It all started on an evening in early spring when I was at Ashley's fourteenth birthday party. I'd been sitting away from everyone, looking out at the moon reflected on the lake and thinking about how I was the youngest person there, and not really liking the idea.

Richard walked past me, Coke bottle in hand, "Alone again, wimp?"

I scowled, but kept looking out at the water. This was the first time I'd been this near to it since that time four years ago when Bryce had nearly drowned, and I was determined not to let his tauntings get me down.

But they did.

I tried to look nonchalantly out at the water, but I kept thinking about his words. Was I a wimp? I knew that I didn't get involved in any of the sports at school and I'd rather keep quiet than defend myself or others if they were saying something mean, and I knew that I spent most of my time in the library, but I climbed trees and the year before I had given a speech on bullying in front of the whole school. Surely I wasn't really a wimp then? And it wasn't as if I didn't have any friends-- Ashley was one, wasn't she? Well, she had invited me to her party, so I guessed she must be.

I walked out on to the porch again, thinking that I'd try to be a normal kid for a change. They were playing twister. The white canvas spread out on the dirty concrete floor. Ashley asked me If I wanted to play, but I shook my head, "I'd fall straight away."

Richard smirked again," wimp."

Ashley shot him a look but said nothing else; I didn't expect her to.

I watched them giggling and twisting themselves into pretzels for a while, but then I got tired.

I jumped down the tall porch step and looked out at the dark woods that surrounded the outskirts of Ashley's house. The lake looked even more eerie than usual with the tall pines and  full moon reflected on the water. I got an urge to go walk around there. I wouldn't go near the water, I'd just prowl about for a bit-- get a feel for the woods at night.

Everything felt kind of creepy, like all the eyes in the woods were staring right at me. I got a shiver down my spine and thought of going back to the house, but I didn't feel like returning to Richard's taunts. I needed to clear my head and stop all these thoughts from going round and round. I kept thinking about him calling me a wimp. I wished Ashley didn't mix with the big kids; it wasn't fair that he had to ruin everything for me. I couldn't even go to a party without him making me feel like an idiot. Maybe I was a wimp, it wasn't as if anybody disagreed with him. Maybe everybody thought that I was a stupid wimpy chicken.

I wished I had at least tried playing twister, but then I'd have felt even worse if I had fallen straight away.

I'd been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed myself approaching the woods until I heard the crunching of leaves and twigs under my feet and felt a spiderweb brush over my face. I tried looking at my watch to see what time it was, but It was darker by the trees and I couldn't see. I wished that Mom had bought me that watch with the luminous hour hands I'd been begging her for.

The edge of the woods were just over a stone throw away from the lake; by far the closest I'd been since Bryce almost drowned. I was kind of nervous, but I wasn't half as afraid as mom thinks I am. She's terrified of the water and terrified of letting us near it in case something happens. We used to come here all the time with Dad before it happened. I missed that.

It was colder out here by the woods, almost as if the trees themselves were giving off ice cold air. I shivered and wished I hadn't left my jersey hanging on the dining room chair. Maybe I'd have to turn back. I rubbed my bare arms a couple of times, trying to get some life back into them and then as I started to turn back, a deafening scream pierced the night air. I jumped back, almost tripping on a fallen branch. A part of me expected a snarling werewolf to jump up from the shadows. Another scream soon filled my eardrums: I could tell that it was coming from the lake.

Like I've said before, I wasn't half as afraid of the water as Mom thought I was. So I walked towards it. Mud squelched under my feet and goosebumps formed on my arms and legs. Through the bright light of the full moon I saw a terrified face, looking almost translucent in the moonlight.

I got close enough to see who it was and I jumped back. It was Richard in there. Richard Parker floundering in the water crying for his mommy. He saw me standing there and called out, " Help! I can't swim!"

I stood there with wide eyes just looking at him. He cried out again,

"bloody hell, Melody. I can't swim!"

I looked around me. A branch that had broken off from last week's storm lay nearby. I thought I could probably push it into the water, then he'd have something to grab onto. I could see his head going under and coming up again. He was spluttering and crying.

I grabbed the branch and tried to pull; it wouldn't budge.

I thought fast. I would have to run back and get help, but I didn't know if I could make it.

I began to run and it was then as my legs moved faster than they ever had before and my arms pumped up and down that bad thoughts began running through my head. I hated Richard. He was a stupid big kid who didn't give a damn about me. "So why should I help him?" I found myself thinking. And before I knew it I was slowing down.

I turned around and saw him vaguely in the distance, his face shimmering in the moonlight. I watched him get weaker and weaker. He gave one last flail and then slipped under the water. He did not come up again.

I felt ice cold dread curling up my spine. What had I done?

I turned back towards the house and ran, my sneakers banging against the ground so hard it hurt.

I reached the house at last. They were still playing twister.

" Help!" I waved my arms up and down. "Richard's drowning!"

Everyone turned to me and stopped what they were doing.

Ashley's mom heard me and came racing out. She still had her apron on.

" Where?" she said, more collected that I would ever have thought someone could be under the circumstances.

" Down by the woods, "I said. " I didn't know what to do!"

Ashley's dad came running out too and then the whole troop of them raced down towards the lake. I just stood there by the house with my arms hanging at my sides. I swallowed and tried to slow down my breathing. I watched them running to the lake and then looking frantically around. It was almost like watching an apocalypse movie in slow motion and I was the only one who knew how it would end. I felt numb.

...

Ashley's mom and dad ran up and down the river and spent half the night looking for him. They called the police, who combed the river for his body. They no longer had any hope that he could still be alive. Richard's mom stood by the men sobbing. She was a single mother, she said, he was all she had.

Mom and Dad came to fetch me, Mom standing far away from the water as usual, but I just shook my head. I had to see him. I had to see what I'd done.

Dad put my coat around my shoulders, "we can only imagine what you must be feeling, Mel. When we heard the message we thought about Bryce all over again."

They found his body at last. His lips were blue tinged and his stiff arms were white as chalk, with bits of algae wrapped around them. His mother slumped down and sobbed. She looked like she was going to pass out. Richard didn't look so menacing when he was dead. I felt a moment of satisfaction that his blue tinged lips could no longer form a smirk. Then I felt disgusted; I felt like I was going to throw up. Dad pulled me away and we drove home in silence.

...

They had his funeral three days later. I sat between Mom and Bryce in my long black funeral dress, not saying a word. I'd hardly said anything for days-- I kept thinking about how I might just be a murderer.

When we were away from all the people Mom hugged me tight "it's not your fault, Sweetheart. You did your best; you couldn't have hauled him out yourself."

I nodded, but I knew the truth. I kept hearing her voice in the background, trying to comfort me and ease my guilt, but in my mind I saw the image of Richard's face slowly disappearing into the dark water and not coming up again.

****

This is the first short story I've ever published on Wattpad so I'd love to know what you think. How morally culpable do you think Melody was for Richard's death?

I wrote this a while ago but didn't post it because I was really struggling with the cover. I just used a basic template from Desygner in the end. My usual method of cover making is to just slap a pretty text onto a flower image and call it a day. 😂

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you're all doing well during these times. 💕