I had checked on Y/N just a few hours before Hiei texted me the news. This isn't really news I wanted to get over a text message but I doubt Hiei was thinking about that right now. He's hurting right now. I use my spare key to unlock the door to Y/N's house and head inside. "Hiei?" I call out, heading towards her room. He didn't answer me but honestly I didn't expect him to, not at a time like this. I open the door to her bedroom. Hiei was holding her hand with his head on the bed.

"This is all my fault," he mutters, "if I hadn't left, this wouldn't have happened."

"Don't blame yourself for this, you didn't know this was going to happen."

"You're wrong, I was selfish because I was scared of screwing up my relationship with Y/N!" He shouts.

"Hiei, can I tell you something?" I ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He didn't answer but he did look up which told me he was listening. "Y/N was absolutely miserable without you. She told me that you'd left right when y'all got to a good place. She wouldn't talk to me no matter how much I pushed. After like an hour, she got pissed off and stormed back to her place. It started storming not even 30 minutes later, I just thought the weather was bad and by the time I realized it was Y/N causing the storm, it was too late, she was gone and her window was broken into."

Hiei looked up at me, "was she really that miserable without me?"

"Yes, she was. She loved you."

Hiei squeezed Y/N's hand tighter, "why did she have to die? It isn't right, I should have been able to protect her."

I walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, "it's not your fault, don't beat yourself up over this."

"I don't think you understand. While we were in the hospital, she was too weak to control her powers unless I was beside her. I got up to get a doctor because her head hurt and when I did, her powers went haywire. I ran back over to her and intertwined our hands, causing her to calm down. She went back to normal," Hiei explains. "What's weird though is that there have been plenty of times that she couldn't control it around me."

"It sounds like you were her anchor. Most likely, since she was in a weakened state, she lost all control unless you were around. Don't forget, she wasn't born a demon, it was harder for her body to adjust."

"I really wished I'd known that before I left her side, maybe she'd still be alive."

"Don't think like that, you can't blame yourself for her death." I stand up, "I'm going back to my place, don't forget that we need to bury her soon. It's up to you whether or not we have an actual funeral." I make my way out of Y/N's house and over to mine.

I can't believe Y/N's gone. I lay down on the couch and grabbed the pillow Y/N always used when she came over. I held it close to my chest and squeezed my eyes shut. "Y/N," I mutter, "why did you have to leave my house. If you'd stayed, I could've protected you..." Damn, I'm such a hypocrite, I tell Hiei not to blame himself then I go and blame myself for her death. I sigh and let myself fall asleep on the couch.

The next morning, I woke up and frowned. We were having a funeral for Y/N today. I sighed and got dressed before making myself something to eat. Today is going to suck. There isn't going to be many people there today, just the friend group really. Once I had put food in my system, I made my way outside and towards the cemetery. I sighed as I walked, looking up at the sky. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. I loved her but I never got to tell her all because I thought she'd be happier with someone else.

At the cemetery, I walked over to the others who were already there, staring at the hole in front of them that was holding the coffin. Hiei had a blank look on his face, blinking back tears, obviously trying to hide them. Keiko was crying softly as she buried her head in Yusuke's shoulder. Yukina was holding onto Kuwabara's arm tightly as she sniffled softly, and Kuwabara rubbed her arm, trying to comfort her. Botan was staring at the ground and Yusuke was comforting Keiko. We all stood there in silence as we watched the coffin get lowered into the ground. No one said anything, we weren't sure what to say. All we wanted was for her to come back to us. 

I loved her...I just never told her the truth...