Stella's POV:

My mouth was agape and my heart was just about to burst out of my chest.

Why did these things always happen to me?

I deserved it. There is no way I'm escaping this one.

I suddenly forced a fake smile on my face, trying to make it seem as real as possible.

"H-Harry! I didn't expect you to be here but uhm I missed you!" I said half excited, half nervous. I don't know if I would've even believed it though because my tone was as fake as can be, in all honesty.

He smiled, revealing his famous dimples.

Frick those dimples that always gave me butterflies.

It's not time for butterflies, go away you beautiful stomach creatures.

He hugged me and I hugged him back.

Oh gosh the guilt is killing me.

Suddenly Ty spoke.

"Hey Styles. Uh yeah I'm gonna be heading back now. See ya Stella." He said awkwardly.

"See ya." Was all I said before he walked out the door.

It was then I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror on my wall and almost faint.

I looked like living trash.

My hair was messy, I had make up smudged all over my face, and my eyes were red from crying.

How the heck did Ty kiss this thing?

"Oh gosh I look awful. I'm so sorry I just -"

"Hey it's okay babe. You've had a tough day." He said, and I just faked a smile- again.

I'm going to absolutely puke.

Suddenly, as if my eyes had a mind of their own, they started pouring out tears.

I let out sobs of guilt and covered my face.

"I-I can't- Jane and then Ty- he..." I said in between sobs and he looked at me with the most pitiful look.

I couldn't look at him in the eyes.

I was literally drowning in shame and guilt.

How would I tell him?

I didn't have Jane to ask for advice and Ty wasn't really an option.

All I knew was that kissing Ty didn't feel the same way it felt when I kissed Harry.

I realized Ty was my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Hey shh, Stella don't stress out. It's not your fault." He said and I decided to just say it.

"No it's not Harry. It's not okay! I'm a horrible person and unloyal girlfriend. I'm so sorry. It didn't mean anything." I said overdramatically and he looked confused.

"What? Stella what are you talking about?"

Goodness, he must've thought I was crazy.

And just like how it was easy to give into the temptation to kiss Ty, the temptation to lie came over me.

"He spent the night last night. And we cuddled but it was just because I was practically drunk on tears. I was feeling awful. I'm sorry." I lied and he just nodded.

"Of course I understand. You're his best friend. I get it. You needed some company. It's fine." He said sweetly and I just smiled.

That smile that hides it all.

And I knew in that moment that I deserved everything that happened to me and more.

Call me pathetic.

But there was nothing worse than seeing the sunshine on an afternoon of pure darkness, and seeing a rainbow form knowing everything would be only black and white from now on, and knowing that even if you see a shooting star there's nothing you could wish for because everything you'd wish for once, you'd gotten already and part of you swore there was someone- anyone out there, with a selfish soul and wished for all that to be gone.

And now all you have are bits of wonderful memories, and once in a while maybe, there'll be a scent that brings it back and you'll see someone's eyes that remind you of it but you never quite get it back because of course, it's gone.

Everything is gone.

The laughs and cries of that one person who was indeed your everything is now gone. And there's nothing you can do but wish for them back. And not even wishing is enough sometimes.

And suddenly, as you realize you've lost that person, you realize they're not the only ones gone because yourself is also nowhere to be found.

And your soul just hides, almost making you think you're dead inside.

But sometimes, you smile and come back alive because you realize that even if they're gone they really aren't.

They still live in your memories and stories.

But right now, I felt I deserved it. Because my selfish self got in the way.

And now it was better to speak than letting the guilt kill me.

"No. That's not true... That's not really what happened. I kissed him. And I don't deserve you but it meant nothing. And I see why you would want to leave. So it's okay." I whispered and it was quiet for what seemed like forever.

He sighed.

"No I'm not mad. I'm a bit upset but I see why you would. It's okay I understand you were confused and with everything coming at you at once you just did a stupid thing. We all make mistakes." He said and my mouth was agape.

I couldn't look at him.

He was too sweet.

"I- thanks." I whispered, having nothing else to say.

Suddenly I realized he was letting me off the hook too easily.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You did something too didn't you?" I said and he suddenly looked away for a second but then quickly looked at me again.

"I didn't really-"

"Whatever it was I forgive you but for now I think it's best we're both on our own for a bit. I need some major emotional recovering so just go get some rest too because you must be tired also. Love ya Harry, I'll see you tomorrow." I said and he didn't say anything besides goodbye and to stay safe.

He then walked out the door and I let out a sigh.

What a day...

***

SO YEAH THIS SUCKED AND YES IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPDATE BECAUSE AT THIS POINT I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I GET NO FEEDBACK FROM ANYONE SO IM NOT REALLY SURE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN

IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO CHEESY AND AWFUL AND I HATE EVERY SENTENCE OF IT AND IT IS INCERDIBLY SHORT I DEARLY APOLOGIZE

VERY SORRY BUT IF U SEE THIS I REALLY HOPE U CAN LEAVE JUST A COMMENT OR A VOTE OR BOTH PREFERABLY HAHA IT TAKES LIKE FIVE SECONDS AND IT WOULD BE GREAT HELP OKAY THANK YOU

IM SORRY ABOUT THE SLOW UPDATES BUT IF THERE'S ANYONE READING STILL THANK YOU SO MUCH ILY