Cereb: Alright everyone, we're finally here!

The voice of the man with red hair swiftly woke up the group present by his side, bringing them back to reality after what felt like an eternity.

They were a total of 5, all of them trapped inside a small vehicle that felt like a furnace due to the temperature. Every single windows were opened and yet, in spite of that, the heat remained stuck to them like flies.

The first one to fully wake up was Angela's boyt- ahem, unwilling boytoy. He took a peek outside through the opened window and sighed before tapping the shoulder of the girl sitting next to him.

Y/N: Can't believe I get to say this but we're here.

Alter Ego: Mhmn... we're alive?

Said girl did the same as he did, not believing where they were. Her sentiment was shared with the remaining passengers who looked outside in amazement.

Hava: Well, look at that, I guess you weren't kidding when you said you knew the basics behind a wheel~

Cereb: I know, I should get a license for this!

The last person in the vehicle was completely silent, focused on finishing the cigarette in their mouth. They then looked to the driver with unamused eyes.

Zeta19: You ran over a guy with a clockhead and their group of dumbass children, there's nothing to be proud about that.

Y/N: They're children, who cares?

Zeta19: ...Good point, they all die in this series.

The clerk replied and tossed the remains of the cigarette through the window before stepping out, his bag in his hand.

Left in the car, the remaining group looked at each other in silence before Alter Ego spoke up towards Cereb.

Alter Ego: I'm sure you'll get better.

Hava: At what? Running over children?

Y/N: Gotta get the highscore somehow, the Pianist guy has a pretty strong record.

Cereb: C-Come on guys, we're not here for that, we're here to relax! Oh, here are the others!

Behind them, the sound of wheels against gravel reached their ears, making their heads turn just in time to see a van stop right behind them. This prompted the group to step outside and join Zeta19.

Unlike him though, their bags were left in the back. The walk to it was greeted by the doors of the van opening, revealing more familiar faces from within.

Daniel: Yo, surprised to see you here after you ran over that clock person.

Natsuki: You guys ran at them at full speed, they're probably lying dead on the road!

Yuri: The chances of them surviving are... quite low. Especially with the height they reached in midair.

Monika: Hahaha... I'm sure they're fine... probably.

Morgan: Lucky them...

One by one, the remaining librarians emerged from the large vehicle, all of them expressing their shock at the "surprise" event they met on the way.

Y/N: Like we said in the car, we'll be fine. I'm sure Zena will get us out of this if I give her a call.

Alter Ego: ...In exchange for your loyalty for A Corp.

Y/N: It's not everyday you get a government agent trying to coax you into joining them.

With a shrug, Y/N completely ignored the possible issue with his own sentence and opened the trunk. Inside, what one would expect for a trip was present.

Y/N: Let's see: food, clothes, entertainment, supplies-

BongBong: BongBong!

Like a zombie coming out of a grave, a pair of arms grew out of the pile of bags and wrapped around the captain's head, who remained completely unfazed.

Y/N: You're in entertainment, don't worry.

BongBong: Bong.

The girl with long blue hair tilted her head to the side and jumped out of the trunk, revealing to everyone a collar around her neck alongside a wooden board attached to her stomach with the message "Dog, be careful, it kills" written on it.

Before she could step away, Y/N put a leash around the collar and firmly wrapped the other end of it around his right hand, completely ignoring the gazes of every librarians present fixed onto him.

Y/N: There you go, we should be good now. I hope you didn't forget to bring extra clothings.

BongBong: ...

She quietly averted her gaze, prompting a sigh out of the man keeping her in leash.

Alter Ego: ...Y/N? Why was BongBong in the trunk?

Y/N: Because the caretaker didn't want to deal with a dog alongside a child.

Daniel: There's a child?

Y/N: ...Uh-

...

Sasaki: I'm a grown adult!! Why am I stuck with a babysitter?!

The small man let out his frustration against the wall until a pair of footsteps made him completely silent. He quietly turned around to face the one who was supposed to take care of him, sweating bullets.

Gebura: Get ready, we're not stopping until you learn to defeat every Alephs together in a fistfight.

Sasaki: ...I'd rather have Hod than you.

Gebura: Fine, you'll also fight her too.

Sasaki: That's not... Whatever...

The librarian accepted his imminent demise as he was grabbed by the neck. With no struggles coming from him, the Red Mist calmly carried him away.

...

Y/N: I'm sure he's going to be fine, nobody's going to harm him with the babysitter I chose.

Daniel: ...I suddenly have a bad feeling-

Elis: D-Daniel, she's reaching for the food!

Y/N: Hey! Down!

BongBong: Bong...

Caught in the middle of the action, BongBong froze for a second and slowly dropped on the ground, her head looking down slightly.

Y/N: Phew, can't catch a break with her around. Hey, can someone bring the food inside?

Natsuki: I'll do it, just to make sure she didn't eat my brownies.

Yuri: ...You brought brownies?

Natsuki: Of course, it's an outdoor activity, you HAVE to bring good desserts!

Monika: Can it really be called "outdoors" if we're going to a cabin?

Cereb: Don't break her fun now, Monika. Alright everyone, let's all go inside and see what it looks like!

With the words of the apparent leader, the large group gathered their luggages and walked towards a rather large house almost fully hidden by the trees all around it. As they walked closer, Have tapped Y/N's side with her elbow.

Hava: Man, look at this, this is the most cliche horror scenery you could ever find~

Y/N: You have to thank the author for pulling this out of his ass like most other things about this fanfic.

:(

Monika: H-Hey guys, I'm sure the author is trying his best, let's not be too harsh on him.

:)

Y/N: Shut up, we all know you worship the players like gods. You'd probably wank them if you could reach them.

:')

Monika: H-Huh?!

Ahem, moving from this group, the one who went ahead of everyone finally arrived at the entrance of the massive cabin. Zeta19 silently looked up at it before emptying an entire bottle of alcohol.

Zeta19: Not as big as the brat of Heart's castle.

He chuckled to himself and swung a kick into the main door, swinging it open at full force. The inside was as one would expect: dusty, filled with an awful smell and-

Zeta19: Fucking mosquitoes!

...And filled with them.

Zeta19: This is why I hate summer, this shit sucks. I'd rather stay inside.

Cereb: But you also miss everything great about summer!

Zeta19: Where did you come from?

The ex-clerk sent a glare at Cereb, who immediately entered his personal space and wrapped one of his arms around his neck. He then lightly tapped his shoulder with a fist as he began his grand exploration.

Cereb: There's so much to do during it. You know, like camping, going to the beach, hanging out with friends, smoking weed, burying discovered bodies and attempting to forget their location in case the mafia goes looking for them!

Zeta19: ...What?

Cereb: Huh? Did you say something? I forgot.

The genuine look of confusion plastered on Cereb's face swiftly put an end to the topic, just at the right time for the others to arrive.

Daniel: Still, it's nice of Angela to let us go here. She did say that there was a surprise waiting for us.

Y/N: I wouldn't expect much. Knowing her, she probably hid a bunch of C4 everywhere in case we annoy her enough.

Morgan: ...She did mention buying a gag and a pair of handcuffs.

Elis: H-Handcuffs?! Is she locking someone in here?

...

...

Y/N: You know, come to think of it, I haven't seen Roland in a while... Meh, he's probably out there buying a sandwich.

Hava: Ooor, Angela's into role reversal, that'd be a plot twist~

Y/N: After everything she tried so far in this series to fuck me? Nah, there's a better chance we find a dead body under the floorboards than that.

Zophia: Don't you usually hide them in the closet?

Y/N: That's for after they decompose.

The captain calmly replied and stepped inside, immediately locking his gaze on a large couch in front of a large tv screen. He swiftly jumped on top of it, followed by BongBong, who was still attached to the leash.

Y/N: There, that's the ideal spot. If you need something, you know where to find me.

With a nonchalant voice, he turned on the screen and changed to a specific channel before leaning into the furniture.

Zeta19: Wow, thanks dickhead.

Cereb: We should go take a look at our rooms, I'm sure everyone is exhausted after our long trip!

Natsuki: Yea no shit, especially after what happened. I'm not letting any of you dorks in my bed.

Morgan: I don't mind sleeping on the floor... I don't really care...

Alter Ego: Of course not. Come on, let's find you a room.

Morgan: I-I said I'm fine-

Sadly, her insistence fell on deaf ears as she was dragged away by a concerned Alter Ego, followed by a devilish Hava, the usual coming from her.

The remaining librarians watched the trio leave in complete silence, a silence that was immediately lost by the show Y/N was watching.

"Ahh but we can't be together Der Freischütz, I am a magical girl fighting for justice while you're a devil!"

"...I just asked for change, I have no clue what you're talking about."

Y/N: Heh, a classic.

BongBong: BongBong.

Cereb: ...

Daniel: ...

Zeta19: ...I'll go check the basement, hopefully I find some unfinished ritual or some skeletons to make this trip worth it.

Elis: ...H-How about we go check the rooms too, Daniel?

Daniel: Sure. Alright everyone, let's meet up here in an hour, that'll be plenty of time for us to see every corners of this place.

The small girl with pink hair raised her head and saw the shape of a spider quickly retreating into the darkness, making her face turn pale.

Natsuki: I'll pass.

One by one, the group left the main room, leaving behind the duo sitting on the couch. After a while, Y/N peeked over it and turned to face BongBong leaning against him.

BongBong: Bong?

Y/N: Duh, of course we're skipping the hour. Don't need any weak shit like world building in this shitpost.

BongBong: BongBong?

Y/N: How? I dunno, maybe we'll put a funny skit as a timeskip. It works for comedy shows after all.

"...I know it's a bit sudden but can I ask for coins, I need to use the phone?"

"Bro, you came in me and the first thing you ask is for coins?"

"You're a mercenary, you have to be paid somehow, right?"

Y/N: What the fuck did I miss- Ahem, I mean TIMESKIP!

...

Butcher: ...

...

...Ahem.

Butcher: ...Oh shit, is this on?

The man with a fairy wing hurriedly adjusted his outfit as he looked straight at the camera, taking one last look at his surroundings before doing so.

His face was covered with sweat.

Butcher: A-A joke. Of course, because I TOTALLY know one! In fact it's... uh...

The drops of sweat continued to fall as he took a look at a small paper hidden in his sleeve.

Butcher: A-Ahem! Uh... What do you call a pan with an ass?

...

Butcher: ...A Pancake!

...

Butcher: ...

His face became pallid upon hearing the deafening silence following his poor attempt at comedy. His eyes slowly moved towards the one sitting behind the camera.

Butcher: You know... pancake? You get it? Pan-cake, comedy of the century, r-right?

Binah: ...A disappointing display of humour.

The Arbiter sat completely quiet for an ominously long period of time, letting the poor librarian endure her cold and merciless gaze. Finally, she spoke the sentence above with an unimpressed look on her face.

Butcher: P-Please give me a chance, it's hard to come up with a joke!

Binah: ...

Butcher: P-Please spare my family!!

Finally, after an agonizing eternity, a wide smile formed on the Sephirah's face. Seeing this, the assistant librarian fell to his knees in despair.

Butcher: I-I'll come up with a good one, please one more chance!

Binah: Oh if you insist. Then, allow me to help you. Knock knock~?

Butcher: ...W-Who... Who's there?

Binah: Meat.

...

The worker couldn't face the one behind the camera, fearing what he would see if he were to raise his gaze. His heart sank into his stomach as he forced a breath of air in his lung.

Butcher: Meat who...?

Binah: Fresh meat.

Splat

Butcher: Ah... Ah...

Laying at his feet, a severed arm was bleeding out on the floor. Around its wrist, a small wristband made of silver reflected the light around them.

Butcher: M-Mom...

Binah: Ah, this expression, it never fails to amuse me~ Very well, let us try again, shall we~?

...

...

Y/N: ...Wow, that was dark for a comedy skit.

BongBong: Bong...

The duo looked at the ceiling absentmindedly before glancing at each other. Standing right behind them, the remaining assistant librarians were gathered together. The Sun was setting down, letting in a warm orange hue through the windows.

Daniel: Alright, is everyone here?

Cereb: ...Zeta hasn't returned yet.

Y/N: He's probably still in that basement looking for spooky stuff.

Hava: He'll be fine, especially after winning a fistfight against Apocalypse Bird as a dare.

Yuri: ...He did that?

Natsuki: Why would you punch a bird, that sounds stupid.

Alter Ego: I can't disagree that it is stupid, even if it is for another reason.

Morgan: ...Should we go look for him?

Y/N: Nah, he'll be fine. So, what do we do now?

Cereb: Haha! I'm glad you asked Y/N because we're gonna go start a fire. You can't go to a cabin in the woods without making a good barbecue!

The man with red hair exclaimed with a proud grin on his face as he pulled out a few packages of sausages and other assortments of meat. Right behind him, Daniel could be seen reaching for a bag of marshmallow, to the pleasure of the ones who liked sugar.

The location of the previously mentioned fire was behind the residence. Placed all around the main attraction, multiple logs could be seen laying on the ground. Most librarians quietly took a seat, watching the small group standing in front of the campire.

Cereb: Hm, is anyone good with smacking rocks?

Daniel: We'll be here forever if we do that.

Y/N: Guys, step aside.

As the duo were discussing a method to create fire, Angela's helper walked between the both of them and snapped his fingers before pointing a finger gun at the sticks placed together.

In the next second, an explosion of hot air engulfed the grounds and a fire erupted from the wood. The cause of said sudden phenomenon stood right behind him, taking the shape of a small girl made of ashes.

She quickly dissipated into thin air but not before giving the man who called her a faint smile as he placed a hand on her head.

Natsuki: You could have warned us! I thought I was dead for a second!

Y/N: ...Oh right, forgot about that part. Oops.

Elis: A-Are you alright Daniel?!

Daniel: Huh? Oh yea, I'm fine.

It was clear as day that the initial shock was still lingering in his mind but thankfully, no one present was hurt by Y/N's "magic trick".

Moving on from this little incident, Cereb reached for the meat he brought for the event and began setting up the barbecue, inviting everyone to step closer and ready their own plates.

Seconds soon turned into minutes... and in the blink of an eye, the last bit of sunlight they were offered was nowhere to be seen. All of them gathered around the flames, the mood much more pleasant than when it first began...

...Something that was helped by the drinks brought by a certain devil with red eyes.

Hava: Come on Y/N, you gotta cut loose once in a while, now's the time~

Y/N: No thanks, the last thing I need is pass out drunk with my clothes mysteriously missing again.

Alter Ego: ...I should save up for that T Corp assassination tool, just in case.

Y/N: ...Sometimes I feel like you're too eager to kill someone.

The director's assistant mumbled towards Alter Ego as he observed the groups gathered around the campfire. Many were indulging in some pointless discussions for the sake of filling the silence while a small minority was emptying their reserve of drinks.

Time passed without any of them realizing it and yet, no one seemed to be ready to leave just yet. They deserved this small vacation after tirelessly performing their duties up until now.

Pleased with the sight of all of them hanging out together, the ex-captain shifted his weight around his seat, only to freeze in place upon sensing a disturbance.

It was the rustling of leaves.

Y/N: !

His blood turned cold as he glanced behind himself. At first he simply assumed that it was his head playing tricks on him but as he watched everyone present turn towards the same direction he faced, he understood that something was wrong.

With the exception of the fire still burning, the back of the house was completely silent. All ongoing conversations died down, leaving behind an awkward air around the campfire.

The only thing they could see behind them was the never-ending forest extending as far as their eyes could see.

Natsuki: What the hell was that?

Yuri: Rustling leaves.

Natsuki: No shit Yuri, WHAT caused them to rustle?

Monika: It probably is some animal lurking around, we are in a forest after all.

Hava: In the City of all places, you're an optimistic one~

Monika: Haha, I try my best.

A forceful chuckle escaped from Monika's lips as she replied to Hava's remark. During that period of time, Cereb stood up from his seat and slowly made his way towards the edge of the forest.

His eyes quickly looked around for any signs of wild animals but no movements could be seen.

Seeing this, a strike of "genius" entered his brain as he shrugged to the rest of the group.

Cereb: Must have been the wind-

Rustle

Y/N: Hey, behind-!

However, the second his back was turned to the direction of the odd noise, it immediately returned with double the intensity. Then, from within the shadows, a figure lunged at Malkuth's assistant. The scene occured over the span of at best 3 seconds... and yet, in spite of that-

Hava: Hup~!

The devil with crimson eyes swung her arm holding onto the skewer she used to cook her food and sent the utensil directly into the attacker's chest, causing them to fall on the ground.

Cereb immediately took the opportunity and ran back to the group before turning around to face the unknown danger.

Those closest to the forest stepped away out of caution, a feeling that ended up possibly saving their lives as more shapes emerged from the darkness beyond the trees. Humanoid figures entered the light, glaring at the librarian with bright red eyes.

There were a dozen standing at the front while many other pairs of eyes could be seen between them.

Elis: W-What are those people?!

Natsuki: Look at how pale they are, they look like freaking vampires.

Yuri: Natsuki, vampires are not-

Hava: They're bloodfiends but sure, you can call them vampires, I doubt they care.

Natsuki: Wait, YOU'RE SERIOUS?!

Y/N: See?! I told you to not trust Angela, she must have planned this!

Daniel: Less complaining and more running! Everyone get inside!!

Daniel's booming voice echoed across the air, urging everyone to spring into action... including the horde of red-eyed monsters. They charged at the nearest people they could reach, exposing red crystals forming on their skin.

Unfortunately for them, the targets they tried to feast on retaliated via their metallic utensils alongside a few "special effects", courtesy of the director's assistant.

Y/N: You'll regret crawling out of the medieval age you pale dogs!

The former captain sent a taunt towards the crystallized monsters before swinging the large match he held in his hand, creating a wide arc of flames that turned everything in its path into ashes. This bought enough time for the remaining group to gather inside before locking the door.

Once inside, they were greeted by their coworkers trying their best to block any windows they could find.

Alter Ego: Ah.. Ah... Why is this happening...

Hava: Man, talk about a horror cliché, a group of helpless survivors stuck in the middle of nowhere~

Morgan: ...I'm more scared of you than the vampires.

Hava: Great because you'll need your courage if you want to be useful~

Cereb: Has anyone seen a hammer around? We need to board up the windows!

The voice of the man with red hair was swiftly followed by a scream alongside glass breaking. Inside of the living room, one of the pallid demons was getting back on their feet. Behind it, the broken glass offered no way to stop any further threats from entering.

Y/N: Everyone, jump his ass!

Aware of that fact, everyone present who had the smallest amount of combat experience rushed the vampire and punched him in all directions. Chairs were swung and blades were thrusted into its body.

Natsuki: W-What are we supposed to do?!

Monika: Let's go take care of the windows upstairs. Yuri, let's hurry.

Yuri: R-Right.

The trio who worked on the Floor of Literature ran upstairs via the stairs accessible in the living room before splitting apart in order to complete their task faster, leaving behind the remaining librarians to deal with the intruder.

Y/N: Get the forks and knives, we're turning this moron into hacked meat!

Daniel: Special delivery!

Followed by Elis, Daniel entered the room with a bucket of water and faced the monster before emptying the entirety of it on it. Then, he smacked the side of its skull with said bucket.

Alter Ego: I found a cross!

Alter Ego suddenly exclaimed as she emerged from the bathroom on the first floor. She ran as fast as she could towards the rest of the group and exchanged a handclap with Daniel, switching position.

She brandished the decorative piece of wood in front of the creature and, with a determined look, began to recite prayers that would make the pope shiver.

Alter Ego: O Lord, hear my prayer, heed my call and help me banish this... this... uh... this stain on humanity I guess. Anyway, send them down into your personal shithole, amen.

It was clear for everyone present that she was pulling every single words she said out of her ass but hey, as long as it made the trick, no one could complain...

...Until she began beating its face in with the cross she held. Using it as a stake, she slammed the wooden object into its skull repeatedly until the cross shattered. Finally, she shoved the shards inside its eyes before sending a kick into them.

The monster with red eyes recoiled upon receiving this direct hit and took a step back, allowing Hava, who stood behind, to jump on its back and grab its neck. With a wide grin on her face, she pulled again & again repeatedly before making it rotate abruptly to the right.

The neck swiftly dislocated itself, cutting off any sorts of communication between its brain and the rest of its body. The now heavy corpse collapsed on the floor for everyone present to see and on top of it, its murderer swiped her hands against each other, pretending to dust them off.

Y/N: ...That was brutal.

Morgan: So... did we win?

Hava: Far from it~ We only killed a minion, the real bloodfiend is still out there.

Elis: T-That was only a minion?!

The shock escaping from Elis' lips was followed by multiple windows shattering. On the other side, many shapes were reaching inside while others climbed inside.

Cereb: Here comes the boss rush!

Daniel: Man, why a boss rush, I hate doing those things.

The complaint fell on deaf ears, ignored and forgotten due to the screeches coming from the familiars inside the cabin. With nowhere else to go, the group retreated to the second floor while making sure to maintain a covering fire.

As they reached the top of the stairs, however, a question rose among the group as they counted everyone present, one they had completely forgotten hours ago.

Cereb: Where's Zeta?

Y/N: ...

Alter Ego: Is he still in the basement?

Yuri: T-Then it means he's still down there.

Natsuki: It's been HOURS, what the hell is he doing?!

Daniel: ...Let's hope he's somewhere safe, we have to hold our grounds.

As worried as they were about his sudden disappearance, none of them were stupid enough to propose the idea of going back down to save him. The bottom floor was quickly being overrun by their attackers, all starting to accumulate in the stairs.

Seeing this, Hava quietly slipped past everyone present until she stood next to Angela's assistant, who was at the front shooting down the stairs with a pink staff, which sent multiple flying stars at his targets.

Y/N: Hava?

Hava: I'll deal with them, you guys need to get out. It won't end until the bloodfiend dies.

Cereb: They're not zombies, I'm sure if we stick together, we'll be able to kill them all-

The confidence of the assistant librarian was met by the sound of the locked backdoor being thrown into the wall, allowing what caused said damage to land perfectly in the middle of the living room.

It looked like a massive wolf with crystals poking out from its fur. Its claws were covered with blood and its eyes were bloodshot.

The second it turned its head, however, the librarians immediately noticed the upper body of a person attached to it, limply following its motions.

Morgan: Oh great... a Distortion.

The gloomy voice of the girl with long hair caused Natsuki to turn towards the one who jinked them before crossing her arms.

Natsuki: Well, got anything else to say, you oh so great master of timing?

Cereb: ...I mean, it's just a Distortion, I'm sure we can-

Before he could finish his sentence, Natsuki slammed her foot between his legs and made him fall down on the floor, letting out a cry of pain.

Natsuki: That wasn't an invitation to say something moron!

Y/N: Yea. Honestly, you deserved it, I can't defend you.

Cereb: It was... a joke...

His voice grew faint before his smacked against the wooden ground. With a heavy sigh, the director's helper looked at Hava still standing her grounds.

Y/N: Hava... can you still do it?

In response, she briefly turned back to him and gave him her usual expression.

Hava: I'll win.

Y/N: ...I mean, you better be, the fans would be upset otherwise.

Hava: All of you, go.

With nothing else to say to each other, Y/N grabbed Cereb by the collar and urged everyone towards the end of the corridor, where a small balcony could be seen on the other side of the window.

Behind them, sounds of battle could be heard going at full force. No one dared to look back, not wanting to scar their eyes with what could be there.

As they ran closer to the door, the moonlit sky grew bigger until Y/N was close enough to swing Cereb's limp body into the door to force it open.

This was immediately by a scream of pain.

Cereb: Ow, I got glass shards in my face!

Y/N: Get over it, we have a vampire to hunt and guess what they like to feast on?

Cereb: Aww, why am I the bait?

Y/N: ...Ahem.

Cereb: I know, I know, no need to remind me.

The blood flowing down the assistant librarian's face hid the fright he held at the thought of being thrown at a bloodfiend. His collar was then forcefully raised by the director's helper as he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Y/N: Hey, you albino inbred, come on out, we've got a peace offering for you!

Alter Ego: I don't think you should start negotiations by insulting them.

Daniel: Wait, let him try, it doesn't hurt.

Yuri: I feel like this statement is completely erroneous. However, I do not have the energy to refute it.

The girl with long purple hair let out a faint sigh as she reached inside her sleeve and pulled out a blade. Her eyes remained fixated on it, making her unable to see the hand of the man leading the conversation grabbing said weapon.

Y/N: If I were you I'd hurry. I mean, look at all that fresh blood, just simply being wasted! He might not make it if you take your time.

Cereb: I think I'll be fine, as long as I don't remove the glass shards I should-

Y/N: Nope!

The present self-insert abruptly cut him off and swung the blade into his thigh, forcing a scream of pain out of him.

Y/N: Ooooh the misery, his poor, battered body shows no signs of improvement. His, warm, still flowing blood is rapidly falling out of his wounds, What will we dooooo?

The voice of the assistant flew deep into the massive forest surrounding the cabin. Below them, on the ground floor, many walking bodies covered with red could be seen looking up at them, almost expecting them to jump off into their arms.

Y/N: ...

Unfortunately, no response replied to the offering, leaving Y/N standing like a moron. He turned to face the rest of the group while still holding onto Cereb.

Y/N: Oh well, I tried. I guess we're all going to die.

Natsuki: You're giving up, just like that?!

Y/N: What do you want me to do, pull a deus ex machima out of my ass? It's not large enough to fit one big enough to save us from this.

Natsuki: ...

The small girl with pink hair crossed her arms and gave him an unimpressed look, clearly not believing a single word he just said. In response, he rolled his eyes and placed his free hand against his hip.

Y/N: Ok fine, I could do an asspull but what's the fun in that? It wouldn't be a shitpost if you don't give it time.

Monika: Haha... Y-Y/N, maybe now would be the time to do so, don't you think?

Y/N: Ugh, fiiiiiine but you guys all owe me one.

Natsuki: You better do it right or else you won't hear the end of it when we all die.

Morgan: ...Are ghosts even a thing?

Natsuki: I'll make them real if they're not.

With a disgruntled complaint thrown at the author, the reader insert tossed the still bleeding Cereb into Daniel's arms before telling him to take care of it. Afterwards, he stepped near the edge and yelled once more.

Y/N: Alright bloodsucker, listen up. Now's your last chance, you hear me? So come out now and I'll... I can't believe I'm about to say this... I'll let you suck something else, if you catch my drift.

Alter Ego: I hope this doesn't work-

Alter Ego's beg was swiftly interrupted by noises coming from the dark forest, prompting her already somber face to be covered with an even bigger shadow.

Said disturbance grew closer until finally, a lone figure stepped out, wearing an outfit that no one present had ever seen before...

...

...Unlike her face.

Angela: Alright, I'm here, let's do it.

Daniel: ...No fucking way-

Y/N: Angela! I should have known it was you responsible for all of this!

The director's assistant raised a finger in her direction. In response, the AI known as the Pale librarian reached inside her outfit and pulled out a white wig before putting it on her head.

Angela: Angela? I don't know any Angela. My name is... Angelica.

Y/N: ...Oh, sorry about that. I swear she was there a second ago.

Yuri: ...Is this really happening?

Natsuki: I wish I was the one trapped in that basement.

Y/N: Moving on from that. You, mysterious woman, you better put an end to this right now! Or else, we'll be forced to sent your somewhat nice ass into the grave.

A few pair of eyes slowly turned to look at Alter Ego, who was seen downing an entire bottle of wine in complete silence, looking at what was unfolding with a cold expression. Once empty, she took a good swing and sent the bottle into a minion's head, causing the creature to collapse.

Then, she began to mumble to herself.

Alter Ego: Just let it pass, it's for the joke, just ignore it.

Unaware of what was happening behind him, Angela's helper placed a foot on top of the fence surrounding the balcony and sent a glare at the "bloodfiend", who calmly replied by undoing her top to expose her cleavage.

Y/N: Don't make come down there!

Angelica(?): I definitely wouldn't mind you doing so.

Y/N: ...Logic is telling me that doing so would be a TERRIBLE idea buuuut, you did ask so... Here I come!

Morgan: ...We're all doomed.

A sigh slipped from between Morgan's lips just right before the dumbass attempting to solve this situation jumped from the second floor down to the ground. His head landed first in the dirt, causing his body to bounce once before landing motionless.

Everyone present, including the underlings of the vampire, stared at the possible corpse laying down. Some were shocked, others were reaching a depressive state at the thought of meeting their demise and a certain person only showed arousal.

Angelica(?): A corpse is fine too.

However, before she could touch him, Y/N immediately jumped back on his feet and tossed a handful of sand into her eyes.

Y/N: Ahah, element of surprise! Pocket sand!

With the advantage in this fight, the asisstant librarian dashed towards her before tackling her into the still burning campfire outside. At first, no one present on the scene moved, even the girl currently burning alive.

Hell, even time itself seemed to have paused briefly. This was clearly not planned by anyone present and it was evident by their expressions.

After a prolonged silence, the one who pushed the white haired girl looked around before taking a step back. 

...Only to immediately begin a victory dance.

Elis: W-What is he doing?

[Summer Cabin Stage 1 Completed!]

Natsuki: Stage 1, what do you mean stage 1?!

[Score: 19570]

[Time: 12:01]

[Highest Combo: 21]

[Hitless Boss Bonus: 2500]

[Rank: A]

Y/N: Alright!!

Cereb: ...What the fuck is this, a sonic level?

The librarian who should have passed minutes ago from the bloodloss weakly asked before smacking his skull against the floor.

On the ground floor, the mindless minions looked at their master currently burning inside the fire before looking at each other.

Minion 1: So, does that mean we can leave?

Minion 2: I can't believe we did all of this and we're not getting paid.

Minion 3: Man, I knew this job would suck ass but not to this extend.

Natsuki: ...Wait, you guys can speak?

Minion 2: ...Oops.

Minion 3: Great, look what you guys did.

Minion 1: You're not an exception Vince.

Y/N: Vince? Wait... are you guys...

The still dancing assistant ended his gig by striking a confident pose before immediately turning around to face the trio who spoke up. He looked at the trio one by one until one of them pulled their face, revealing it to be a mask.

Right behind it a face familiar to everyone present made the the winning side gasp in shock.

Y/N: Dana?!

Dana: ...You guys left us behind, I just assumed Angela would also bring us here, not force us in these costumes.

Following after her, the remaining duo took their their accessories and greeted the librarians with their true indentities exposed.

Zophia: We also got paid less than minimum wage... Well, would would be more accurate, now that you guys sent her into the fire. I guess I can say goobye to that paycheck.

Vince: I was smacked from behind and woke up here, I just wanted my cup of coffee.

One by one, the underlings removed what they wore and scattered, most of them voice their complaints as they walked out of the stage. In the span of a few minutes, the only people left were the librarians.

Right as the last person could no longer be seen, Hava walked onto the balcony. She was covered from head to toes with blood and in her hand, she was holding the decapitated head of the wolf.

Hava: Phew, looks like they all retreated. Is everyone alright?

Daniel: Hava, they were all paid actors.

Hava: ...

The girl with red eyes froze in place upon hearing this revelation, washing away all the bloodlust she carried in her system. She, afterwards, glanced down at the head she carried as a trophy. She shook it around but nothing was seemingly stuffed inside.

A brief expression of confusion showed on her face but after noticing that nobody was paying attention to what she was holding, she dropped it on the wooden balcony.

Hava: Man, you all look like you've gone through hell, what happened?

Alter Ego: Too long, can't be bothered, I'm going back to the van.

Alter Ego was the first one to reply. She held a monotone voice that clashed with her usual, cheerful attitude she tried to keep at all time. Hava quietly watched her slowly make her way towards the end of the platform they stood on and jump down, following Y/N's footsteps.

Though, unlike him, she landed perfectly on her legs and remained fully still, completely unaffected by gravity.

Y/N: Not bad.

Alter Ego: Not a word from you, get in the van, we're leaving.

Y/N: ...Yes mommy.

With a voice of defeat, Angela's helper followed her footsteps as they made their way around the cabin.

Hava: Woah, what happened to him?

Cereb: I'm still... alive...

Daniel: Not for long if you keep trying to talk. Everyone, let's get out of here.

Natsuki: You won't hear me complain, that's for sure.

Yuri: That is what you have done the entire time we have been here.

Natsuki: Not now Yuri!

As this was occuring the duo who left early could be seen sitting next to each other in the vehicle they arrived here in. On one side, Alter Ego was looking ahead, completely silent. On the other, Y/N was looking at her, seeing her bad mood.

Y/N: ...I'm sleeping on the couch, aren't I?

Alter Ego: We don't have a couch.

Y/N: ...Oh, the floor it is then.

His shoulders lowered slightly, knowing what would soon happen. One by one, the librarians they left behind entered and took their seats while another group went inside the second car they used.

...Yes, Cereb was left in the driver's seat.

Said driver looked behind for a moment and took a moment to count the heads present before looking back at the wheel.

Cereb: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Alter Ego: Your bloodloss?

Y/N: The dog- Wait, shit, BongBong! I haven't seen her seen during this whole shitshow, she must have ran away!

The librarian hurriedly undid his seatbelt and jumped out of the vehicle before calling a certain someone loudly.

Y/N: BongBong, we're leaving! Come back!

BongBong: Bong.

His fears instantly shattered upon hearing an immediate response to his call. He looked in all directions but couldn't locate the girl with blue hair until he looked down and saw said girl buried in the ground with the exception of her head.

Before he could say anything more, she jumped out of her hole and latched onto the man, forcing a sigh out of him.

Y/N: Phew, I guess that's solved. Alright, we're good to go.

With not a single care in the world, the man sat back into his seat and placed BongBong in the free seat on the other side of him. He attached both his and her seatbelt before telling Cereb to start the engine.

Y/N: ...

Alter Ego: ...

BongBong: BongBong.

Y/N: I know, we left the luggages in there.

Cereb: ...Nope, I still can't get rid of this feeling. What are we missing?

Alter Ego: Your blood, start driving before you pass out.

Cereb: Y-Yes ma'am.

With a stutter in his response, Cereb turned the key in the engine and began driving away, following the second car who already went ahead of them. As they made some distance away from the cabin, BongBong turned to look at Y/N.

BongBong: BongBong.

Y/N: You too? Maybe we did forget something... but I can't figure out what.

...

...

https://youtu.be/RMkPCtVOt4k

Zeta19: Shit shit shit shit SHIT!

The voice belonging to the clerk rang out as he ran at full sprint across the entire basement. Right behind him, a group of 4 statues could be seen charging at full speed, aiming directly for the kill.

One by one, all of them flew at an incredible speed, forcing Zeta to respond by jumping out of the way.

Zeta19: Give me a fucking break!

In retaliation, the clerk tossed a ball against one of them, only to watch it bounce off and inflict no damage.

His face quickly lost any colorations it had as he watched the group slide closer before levitating in the air.

Zeta19: ...

Seeing the statues above his head, the man with blue hair made an invisible cross with his hands, knowing what would soon happen. In his last moments, he let out a sigh as he looked at the camera.

Zeta19: That's what I get for going full BP.

...

...

Daniel: Aaaaaand the end.

The voice belonging to Daniel snapped everyone present back to reality and he finished reading the last sentence on the sheet of paper he held. After ending his sentence, he raised his eyes and looked at everyone present.

All seating around a large table, every assistant librarians could be seen looking back at him in complete silence. On the other side, Hod was holding a smile on her face, also doing the same to motivate people to speak.

Right above them, a large banner was hanging with the message "Weekly Fanfic Meeting" written on it.

The entire table was left speechless after being subjected to the tale that Daniel revealed to them.

Daniel: So, how was it? I tried my best and I'm really proud of it.

Y/N: That was by far the worst fanfiction I've had the misfortune of hearing. I hope you and your entire bloodline is ashamed of what you have brought upon this land.

Patchouli: I wasn't even in it.

Christopher: Me too.

Sasaki: I swear to god I'm going to strangle the next person calling me a kid.

Alter Ego: Why did you turn me into a cold and jealous girlfriend?

His question was immediately answered by waves of complaints, causing the smile on his face to go upside down.

Daniel: I mean, I tried my best, I think it's fine at best.

Y/N: Trust me, I've been in a lot of fanfics on this site and I can tell you that the shit you just made match their level. Hell, even the one we're in is just as dogshit as the stain you've created on mankind.

:(

Elis: I-It wasn't that bad Daniel, I thought it was nice.

Daniel: ...Thanks Elis.

Hod: E-Everyone, let's not be too harsh. We're all here to share our talent and improve between each other.

Hava: Oh yea, now that I remember, it's your turn Hod~

Hod: ...

Y/N: Right, Hod, what did you bring? I can assure that you can't do as bad as him.

Daniel: Aw....

Hod: O-Oh... well, you see... I feel like we've done a lot today so I was planning to end this-

Hava: Too slow~

Before the Sephirah could formulate her excuse, the girl with red eyes grabbed what belonged to the girl in charge of the floor they were currently on. She then jumped away and whistled upon taking a look at the first page.

Hava: Oh, what do we have here~?

Hod: A-Ah, don't look!

She rose from her seat and begged the girl, only for her worst fear to happen as she watched her turn what she took for everyone to see.

On the front page, everyone was able to see both Hod and Y/N sitting next to each other, sharing a laughter.

Y/N: ..."Our shared time?"

Hod: A-A-Ah...

Her face turned into a blushing mess as she covered her face with her hands, collapsing into a bundle of shame.

Hava completely ignored her and turned to the next page with a devilish grin.

Hava: Let's see those tags: Straight, kiss, hugs, handholding and oooooh, what do we have here? Ntr too, I didn't know you were into this type of stuff~

Alter Ego: ...Wait, ntr?!

Y/N: ...Honestly, I was expecting this type of stuff from Angela of all things. I mean come on, HANDHOLDING? That's like borderline evil!

Hod: I'm soooorrryy! Please stop looking at it!!

(Sorry about the long upload. I wanted to make this chapter shorter but I got so into it that I ended up with more than double the amount of words I was originally planning.

I got really inspired to make a shitty fanfic inside an already shitty fanfic. I guess it's my brain indirectly telling me to write something else before I burn myself out. Maybe I will, just to reset my brain for a bit.

Maybe, I need a break from the same story once in a while.)