Squatting down on the sand, hugging her knees, Imani stared across the horizon with her mind blank and a heavy heart weighing her down..

The beach has been her place of solace since she moved to colombo.. it was where she came running when unable to contain the weight in her chest..

As if on cue, her mind started replaying the events of the day before on repeat .. no matter how hard she tried to block it out.. it  kept on appearing defiant as if it was on it's own mission to torment her..

Though it was an everyday occurrence for the past 18 years of her life, the hurt was as fresh as ever .. as it always was..

looking at her father after 3 months of marriage, her heart thudded against her ribcage with a new found excitement for mere seconds before it was engulfed with an all familiar terror..

A terror unreasonable for others, but for Imani it was something inevitable, something which dominated her childhood.. While the kids her age couldn't go a day without their fathers at their heels, she grew up to dread his arrival every single night.. while others lost themselves in fatherly love and warmth, an unnamed fear gripped and germinated in her fragile heart on hearing his booming voice.. gradually she got used to the abusive words and frequent slaps that accompanied them, they did sting,though  fresher and raw every single time..

Nevertheless, every night she went to bed praying with a childish optimism, that she would wake up one day and everything would fall into place and her daddy whom she adored much would be back instead of this strange man in his place who loathed her existence. but the miracle she kept looking for never came, with time she stopped praying for it and stopped hoping for such miracle to exist..

Her soul was too weak to hold onto the hate and the adversities and lament, instead she buried all aches and pains deep down the darkest corners of her heart and let go.. she hid behind every day life and pretended the other side didn't exist..

In due course, she grew rebellious in nature, she trusted and listened to none but that small voice deep down to guide her, on all endeavors thus earning her the reputation of a dissenter from all around her.. except for her granny.. who was the heart and soul of her life..

Having gone through all these, she found it absurd as to how she came to have the audacity to expect a warm word or two.. she blamed herself a simpleton for believing she would get it after all these years of turmoil..

With this, The realization that she was all alone in this wide world hit her like waves of high tide slamming against the shores .. she yearned so bad for a affable presence that her insides quivered with a deadly pain taking over herself.. Moreover she yearned for her mother, with all her might that her eyes stung venomously.. shattering away the barriers she took pain to build.. while having skated over the sticky patches for ages, her tear dam broke.. for the very first time in her life she wept, wept for all those days she slept shutting her eyes tight hoping to shut out the arguments which dominated her nights.. she wept for the days she immersed in her reading with such intensity to escape the harsh realities..for the very first time she mourned over the precious moments she would have adored in life otherwise for some selfish people.. she didn't even bothered to wipe away the tear stains adorning her cheeks..

she was brought out of her reverie when a figure slumped beside her and whispered..

" life treating you bad?"..
bewildered Imani craned her neck to look at the intruder.. she saw a girl in a pale blue scarf sitting beside her.. Gazing at the horizon with a serene look.. Imani wiped a lone tear straying down her cheeks, and hugging her knees even closer... she nodded..

" I don't ever remember life treating me good.." she sighed.. the girl cast a glance at her and and directed her eyes towards the tired rays of the sun bidding earth farewell..

"Tried praying..?" She questioned..

Before she could reply.. A tiny figure.. toddled towards the girl and wound its chubby arms around her neck

"acchu.. thaater.." it pouted.. slumping on her lap..

"My Esha ma is thirsty now? she cooed at the little girl and brought out a tiny water bottle from her bag which the girl sucked on thirstily..

" Im Azweena, but you can call me azzu.. and acchu in Esha's language.." the girl winked.. and this little angel is my niece Eshaal.." she introduced the little girl scooting closer in her lap looking at Imani with dove like eyes clouded with curiosity..

" Im Imani.." she replied..

" Eshaa ma say salam to aunty.." Azweena asked her..

"Acchamu alekum anty.." The little girl replied grinning, showing off her two front teeth.... she looked about two and was too adorable for words that Imani burst into a fat smile looking at her..

" walaikum salam baby.." she replied ruffling the girl's hair..

"Acchu.. Eshaa go play.." she informed and ran off to a man some distance away playing in the waves...

"Ashaan.. take care of Eshaal" she screamed at the guy.. and turned her attention back to Imani..

"so? tried praying?" she prompted.

"I dont see any point in doing so.." Imani replied gravely..

Azzu enclosed her hand on Imani's and gave it a tight squeeze.. and looked her in the eyes.. they were dry but it was all reflected in her eyes.. the bleakness that had sunk deeper in her orbs..

"pray.. it will make sense.." she smiled..

"I used and it still took me no where.. Now I don't find myself a reason to..and there is no way it would make sense after all this time.. " Imani smiled wryly.. partly  baffled as on how she was opening up to a random stranger..

Azweena smiled.. " as long as you walk the earth.... as  as long as your heart burst with gratitude for a thing or another.. As long as you find a reason to smile.. As long as adversities strike.. As long as it pains.. As long as you want all the pain to disappear.. As long as you breathe.. you have a reason to pray.. pray.. let it all out.. trust me when I say it your rabb is the one who is ashamed to return his believers empty hand..

I have walked through storms meant to finish me once and for all and survived rains meant to swallow me down the earth..  yet with all my parts raging on me to give up I prayed as my life depended on ot..it almost did.... here I am..alive.. breathing.. full of hope.. i trusted my lord and he didnt let me down Imani..Pray It will all make sense.." she finished defiantly..

Awe struck for words.. Imani nodded.. her mind swirled around the days she believed would bring a turn, the times her granny hugged her tight.. the books at home.. in which she lived.. she thought of Muradh.. his face stuck on her eyes vividly.. his lame jokes.. his sappy lines.. his first kiss on her forehead which still sent tingles down her spine..  unknown fusion of gratitude.. hope and love blossomed within her.. she wanted to be thankful and owe it to something.. deep down she felt obliged and she knew she had to.. but she couldn't lay a finger on it..
Tears pooling her eyes once more.. not because of the cruciating pain but of the hard realization..and all the while Azweena sat beside her holding her tight.. giving her the affable presence she was yearning for minutes ago..

After some time of chit chatting here and there, Dusting her abaya Azween got up.. while Eshaal and another little gurl about the same age toddled back towards them clutching the hands of the guy whom they were playing with.

"Until next time.. Imani..Allah hafiz.. remember.. Pray.. it will all make sense.." Azzu smiled giving her hand a squeeze.. for which Imani merely smiled..

Eshaal ran into Imani and hugged her tight.. her tiny  arms around her neck and her chubby cheeks grazing Imani's face.. and whispered adorable in her ears.. "Pwaaay.. ichll may sens.."  and walked away..

This was the way of life.. at times it causes havoc in life with segments of our own while it brings relief from places unknown.. strange.. yet.. It is life..

Assalamu alaikum w.w lovelies..

Soo here I am.. back..

Anyone remember azzu and Eshaal?

And I've got a question for you..

A single shard of hope in the dimmed roads is very powerful..  agreed?

What is hope for you?.. for me it's the mere force helping me survive..

Lemme know in comments.. and until next time..

Allah hafiz peeps..

Love.. Marwa💜❤