"Sho-chan? Oh uh Kozume-chan hi" Tooru awkwardly cut himself off when he saw Kenma behind me. "I-uh-hi?" I was really confused as to why he was in my bed-under my covers-snuggling my teddy-scrolling through his phone with the window open. "I know about you two" Kenma spoke in his usual emotionless monotone voice. He simply released himself from my grip and went to sit on the end of my bed without a care in the world. "I- you do?"

"You both underestimate how observant I am, when you look hard enough it's obvious you're just lucky your teams are idiots" "no my team already know it's just everyone else that doesnt" for some reason that made the sinking feeling of guilt grow more at the thought of me telling a whole team before my best friend, and my own team. Not to mention Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi too! How could I tell people I barely know before the people I'm closest too? I'm a horrible pers- "Sho you ok?" I shook my head quickly and flicked my eyes to Tooru once he snapped me out of it. "Y-yeah".

I took a seat next to Kenma while Tooru was still wrapped up in my quilt lying on his back but slightly sat up so he could see us. "I take it you guys came to talk about the whole panic attack thing" "how did you know I had a panic attack?" "Suga talks, only to me though dw"I glared at him the turned back to Kenma placing a hand on top of his as they fidgeted awkwardly. "I'm really sorry Kenma! I should never have freaked out like that and I feel awful" he shook his head grabbing my hands firmly "I should've taken you somewhere else to talk, or texted, or not done it during practice, I shouldn't have brought up the figure skating thing so abruptly either-" "wait so he knows about that too?!"

"Basically Kenma pointed out he thought we were dating and then said he knew I skated, I freaked out and passed out and then woke up and yelled at my dads. I don't blame you at all Kenma I should never have hid it from you" "everyone's entitled to their own secrets Shoyo, but I'm glad you've forgiven me" "I was never mad in the first place, well maybe at myself but not you" "I'm glad, now I guess I'll leave you to spend some time with your boyfriend, or boyfriend-to-be I take it" "thanks Kenma, tell Suga I'm heading to bed, he'll understand since I assume he's the one that sent the guy" he nodded at both of us and waved slightly as I shut the door with a huge fake grin on my face.

I turned around with my 'cheerful' act still on and went to get in bed beside Tooru when I heard him sigh. "You can stop with the fake smile Sho-chan, you know I can tell" my face returned to its normal slight frown and sad eyes and when Tooru lifted up the quilt and opened his arms I couldn't resist diving into them.

Oikawa PoV (I don't think I've done him before)

The second the small boy crawled into my chest I knew something was wrong that he hadn't told anyone. By the sounds of Suga's text he wouldn't tell anyone why he had a panic attack and they didn't trust him alone for some reason 'which I knew was because of the cuts and stress he was under'. I pulled his chin out of my chest and gave him a closed eye smile before planting a soft, sweet kiss on his lips, "you know you can always tell me exactly how you feel. We're all worried about you but I can't help you if I don't know what goes on in that beautiful mind of yours."

He looked down again and his body began to shake, he let out a heart braking sob and clutched my shirt so tightly his knuckles went white. My arms made their way around his waist and to his back, letting him cuddle up close to me and let everything out, "shh it's ok, sometimes you just need to cry"
"I'm s-sorry" Huh why is he apologising? "It's your birthday and yet you're stuck here babysitting me and dealing with all my issues" I brushed the hair out of his face and stared into his beautiful sunset orange eyes. "Don't apologise, my birthday isn't a big deal and I'd rather spend it with you anyway. And I'm not babysitting you, if I didn't want to be here Suga could've just as easily invited Tobio-chan to stay with you tonight but he didn't because I want to be here. Don't forget you aren't the only one with problems"

I pressed my lips to just beneath his eye where the tears were rolling down and that seemed to help him calm down. "I-I just, I feel so guilty about everything! And I want to cut my arms so badly but I know I can't and I feel so uncomfortable like I'm desperate but I know I shouldn't and you're here so I can't, not that it's a bad thing you're here! But you Get me" "Shoyo, you have nothing to feel guilty about ok? I really like you and as long as I'm here I won't let you hurt yourself no matter how bad you want to" he closed his eyes tight and shook his head which confused me.

"No you don't get it! If I weren't competing here or if I never began skating, my mum wouldn't have to pay for my stuff all the time and worry about both me and Natsu, if I never competed here she wouldn't have gotten in that car to come here, she never would've been in that crash and she wouldn't be on deaths door! If I didn't invite her down she wouldn't have crashed and I wouldn't have lost focus and injured myself! If I weren't so stupid I wouldn't have been so rude to Kenma while all he did was try and talk to me and I wouldn't have yelled at my parents when they offered me help! Everything's my fault and I shouldn't even be here, I'm so useless why do you even like me? I'm so stupid, fat, ugly, disappointing, worthless-"

"Shoyo stop it!" I had had enough of all the lies and felt the need to stop him. Harshly, yet passionately, I kissed his lips slowly and forcefully but with emotion behind it. "Don't. Ever. Say. That. again. Nothing is your fault and you are none of those things, if I ever hear you call your skinny ass fat again I will literally kidnap you and cuddle you all day" "but how does someone like you like someone like me? You could have literally anyone because who wouldn't want you. And you pick me? Seems like a bad choice" those words triggered something in me.

What he didn't know is that I had thought those exact things not too long ago, I never had confidence I just pretended I did. "Shoyo, don't ever compare yourself to me ok? I- no one but Iwa-chan and my mother know but I had anorexia until barely even a few months ago. It got so bad that I was hospitalised and that's when I realised that I needed to stop and get help. But now I live with the fact that everytime I skip a meal or simply am not hungry I am terrified of a relapse, and so are Hajime and my mum. They constantly check up on me and I have to live knowing that I caused them trouble and worry them. But because of that I guess I know slightly what you mean, and that's why I worry about you, I know what it's like to feel like a burden but you will never be one to me ok? My team loves you, all you need to do is show up and I'll drop everything in a heart beat. Whether it's you calling me at ungodly hours or just randomly appearing at my school or house I won't care, because I really like you Shoyo and I want to be there for you."

He was so shocked he could barely breath. It felt nice to finally get that off my chest but for a second I was worried that I scared him off. "I'm sorry for scaring you, I'll make sure I look after myself, and I'll make sure you eat too so you never have to worry anyone again. I really like you too I'm so sorry, thank you for staying with me" I shook my head and reassured him that it was fine. "Well, if you still feel bad about my birthday you could always come stay at my inn tonight, you were planning on it anyway right? So we could go now, pretty sure Iwa-chan wants to celebrate and I'd feel better if you were there" "I'd like that"

I pulled back the quilt and stood up picking him up quickly and holding him close to my chest and heading for the window. Placing a kiss in his forehead I put him down grabbing our shoes and my phone and then we left.

'Bfs parents'

Me: turns out he had a panic attack because Kenma said he figured out we liked each other and that Shoyo skates and he freaked out. He felt embarrassed about it though

Yuri: thank god he's alright, you aren't leaving him alone tonight at all

Me: didn't plan on it, he said he felt like he needed to cut but I cuddled him and he feels less uncomfortable

Victor: are you going to be coming out for dinner? Want me to bring you both some

Me: no its alright, I'm taking him to my inn since he felt bad for me missing my team celebrating. It'll be better with him anyway and he was supposed to be staying anyway

Yuri: ok thank you

Did he mention our fight earlier?

Me: he said he feels guilty about his mums crash saying it's all his fault, and he feels guilty about your fight and Hiding everything from Kenma. He felt bad that my team knows and yet his closest friends (Kenma, Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi) dont know. He feels bad about not telling his team but it's much harder so he doesn't feel as bad as hiding it from his best friends

Victor: understandable but your team support him right?

Me: they don't know about the skating although I think Iwa-chan might figure it out, and yeah they all love him and tell me constantly that if I don't ask him out they will

Makki and Mattsun are great at cheering him up.

Yuri: thank you Oikawa, were very greatful

Me: call me Tooru, Oikawa is too formal

And you're welcome I'm glad to help

This chapter isn't proof read so please point out spelling mistakes or bits that don't make sense

I was tagged-

I was tagged by Tsukki_and_Yamaguchi

My zodiac is Virgo- it's my birthday august 26th :)

My favourite game is probably tomb raider

My favourite artist is Nico Collins or all time low

'Say something to your fans/followers' thank you all for reading my stories! I have 2 more haikyuu books in my drafts and I have a few chapters written already but I what to be able to post a lot at the same time so I'm not posting them yet. Thank you for commenting! I love reading them and replying to them!

Favourite movie is dead pool/dead pool 2 favourite show is Brooklyn 99 or Archer

Did you know seagulls only go out to sea to die? They actually live on land so sailors used to use them to signal where the nearest dry land was because they always fly around land. (I didn't google that I already knew)

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm lazy and don't know anyone 😰