AN: Here is a one-shot I wrote recently. I'm thinking about updating it, but I'm not sure. Tell me what you think! If enough people want me to continue, I might. :)

Numb. That's all I feel as I pull the knife out of Finn. I can hear Raven's screams, even from this distance. I told him I loved him, and I killed him. What will my mother think? What will my people think. I'm a murderer now. I'll be locked up. I step away as he slumps down, and walk slowly over to Lexa. I don't feel. I can't.

I barely make out what she is saying, but I am able to nod. I walk back to the Ark, my hands shaking. But the grounders let me pass. I suppose they think what I did was brave. It wasn't brave. It was cowardly. I want to think that I did the right thing, but all I can remember is Finn's face when I told him that I loved him.

And I lied.

I walk the distance between the grounders and the Ark quickly. I have to get to my tent. I have to be alone.

Raven's sobs grow louder as I get closer. I bite my lip in regret. What did I do? Why did I do this to her? Raven pushes Bellamy, who kneels beside her, away. She marches over to me, and I almost break down right there. I must be shaking. But I can barely tell. I'm too numb.

The camp is silent. So when Raven slaps me across the face, it echoes loudly around us. "He loved you! And you killed him." She shakes her head back and forth, stepping away from me. "You disgust me."

The tears begin to fall, slowly at first. They mingle with the blood and dirt on my face. I wonder if anyone can tell. I close my eyes and lick my lips.

"I'm sorry, Raven. They were going to torture him." My voice is cracking, my words shaky. But I continue on. "I had to do it."

"No," she says, "you didn't. You could have saved him."

I draw a shaky breath at her words. I could have. I could have done something. Taken his place. But I didn't. I killed him.

"I thought I was." My voice is little above a whisper, and suddenly I can't stand here anymore, with everyone staring at me. Two armies just watched me kill a man.

Slowly, I walk over to my tent. Everyone is watching me. I push aside my tent flap, and collapse on my hands and knees. The tears flow faster now. They come pouring down my face. I watch as a tear lands on the dirt. My whole body shakes.

I don't notice that someone is in my tent until they speak.

"Clarke," Bellamy says, his voice full of emotion. I look up at him, but look away just as quickly. How can he stand to even look at me?

And suddenly, he pulls me into his arms. I sob silently on his shirt, holding on to him desperately. We sit there for a long time. I bury my face into the crook of his neck. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. Slowly, I calm down.
My voice comes out in a whisper. "Did I do the right thing?"

Bellamy suddenly loosens his grip on me. Did I do something wrong? But he's only pulled away to look at my face. He lifts my chin up gently and smiles. It's a sad smile. Full of pain. But it's a smile, nevertheless. It gives me hope.

"Yes. You couldn't have done anything else."

He looks at me so kindly that my heart aches for him. Has it always done that?

"I told him I loved him," I state after a while.

"Of course you did," he says. He pauses. "You did love him, didn't you?"

I look down at the dirt and swallow. "No. I lied to him. I just wanted to give him what he wanted to hear."

"You didn't have to please him," Bellamy says gently. "But I'm sure it made going a lot easier for him."

"I hope so."

He pulls me into his arms once more, and this time, I hold on even tighter. I just breathe in the smell of Bellamy. He is safe. He cares. I hold him tighter, and bury my head into the crook of his neck once more.

"I'm here for you, Clarke," he says.

"I know," I reply. My eyelids start to fall with exhaustion.

Bellamy seems to notice the change in my grip on him, because he says, "Get some sleep, Clarke. You need it."

We pull away, and I nod. Suddenly, my mind can't wrap around the fact that he will be leaving.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask him.

He smiles once more. That brilliant smile that gives me hope.

"Of course."

We lie down together on my bed, and Bellamy pulls the blanket over us. He wraps his arms around me, and I bury my face in his bare chest. I feel safe with him. In his arms. My heart aches even more. I am so grateful that he cares enough to stay with me. He holds me tighter, and I move even closer toward him. He is warm. Caring.

"Thank you, Bellamy," I say.

I feel his smile as he presses his lips to the top of my head.
"Of course," he says, running his fingers through my hair.

* * *

And that's when I first fell asleep next to hope.

AN: I hope you enjoyed that! I might continue, but I am not sure right now. This was a fun one-shot to write. Tell me what you thought!