Megan was on a fucking mission. A Megan mission, a mission much akin to Ryan's missions, but very different in how it was executed.

Before leaving the house she got on her knees for Michael, in front of her poster of him and prayed to him that all would go well in her mission/quest/whateverthefuckhonestlywhothefuckknows.

Megan's main goal in life was to get on her knees for real Michael, because she was very devout in her worship of her Micahel Clifford religion... that being the religion of his dick because Megan have no fucks.

She was armed in her quest with her trusty chainsaw, which they had received odd looks when buying, mainly because Ryan was doing the worst impression of Mr Urie known to man and Megan couldn't walk straight because she was dizzy from when she'd passed out in the generic D.I.Y. store after catching a rare sighting of Frank and Gerard, talking about their shared house together.

Megan was crippling under the weight of the realisation that her otp might well be canon. Megan was suffering, and in her quest, she sought to put an ease to her suffering, by doing the only logical thing and ambushing Mr Way and interrogating him furiously about it.

She had to catch Mr Way on his own, without Frank, which was probably the least possible thing in the entire world because the two fucking lived together, they spent all their time together and Megan did not need this shit. She'd asked some girl called Enoby to distract Frank in his classroom before break so she could run down to art and get Mr Way alone, because she'd decided after several spreadsheets and flowcharts that Frank valued no homo slightly more than Gerard did.

She didn't even really know Enoby, but she looked gothic as fuck and she'd stolen Ryan's Evanescence CD from his room the other door so she could bring it up and laugh at him for it when the opportunity arose, instead she gave the CD to Enoby as long as she kept Frank distracted; she didn't know if Frank taught her, but whatever she'd looked very happy to see that Evanescence CD, so with the help of some random scene kid from the year below, Megan made her way down to art - very fast, because she had to go fast, because she didn't put going out and looking for Frank past Mr Way at all.

They lived together.

Jesus Christ, they lived together.

Megan continued to suffer as she made her way into art and looked into Miss Ballato's classroom first: relieved to see that no one was in there so Miss Ballato couldn't come and rescue Mr Way or something, because Megan was tired of this shit, and she needed the frerard truth.

She opened Mr Way's classroom door and wished she could have locked it, before making her way further into the room and catching Mr Way tidying away some random paint or shit, who looked a little startled to see Megan, but not startled to hear someone walk in... as if he'd been expecting someone... someone called Frank Anthony Iero, perhaps?

Megan knew this was getting real fucking suspicious, and that she needed to get the truth right now, she just hoped that the Evanescence CD had meant a lot to Enoby; she was wearing black lipstick so it probably did.

"Hey... Megan..." Gerard trailed off, eyeing the mischievous glint in Megan's eye with caution, but stood there with the naivety of man who was unaware that he was about to get interrogated by his number one stan.

"Hey, Mr Way?" She threw him a grin, "is your house okay now?"

"What?" Gerard looked over with confusion, because honestly, Megan was strange enough as it was.

"Oh, well you know, you and Frank were at the D.I.Y. store to fix something about your house. Yours and Frank's house... you know... the words... 'our house'... were used-"

"Megan are you stalking me?" Gerard exclaimed: horrified, unsure how the fuck to react, because he was freaking the fuck out but also ready to burst into a fit of laughter.

"No, I've tried to stalk to Frank but it didn't work, anyway, me and Ryan were actually just at the D.I.Y. store." She told him far too fucking casually.

"I find that hard to believe. What could you possibly want at a D.I.Y. store... with Ryan Ross?" Gerard wondered whether he should regret asking that.

"Oh, we were buying a chainsaw." Megan continued, casually, and Gerard barely even believed her, but it was Megan and Ryan. "Honestly, Mr Way, because Mr Urie got Ryan to confiscate my knife so he'd suck his dick and so Ryan offered to buy me a chainsaw to compensate, also we bought some slug repellent to throw at Muddy."

Mr Way tried not to laugh, because the mental image of Megan throwing slug repellent at Muddy definitely improved his life greatly, but he was a very serious teacher, so he found his chill and wondered whether he should be concerned that Megan owned a chainsaw. "Wait, how did you buy a chainsaw if you're both underage-"

"Oh, Ryan stole Mr Urie's I.D." Megan continued, smiling.

"What? When he was sucking his dick or-"

"Oh my god, Mr Way, that's personal business you can't intrude into their life like that - it's not fair. It's their relationship." Megan exclaimed: truly horrified.

Gerard's eyes only widened in disbelief, "I think maybe you should apply what you just said to me and Frank."

"Ohmygod!" Megan practically screamed.

"Yeah, you should. See is it making sense now? Personal business-"

"So you and Frank are in a relationship-"

"What?" Gerard's eyes widened, "I never said that, I- oh god, I didn't mean that."

"It's okay, Mr Way, I've known all along, I'll keep it secret." Somehow, Gerard doubted that.

"Megan, honestly we're not dating." Gerard let out a sigh, "we live together, but we're not dating."

Megan looked up at her art teacher, "why does he not live with his boyfriend anymore?"

"I think you can figure that out. It's personal stuff, though, okay, look, Megan, please don't go spreading this, look you can make up whatever rumour you want about me, just leave Frank alone."

And that made Megan's life, because ohmygod, this was gay. "Okay." She smiled, "you care about him. A lot. More than a friend, don't you?"

Gerard narrowed his eyes, "Megan."

"Look, don't worry, you're going to get together soon I promise you." She grinned, "he likes you too. Everyone knows that."

And Gerard couldn't deny the slight buzzing of excitement throughout his entire body.

-

Frank was just a little confused as to what the ever-loving fuck was going on after he'd been ambushed by some emo girl that he'd never even seen before, let alone taught, who then insisted that she had a serious problem and Frank was the only one who'd understand, but never quite got onto detailing what that problem was and instead just wasted the entirety of break time half crying in front of Frank, before walking out like everything was fine the very second the bell rang.

All in all, it was quite an odd experience, but Frank didn't think much of it, as overall Frank found himself glad that she'd gone because he'd started to worry that she'd actually wanted him to do something about her problems, which would be a problem for Frank as he was easily the least adept person when it came to dealing with other people's problems.

Frank could hardly deal with his own problems, let alone the problems of weeping emo teenagers who he'd never seen before.

Thankfully, however, break time ended, and although it had been wasted, he found himself freed of the girl and ready to sit back down in his classroom and pretend to give one solitary fuck about the curriculum and whatever he was supposed to be teaching these kids.

He leaned back in his chair and felt a sigh of relief as he saw Megan Clifford walk in, because this class was easy: this class was characterised by Megan Clifford, and together all in all, the thirty students gave about a seventh of a fuck, which was exactly what Frank needed right now, or perhaps solely what Frank could cope with.

He pulled one knee up to his chest and wondered how long he could just sit there before actually saying anything or starting the lesson - it was sort of like a fun experiment - a fun experiment that was anything but on the curriculum, but neither was locking yourself in your office and playing neopets for a week, and Mr Urie had done that once.

Frank did indeed wonder how Mr Urie continued to retain his job; it was most definitely some sort of magic because Frank had never seen someone less qualified for the job they had, well, maybe apart from himself.

On that note, with fifteen minutes wasted, Frank considered starting the lesson. "Guys?" He asked, breaking their conversations into a vague kind of silence. "What do you want to do this lesson?"

There was a kind of shrug from the class, until one kid shouted, "absolutely fucking nothing."

Frank laughed a little, before getting up and making his way over to the whiteboard, "right okay guys, pay attention because I'm going to draw a graph of all the fucks I give - this is important okay!" He insisted, grabbing a marker pen and drawing the axis of the graph, labelling the vertical one with the number ten at the top and then a zero at the bottom. "Right, are we ready?" He asked, before drawing the bar to signify his fucks to give. The class gave a vague sort of perhaps maybe interested response, leaving Frank to draw his bar going down further than the graph, and adding a new label on a now extended vertical axis that read: "minus ten. You owe me fucks. Well, maybe not you, someone owes me fucks."

It was Megan's time to shine, "you think maybe Mr Way owes you a fuck or two?" She asked in the world's most faked innocent tone of voice. The class exploded in laughter and agreement.

Frank groaned, leaning back against the wall and giving up on life completely, "I think maybe Megan owes me to shut the fuck up about whatever she thinks is going on between me and my friend for once in her life."

"Frank," Megan let out a sigh looking up at her English teacher with only care and concern, "I'm doing it for the greater good. Everyone knows that deep down you want to date Mr Way, but you just won't admit it, and you'd be good together, and it'd be really cute, and anyway you-" Megan was going to casually slip in the detail about how they lived together, but stopped herself: catching a red flush upon her cheeks, because she'd made an odd sort of promise to Mr Way, hadn't she?

Frank raised his eyebrows: finding a certain confusion in the sudden silence that hung over the room, "I what?" He asked: a faint hint of a smile tracing over his lips.

"It's... doesn't matter." Megan concluded, shaking her head a little, before smiling up at him.

Frank found himself caught by surprise: not entirely sure what to make of Megan and her stopping herself, because he hadn't fathomed that there was a too far for Megan, and that left him wondering as to what indeed could possibly constitute as 'too far'.

"Okay then..." Frank let out a sigh, sitting back down, "uhh.. this lesson, I honestly have no idea, someone genuinely suggest what to do?"

"Why didn't you have time to plan a lesson?" Some kid asked, deciding then and there that they were just going to discuss Frank's social life (or the inherent lack of it) instead of actually doing anything that could possibly be masqueraded under the banner of productivity.

"Well, there was a hole in my kitchen wall and that required fixing," Frank began, leaving Megan to suppress her teachers of domestic D.I.Y. joy as not to let on that she knew more than Frank could possibly know. "And you know, not having my house fall to pieces was maybe just that little bit more important than planning your English lesson."

"Oh come on, you wouldn't have planned it away," some fucking kid added from the back, which was totally unnecessary in Frank's opinion, yet totally true, but whatever, did that matter? No?

"Well..." Frank trailed off, shrugging a little, "that's debatable."

"Okay." Megan added, rolling her eyes. "We never do anything, we're all gonna fail our exams, but it's okay because eventually you and Gerard will accept your love for one another and have a happy life together."

Not everyone agreed with Megan there - mostly about the exam part, because well everyone knew that Frerard was gay as fuck, like come on, seriously.

"Megan." Frank raised his voice, narrowing his eyes as he looked Megan down with disbelief; he could ignore that there was just something. Something there that he found himself missing. "Please just leave it okay? Leave my personal life out of public discussion in my lesson maybe?"

"Mr Way lets us discuss you all the time." Another kid who was in Megan's art class added from the back.

There was no way around the fact that Frank went bright red.

"Yeah," Megan continued, "he likes talking about you too. He's chill with it, he accepts that we ship it and that he can't do anything about that, and you're just like a massive spoil sport no homo mess, come on, Frank, be chill with it!"

Frank groaned, sitting back down in his chair and considering just fucking putting his earphones in and like fucking ignoring everyone. However, he couldn't find his earphones he decided he'd have to make a sacrifice.

"Megan, if you shut the fuck up for the rest of the lesson I will do something for you right now out of the kindness of my heart." Frank opened spotify, and wondered just how much he might regret what he was about to do.

Megan looked up at him oddly, "hmm... okay?" She offered, making sure that this wasn't reminiscent of any form of valid promise.

Frank let out a regretful sigh and began to type '5 Seconds Of Summer' into spotify and cringed entirely because he was going to have to subject himself, and twenty nine other unwilling students to this, just in order to get Megan to shut up, or just get on her good side, because honestly Frank couldn't shake the feeling that she knew more than she was letting on and indeed more than she should.

"Megan what's your favourite song?" Frank asked without looking up from his laptop.

"Every 5SOS song ever, but I really like Good Girls right now because Michael says 'daddy' in it and it's the most beautiful moment of my entire life, it's like he is becoming self aware that he is daddy as fuck, and I honestly cannot deal with that at all ever, you know what I mean-"

And suddenly Frank would rather listen to the song than Megan talk, and somehow, thankfully within about six seconds of it playing she fainted off her chair and that was a good enough distraction to ensure that they didn't do shit for the rest of the lesson.

-

I'm tired bye this fics over 100k words now fuck my actual life