"Room94"
By
cumformehemmo

Cover- 4/5

I love the cover! It's simple but effective! It's mysterious nature also works very well with the mood and context of the story so it becomes very suitable for the book itself!

Title-8/10

I know you said in one of the chapters that you weren't sure about the title but I really like it. I was so curious about the story before I started reading and that is because of the catchy title itself.

I do think you need to link the room more to the actual storyline though. I know it is involved but it's relevance wasn't completely clear and it can be played with more.

Blurb-3/5

The questions are very affective in the blurb for creating intrigue but I do think it's a little short... Maybe just elaborate a bit.

Plot- 16/20

The book has the similar mood to Fallen by Lauren Kate. I love the way that you've started the plot off. The mystery leaves one wondering who is supernatural. What creature are they? Where do they come from? And this goes on for several chapters, captivating the reader! I do however think that certain parts can be a little more fleshed out. Sometimes the pace feels a bit rushed.

I do think towards the end the plot needs more development to make the story fully unfold effectively. Moments within the plot just need to be refined. There are several aspects that aren't clear, especially in the climax and this is such an important part of the book.

Characters- 17/20

Gabrielle

Gabrielle's characters is very sassy which is great because she doesn't fit the conventional "damsel in distress" character.

What I do think is missing with Gabrielle is her background. It feels as if there is so much about her that isn't explored and it makes her character lack a certain sense of depth.

Brandon

Brandon is the guy everyone loves to hate. You've developed his character vet well. He's got dimension and he's believable. Good job!

Jace

I like the love triangle that's going on between the three characters. It's obvious that Jace is trying to annoy Brandon and it proves to be very interesting. You can even play it out and embellish on it. I would love to see more of that dynamic!

Overall

The main characters have a very individual quality to them and they all work together in contrast to each other. It's very successful.

However, I think some of the side characters in the book are a little unnecessary. There were so many and sometimes it causes a little confusion as to who is who.

Grammar and Spelling- 15/20

The editing does need a little work. It becomes a little distracting at times but it can also be fixed easily. Its nothing to stress about. I read somewhere that English is your third language? Well done! Your writing is so natural and I never would have guessed!

Writing Style- 4/5

The writing is simple and to the point, which works perfectly to the story itself. I do think towards the end it does seem like rushing a little bit. You need to work out fleshing out the end and refining the plot itself so that there is a form of true resolution.

I also think you can add a lot more descriptions to the environment, especially in the beginning and this will also make the book feel a lot more detailed and personal.

Originality-3/5

There are a few cliches within the story but overall it does have a very original atmosphere. Especially within the main characters. I think you've created a very interesting dynamic and the book has a lot of potential!

Overall Intrigue- 8/10

I read the book to the end and I have to say, I was very motivated to find out what happened next! Your cliff-hangers at the end of each chapter are very effective and the style of the writing only leaves you wanting more!

Well done!