༻𖥸❁𖥸༺ 

I am sharing my story now because it is a beautiful and emotional one, filled with confusion and difficult moments for me, and how I handled everything in both healthy and unhealthy ways. I haven't talked about my therian journey much, if at all, but I would like to share it to open people's eyes to how therian's actually "become" a therian and what they might go through, feel, experience, and so much more.

I would like to disclose some crucial information as we are on this topic. It is important for me to make this clear that not every therian is the same. My experiences will not be the same as those of the next therian you meet. As a result, don't assume that what I'm saying is how a Therian "should be" because not all therians feel or experience the same things. To be a therian, one does not have to go through everything. Therian identity is defined as...You'll just have to keep reading, dear reader, to find out.

This is going to be you guys looking through my animal eyes and walking in my paw prints in understanding the pain, joy, suffering, and happiness I have endured in this journey.

I regret nothing for who I am, what I am, who I become, and who I am becoming to understand.

For I am a wolf, and a wolf who walks alone, I am an Alpha, a leader of my future pack, (Family) and will one day find a forever mate (boyfriend/husband) who I hope will support who I am or even is one himself and supports who I am or just simply doesn't care as long as it makes me happy and doesn't make him uncomfortable.

I wish to instill in the unborn thought of my children's developing minds the value of living a unique life on this planet. I want my children to know and comprehend that no matter what they think, feel, or are, they can come to me as their mother, a helping hand in this dark world, their beacon of never ending light guiding them through whatever difficulties and uncertainty they may encounter.

Since I have also been there at some point, it will be my greatful obligation to teach my unborn children about my particular beliefs and the significance of therianthropy. I want my children to know that being who they are is acceptable and never to be afraid of it. I don't care if my children are Therians or not; all I want is for them to know and understand that I want them to live the happiest lives possible is all I can hope for them.

But as for me? Today?

I know who I am. I am a wolf. But how did I come to find that out?

Well, dear readers, come and follow in my paw prints in the winding forest as we discover the findings of how I knew I was a wolf and how I came to find out I was a wherian.

When I was six years old, I discovered that I was undoubtedly unique. Genuine therians possess the ability to recollect and enumerate fragments of their past, while they are aware of their differences, then tend to lack the comprehension of the reasons behind them.

However, as a child, I knew more than I ought to have. I'm an old soul in addition to being a therian. At the age of six, I started to understand things that I shouldn't have understood including the qualities of my surroundings. It was much too early in my life for me to even recognize that I was acting in an animalistic manner and not doing it out of child's play.

I understood that my reasoning for acting animalistic wasn't because I was a child and that's what children do, I was doing it for a whole other reason. Deep down inside of me I was acting this way because it's something that was a part of an identity that I will discover when I have become much older.

So in my case, this would have been my own age group, but I went into school late, so everyone was a year younger than me and I was a year older. However, being an old soul also means understanding the world around you far faster than your peers, being alone, reading, understanding commands or orders, and simply relating to or taking a liking/preferring to be around adults who are much older than you.

Some might speculate that because I was a year older than those around me, my mental faculties were slightly more advanced. That is accurate to some extent, but when I was younger, I always worked alone. I was able to arrange my toys on my own at the age of four, I took care of my mother from the age of four to six because she was unable to do so, I was able to understand demands and right from wrong, and I always preferred to be by myself. Additionally, whenever I played or went about my daily activities, I occasionally heard my family refer to me as an "Old Soul." Naturally, at the time, I didn't grasp the understanding of what they meant, but as I became older, I started to realize what they meant and understood they were right about me.

Being an old soul made it a little easier for me to comprehend what I was going through. I was aware of one thing and one thing only, even though I had no idea what I was really going through, I still knew one thing.

I was a wolf.

I knew deep down that I was in some way unique to them, whether or not I realized it, when I realized it, or how I realized it.

When I thought about wolves or watched any of the countless Animal Planet films when I was six years old, I just felt so alive knowing about Wolves and thinking about them.

When I got older, around the age of seven or eight, I started acting more animalistic, just like a wolf pup would. I was uncontrollably driven by urges that either I couldn't resist or that just served to feed my inner Wolf. I used to clock everything when playing tag with my friends, push myself harder, dodge faster, and play with the same intensity as when I was solving math problems in class. I completed everything with exact precision. If I got caught in tag, I would try to figure out what went wrong and fix it for the next time we played like a Wolf would in learning how to hunt.

Every time in the game of tag, I was the last person out. I felt empowered while I ran. Wolves LOVE to run, in case anyone is unaware, Wolves genuinely do it for enjoyment and, most of the time, have no ulterior motive. My favorite game was tag because it had me push myself, breathe in time with my heartbeat, and calculate every bend, twist, and pace of travel. It also appealed and tickled my animalistic side as a whole when I ran.

And that's what I loved about tag. I found it was breathtaking for me. It most closely resembled who I am. I felt alive because of it.

But as time passed, I started to realize more aspects of who I was. When I felt unhappy or threatened by something I couldn't directly overcome, no matter how much I wanted to, I would softly whimper and growl at it. Above all, though, I would love to howl. However, I mostly did this in playing tag related games to hide the fact that, as these started to show when I was nine or eleven, I felt more animalistic and I didn't want people to think weird of me if I randomly howled like a wolf.

Other times when I realized more aspects of who I was, I would feel like I was missing my ears or tail too while I was going through all these things at a young age. Depending on the volume of noise, I would respond accordingly. Even though I know I don't really have wolf ears, at this young age I felt as though they would press flat against my head if the noise I was hearing got too noisy.

I used to even picture myself with paws, thinking I had them. I always thought I could jump up and run on all fours while I was running, but I never did because I was afraid I would injure myself. I have extremely bad foot alignment, which means that sometimes when I run, it's really easy to twist my ankle and severely badly injure it. So I never did it, but I always felt I could and had the urges very badly to run on all fours.

I had no understanding of what I was feeling. All I knew was that no one else was experiencing what I was, so I decided to hide it. But that was severely undermined. I didn't really start to have control over my life until I was in the fifth or sixth grade when I had an accident with my inner Wolf, which prompted me to hide who I was a lot more than I did at the time.

In fifth grade at school, I inadvertently, unintentionally growled at a classmate and nearly got caught by my friends when she growled back at me. My friends had asked if the reason she growled at me was because I growled at her. I laughed nervously and lied saying I didn't do such a thing and had no idea why she growled at me.

Luckily my friends believed me and they didn't question if I actually growled at the girl first and that's why she growled at me. After that, at the tender age of eleven, I had to force myself to deal with and overcome the urges my animalistic instincts were asking me to follow.

It was not simple. I wanted to give in to every animal urge I could muster when I was still extremely young and energetic. However, I was unable to. I had to constantly tell myself that I was different from the other kids, and that I should disguise who I was. I didn't want what happened to me in fifth grade to happen when I was much older.

I didn't want to get bullied or picked on by the other kids, lose my friends, and be ultimately alone. Because the kids, they got over their animal phases, but I never got over it. I had nobody to relate to or even talk to, so it got really difficult for me. I kept it inside for years and still do. Very few individuals are aware of my identity and my core beliefs as far as family goes and friends. Most people online or even in my workplace know what I am, but my family does not.

Since I'm very concealed when it comes to my family, I tell people online, rather than people outside the online world. People online don't seem to care as much as some of my friends and family would in not understanding who and what I was. So who cares who knows for sure? When others did find out within my life, they either didn't give a damn or felt awkward about me identifying as a furry. This occurred much before I ever realized therians existed or were even a thing. Thus, I was identifying as a furry in this chronological setting.

However, at age eleven, I had no idea what a furry was. Oh no, I was unaware of them until I was seventeen. I was aware of the term when I started middle school, but I didn't really give it much thought until I was seventeen years old. At that point, I began to identify as a furry and still felt like I belonged in the wrong group.

We'll get to all that later.

Nevertheless, the point I'm trying to make is that therian's have been going through situations like this for years and years. Or additional connections associated with therians for an extended period of time.

As early as four years old, some therians will remember themselves acting differently or understanding something was off about them. It wasn't until I was six years old that I began to realize how different I was from my peers. It is challenging for people to assert that they are even therians because of this. You must have experienced this kind of feeling for a very long time to even begin calling yourself a therian and must go through your Awakening before one can properly declare they are a therian.

You can't have days, weeks or months knowing about this. For some people, it's almost been their whole entire lives when they discover they are a therian and the feelings they have felt is how the therian community can help answer their puzzling questions they might have.

For me, it's pretty much been my whole entire life. I'm twenty-something years old now and to this day I am still a wolf.

I believe I will die knowing I am still a wolf. I just hope I return in my true form as this human body isn't what my true self asked for.

For I am a wolf and I am proud.