Author's Note: So this is sort of a 'Valentine's' episode haha (for Kylux fans I guess). I do have little Rey return in this novel at some point, but not for a little while yet. This story was never intended to be a Reylo, because Rey is 5 years old in this. It's mostly a story about 'attachment' in all it's various forms, including a parent or sibling attachment (like with little Rey), friendship (like with Phasma and Hux) and searching for what one wants/needs (kylux). Anyway, thanks for reading everyone and Happy Valentine's Day! (soon). I'll see you guys again tomorrow.

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"Ren." I hear Hux's voice and wake from an uncomfortable sleep on the floor. "It's your turn for decontamination."

I sit up and glance at the clock. I've only slept about half an hour. "I really don't feel like it," I say.

"Just go," Hux walks away and sits on the bed.

I sigh and get up slowly, then head into the washroom.

The decontamination process is slow and boring and the air is hard to breathe in the enclosed shower stall. I almost fall asleep a few times but when it's finally over I feel better, safer. If there was any chance I was carrying the Harvoth's virus I would have spread it to Phasma and Hux by morning. I get dressed, feeling slow and sluggish.

When I step out from the washroom the bedroom is all dark. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust. I see Phasma curled up and laying across the two lounge chairs, which are now facing each other and pushed together to form a little bed. She apparently didn't want to share the bed with me or Hux. I look over to the bed. It's empty.

I spot Hux sitting on the floor, reading a small tablet in his lap. I go over to the bed and remove the blanket, then set it over Phasma, tucking it in around her so it doesn't just drape down to the ground, leaving her cold. She mumbles something but doesn't wake up.

"Hey," Hux says from the corner of the room. "What about us?"

My heart speeds up a little. "What do you mean?"

Hux doesn't answer and I'm way too tired to figure him out right now. The decontamination process has drained all my energy. I walk to the bed and throw myself down onto it, then groan into the clean smelling pillow. All my muscles ache and it feels great to be laying down.

The light from Hux's tablet goes out but I can still see him in the dim glow from the stars shining outside the windows. He looks over at me but doesn't move from his spot on the floor. Is he too uncomfortable sharing the bed with me? I should just let him have it. He slept in a chair most of last night. I decide to get up, but I just can't make myself move.

Hux gets up from the floor and walks away. I close my eyes. I'll just rest for ten minutes, then I'll tell Hux to take the bed and I can sleep on the floor.

A moment later I feel a blanket land on my back and I open my eyes. Did Hux just bring me a blanket? I roll onto my back to make room for him on the bed. He looks down at the spot beside me but doesn't move. Then he finally sits down and lays onto his back, keeping as much distance between us as possible, although the bed is small and made to fit only one person. Hux has a light jacket on, which seems to me like it would be uncomfortable to sleep in.

"This game isn't right," I say softly. "Killing off other classmates that are training on the same side. We're not enemies. They're not a threat to the galaxy or to the First Order."

"They're a threat to my personal galaxy," Hux says.

"It's not the way of the Force."

"It's not the Jedi way," Hux says. "But the Force is neither good nor evil."

"I don't know if I believe that. Maybe it can be used for both good or evil, since we are free to choose. But I think it's mostly a Force of life, not death."

"You sound like a Jedi Temple Master,"

"Would you two shut up," Phasma mumbles from the other side of the room. "I'm trying to sleep here."

Hux and I stop talking and he closes his eyes. My body is exhausted but my mind can't sleep. There are too many thoughts running around in my head, but I don't want to think about any of them. A desperation grows inside of me, so strong it chokes the breath from my lungs. I sit up and remove my boots, throwing them to the ground. Then I lay back down, closer to Hux this time so that our shoulders touch. My heart beats faster and I hold my breath for his reaction.

"Don't you have enough room?" Hux says after a moment. I quickly shift down, moving as close to the wall as I can and banging my shoulder into it. I sigh and drape my arm over my eyes. I hate this. I hate feeling so desperate and not even knowing what I'm so desperate for. The pain in my chest almost brings me to tears. What's my problem? Hux is right here, beside me, even in the same bed as me. Phasma's not that far away either. I'm not alone. They've accepted me in to their group. So why do I feel so alone?

I think back to being in First Order Training at the school and how we learned about battle and survival techniques in our classes. I wish there would have been a class on this part, the part where you stop all the fighting to rest and realize that you're empty, and that the one thing you need the most seems eternally out of reach.

I take my arm away from my face and lay it beside me onto the bed, accidentally bumping Hux's arm. I look over at him. His eyes are closed and his hand is open at his side, palm up. Has he fallen asleep? I watch him for a moment then slip my hand over his palm and slowly interlace our fingers. He doesn't open his eyes but he clasps my hand tighter. I let out a slow breath, which I didn't even realize I was holding. It comes out staggered, like my breathing is after I've been crying. I squeeze Hux's hand back. Thank you.

He turns his head away from me, but continues to grip my hand, pushing our palms together. I close my eyes, too. Hux's hand warms quickly in mine, the heat filling every part of me. He's so warm. All my muscles relax and I sigh.

Now, I can sleep.