Hearts Combine or Break
By
FlameFeatherwrites

Title-7/10

The title is interesting! I didn't understand it at first, but it grows on you as you become attached to the story.

Cover-3/5

I  like that you've placed the characters on the cover but it is missing essential elements that are needed to lure the reader in.

Blurb-4/5

The content of the blurb is perfect but maybe look at the syntax to make some of the sentences flow a little more naturally.

Plot-16/20

The story is a lot more complex than I initially thought. It's a little deceiving actually. It starts off with the adorable romance between Pat and Jen and then it develops into a plot filled with action. It's rather addictive.

I did notice, especially in the beginning, that there are some parts that seem a little rushed, and therefore become unconvincing. I know the nature of the story does allow for the unbelievable circumstance but sometimes things seem to happen for convenience. In these instances, motivations of characters don't appear to be properly thought out and developed.

I also think that you should introduce the antagonist a little earlier in the story so that the reader isn't tricked into thinking that it's simply a romance. I love the villain. I'm curious to know how you came across the concept of Necrosis? The allegory that you've created is simply amazing!

.Characters-15/20

Jen and Pat

Wow! What an adorable couple! I love the dynamic that forms between the two of them. As you say, it starts off 'cringey cute' and then develops into an epic romance.

There is, however, a certain vagueness with regards to each character's identity. This applies to both character development and physical appearance. There is barely any description pertaining to most of the characters. It seems like you're relying on the pictures to escape this, but it is still necessary to include.

Overall

For the first 20 chapters it feels as if the dialogue is only between Pat and Jen. Other characters are mentioned, but not included enough to develop properly throughout the book. I would love to get to know them more!

Grammar and Spelling-14/20

The grammar is a little bit of an issue.
There are moments when you confuse 'you', 'your' and 'you're',
Other major issues-
'maybe' not 'mabey'
'caught' not 'cought'
'Guard' not 'gaurd'
Things like this make the world of difference. It does, however, seem to be a result of rushed typing and this can easily be fixed.
Also, I think the excessive use of question marks and capital letters loses it's affect.

Writing Style-7/10

I love how you've made the bold move of writing in present tense. This is considerably hard and it's refreshing to see! The writing is short and sweet and it works well with the content of the story! You have a wonderful gift of leaving the reader waiting in anticipation for what's going to happen next!

Sometimes I noticed an overuse of "I" and it becomes a bit repetitive. I also have the tendency to do this when writing so I understand the struggle. Luckily it's easy to fix! Just look at starting some sentences differently to avoid the repetition.

Originality-3/5

This book is an adorable, action-pact story centered around a young romance! The plot involves the age-old concept of good versus evil in it's own unique way. Also, I have to say, I love the pictures and graphics that you've included!

Overall Intrigue-3,5/5

Usually these types of books aren't what I go for but I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
Well done!