and taehyung thought it was gonna be a long long time to reach the moon

"why are you trying this hard, you know it's not gonna work", jungkook once said, with a touch of pity laying underneath his voice, but taehyung was used to it, this wasn't the first time jungkook reminded taehyung of how ridiculous he was. of course taehyung remembered, he consistently kept everything in track, counting and counting, pencil in pocket, ready to fill up his what-did-people-say note.

"but seokjin would be alone there," the answer was always the same, even if he had learned better than to think hope was measured in how well his fingers could grip at the moonlight, "and he would be sad, nobody deserves to be unhappy"

it quite sounded like a frivolous excuse he had made up to skip eating vegetables when he was a child, but simultaneously, it didn't. taehyung just hadn't really understood why he was prone to obsession with the moon, and seokjin.

sometimes, taehyung thought he was dreaming, as he lied in his bed and looked up the ceiling of his small room, where the moonlight illuminated the wall through his curtain-less window. he struggled to lift one of his hand, watching his fingers intertwined with the fluorescent light. his eyes was wide-opened, but his mind was hazy, blurred with the crash of the chaos of voices, telling him to find seokjin.

sometimes, in that kind of dream, he wondered if he knew who seokjin was. the voices repeated his name as if taehyung ought to have known that already, and taehyung felt the name sink under his skin and write itself in the flesh beneath like an invisible tattoo. but eventually he still couldn't recall who seokjin was.

and sometimes, when taehyung couldn't sleep, he let himself bath underneath the cold light of the moon and somehow, his heart burnt and ached, air left his lungs and there was nothing to hold onto, only the faint image of the moon and everything was empty and dark, he felt like he was missing from something, something significant, something had always been a part of him. but no matter how hard he tried to ask the moon, he still couldn't get a single answer, so he cried.