November 17th.
37 weeks and four days pregnant.
The day before Sam's birthday.

***

Jessica wasn't feeling herself at all today.

On top of this extremely sad feeling she had because Sam's birthday was the next day, and it was the first birthday he wouldn't be here for, she was also having horrible contractions and back aches all day.

"Mom, maybe we should take you to the hospital." Samuel rubs her back as she leans forward on the counter.

"No, I'm fine!" She says in a painful voice.

"Mom, you don't sound fine!"

"I am, just massage my back!" She lays her head down on her arms and moans.

Samuel massages her back to relieve her as much as he can.

"Oh this hurts! Shit!" She whines.

"Mom, do you think this is it?" James asks.

"I think it's the start of it."

"Oh my gosh! He's coming?" Michael smiles.

"He's starting to!" Jessica looks at him with a sleepy smile.

"This is awesome! Maybe he'll be here tonight!"

"Heh, I don't think so, sweetie." Jessica chuckles and sits down on the chair.

She grabs her bottled water from the table and takes big gulps.

While drinking, she looks up and sees her boys surrounding her.

"Yes?"

"Nothing! We're just watching you." James says.

"Well stop, you're making me feel self conscious!" She lays her hand across her stomach and looks down.

"I just feel like you could explode at any moment!" Sam says, and Jessica laughs.

"Let's not talk about me anymore. What are you boys up to?"

"Nothing really. Hey, I was wondering, if you're up to it, maybe we could visit dad tomorrow.  You know, since it's his birthday." James says.

Jessica just looks at him with a blank face.

"I mean, we don't have to! That's up to you. Maybe just the three of us can go, you don't have to! You should go out with Sarah, or something else fun with aunt Jane and Ann."

"Yeah, that would be good to get your mind off of.. You know, everything." Michael looks down.

"Yeah..." She looks down and thinks for a second, before looking up and asking, "Do you think I should visit him?"

"That's up to you mom. If you're not ready, then that's fine. There's no problem with that!"

"Yeah... I just feel bad because I haven't gone.  He passed in March and it's already November."

"Mom, that's understandable.  It was something that was very hard for you.  It's okay and dad would say it's okay if you took all the time you need.  Even if it's years.  He understands."

Jessica nods and closes her eyes to hide the tears forming.

"Alright, who's turn is it to help me get up, I have to pee again." She quickly changes the subject.

"Mine." Sam chuckles, then jokes, "I'll help you out here. In there, you're on your own!" He points to the bathroom.

"Stop it!" Jessica laughs, then squeezes his hand and hunches over.

"You okay?"

Jessica nods her head, and closes her eyes.

"Just breathe through it, ma." He rubs her back up and down.

It quickly passes and Jessica releases a deep breath and smiles, "Phew! That was a quick one! Strong. But it was quick!" She chuckles.

"You okay?"

"Yeah.. Thanks." She smiles, then waddles off.

"No problem, Ms. Wobbles."

"Samuel Roger Shepard!" Jessica raises his voice.

"Oooooh!  Mom full named you!" Michael teases.

"Just trying to be the comedic relief." He chuckles.

***

When Jessica finished using the restroom, she went upstairs to the baby's room.

"You'll be in here soon, Grayson." She smiles softly and rubs her belly.

"I can't wait to meet you, my little guy."

She went over to the dresser and picked up a picture of her and Sam.

"Why are you missing this, Sammy?

I miss you more and more as each day passes.

All I want is one more day.. Hour.. Or minute.. Just to be in your arms and to tell you how much I love you, baby boy."

***

The boys heard sobs coming from upstairs, so they quickly ran up to see what was wrong.

"Mom?!"

Jessica stood there clutching the frame and held it to her chest.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Michael asks.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just go."

"What is this?" James takes the frame from her and tears up when he sees the picture of his parents.

Jessica cries even louder and James holds her in his arms.

With the combination of her weight and her sobs, Jessica's legs felt weak.

She dropped her body carefully to the ground, and laid all of her weight in her son.

The other two boys gathered around her and laid a hand on her for support.

"I-I just mi-iss h-him s--So Much!" She struggles to speak, then coughs.

"We know, mom.. It's okay to cry. We're here for you, it's okay!" James rubs her back.

"I don't know what I would do without you boys. Thank you so much for being here for me, and not just leaving me alone all the time."

"Of course we wouldn't leave, you're our mom!" Michael says.

They stay like that in that same position for a while.

"Mom, why don't you go take a nap?  You need some rest in case this little guy comes soon." Sam smiles and rubs her stomach.

Jessica looks up and smiles at him.

"Yeah.. I guess I could use one.. Thank you again, boys."

"Don't thank us, mom. That's what we're here for, and we love you."

"I love you too." She says with puffy eyes.

"Now.. Who wants to get the forklift to get her up?" Samuel jokes.

"Samuel!" Jessica laughs and hits his arm.

"You're just like your father, Sam." She smiles.

"Yeah, we both make jokes when we feel awkward." He chuckles and Jessica laughs.

***

"Jess.

Jessie!

Jessica!"

"Huh?! What?" Jessica rubs her eyes and focuses them.

She lets out a big gasp and her eyes widen.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Sam?! What are you doing here?!"

"I'm giving you breakfast in bed. Like I do all the time." He laughs.

"Are you okay?"

"Sam.. Sam.. You're dead." Jessica says a little freaked out.

"What? I am?!" He raises his eyebrows and jokes.

"Well I wish you would've told me before I wrote those huge checks for all my bills." Sam laughs.

"No Sam, I'm serious. What are you doing here? Am I pregnant still?" She looks down and lets out a deep breath when she grabs her bulging belly.

"What are you saying? Of course you're pregnant! That's our little Grayson in there!" He smiles and sits the breakfast down on the side, then sits beside her and rubs her belly.

He kisses his unborn son, and smiles at her.

"Any day now!" Sam leans in and kisses her lips.

"Maybe he'll be here on my birthday! That'd be cool."

"Yeah.. Yeah it would..

.. So... You're alive?"

*Laughs* "Yes I'm alive, baby! Are you okay?"

"Sam, I had a horrible dream! It was so real!" She cries.

"Baby, I'm here, it's okay! It was all a dream. Just a dream, that's all, sweet girl. I'm here." Sam smiles, then kisses her nose.

Jessica smiles, then closes her eyes and lays her body on his.

"Awe my sweet girl! See, that's why I said not to eat all that drunk food before bed! It makes the brain go coo coo!"

Jessica laughs and hugs him tight.

"I'm just glad you're still here, Sammy Wammy.

I never want to let you go again. Never ever again!"