Trigger Warning- panic attack, talk of suicide

🌩Virgil's P.O.V🌩

Ok so Roman turned out fine he was just slightly faded which freaked Patton out. With a day left to plan we decided that we'd tell Roman and Patton what really happened. We also got Deceit and Remus here to go over the plan.

"You ready to go?" I look at Logan and nod. We decided that since they'll all forget about it anyways that it doesn't matter if I show my ears or not. Which ultimately led to me wearing a long sleeved crop top and black jeans, my ears and tail both showing.

I wonder how Roman will react. I mean, I know Patton will yell at me to go change IMMEDIATELY. Or, at least, future Patton would. I should wear this when I get back. No cause my tail... I don't know maybe I'll show future them too.

"You think this'll keep them quiet?" We leave Logan's room and walk down the empty hall. We told them to meet us in the living room so I won't have to worry about it right now. Our original reasoning for me wearing this is because we believe they'll all be speechless (for multiple different reasons) so we can talk to them without interruptions.

I have Logan go down the stairs first so that all eyes are on him in the beginning and I can calm myself down because I know I'll begin to freak out I'm doing it right now and oh god I need to calm down.

"Logic! What's going on? Why are these two here?" Roman sounds mad. Maybe this isn't a good idea. I mean it's too late now but I really should've considered this outcome.

"Well, me and Anxiety need to... straighten a few things out." He motions for me to come down the stairs and I silently curse him out for not taking all the attention. I walk down the steps, trying to keep my cool.

I reach Logan at the bottom of the stairs and look at the couch, seeing Roman, Patton, Remus, and Deceit sitting there staring at me. I feel my ears lightly pressing against my head and I lower my tail a little, moving it so it's wrapping around my left leg.

This was not a good idea.

Patton looks confused, Roman looks amazed and... more than slightly interested, and Deceit and Remus look like they can't believe I still have this outfit.

"All it needs is the collar to complete the look..." I hear Remus mumble and I feel a faint blush creep on my cheeks.

"Right. So, this is not the only thing we need to let you guys in on, considering that two of you already knew about this." Deceit winks at me and Remus smirks and I look at Logan, motioning the others to do the same.

"As you two know," He stops for a second to motion to Patton and Roman. "Anxiety has been a little.. Off... Lately." Roman and Patton nod and look at each other.

"Ok, to put this as simply as I can, this isn't our Anxiety." Immediately all the others look confused. So at least they're listening.

"Let me explain, this Anxiety came from 2019. We don't know why or how he got here but he did. So for the past few days we've been working on a way to get him back to his time. We think we found the solution, but with how much each of us change between these time periods, it's important that we catch up with his time zone. In his time, from what I've gathered, we all know each other's names. That's how he knew yours, Roman because in a point in time somewhere in the future you tell us. The only name we don't have is Deceit's. And, me, Morality, and Roman don't know the Duke's name until halfway through his episode. So we have come up with the entire script for the episode with a different ending and that, Deceit, is where you come in. Roman you're knocked out for basically all of the episode so you don't have to worry about getting perfect at this within 2-3 days if not sooner."

Roman scoffs, offended and I smile. What? His brother his getting all the spotlight while he has next to none.

"Thomas does not yet know ANYTHING about this and he won't until the day of the video. And, if you don't wish to participate, then let me make something clear."

Logan's voice turns darker and more serious. We spent a tad bit of time in my room practicing this part.

"Roman has already started taking on the affects of Anxiety's being here. If you fail to participate, I have reason to believe that we will all fade out of existence and Thomas will be forced to restart his life emotionless. No sense of fear, right or wrong, no spark of creativity, and no knowledge. He will just be living. We all care about our host, so we're all going to do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen. Are we all clear?"

Everyone nods and I smile, happy that they're willing to do this for me. I don't think Patton's quite figured everything out yet because he looks lost.

Patton gasps and smiles brightly at me. He probably just realized.

"Wait so you're from the future?! Oh that's so cool! Is that why you seem a lot more trusting?" I chuckle nervously and feel my ears press against my head again.

I guess Logan caught on to this because I feel his hand land on my shoulder comfortingly. I look at him and hear Deceit growl.

"It's ok. Morality is just excited. Why don't we all exchange names, if you're comfortable with it, so that we won't mess up during the video. We don't know Deceit or Duke's name yet so just hold off you two. " I nod slowly and take a deep breath, looking at Patton and Roman.

"Well, you guys already know my name is Roman." I look at Patton and give him a small smile. He looks nervous.

"Calm down. Me and Lo already know your name." Patton nods and looks at the kitchen.

"I'm Patton." My smile disappears as I remember Roman's first reaction to my name. It doesn't help that he barely likes me to begin with.

"My name is Logan." I look at Logan and silently plead him to tell them for me. I don't wanna be the one to say it. I told him my name by accident on my first night here. When I get the hint that he won't do it for me I sigh.

"I'm.. I'm Virgil." I close my eyes and wait for the laughing, insulting, just anything. When nothing happens I open my eyes and see everyone smiling at me, seeming to understand.

"Great. So now that we're done with that why don't you go and explain the video." Right. I wrote it down but it's still upstairs and there's no way I'm turning my back on these guys.

"Ok so, Thomas didn't get any sleep the night before due to me and Patton and comes to us for help. Roman doesn't know what's going on and Logan gets close to telling him but me and Patton are so disturbed by what happened that we change the topic to a movie. Then whole talking about it Duke shows up and smacks Roman across the head with his mace, knocking Roman out."

Remus and Roman glare at each other, Roman just glaring and Remus glaring with a smirk.

"Then Duke does this song to introduce himself but Thomas is so delusional that even after the song he has no idea who he is. So basically then Duke becomes a nuisance while me and Patton try to solve the problem while shutting Logan up repeatedly. Eventually he points out that the Duke isn't the issue, it's me and Patton. So once he calms us down he convinces Thomas to go to sleep the Duke leaves. Then Roman wakes up and we celebrate his presence for a minute before you three sink down. Then it's just me and Thomas and I reveal something about myself that almost gets me killed by Roman. That last part isn't in the video but off camera Roman tried to kill me."

I watch everyone immediately glare at Roman, while Logan just looks at me in concern.

"You never told me anything about that." I shrug and look down.

"I assumed you wouldn't really care, considering everything else I told you." I hear Remus 'ooo' in a suggestive tone. I feel some sort of anger and sadness flick in me and I glare up at Remus, yelling with tears in my eyes.

"It's not like any of you will remember this! I get back and everything gets reset! None of you will remember any of this! Every bit of progress I make here, every action I take, no matter what I do it won't matter! Even if I manage to make Princey hate me less, even if I get Deceit and Remus off my back, even if I help Patton with his repression, even if I keep Logan from-"

My voice cuts out and I fall on my knees. I bury my face in my hands as tears fall from my eyes. I haven't been this emotional in so long. Last time I was this emotional is when Deceit got into my room around Christmas.

I start shaking and sink down, teleporting into my room. I feel a huge weight against my chest and I gasp for air, my throat tightening restricting any breathing.

I wrap my hands around my throat gently and try my breathing exercise, but it doesn't work. I can't breathe. At all. Which sends me into even more of a panic.

I can feel my entire body shaking violently as I struggle to get as much air as possible.

"I apologize for this in advance" I freeze and feel arms wrap around my waist, lifting me off the ground. By the voice I assume it's Logan. I look behind me and up and see Logan walking me somewhere, a look of determination on his face.

I fully turn around and wrap my legs around his waist, holding him close. He looks down at me and smiles slightly, making me relax a bit.

He turns us around and sits down on my bed, me being on his lap. I hide my face in the crook of his neck and manage to breathe in his scent. I can't quite place what he smells like but it's nice and calming.

I start purring as he rubs behind my ears. I feel his chin rest on my shoulder and my purring gets louder as one of his hands gently stroke my tail.

He starts whispering sweet nothing's in my ear, causing me to slowly stop shaking. I feel my throat loosen up and I take a deep breath, starting back up on my breathing exercise.

"So what is it that I do?" I whine as he stops petting behind my ears and he starts it up again.

"I... I don't really wanna think about it.." Logan hums and starts stroking my tail closer to the base, causing me to purr loudly and whine a bit.

"Such a shame. If I knew maybe I could write something down to keep me from doing it I mean, yes I'll forget but if it's written down then..." I move back a small bit and look him in the eyes. I decide that he's not kidding and I look away.

"Fine... You.." I feel tears in my eyes as I think about that moment of pure fear.

"You tried to die... Logan." I look back at him and see his shocked expression.

"Wait so, I tried to commit suicide?" I nod and let out a shaky breath at the thought of it. October 29th, 2018. Around 2 in the morning. That's when I found him, anyways.

"Why? Why would I do that?" I whine and shake my head, feeling my ears press harshly against my head.

"The note you wrote didn't explain much. Just that you were feeling useless and not needed. You weren't being listened to and you were being pushed aside and-and I didn't know what to do when I found you- it was around two in the morning and I couldn't wake anyone else up and I tried- I tried so hard to he-help you on m-my own but I c-couldn't so I scr-screamed a-and ju- jus-just th-e- the look on the o-other's faces when t-they ran into the roo-room I couldn't- I couldn't h-hand-handle it."

My eyes start to sting as hot tears stream down my face. I hate thinking about it. That whole scenario was horrible. I freaked out so bad I almost shot myself.

Logan pulls me as close to him as possible, petting my head gently.

"Shh it's ok, I'm guessing I lived though. What did Patton and Roman do when they found me?"

"I d-don't know.. I-I ran out of t-the room once t-they came in"

"Well then what did you do?"

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