Confidence
~Michael's POV
Once I got out the hospital we continued the tour with Leon, making sure I took care of myself. I was counting down the days until the last show. Physically my body was exhausted, no matter how much rest I had. I loved performing, but it's been almost two years. I need a break.
Meanwhile, Rayne kept me updated on the wedding plans and how my sisters were driving her insane. I hope she doesn't let them control everything.
That's another reason I'm waiting for the tour to end, I'm ready to marry Rayne. My mind is constantly on her, I felt terrible leaving her to plan the entire thing by herself, but knowing I'll be home in a few weeks is making me feel a little better.
To keep myself busy, I've been writing music to put on a new album, whenever I start recording.
"The Grammy's are asking for a performance from you this year.." Frank says, walking in my room.
"Ok.." I say, shrugging. "Is it possible?" I ask.
"Well yeah. I just wanted to ask you before I said yes, usually you get on my case about that." Frank responds.
"Since I'm nominated for three awards, I can do it." I chuckle. I scribbled my pencil on my sheet of paper, completely focused.
"Something about you. The stare in your eyes.
Everything I'm looking for, I seem to find.
All this time away.. Is killing me inside.
I need your love in my life" I mutter.
Frank rolls his eyes, "are you gonna keep writing love songs the whole tour Mike? We get it, you're in love."
I chuckle, "Frank if you don't like it, why don't you wait outside with Bill? I'm getting married, of course I'm in love. Soon I'll be having kids and making my own family. I'm excited."
Frank sits next to me, a small sigh releasing from his lips. "Mike, let me give you some advice." He says wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Marriage is a beautiful thing, there's no feeling describable than knowing you're about to be with the one person you couldn't imagine being without. But marriage also shows people who you really are. How do you know Rayne wants kids? It's a pain in the butt to be with the same person 24 hours a day. She's going to irritate you. And kids? Don't rush! I've got two sons, it's not easy-"
"Frank Frank Frank... Thank you, but I don't need the speech. I know what I'm doing, I know what I want." I smile, removing his arm. "You told me, I need someone who will love me, not for my name, but because of my personality and who I am as a person. Rayne has been that way since I met her. I mean, I had to almost beat her door down to see her again after we first met! She and I have something real. I'm marrying her."
"I just think you're still too young to be getting married.. You're in your prime. So many women are flocking to you.." He crosses his arms.
"Women have been 'flocking' to me since I was 17, I'm almost 30. I think I'm at the perfect age." I chuckle. "Now, I have to get dressed for this interview, I'll be down soon." I say heading for the bathroom. Frank waves himself out as he grumbles unknown words.
I remove my shirt, running my fingers across the pale patches of my skin. I run across my side to another patch trailing from my hip to my underarm. I heave a heavy sigh, hating my appearance more and more. How Rayne tends to look past the monster I see before me, is beyond me. But I couldn't help but love her for simply loving me, and that's all I could ever ask for.
Why didn't Frank understand that? What kind of person does he think she is? He wouldn't understand because his social status isn't like mine at all. He's not being judged every time he does something. My room phone interrupts my thoughts as I rush out the bathroom to get it.
"Hello?"
"They're driving me crazy..." Rayne says lowly.
I giggle, "what's new?"
"When are you coming home?" She whines.
"Soon baby, very soon. What's happening?"
"Janet and Rebbie are arguing about the wedding location.. Rebbie wants it in a temple, Janet wants it outside the temple-"
"Where do you want it?" I ask calmly.
"Uhh, I kinda want it here at home, there's so much beautiful land."
"Then it's there at home.. You've gotta start overpowering them Ray."
"I just wanna stop planning all together. I'm exhausted and I can't take your sisters anymore." She groans.
"Ok.. How about this. You meet me in the next city of my tour next weekend, go on tour with me for a couple days to get some rest and catch a break.. Ok?" I ask. I could almost hear her sigh of relief.
"Ok. That's perfect. You're perfect."
I chuckle, "I'll see you soon. I'll give you a massage and everything." I flirt
"Can't wait.." She says, her smirk almost coming through the phone. "Now I've just gotta get your sisters outta here.." She sighs again. "Wish me luck.."
I laugh loudly, "good luck. Just think 'one week, one week'"
"Okay... I love you." She pouts.
"I love you more." No truer words spoken, I hang up, a permanent grin plastered on my face for the day.
***
A week later.
After a long and successful show, I went backstage to meet some underprivileged kids. I thought it was so sweet that in their young little lives, their big dream was to meet me.
"Hi, I'm Michael. What's your name?" I say, giving a friendly smile.
"Tuck." He says shyly, grasping his mother's hand tightly. I chuckle, outstretching my hand to grab his. "Nice to meet you Tuck. Cool bracelet. Is that wolverine?" I ask. His eyes lit up when I pointed at his wrist.
"Yeah he's my favorite! Do you like X-men?" He asked. "Do I?" I giggle as he and his mother follow Leon and I to my dressing room. "My favorite is Morph." I explain, grabbing my morph mini statue. "That's a secret Tuck. Don't tell anyone." I say, placing a finger over my mouth.
Once Tuck heard about X-men, that was all he could talk about. I stayed and chatted with him for about an hour before sending him on his way.
"His birthday is coming up soon. He would love if you could give him a call. Here is his number." Tuck's mother smiled, handing me a scrap paper.
"Ms. Henson, I can't promise I'll call him. I'm so busy.." I say, before hesitating. The look on her face made me rethink. "...but I'll try my best." I smile, while Leon escorts them out.
"It feels so good to help kids, even if it's just your presence, anything that helps make them smile." I say to Leon while riding back to the hotel. I let out a long yawn, I was exhausted. Once in the room I headed to the closet to kick my shoes off, but was stopped by a familiar voice.
"Excuse me sir? I think you're in the wrong room." She giggles.
"Ray!" I exclaim, grinning from ear to ear. I kiss her soft lips, allowing it to linger for a few seconds. "I completely forgot you were coming this weekend, but I'm so glad to see you." I smile, grabbing her hand.
"I'm happy to see you! I had to get away from your sisters. I just couldn't take anymore." She sighs.
"I told you! I know how you are, and if you don't say something now. You'll blow up later. You've gotta say something ok?" I explain sitting on the edge of my bed.
She sits next to me, releasing a sigh. "I tried, but it's like they don't listen at all. I just want you and I to plan this together. Nobody else." She pouts, laying her head on my shoulder.
"Since we're in your hometown, why don't you show me around tomorrow?" I say trying to cheer her up. I always tried to have a free day in the city after the concert, just to give myself time to breathe and explore before moving to the next place. Frank of course doesn't think it's wise because it makes my tour longer than it should be. "I guess.. But let's get started on that massage." She giggles, turning her back to me.
"Is that all I'm good for?" I laugh. "A promise is a promise. Just let me shower first." I smile heading to the bathroom. Once again I hate what I see, and I don't know what got into me but I just got extremely angry. I grabbed the toothbrush holder and lunged it at the mirror, shattering it to pieces. I sat on the side of my tub, sobbing in my hands.
"What's going on?" Rayne says, rushing inside.
"What's wrong with me?" I whimper. "Look at me.. It's getting worse and worse. I'm turning whiter!" I say angrily. Rayne stands in the doorway, her face balled up with confusion.
She steps over the broken glass, kneeling next to me. "Nothing is wrong with you!" She says.
"Rayne, look at me. My skin is all spotty and pale. I'm a black man and I'm turning white!! I look ridiculous. How can you see past my appearance? How can you love me the way you do?" I ask, her hands holding my cheeks.
"Michael your beautiful inside and out, from your face to your soul. I love you for who you are. I know Joseph has said things to you that make you ask those kinds of questions, my mother did the same thing. But that's why we have each other, to give each other the confidence that was taken away from us at such early ages. We make each other.. You can't let this vitiligo consume you. I know your a strong man, but for the days that you aren't, I'm here to be strong for you. I promise you that."
She brings my face to hers so our eyes meet. I know her love for me is seriously all that I need to help me through this. She was right, we're perfect for each other. We gave each other that confidence we never had. Soon we'd be back home and marriage was just around the corner.
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