One day, there was a bug on the wall.

Not just any bug, though. This bug was a spy bug! He frowned when he saw a salmon appear out of thin air in front of him.

Okay, well, bugs can't frown. It was more of the customary bug gesture of confusion: standing up on his back legs, doing three cartwheels in midair, and clapping silently four times. Dexter, for that was the spy bug's name, hated whoever came up with that.

Putting his hatred aside, he decided that, if the green-scaled, tuxedoed salmon with a top hat was at the Ukulele Council building, he must be an evildoer of the worst kind. But the real question was, why was the salmon here? Dexter had to know. The reason why wasn't really important-he was a spy and that was what he did. He gathered information on suspicious people, and if anyone was suspicious, it was the blank-eyed green fish before him.

So, Dexter the Spy Bug flitted off the wall and onto the disturbingly colored shag carpet. He kept unseen, so unseen that even the All-Seeing Purple Ukulele hanging from the ceiling didn't see him! (This was quite an accomplishment.)

Once he got close enough, he attached himself to the evil salmon's leg so he could go and hear what the fish had done. Mr. Salmon, as Dexter called him, noticed nothing.

The ukulele door opened at the end of the room, and the salmon started walking-waddling, really-towards it and into the council room.

After hearing all that the salmon-Bennie Bennison, Dexter learned-had done, breaking the Ukulele Law even though he wasn't technically breaking it, the spy bug hated him even more. Only the worst criminals broke the Ukulele Law!

However, when he heard Bennie's sentence, he instantly regretted attaching himself to the fish's leg as the chainsaw was raised over the fish's-and, therefore, his-head.

And so, Dexter used his magical powers that the author didn't bother to mention earlier to create a shield covering Bennie's entire body, blocking the chainsaw, which bounced off the shield.

"Oh," he heard one ukulele say concernedly-his eyes were closed in fear. "Okay, then."

Then, Dexter realized he'd broken the Ukulele Law, too-using magic. All laws were named the Ukulele Law, by the way. He opened his bug eyes to see what was happening, then saw that Bennie was looking down at him in surprise. Then the fish shrugged nonchalantly. A magical bug on his pant leg happened to him regularly, it seemed.

After a moment, the neon orange ukulele said, "Okay, well, you can go."

"But-" Bennie said. Dexter retracted the shield, doing his weird frown dance as Bennie argued with the ukulele as to whether he should stay or leave.

"Go! Shoo! Get out!" the ukulele yelled, though it had no mouth. Bennie couldn't argue with this point, even though it wasn't really a point, and he nodded and left with Dexter still on his leg. "Go through the ukulele door!" one ukulele yelled after them.

When in the weirdly carpeted, weirdly wallpapered room, a ukulele-shaped door opened up on the other side. Bennie went through it, strangely trustingly, given that he'd been told of it by ukuleles who had tried to kill him, and they were teleported out into a small home.

Bennie the Salmon plopped down on the couch, picking Dexter off his leg and setting him on the coffee table. "Welcome, Random Bug, to my humble abode."

Author's Note: Yeah, I'm kind of late... and I'm sorry for it. So! Dexter the Spy Bug is here! Yay for Dexter. Anyway, thanks for all your votes and comments, and I don't know why you're reading a story about a green salmon in a tuxedo and a top hat, but hey, I'm the one who had the idea for the thing, so what can I say?