Well well, I welcome all of you to the first chapter of a mini-series that will also occur alongside the main story. As the title suggest, it's mostly gonna be dumb and batshit insane scenarios that wouldn't fit in the original story due to lore and all that stuff.

All of the stories that occur in the Crack of Ruina series are in an alternate universe where everyone is deranged and have lost the majority of their braincells after being trapped in a Singularity of dumbassery for 10 000 years, so of course, they're not canon. You can consider this the Carnival Phantasm of this shitty fanfiction for those of you who know what that is.

And of course, Crack of Ruina does NOT care about spoilers so you better know every little thing about the game or else you gonna receive a massive kick in the face.

(Yes, this my way to write the dumb ideas my sleep deprived brain create, leave me alone.)

Y/N: Alright, today's the day!

Suddenly, like a corpse emerging from his grave, the librarian jumped to his feet, causing the white haired girl to look up at him in confusion.

Y/N: Today I'll do something with my shitty life!

Morgan: ...So you're finally gonna kill Angela?

Y/N: God damn it, now you ruined my good mood. Why did you make me remember that?

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Once that was done, he aimed his finger towards the ceiling while making a dumb pose that would make anyone with at least a single functioning braincell roll their eyes from the awkwardness.

Y/N: No, today, I will make a bed!

Morgan: A bed?

Y/N: I mean, have you looked at the room we're in, it's empty!

He proved his point by spinning around the empty room they were in. Morgan, on the other hand, was content with just sitting down on the floor and stare at the ex-employee, her hair almost covering the entirety of her legs.

Y/N: I'm tired of sleeping on the floor, plus Angela keeps sniffing me when I do!

Morgan: ...She does?

Y/N: She does what?

Morgan: ...You just said that-

Y/N: Don't remember. Anyway, back to the bed, I think I should go with a style that suits me best!

The girl sitting on the ground sighed and tried to stand up, only to trip on her long hair and slam her face directly onto the floor, causing Y/N to look back at her.

Y/N: Exactly! I need something that'll make people fall on the ground from stupor and say "How could I not think of that!"

Morgan: I taste blood...

Y/N: ...Uh, we might want to patch you up.

However, as he said so, his gaze slowly averted to the corner of the room.

Y/N: But at the same time the bed... hmm, difficult decision.

Morgan: ...

Slowly, her body rose back up until she was capable to stand on her feet without falling back down. As she did so, she saw the man open a book he was carrying around while pointing his other hand at the corner like he was casting a spell.

Y/N: I summon you, bed!

Morgan: That's not how it-

Before she could finish her sentence, a flash of light filled the room, so bright that it could be seen THROUGH the door leading back outside. Its intensity, thankfully, did not last for long and once their vision returned, a single pillow was on the ground.

Y/N: Tadaaa! I'm a fucking wizard!

Morgan: It's just a pillow...

Y/N: But not just any pillow! It's a- Wait a second.

Sensing that something was off, Angela's assistant stepped closer and crouched down to take a better look at it. A long silence persisted until his eyes widened and he began to puke on the floor next to him.

Morgan: Y/N?!

Y/N: What the hell is this?! This is horrible! This... This is a nightmare!

He stood up in a fury and brandished the long pillow like he was a child throwing a tantrum, revealing what was on the other side. The revelation caused the girl to blink twice out of shock.

Morgan: Why is Angela printed on the pillow?

Y/N: Exactly! I asked for a divine bed, not a bodypillow, especially not one with such a shit taste!

With that, he violently tossed the object back in the corner and took a step back, brandishing his hand towards it once more.

Y/N: Bed, I summon thee... or whatever they say in movies to make it look cool.

As he mumbled those words, the man quickly composed himself just in time to witness a second surge of light filling the room. Just like the first time, the blinding sight lasted for a second at most, revealing a standard bed that one would expect to find in a regular apartment.

Well... mostly.

Y/N: ...

Morgan: ...

Something, or rather someone, was laying on top of the furniture that the librarian created with the help of the Light. The room became completely silent except for the few noises coming from the newcomer. This, however, did not last long once a familiar voice reached their ears.

Y/N: ...Queen of Hatred? What are you doing here?

QoH: Hm?

Hearing her name being called, the magical girl turned her head to face the librarian. In one of her hand, a bowl filled with ice cream was present, currently resting on her thighs while her second hand was holding a spoon. Her eyes revealed genuine surprise.

Then, as if fearing what might happen next, the abnormality began stuffing her mouth with her ice cream in a hurry. Her hands moved swiftly from her mouth to the bowl to the point that it looked like a blur to the librarians in the room.

QoH: Ow! Brain freeze!

Of course, with such action, the result was easily predicted. With a bead of sweat falling down from their faces, Morgan and Y/N observed the once extremely dangerous monster who roamed the halls of Lobotomy Corporation roll on the floor while clutching her head.

As they did so, Angela's assistant began to feel some sympathy towards the poor girl and stepped closer, crouching to her level as well.

Y/N: Are... you alright?

QoH: No... My head is freezing.

She whispered in return, sparing a glance in his direction.

Y/N: ...Uh, do you need something?

QoH: ...My body is cold.

The words she let out were quite weak, unlike the sudden grasp she had on Y/N's outfit. The man jumped out of fright but soon realized that he was stuck in place, held against his will by the girl on the floor.

Slowly, like a corpse emerging from its grave, her head moved to stare into his eyes, a wide smile and shrunk iris plastered on her face. The expression revealed to him left a sour taste in the employee's mouth.

QoH: I need the warmth of your body to melt my heart.

Y/N: ...I think you need a bed.

Yet, despite the scary expression he was receiving, the ex-captain of the Command Team grabbed the magical girl in his arms, causing her creepy face to melt into a blushing mess. Without another word, he gently placed her on the bed and took the pillow to straighten it...

...Before shoving it in her face and holding it in place.

Y/N: Morgan, quick, get rid of the bed!

Morgan: H-Huh?!

Taken aback by the sudden murder attempt, the long-haired woman stuttered in her surprise.

Y/N: Take the book and make it go away! Or change it, I don't care!

Morgan: B-But I don't know how...

Feeling the pressure placed on her back, she hurriedly grabbed the book on the floor and opened it, revealed empty pages. She flipped through the pages but to her surprise, they were completely empty, no matter how far she searched.

Y/N: Just cast the spell, think of the movies!

Morgan: W-What movies?!

Y/N: Who cares, do it!

QoH: Y/N, let me go now or you won't hear the end of it!

Ignoring the threatening voice, the girl working as an assistant on Keter's floor raised her hand towards the strange sight. As she did so, her hair began to levitate, spreading like angelic wings. Y/N silently observed her movements until her panicked voice echoed.

Morgan: Get out!

Then, a flash of light followed. The second the duo were given back the gift of sight, the man let out an audible "phew" before making his way to his saviour. Once close enough, his hands took hold of the book she was holding.

Morgan: ...Why was Queen of Hatred here?

Y/N: ...Maaaagic?

...

Y/N: Ok fine, I don't know, don't give me that look.

A sigh escaped Morgan's lips in return, averting her attention to her hair, making sure that no knots formed during her little magic trick. With hair as long as hers, it was an understandable worry.

Y/N: Hm... Maybe I should go with something simpler.

Morgan: ...You're still going to try?

Y/N: Yea. How else am I supposed to learn how to use the Light? You have to take some risks in life!

Morgan: Maybe we should stop for no-

Y/N: Too late, already doing it.

Morgan: Y-Y/N!

Y/N: Oh Light, grant me-

However, and thankfully in Morgan's case, his "spell" was interrupted by the sound of the door behind them swinging open forcefully. The employees jumped out of fright and froze in place, feeling a deadly chill running up their spines.

Slowly, their eyes met before looking at the unannounced guest. In the doorway, the silhouette of a short-haired woman wearing a dark outfit along was present. Her amber eyes drilled into the both of them like a sniper aiming at their target, causing said targets to remain completely silent.

Angela: What are you both doing here?

Morgan: ...A-Angela.

Y/N: I... uh, nothing!

Her frown only grew stronger in response to his answer. She was not pleased in the slightest and he knew that.

Angela: What. Are. You. Both. Doing?

"Come on Y/N, think of something smart", his brain whispered to him as he tried to find a way to escape this awkward situation. Sadly for him, due to plot convenience and mostly due to the nature of this mini-series, his next words were like gasoline thrown into the fire.

Y/N: I'm trying to get away from your bitch ass by using the Light in order to create myself an AI that won't actually throw a tantrum and backstab me the moment I blink. Though, considering your brain power, I doubt it even crossed your mind because you're so busy having a hate boner for your creator.

Morgan: ...Oh no.

The girl by his side let a pair of words and stepped into the corner of the room, knowing what was soon going to happen.

The air grew frigid the moment the word "AI" left his mouth and only worsened with new word afterwards. By the end, the trio were standing in a metaphorical slaughterhouse. Angela's left eye briefly blinked due to a spasm caused by her barely contained wrath.

Angela: You want to learn how to use the Light so badly?

Y/N: Gives me a reason to not focus on you.

In the corner of the room, Morgan was desperately trying to stop Y/N from digging his own grave deeper, all of her actions completely ignored. Powerless to do anything, she watched as the Director grabbed the librarian by the neck.

Angela: Good, because I'm willing to give you a perfect lesson.

Following that, a snap echoed and the both of them were completely gone. The girl with white hair stood motionless, observing the now empty spot where Y/N once was. Finally, she made an invisible cross with her fingers.

Morgan: ...May you rest in peace Y/N.

Now all on her own, she sat down in the empty room, embracing the floor like it was a bed welcoming her. She was used to the floor, for many reasons, so she didn't mind.

...

...

Malkuth: Mhm hmmhmm~

On her own in the Floor of History, Malkuth was calmly placing the books she had gathered around, a bright smile on her face as she did so. As much as she would have liked some help, her floor was still new and thus she had to take care of her agenda without any assistance.

Despite her initial dispute with Angela, she was quite happy to do her own things in her own space, especially since Y/N was also present in the Library. As she sat down to look at the books around her, she pondered about the employee she used to boss around. Looking past the horrible actions she did, his smile brought one to her face.

Malkuth: But I still don't forgive him for running away with Roland.

She revealed a small pout and grabbed the closest book to her, ready to immerse herself into its content.

"Are you learning now?"

"Not with your rusty attitude, I bet your metal oxydate just by hearing your own voice."

Malkuth: ...Was that Y/N?

Taken aback by the odd voices, her eyes looked in the direction of the entrance. At first, she wanted to simply ignore it but she was forced to acknowledge that the voices were indeed real as they got closer.

She quietly stood up from her seat and stood still, feeling a chill run through her entire body. It was a sensation telling her that she was in great danger. With the madness approaching with rapid steps, the patron librarian widened her eyes just in time before a figure dashed into the room.

Malkuth: Y/N?!

Y/N: Oh hey Malkuth!

As he ran past her, he casually sent a wave in her direction before focusing back on what was ahead of him.

Y/N: If I were you I'd hide!

Malkuth: Hide-?

She turned back in the direction of the entrance as she expressed her confusion, only for it to choke her the moment she saw what followed him.

The one on his trail was none other than Angela, sprinting, a sight that left the one in charge of the Floor of History completely silent. The short-haired AI, focused entirely on her assistant was launching ranged attacks composed of pure Light at him. In return, the man swiftly dodged and rarely retaliated by throwing a book at her face.

Y/N: This is not teaching, it's a murder attempt!

Angela: You wanted to learn so badly, I'm just granting you that wish.

The duo continued this game of at and mouse, both attempting to come out of the battle as the victor. On the sideline, Malkuth observed the scene with an expression of shock, her eyes following the action to the best of her capabilities.

Back to the action, Y/N was sprinting through the spaces not occupied by the bookshelves and the furnitures, feeling Angela's attack grazing his back. A drop of sweat fell down his face as he slid under a table, emerging on the other side with a book that he immediately tossed in his pursuer's direction.

At the speed they were both going, one would almost expect to see some golden rings floating around for the poor assistant to grab.

Y/N: You want me to learn? Then, how about this!

Suddenly, without any warning, the first runner spun around and used the small window of time he was facing the AI to raise his hand in her direction. As he held the empty book in his second one, a small bullet of Light pierced the air and barely hit the target he was aiming at.

Y/N: Ha! See? Didn't even need your help! 

A small grin formed on his face as he ran up the stairs, leading the Director back on the upper floor. As she was about to enter the stairway, the patron librarian was able to faintly hear her mumble to herself.

Angela: Once I get my hands on you, you gonna wish I only broke your limbs.

Finally, the both of them were out of her sight, allowing her to emerge from her hiding spot. Her face was currently sweating bullets for multiple reasons: one being her close encounter with death yet again and the other being that Y/N was playing with said death at this rate.

Malkuth: ...Please be safe Y/N.

She whispered those words of good luck towards the librarian and sat back down, focusing back on her book in an attempt to dissipate her stress.

...

...

On the upper layer, a war was occuring. Books were scattered around, tables broken and chairs thrown around. The smell of war was oozing from the floor as Angela and Y/N were locked in a duel of wits, trying to overpower the opponent.

On one side, the machine was completely unaffected by the constant fighting with the exception of her growing frustration. On the other, the human was sweating immensely, his body was put to its limit. However, unlike the director who simply couldn't experience fatigue due to being a robot, the librarian was also not experiencing the exhaustion of his body. The reason?

His spite.

Y/N: Man, you can definitely tell you weren't made for this stuff considering your aim.

He shrugged before dodging a projectile, retaliating with one of his own in return. Afterwards, he resumed his sprint, feeling the anger pointed at him. Out of instinct he jumped, barely avoiding yet another attack aimed at his leg.

The battle felt never-ending, both sides were not willing to give up. During this chaos, a lone figure stepped inside the room, lured in by the commotion heard throughout the entire Library.

Roland: Hey Angela, I wanted to-

However, the Fixer stood completely still once his sight landed on the warzone that the Keter floor had turned into. Without a single other word, the man dressed in a black suit slowly walked out of door while maintaining an eye contact on the duel.

He was not willing to risk his life on that.

Y/N: Is it me or are the attacks getting faster?

He pondered to himself as he charged to the right to avoid a burst of Light aiming for his back. One thing was certain: Angela's rage was definitely growing.

Y/N: Heh, maybe at this rate, her anger will be able to reach the size of her ego... if given at least 20 years.

He chuckled to himself on that last part and swiftly jumped on a table. As he turned around to aim, his eyes widened when the only thing he could see was the Director's face charging at him at full speed. Unable to do anything, the weight of the AI pressed against his body forced him to fall on the floor.

A groan of pain escaped his lips. His head was spinning but not enough to cause him any nausea. He slowly opened his eyes, only to reveal a certain girl with blue hair on top of him, pinning his arms and legs on the floor.

Angela: ...

Her glare was piercing him like he was a shooting target. A weak sigh escaped his lips before his first words adressed the situation.

Y/N: You got me... Now what? You gonna slash my limbs like how you did with Roland?

He asked with a slight grin. If she killed him, it would only give him a chance to not endure her for a short bit, making him unafraid of death.

Yet, strangely, the one with the wider smile was Angela. She looked down at him with a smile that caused the sweats going down Y/N's face to feel colder than they usually are.

Angela: Like I said before.

She her face closer and whispered in his ear.

Angela: Once I get my hands on you, you gonna wish I only broke your limbs.

Y/N: ...A-Angela?

A stutter made itself known as he called the director's name. Her grin only grew wider, making the librarian realize that she wasn't going to physically torture him, she was planning something much worse.

Following that, a scream was heard throughout the entirety of the Library, leaving its residents confused about its origin. It would soon become one of the many mysteries of this strange apparition called "The Library".

(That, everyone, is the conclusion of the first chapter of this massive can of worms. I hope that you are somewhat excited about this side series since I have to rely on my sleep deprived brain to create them. Anyway toodles, I'm going to bed.)