they treated their other kids. Their actions in regard to his comfort and safety were a bit much in the beginning. He was getting more accustomed with each passing day, though. While some could find their actions to be a bit smothering, Roman was just thankful they wanted him to be taken care of.

Being labeled as "one of their babies" made warmth pool in his chest. 

Roman pressed a kiss to Denise's shoulder in thanks.

She stiffened, only to further melt into their hug with a happy sigh. "Go finish up, honey. Or else I'll keep you here for snuggles and never let you leave."

Roman shook his head fondly, pulling himself away to head to the bedroom.

The sought-after shoes were a simple pair of black non-slip combat boots with white fur lining the inside for extra warmth. They were big enough to offer some wiggle room if Roman needed to wear an additional pair of socks. Slipping the boots on was met with a grateful sigh as they offered more support than his normal ones.

He wanted to ask Denise where she bought them to get some for himself.

"Those look cute on you." Mikayla walked out of the bathroom while toweling off Ivy's wet hair. "Everybody's all comfy upstairs?"

"Yeah. Cream Cheese is napping. Pumpkin and Mocha are playing. They should be okay for the next couple of hours."

Dorian trailed after his mother, mirroring her toweling gesture with Wynter. "Excited?"

Roman nodded with enthusiasm. "I've always wanted to take a trip to the mountains. Being disconnected like that for a bit sounds pretty relaxing."

"When will Jay be back?"

"He's just getting some stuff ready at Juni's. He did a pretty big grocery haul for her so she won't have to while we're gone. Should be any minute now."

"Gotcha, gotcha."

Dorian and Mikayla kneeled down on the carpet with a basket of hair products kept between them. They took turns using different moisturizers and brush types to do the girls' hair in protective styles. Ivy kept herself occupied by playing with a toy crow. Wynter made cute grabby at hands at Roman to beckon him over.

With a smile, he sat in front of her and interlaced their fingers together. "You gonna miss me, Winnie?"

"Yeah," she admitted with a sad pout. "But it's okay. Mommy said you and Jay will come home after your grown up party. Don't eat too much candy. Your belly will hurt."

Roman chuckled. "I won't.

Ivy tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. She hugged her toy close to her chest before holding it out for Roman to take. 

"What's this for, Vee?"

"Mommy said you could get stuck in a wizard at your cabin. I want you to take Mr. Caw so he can keep you safe."

"A wi..? Oh. You mean a blizzard." Roman took the crow with gentle fingers. "Are you sure? He's your best friend."

"Yeah. Dor said if I get scared, I can sleep in his bed until Mr. Caw comes back."

"Well, that's very sweet of you. I'll make sure to take care of him and keep Mr. Caw nice and clean."

Roman pulled both girls into his arms for a snug hug. They were beckoned over to the kitchen by the announcement of food being done. Giggling overpowered the sound of their slippers running along hardwood planks. 

"Have fun, okay?" Dorian initiated a warm embrace too. "Watch out for wolves, bears, cryptids. You know the drill."

"I'll keep that in mind, Dori."

Flashing a peace sign over his shoulder, he left to get started on his meal as well.

Mikayla took the basket of hair supplies back to the bathroom. Upon getting out, she motioned for Roman to join her on the bed. They sat down close enough for their arms to brush against each other. Their hands were sandwiched together in a loose hold. Both of Mikayla's thumbs smoothed over Roman's skin, as if to soothe him.

He tilted his head in a questioning manner. 

"Will you be okay while you're gone, honey? This'll be your first Christmas without- without you being with her."

"Honestly? I think I'll be fine," Roman answered. "We never celebrated together anyway, so it's not like there was really anything to miss. Besides, I'm excited to do something new with Jay and our friends. I know...he's going to really need me, so..."

Mikayla's shoulders sagged out of worry. "I know. Poor boy. It's always been hard for him. I really appreciate you doing this. Just- be careful. With him and yourself. I hope this trip will be good for both of you."

"It will be. I'll make sure of it."

He didn't know how crippling Jensen's pain would get. Roman couldn't say for certain if he was going to have the right answers, or if his actions would always be the correct ones. He just knew, above all else, he was going to do everything in his power to support Jensen through his heartache. 

Roman was still getting a hang of believing in himself. But for Jensen, to help him with his grief, there was no room for uncertainty.

A courtesy knock followed by the front door opening was heard. Jensen's voice carried throughout the downstairs level as he greeted those sitting in the dining room. Each person ran forward to either kiss, hug, or high-five him in preparation for his longer departure. Mikayla gave one last encouraging smile to Roman and left to give her own farewell.

He steadied himself with a deep breath. Clenching his hands into fists acted as a visual representation of his determination steeling up. He whispered a firm, "You got this." to himself in preparation.

Then, Roman simply watched for a second.

Jensen's smile was bright. He acted the way he normally did by trading jokes with people, having lighthearted conversations, and showing his genuine excitement in terms of their reaction. His stature remained relaxed and carefree.

But Roman still saw it.

A certain darkness in Jensen's eyes he was fighting to keep hidden.

Roman entered the room while raising his arms for a hug. "Hey, bestie."

"Hi," Jensen answered with a softer voice.

Roman schooled his expression when strong arms wrapped around him tighter than expected. Long fingers clenched the fabric of his shirt. Extra weight sagging against him for just a moment didn't bother him. He purposely made it seem like he was extending their hug himself by squeezing his arms in a more secure hold; when, in reality, Jensen was the one who couldn't let go.

"I'm ready whenever you are," Roman told him.

Jensen lingered. His hesitation showed itself via a deep, shaky inhale.

"Yeah, let's do it."

*

Fresh snow crunched beneath the car's wheels. The path leading up to the front stairs had been shoveled to make walking easier. Grass, bushes, and nearby trees were caked with white. The lake sitting behind their log cabin looked solid in a few sections, most likely to freeze over completely in the coming hours.

Vibrant bulbs on the porch painted the entrance in a cozy golden color. Lights could be seen through the windows on both floors, giving Roman a glimpse at the rustic interior.

Jensen got out of the driver side of his car in time with their friends coming outside to say hello. He walked over to the passenger door, pulling it open for Roman. A hand was presented to help him keep steady on the snow.

Jensen took both of their suitcases out of the trunk to carry. He offered his arm expectantly.

Roman disguised Jensen's need for close contact as his own desire to keep warm.

"Hey, you guys came right on time!" Camelia cheered. "Pizza just got here, and cookies are in the oven. We were getting ready to pick a holiday movie when we heard your car."

"Oh, awesome. Just give us a sec to get everything put away, and we'll join you," Roman answered. 

Wet shoes and coats were kept in a small nook by the front door. Moving further into the house revealed a huge living room with a flat screen television perched above an active fireplace. Fluffy pillows and blankets were scattered on the floor to resemble a makeshift bed. Everyone plopped down in random spots to start passing out food.

Roman was guided past the kitchen to the wide stairs leading to the second level. There were two hallways, one long and one short. They moved along the shorter hall which only had one door. Opening it revealed a shared bedroom.

It was  a simple layout consisting of a queen-sized bed, a two-seater couch, dressers, a television, and two other doors for the ensuite bathroom and closet space.

Roman wasn't surprised at there only being a single bed. He was more shocked at the size of the room in its entirety.

"We get the master?"

"It's one of the gifts they like to give me since it's my 'birthday week'. I get priority and stuff like that."

Jensen put the suitcases down at the foot of the bed. He kept his back to Roman to focus on unpacking. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, only interrupted by the occasional sound of moving drawers, zippers, and light footsteps.

Jensen keeping his gaze pointed toward the ground made it harder to see his face. When Roman attempted to get a better look, Jensen turned toward the bathroom.

"Be right back. If you want to change into something more comfortable, feel free. We all spend a majority of these trips in our pajamas anyway."

Roman held back a frown when hearing how neutral Jensen's voice sounded. Instead of immediately voicing his concerns, Roman thwarted Jensen's plan of escape by hugging him.

He didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Ro-"

"I know you're in pain. I know it's a lot. You don't have to hide. Let down your walls. You don't have to play up the happy-go-lucky attitude with me."

Jensen's arms twitched, revealing his internal dilemma about sharing any more of his pain.

"I won't pry. I won't ask questions. You tell me whatever you want to tell me. Just remember that you can trust me with this."

"...I know." Jensen circled his arms around Roman's waist, resting their foreheads against each other. "I'm just- I'm more used to Pher and the others distracting me from everything. I'm used to burying these feelings because I don't like showing this side of myself."

Roman knew all too well what that felt like. He also knew what kind of damage could be done by hiding too much for too long.

There was no reason for Jensen to hurt himself that way when there was someone willing to carry his burdens with him.

Just like for himself, though, Roman needed to be patient when it came to taking down certain walls.

"While I'm happy to give you some distractions if that's what you prefer, I'll still be here when they stop working."

Beautiful honey eyes welled up with tears. Jensen tilted his head back to keep them from falling. He brought his bottom lip between his teeth to keep it from quivering. "Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for."

"I'm not used to you seeing me like this."

"You're human, Jay. You have feelings. It's okay."

Jensen sucked a sharp breath through his teeth. "I'm supposed to be stronger than this."

Oh...

His hesitancy to be open stemmed from more than just his grief...

"There's nothing that exists in the world capable of running forever. Everyone needs a break eventually." Roman brought his hands up to cup his friend's cheeks. He glanced between Jensen's eyes and took note of the soft light reflected in them. "If you fall, I'm here to catch you."

A tear rolled down into Roman's palm.

Jensen fought to not wipe it away himself.

"This isn't going to be easy."

"It hasn't been easy for me, yet you've stayed by my side anyway. I'd like to do the same, if you'll let me." 

With a tired sigh, Jensen finally nodded in acceptance. More tears fell in concurrence with a delicate kiss being pressed against his forehead. He buried his face in the crook of Roman's neck to hide away from the world. 

Then, Jensen simply let himself be held.