CHAPTER THREE- Blabbering

[BLABBERING- n. a form of relieving the stress given to one by a book; commonly used by fangirls.] --Definition taken from the Oxford Fangirls' Dictionary---

Blabbering is not at all uncommon among fangirls.

Infact, surveys conducted by the Unicorn Foundation (and they're bound to be accurate) show that every fangirl has blabbered at least once in her life.

The same concept has been applied to fanboys.

[ FANBOY- n. The inverted specimen of a fangirl. Classified into the 'Nearly extinct' classing. They are more restrained and calm. However, some act in the same manner as fangirls. We shall come back to this subject in a later chapter.]
--Definition taken from the Oxford Fangirls' Dictionary---

One of the most essential things a fangirl needs in her life is someone to blabber to because talking to a panda pillow pet 24/7 can really hurt a person's dignity.

A little brother - as I have discovered through recent experiments - is an ideal source to blabber to.

Give them one of those modern devices they use, ipads and ipods.

This way, not only will you be happy but your little brother will be as well.

These words can be proven by the quote of a famous person- Sir Jolly Swagman (now celebrating his 1000th birthday)
-"When someone of a very little age has a minecraft or an Optumis Prime or whatever in their hands, they shalt be perfectly content."

You can blabber all you want and your little brother won't tell you to "Shut up."

Now, if you are lacking little brothers, a little sister would be ideal for blabbering too. But never blabber to an older brother or sister - unless you wear protective armour and know for a fact that you would be safe (an invisibility cloak or a yankees cap is also suggested).

Types of Blabbering

Blabbering could occur very unexpectedly at times.

°•○●This is circumstantial blabbering.

Circumstantial blabbering could occur due to sudden influxes of fangirling.

You may have noticed- when you think about a subject even remotely related to your fandom, your mind will dwell further and further into the deaths of the fangirl base. Then, quite like a nucleur explosion, you would feel the sudden urge to fangirl.

These are the subsequent effects of circumstantial blabbering.

Blabbering could also occur in minor forms.

°•○● This type of blabbering is more commonly refered to as incidental blabbering.

Incidental blabbering is the less enthusiastic type.

This occurs when the fangirl is tired but still feels the need to blabber to someone.

Out of the two types of blabbering, incidental blabbering is of less danger.

An Example of a Circumstantial Blabber

Situation: Emily reads the final sentence of the Blood of Olympus. She shuts the book and stares at it for a while before looking up.

Her little brother walks into the room at that moment, a pokemon toy in hand.

EMILY: I just finished the Blood of Olympus.

LITTLE BROTHER: Cool *continues playing with his 'Charmander'*

EMILY: I JUST FINISHED THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS!!! OMG!!!

LITTLE BROTHER: *makes whooshing noises as he pretends that an airplane is crashing into his Charmander*

EMILY: OH MY GODS, OH MY GODS, I FINISHED THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS! ANJDGSKAHDHSIDHSISUHD! *gasp* ITS OVER, PERCY JACKSON IS OVERRRRR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BUT OMG! LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND NICCCCOOOOOOOO AND REYNA AND OMGOMGOMG BUT SIRIUSLY!! RICK RIORDAN IS SO CRAZY!!! HE DIDNT EVEN ADD ANY PERCY CHAPTERS, HOW DEPRESSING! I MEAN, I GET THIS WHOLE THING WITH JASON, PIPER AND LEO STARTING THE QUEST AND THEM THREE ENDING IT BUT REALLLLY!?!? COULDNT HE HAVE ADDED JUST ONE, JUST ONE PERCY CHAPTER!? OR AN ANNABETH CHAPTER IN THE LEAST!?

LITTLE BROTHER: Swooosh! Charmander down! Charmander down! Pokeball, go! Master ball, activate! Yes!

EMILY: *hysteric sobbing* LEOOOOOOOO LEOOOOOOOOO CALEOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *shakes little brother* LEOOOOOOOO

LITTLE BROTHER: *while being shaken* Charmander! No! We are being swept away by a hurricane! Ahhhh!

EMILY: LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breaks the O sound in her vocal chords*

An Example of Incidental Blabbering

Situation: Sally is made to go to sleep. She is tired but NEEDS to blabber.

SALLY: Hey, mum...

MUM: Yes, sweetie?

SALLY: I started reading this book called he lightning thief and... *yawn* it's really good.

MUM: That's great, honey. Now go to sleep.

SALLY: But it's soooooo good! I mean, *yawn* there's this guy called Percy and by the way, *yawn* I REAAALY want him to end up with Annabeth- she's a daughter of Athena and oh yeah, the greek gods live in New York. Can we go to New York next summer vacation? And there's this half horse *yawn* called Chiron and-

MUM: *extremely confused* Yes, that's all very good, sweetie. Now go to sleep. Good night. *switches off the light and closes the door* hmm..strange. She's never acted this way before. Let me just go and check if there were magic mushrooms in the soup I made for dinner....

Treatment and Medication

No known medication has been yet being found for this particular symptom, but as mentioned before, younger siblings can really help overcome this. If you are an only child, parents work just as well. Just remember to hand them earplugs before you start speaking.

"The Fangirl Magazine" has a list of possible victims for your easy disposal on the last page. They all fit into the latest trend, of course!

The latest issue of the Magazine will be on sale next Tuesday!

Be sure to check it out!