The Scarlet Hunter
by
@Tris_fire

Title 9/10

The title is great! It's mysterious and exciting. It links with the cover and the story itself. I love it!

Cover 5/5

I am literally obsessed with your cover! The colors are bright and exciting and the images look so professional. It instantly had my attention and it's one of the best that I've seen in a while!

Blurb 3/5

The blurb is catchy and effective! I do think maybe the excerpt in the beginning is a bit unnecessary. It makes it a little long and your description already says it all.

Plot 18/20

The plot is very original and exciting so far! I love the way that you've incorporated all of the mythology. It shows that your well informed.

I particularly like how you link Fiona's fights with the memory of her father. It makes everything more personal by giving insight into the character's history.

Just be careful with regards to the mythology, sometimes it seems like your simply stating facts and it becomes a bit long. This is particularly evident in chapter 11. Work on incorporating the information as findings within the story's and integrating the discoveries into the action.

Characters 18/20

Fiona

She's very strong which makes her very compelling. In saying that, she still has quality about her that come off as normal and relatable which forms an instant connection with the reader. She's opinionated and strong-willed (it's hard not to like her).

Lucas

Lucas is very mysterious and he becomes rather compelling. Obviously he has just been introduced and is not fully developed yet but so far; I like him a lot ;)

Ryan

Ryan's character works very well. There's an element of attraction within a lifelong friendship. It's an interesting dynamic.

Overall

You are just beginning to explore some of the other characters and Fiona is the most developed so far. I can tell that your characters have a lot of individuality and potential. I'm excited to see how you develop the others.

Grammar and Spelling 15/20

There are places where the grammar gets a bit distracting. What I found quite irritating is that sometimes your "I's" aren't in capitol. The writing is so professional and you don't want something so simple to detract from that.

Writing Style 4/5

The writing style is very effective in this story. The dialogue matches the magic of the land and the descriptions are thorough and well expressed.

Like I said, you need to work on finding a balance between action and facts. I also think you need to work on developing the world itself. Sometimes it lacks the descriptions in this area and the location of the story is very important with regards to immersing the reader in the plot and characters.

Originality 4/5

Your story is very well thought through and individual. You done a good job at creating an exciting world with very intriguing creatures!

Overall Intrigue 7/10

The story is very compelling. The mythology and magical world is very inviting and your main character is sassy and irresistible.

Keep up the good work!