I walk into Master Snoke's study and Hux is already there. The other kids that are in the summer training for future commanders and leaders of the First Order aren't part of our personal training with Snoke, so they don't do the daily tests we do.

I stop at the door, wondering if I should just wait until Hux leaves. I hate him. He always says something to make me look bad in front of Master Snoke, and sometimes makes stuff up, but I sound stupid when I say it's not true, like I'm the one who's lying and trying to cover it up.

"Ren," Grand Master says from inside the study. I freeze. "I know you're out there. Come and join us."

I step inside, the baby bird sweating in my hand. Hux has a stupid smirk on his face and his hands are all red with blood.

"Nothing to show for yourself?" he says. "As usual."

I ignore him and walk to Master Snoke's large wooden desk and set the bird down. It moves but has lost most of its energy now, like a fish running out of air.

Master Snoke looks down and I can tell he's disappointed, even though he doesn't get angry. I take a deep breath.

"I asked for the heart my dear boy, not the entire animal."

I don't answer and Grand Master looks up at me. "You know all of these... creatures, are for our use, do you not?" he says. "They exist to help further a greater purpose, our purposes. Today it is for the purpose of your training, that this bird will be killed." He studies me a moment. "Do you feel sorry for the bird Ren?" he asks.

"No, Your Leadership."

"Then perhaps Brendol could bring us a knife?"

My breath catches but I don't say anything. The bird moves again, trying to get up from its side but unable to. I close my eyes. I hate the little girl for making me promise to take it back. I'll tell her tomorrow that I killed the bird, and I'll make her cry like Hux did. Then she'll leave me alone and not ask me to play with her anymore.

I hear Hux's hurried footsteps approaching from the hall and open my eyes. How did he find a knife so quick? He's breathing fast when he walks in. Did he run? There's an evil grin on his face that makes my stomach turn. He holds out a large kitchen knife to me. I take it and look at Master Snoke. He nods slowly.

"Don't be afraid, go ahead," he says, putting his palms out. "The bird may be innocent but sometimes we have to kill the innocent so as to show those in power that we are serious and will use any means to achieve our goal. You will not be able to save the lives of many if you cannot end a few lives when needed. Go on. The bird's sacrifice is your growth in the powers of the Force."

He's right. My grandfather killed many so that he could become ruler and bring order to the galaxy. This is just a stupid little bird. I clutch the knife handle, turning it in my hand. The bird is still alive. Why couldn't it have just died already, like a fish?

Suddenly Hux grabs the knife out of my hand and slams the blade down over the baby bird's neck. "You lose," he whispers to me, then reaches in front of me for the bird. I turn away, unable to watch. I know what I should do. I should push Hux away and do it myself and get the heart, but I can't. I've failed again.

"You've failed again," Master Snoke says, echoing my thoughts.

I turn to face him. "And for that I know I will be punished," I say. It's the response I'm supposed to give if Grand Master says I've failed. I used to try and explain why I failed, but it doesn't matter and I know Grand Master approves more of this simple response than anything else.

"For your punishment, you will stay out in the forest for the entire night. You must not sleep or even sit down, but wander deep into the forest and think about all the life around you, the life that is there to serve you, to serve all of us, feeding us and giving us air. We do not serve the creatures and plants, they serve us."

"Yes, Your Leadership," I say.

"You may both leave now."

Hux and I bow then walk out. I brace myself for Hux's ridicule once we're in the hall. But he doesn't say anything and hurries ahead of me. He's either in a really good mood or has something bad planned for me later. I look down at my cloak. There are spots of blood on it from the bird. Master Snoke is right. I am a failure.