That night Jessica really didn't get much sleep.

Oh Sam.. you've been gone a month and I'm already screwing up.

What am I gonna do with him?

... I need you to hug me and tell me that it's all gonna be okay...

***

The next morning.

"Mom, where's Sam?" Micheal asks during breakfast.

"He um.. okay.." Jessica takes a deep breath then continues, "Sam did something last night that was against the law, so they took him to--"

"To jail?!" His eyes widen.

"No! No, he's too young for jail. He's in juvenile. I have to pick him up at noon."

"What did he do?"

Jessica explains what happened and his only response was, "Woah.."

"Yeah, and I feel sick, I'm so worried! He said there was scary guys there." Jessica grabs her head and stomach.

"Mom, calm down." James says.

"This is my fault!"

"No it's not, mom! Stop saying that!"

"It's true. This never happened when your father was here... I can't do this by myself!" She starts crying.

"Mom.. please don't cry." He rubs her back.

"I'm always crying now.. I'm so sorry, I just can't help it."

"No, don't apologise! It's good to cry, I just don't want you to cry because you think it's your fault. You're a great mom and this isn't your fault!"

"Thanks, James.."

Jessica wipes her face and he says, "No problem.. now eat, you've barely touched your food."

"No, I'm not hungry.. " She pushes her plate away.

James sighs and looks down at the table.

Michael looks at Jessica, as she stands up and starts on the dishes.

"M--"

"Not now." James whispers and nods his head to Michael.

Noon.

Jessica drove to pick up Sam. When he came out, he had a black eye.

"Samuel! What happened?!" Her eyes widen.

Jessica softly touches his face and he says, "I'm fine. Mom, I'm so sorry!"

"Someone hit you?"

"Let's just talk about it at home."

"Well I have to talk to them first, they need to tell me when your court date is."

"My court date?!"

"Yes! You didn't know you had to go to court?"

"Well I don't know.."

***

"Mrs. Shepard, we will send you a letter with Samuels court date, but we do have this for you." The woman hands her an envelope.

"What is this?"

"The bill."

"A bill?"

Jessica opens it and it was a bill for a broken window.

"Six hundred dollars?!" Her eyes widen.

"For a window?" Sam says in shock.

"It was a police car window." The woman says.

"I-I can't pay this."

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

*Sighs* "Shit!" Jessica hits the counter with her fist then walks out.

"Mom, I'm so--"

"I don't wanna hear it, Sam."

He walks behind her on the way to the car, and thinks to himself, "Fuck! I'm dead. I'm dead! She's gonna kill me!"

They get in the car and Jessica slams her door.

"What were you thinking, Sam?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Sam I don't have six hundred dollars right now! We have so many bills, and I... dammit!"

"Mom--"

"Just shut up, Sam!"

The drive home was quiet. Jessica had one hand on the wheel and her elbow by the window, leaning her head on her hand.

Sam occasionally looked over, but Jessica's eyes were glued to the road. Her lips were pursed and Sam was terrified.

When they got home Jessica got out of the van and slammed the door.

"What are we gonna do with dad's truck?"

"When your brother gets home from school, I'll drive over there and he can drive it back home."

"I could've driven it."

Jessica looks at him with a look that could kill.

"You're not going anywhere for a long long time, Samuel."

"Mom, I said I was sorry!"

"Oh you said you were sorry! Okay, now the whole thing disappears! Poof! You're not in trouble! Poof! The six hundred dollar fine is gone! Haha! Thank you so much, Samuel!" She smiles.

"Come on, ma."

"No Sam! Ugh! Christ! I'm gonna have to barrow money now, do you realise that? Your grandparents are gonna know what you did! That you screwed up!"

"Mom, I'm sorry! I don't know what else to say!" He starts to cry.

Jessica sighs and runs her hand through her hair.

"Sit down and I'll get you some ice."

"I'm fine."

"Cut the tough guy act and sit down!"

He listens to her and waits for her to come back with the ice.

"What happened?" She sits beside him and gently places the ice pack on his head.

"This guy and I got into a fight. You think I look bad, you should see him."

Jessica scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"I hope you've learned your lesson."

"I have.. I feel bad... I disappointed you and I know I disappointed dad."

"Maybe so, Sam. You just have to get your head straight, finish school, go to college.. do all the things you promised him you'd do."

"I will.. I promise I will..." He looks down as Jessica holds the ice pack on his head.

"Look at me."

Sam slowly lifts his head and looks into her eyes.

"I love you and just want you to make the right decisions. Don't go down the wrong path. Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell your father and I about.

No matter what, I will always find out, and no matter what, your father will always know what you're getting into."

Sam nods his head and Jessica pauses for a second, before she hugs him.

"I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, mom."

"I'm sorry if I haven't been paying enough attention to you guys.. this new life is taking me a while to get used to."

"Don't say you're sorry, I should be apologising to you. I really am sorry, mom.. and I promise to never disappoint you again."

Jessica gives him a slight nod.

"It's just.. well when I heard you were selling the house.. I freaked out...

This place reminds me of him.. the door reminds me of when he'd walk through it after work. The kitchen.. all the meals we shared together.. the couch.. his chair.. everything-- everything reminds me of him! I know that may seem harder, but I like it. I feel him here! Things still smell like him. That cologne he wore for years.. I swear, that smell is in the walls!"

Jessica chuckles and wipes her eyes.

"I just can't say goodbye to this place."

"Well maybe we can work it out.. but you have to help me, Sam."

"I will! I promise!"

"Then we'll talk about it."

"Okay.. thank you."

Jessica gives him a small smile and says, "You probably didn't get any sleep at all last night, go take a nap and I'll make you some lunch."

"Thanks, mom."

***

Jessica made him something to eat, and took it up to his room.

"Sweetie, here's your food." She sits on the bed and pats his arm.

"Hm? Oh thanks." He sits up and takes the plate.

"Did you eat anything?"

"No, I have a headache, I'm just gonna take a nap."

"Mom."

"Hm?"

"Stop starving yourself!"

"I'm not! I'm eating.. not a lot, because everything has been making me sick lately, but I'm getting better! I've gained five pounds!" She smiles proudly.

"Well I don't see it.. I just want you to be healthy."

"I am healthy, baby."

"Yeah? Go to the doctor."

"For what, I'm healthy." She chuckles and taps his leg.

Jessica kisses the top of his head and walks out of his room.