August 15th.

"Alright Grayson, we're gonna try big boy food!"

He smiles and hits his hands on his highchair table.

"Yeah!  Mommy mashed up some carrots for you.  If you don't like that, I've got a feeling you won't, I have some bananas!

Okay one, two, three!  Here it comes!" Jessica sticks it in his mouth and Grayson makes a face.

Jessica laughs and he spits it out.

"Oh no!  Don't do that!" She cleans him up.

"Here, try it again."

Jessica feeds him as the boys walk in.

Grayson spits it out again, but this time more forceful.

"Oh Grayson!  You got it all over me!"

"What are you doing?" Sam laughs.

"Feeding your brother.  He doesn't like it" She says cleaning herself up.

"I see that." James laughs.

"Here, try some nanas!" She smiles.

Grayson moves his little lips in a cute way, and focuses his eyes in one spot.

"He's thinking about it." Michael says.

"Mom, you should get out of the splash zone just in case." Sam says making her laugh.

Suddenly Grayson starts giggling and clapping his hands.

"He likes it!  Yay, Gray!!" Jessica lifts her hands.

"Here, have some more!" Jessica feeds him and James touches her shoulder.

"Mom, are we still going shopping for our dorm room today?"

Jessica immediately teared up and looked at him.

"Yeah.."

The subject of college can't come up without Jessica crying.

"Well we don't have to."

"No, I want to go!  We need to.  Let me just grab some of his things and we can go.."

***

The boys find all kinds of things they need and want for school, and the whole time Jessica stays quiet.

"You okay, mom?" James asks.

"I'm fine.."

"You sure?"

Jessica nods and looks down.

"I'm okay.."

"Love you, mom."

"I love you more, baby!"

He smiles softly and gives her a hug.

***

The week before the boys left for school, they had a little going away party for them at Dorothy's.

"Boys, I've known you since you were still in your mother's womb.  I felt you kick, I've changed your diapers, I've watch you go from cute little munchkins to handsome young men.  Your parents have raised you so well.  I know that your life will be filled with joy, happiness and success.  You and your brothers are such amazing boys.  The love you all have for your mother is something I've never seen before.  As well as the love she has for you.  Your mom loves you guys so so much.  So go to school.. Become something great and make her proud.. Make your father proud and remember that he will be with you every step of the way."

"Aw thank you, Sarah." James and Sam hug her.

"I love you guys."

"We love you too."

"Be good and you better not be a stranger!" She points her finger at them.

They laugh and Sam says, "We won't.  We'll visit as much as we can."

***

Two days before they leave for OU.

It was Saturday morning so they packed up and went to the cemetery to see Sam.

"Good morning, Sammy." Jessica smiles and bends over to kiss his grave.

"Say hi dada!" Jessica waves while holding Grayson.

Grayson moves his arm up and down to the grave and Jessica smiles.

"Good boy!" She kisses his head.

They all sit around on blankets and eat breakfast together.

"Are you hungry again, Gray?  Here, have some of my banana."

Grayson narrows his brows and pushes her hand away, then turns to her and pulls her top open.

"Grayson!" She laughs.

"I don't know if I even have my nursing cover, Gray.

...Ugh I don't!  You're gonna have to go in my shirt!" She looks at Grayson and laughs.

Jessica pulls the bottom of her shirt and sticks Grayson underneath.

He starts laughing, then grabs her boob and starts eating.

"He laughing!  He thinks it's funny that he's under there." Jessica chuckles.

***

Before they leave, Jessica says, "The big day is coming, Sammy.. Can you believe our baby boys are going to be in college?  It's crazy!"

"I hope we make you proud, dad." Sam says with a sad look in his eyes.

"You will, baby." Jessica places her hand on his.

He smiles softly then sniffles and looks down at his father's name.

***

The next morning they went to church, then ate at the twins favorite restaurant.

"What time are you leaving in the morning?" Dorothy asks Jessica.

"I'm not sure. George?"

"Six thirty.. Seven?"

"Shit! Okay."

"Well we can leave later, but we'll have to eat, and you'll have to feed the baby, we're not looking at getting there till about ten or later."

"Oh.. Well then seven's fine." She mopes.

Later that day James came up to Jessica and gave her a hug.

"Hey mama." He smiled.

"Hi baby!" Jessica hugged him tight and laid her head on him.

"Can you make me some of your chocolate chip cookies, please?"

"Of course I can!" She smiles and taps his nose with her finger.

"Yay, thanks!"

"No problem!"

It was just Jessica and her boys at home, and it was starting to feel more real that they would be leaving and this would be the last night they all were together for a while.

"I know you boys and I know you're heart.  James, I want you to study hard, but don't be afraid to have a little fun.  Sam, I want you to study super hard and try to stay in every once in a while."

"Okay." She chuckles.

"I trust that you'll both make the right decisions and won't do anything that will disappoint your father and I.  I'll call you everyday, and I want you to call me all the time!!  Nothing's gonna change, just the distance.  If you need help with anything just call me!  If you need me over there I'll be there in a heartbeat." Jessica's eyes water.

She smiles softly and says, "I remember when I first saw you on the little ultrasound screen.  I was absolutely terrified to see two little babies in there, but so happy to be you mama.  Since day one you boys have made me the happiest girl in the world.  I couldn't have asked for anyone greater.  The day I first felt you, was a day I'll never forget.  I love you." She says as tears fall down her cheeks.

"We love you two." Sam hugs her and tears up.

James hugs her tightly and cries.

"How am I gonna leave you?"

Jessica pulls away and wipes his tears.

"Oh baby!  You're not leaving me!  You're going to school and you're gonna make me proud!"

"But you have a baby and Mikey, you need someone here to help you.  Dad's gone and now so are we!"

"You're not gone!  This is apart of growing up, son.  You make me so proud.. So go over there and make me even more proud." She smiles.

"I love you, mom!"

"I love you too, baby!" She hugs him tight.

***

George got to the house at five o'clock the next morning to help pack up the truck.  Jessica made breakfast, and they all got on the road.

"See you soon, house!" Sam chuckles and shuts off the lights.

Jessica sat in the passenger seat silent.  She just kept thinking about how she would be coming home without her boys.  It made her sick just thinking about it. 

George looked over and saw the sadness in his sisters face, so he reached over and grabbed her hand.

"It'll be okay."

She smiles softly and nods her head.

***

Grayson needed to be taken out for a while, so they stopped to grab some lunch.

Sam held Grayson and said, "I'm gonna miss my little buddy!  I'll be back for Thanksgiving, okay?  Oh and your first birthday!  No way am I missing that." He smiles and kisses his cheek.

"I'm so happy you came into our lives, little guy.  You make everyone smile with your contagious little laugh.  You and Mikey treat mama good, okay?  She's the best.. All babies look at their mothers as being the best thing ever... But one day you'll realize just how amazing she truly is.  We're all lucky to call her mom."

"Aw Samuel!  You made me cry!" Jessica reaches over and touches his arm.

"Grayson is lucky to have such amazing big brothers.  Isn't that right, Gray?" Jessica smiles at him.

Grayson takes a sharp breath in and makes a cute baby sound as he kicks his legs and bounces up and down.

"Heh!  You're such a cutie!" She lightly pinches his cheek.

***

After hours of driving, they finally got to Oklahoma.

They stayed in a hotel, and crashed as soon as they got there.

The next morning they all got ready and went over to the dorm.

"Well this is nice..." Jessica says looking around the empty room while holding Grayson.

"Yep.." James sighs and sits down.

"Well let's get started!  The Sooner we finish, the Sooner we can have more time to ourselves... Ha-ha.. Did you get my Sooner joke?" George chuckles.

Jessica and the boys look at him like he's crazy and Sam says, "Yeah, good one uncle George."

"I knew!  It's so funny!" He laughs.

"Heh, yes George. 

Here honey, hold your brother.  Let's make this place great!" Jessica hands the baby to Michael.

***

Between all of them, they got everything done fairly quickly.

Jessica stopped once to feed Grayson, then held him in his little body wrap and continued.

"You guys, the place looks great, thank you so much."

"You're welcome boys!  Now let's get out of here and get some food!"

"Caroline and her family just got here, can she they come too?" James asks.

"Of course!"

"Thanks!"

***

After they ate, they stayed at the restaurant and talked for a while.

"Hey Grayson!  Can you say Caro?  Can you, handsome boy?"

James smiles at Caroline and his baby brother, then turns to his mother and wraps his arm around her.

"Isn't she great!"

"She is pretty great, son!" Jessica smiles at them.

"I'm so glad you're here too, Caroline.  You kids stay safe please!  Don't think just because you're in college it means you can.. Do stuff!"

"Mom!" James gets embarrassed.

"No, she's right!  You kids stay innocent!" Caroline's mother says.

"Oh God.." Caroline closes her eyes and nods.

Grayson laughs and grabs her face with his hands.

"Hey!" She looks up and smiles at him.

***

They stayed there for a few days, and it was finally come time to go home.

They were all in the boys room and Jessica bounced Grayson.  He was fine, the bounce was more of a nervous thing for her.

"Do you need anything?  Food?  Clothes?  Money?" Jessica asks.

"We're fine mom, thanks."

Jessica nods with a worried look on her face.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Sam says.

"I know.  I'll just miss you."

"We'll miss you too."

George sighs and walks over to give them a hug.

"You guys be safe.  I'm so proud of you two." He smiles and rubs her heads roughly.

They laugh and James says, "Thanks for everything, uncle George.  I mean it.. We couldn't have made it this past year and a half without you."

George smiles softly and gives them another hug.

"I'm always here for you.

Do good.  Love you both." He pats their backs.

"We love you too."

"I'll give you guys some time."

"Thanks George." Jessica says.

James takes Grayson from Jessica and smiles, "Hey little guy!  It's gonna be hard not seeing you everyday or hearing that cute little laugh all the time.. We'll see you soon, okay?" His eyes fill with tears.

"Mikey." Sam calls him over as James hands the baby back to Jessica.

"Hey bud.." He pats his back.

"You're the man of the house now. *Smiles* Do good in school and take care of mom.  Help out, okay?"

Michael nods and Sam continues, "Stay away from girls.. They're nothing but trouble."

Michael laughs and James says, "If you ever have any questions about girls, you can always call me, okay?"

"And me!"

"Don't go to Sam." He nods making Michael and Jessica laugh.

"I'm gonna miss you guys..." Michael smiles softly and gives them each a hug.

Jessica sighs and hands him Grayson when he stands up.

"I'm gonna go outside with uncle George."

"Okay baby." Jessica smiles.

She had her arms crossed as she watched them walk out.  She turns back to the twins and sighs.

There she saw two handsome young men and she couldn't believe they were hers.

Jessica walked over and hugged them without saying a word for the longest time.

"I have something for you two." She sits down on the bed.

"The day you were born your father and I wrote these for you.  I don't want you to read them until after I leave, because I'm just too emotional right now and after I give you what I'm about to give you, I'm going to be an absolute mess!"

"What is it?" James asks.

Jessica swallows hard and takes a letter out of her purse.

"I found this in daddy's office.  He wanted me to read it to you when I left you here."

They boys stay silent and Jessica puts her glasses on.

Boys.. I can't believe it's time for you to go off to college already.  It seems like just yesterday your mother and I found out she was pregnant with you.  I want you to know that you guys are the greatest thing that's ever happened to us.  You are not a mistake, you are simply a blessing.  You're both great in school and have always had much respect for both your mom and I.  I'm so sorry that I cannot physically be there with you to tell you these things, but please know that I am still with you.  I know we've always been a very close family and have never spent more than a few days apart, so this move will be hard on everyone.  Just remember why you're doing it.  To better yourself, and get a good education.  One day you'll make lots of money and you can support your mother when she's old and crazy!

"Hah!  Thanks Sam." Jessica stops reading and chuckles.

Have some fun, but not too much fun!  Study hard and make your mother and I proud.  Since day one we've loved and cared for you with everything we had.  Now it's time for you to say thank you by showing us your best self.  I love with all my heart and death will never change that. 
       
                  Love dad.

Jessica sighs and folds the letter back up.

"Wow." Sam looks down.

James sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"He loves you and he's so proud of you both."

Sam nods and can't hold his tears back any longer.

"Oh baby!" Jessica moves over and hugs him tight.

"I know you miss him, but he's always with you."

Sam nods and Jessica kisses his cheek.

She turns to James and he looks into her eyes then hugs her tight.

"I miss him."

"I do too.."

James wipes the year falling down her cheek and looks into her eyes.

"I love you.  I love you so much.  Please take of yourself, okay?  Go out with Sarah and have some fun.  Don't stress and don't worry about us."

"I'll always worry, I'm your mom."

"But don't, we're fine!  Don't try to do everything yourself.  I know you're strong.. You're the strongest person I know, but let people help you.  I'll call you everyday, so get ready to be sick of my voice."

"Heh!  Never, baby." She smiles and touches his cheek.

Jessica stays there for a while, and they talk for the longest time.

"Alright, I better go.  I love you." She looks at the both of them and does her best to hold back her tears.

"We love you."

She gives them a hug and a kiss, and looks at them again as she remembers them as little babies.

"I'll see you soon."

"Bye mom."

Jessica walks out and tears silently run down her face.

She wipes them and keeps walking.

When she gets to the car, George gets out and gives her a hug.

"They're my babies!" She cries into his chest.

"I know.. You've done so well with them, Jessie."

"Thank you.."

They get in the car and Jessica gives Michael a tearful smile.

She reaches back and grabs his hand, then says, "When your time comes, you're going to Minnesota state, Mister!"

Michael laughs and Jessica smiles and squeezes his hand.

"Jess." George hands her a letter.

"What's this?"

"Sam told me to give it to you."

"What?"

"When he was sick, he gave it to me and told me to give it to you after you dropped the twins off.

Jessica took the letter and slowly opened it.

Jessie!  We did it baby!  Congratulations!!  Look at our boys all grown up and out of the house!  I wish more than anything I was there to give you a big hug and say, "We made it!"  Thank you for giving our boys all your love, and thank you for showing them what a real woman is.  When they meet a girl, their standards will be so high because they know just how good a woman can be.  The day the boys were born I looked into your eyes and I saw a look I had never seen before.  The moment they came out of you, you became this super mom and I was and will always be so so proud of you.  Take care of Mikey and please please please take care of yourself.  Remember that you are beautiful, and you are strong.  Don't be sad.. Be happy.  I love you so much and I always will, baby girl.

"I love you too, Sam." Jessica says in a low and tearful voice.