...Guess who's back. Back again.. Author-Nim's back. Tell- shit, wait. Don't tell anyone I'm back, I was supposed to leave this story about two chapters ago, but since it was such a successful story (Thanks to you ♥), I decided to make an extra chapter. I'm a Jin biased Libra, so you know how extra my ass is lol. Anyways, let's get this party started! ... Or disASSter. You'll understand that pun later on, and the use of this emoji 🌚.

✖WARNING: SUPER LONG CHAPTER✖
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Seokjin and Namjoon had finally quit their jobs at the strip club, porn movies, and sex tapes, just to become singers.

To their surprise, their parents weren't disappointed. In fact, they were so proud of their sons that they decided to invite them out on a date to ask them questions of their new jobs.

As they all arrive at the fancy restaurant, they take a seat underneath a beautiful and bright chandelier. Namjoon was hesitant about answering their questions, but he eventually gave in.

"SO, how's life been so far with your new career as a rapper. Son?" His father asks.

"It's been good. It's helped me with a lot of things, such as: Expressing my inner emotions, coping with all the problems I've had in life, feeling more loved, getting hyped, and-"

"Seokjin, how does it feel like to sing on stage with a crowd of a thousand people?" Namjoon's father giggled, interrupting the younger from finishing his speech.

"Mr. Kim, with all do respect, but if you don't let my man finish his speech, I will shove this Olive Garden breadstick up your ass so deep, a vampire could smell it from a mile away and fucking dry up like a dead leaf. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Namjoon's heart fluttered with Jin's kind, yet... Explicit words. He's never felt more proud to have such a confident boyfriend.

"Thanks, honey. As I was saying-"

"Are we ready to order here?" Namjoon swallowed his words once again as the waitress walked up to them. Jin sighed loud enough for her to get the message that he was annoyed and proceeded to order a whole buffet of stake and chicken for himself.

"I would like the Tour of Italy, please." Seokjin's mother ordered for her husband and herself.

"WE GOING FROM TOKYO. ITALY. HONG KONG TO BRA-" Namjoon stood up so fast, he knocked his head on the chandelier.

"... You better finish that sentence or I'll think you're straight." Jin replied, crossing his arms with an offended facial expression.

"ZIL." Namjoon whined, rubbing his head.

"Good boy." The older praised while crunching up Namjoon's hair in a playful way.

.⭐**food arrives**⭐.

Just as they were eating, Jin felt a warm hand slither around his inner thigh.

"Oops! Looks like this tour wants to show me around Italia!" Jin jokes as he 'purposely' drops his fork on the floor.

As he was just about to start giving Namjoon a blowjob, he found a tiny blinking red light
In his father's hand, underneath his lap.

"Those cheaters, they wanted to record us again!" Jin gasped.

"Hmm..." An evil idea suddenly popped up in his head.

"Namjoon, I need you to accompany me to the bathroom." His voice was loud and clear for everyone, especially their parents, to hear.

The younger boy turned red and tensed up.

"Damn, he's more confident than I thought." Namjoon noticed Jin kept on tilting his eyelids at the floor. Once he got the message, he found a way to look under the table without the grown ups finding out.

"You have to be fucking kidding me right now." He mentally facepalmed himself and followed the older to the restroom, not caring that everyone was staring at their intertwined hands.

"We need to get the hell out of here!" Jin whisper-screamed.

The younger boy nodded.

"I should have expected this from him. They have such an obsession with cameras. They aren't even our parents anymore, they're like a fucking paparazzi!"

"Tell me about it," Jin replied. "but something tells me that this is going to be the video they'll ever get to film." Namjoon's eyes widened.

"Baby, I know you're pissed. I'm mad too... But don't do anything idiotic and get your dumbass in jail. Alright?"

"I'm not a murderer, Joonie!" Jin defended himself, getting even more pissed.

"Aww, my baby boy's having a tantrum in his little fancy suit. Why are you so cute today?" Namjoon teased making the other turn red.

"Namjoon, stop it. I'm being honest over here."

"Namjoon, stop it. I'm being honest over here." He began mocking Jin's voice just to tick him off even more.

"STOP IT!"

"STOP IT!" Jin jumped around and started punching the air.

"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!" But no matter how hard he tried,

"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!" Namjoon would always mock him back.

So he thought of the saying the one thing Namjoon would never say.

He inhaled and started mocking Namjoon's deep and sexy voice.

"Hi everybody, this is Rap Monster from BTS." Namjoon gave up and let out an annoyed screech.

"HA! SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP!" Jin started laughing.

"You're damn right I will."

"What?... Wait, not here! Agh ... Mmm..."

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✴Friendly Reminder:✴
✖🔞(This is the part where you hide your phones, computers, or whatever your reading this on and run the hell away if you're 12. But for the freaky ones out there, you know who you are 🌚, enjoy.)🔞✖
✴I'm not responsible for any trauma, heart attacks, or further injuries caused by this chapter✴
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Namjoon connected his creamy smooth lips onto Jin's plump cherry ones and started swirling his tongue around his entrance, waiting for Jin to open his mouth wider.

Jin parted his lips, allowing the younger to slip his slippery tongue inside. They got inside the biggest stall and continued kissing, roughly, yet smoothly.

The restroom suddenly got filled up with a group of teenage boys along with a father and his sons. Jin refused to release Namjoon's warm body. His scent was driving his crazy.

"You smell so good, daddy." He whispered underneath his breath.

Namjoon's hands struggled to pry off the older who was clinging onto him, desperate for his warm touch. But he managed to untangle Jin's arms from his back.

"Baby, we have to go." Namjoon whispered, stepping away from Jin to give him space.

He nodded in agreement, but the younger could notice the disappointment in his face as he started to get dressed again.

"I know you're upset. But I know something that 'might' cheer you up, just a little bit." He smirked. Jin furrowed his eyebrows at him.

Namjoon pulled out a set of keys and winked as Jin gasped.

"Lets go." He nudged his head towards the door and waited for everyone to leave. The boys walked out as if nothing happened and tried avoiding their parents as they made a run for the exit.

"BOYS, WE'RE OVER HERE!" Jin's mother shouts, waving her arms back and forth.

Namjoon lifted his head in agreement and shouted back, "And we're over here! Have a wonderful dinner, Mrs. Kim. Goodbye!" He grabbed Jin's hand and they couldn't contain their laughter while running towards the parking lot to find the car.

"But what if they find us when we get home? They know where both of us live." Jin asked.

"And who says we're going home, huh?"

~~~

They rushed through the highway and boosted up the radio.

The road caused Jin dizziness from how fast the younger was driving.

The boys were having such a fun time singing loudly, they didn't even realize their phones were blowing up with messages from their parents.

"This is your pilot speaking; In a few minutes we will be arriving to our destination. For now, keep your seat belt around your waists, and your dick in your pants. Enjoy the rest of the ride." Namjoon announced with a smirk causing the older boy to giggle.

"No promise, pilot. With the tightness of my jeans and my ass, it's hard to tell what's tighter."

"I'll be the judge of that later on." Namjoon thought as he readjusted himself in the carseat, feeling his erection growing in his jeans as well.

Jin tried staying still, but it was impossible. Both boys were becoming more and more impatient as their destination got closer... Until traffic slowed their ride down.

"Dammit." Namjoon cursed, banging his palms roughly against the steering wheel.

Jin suddenly thought of a dad joke to make the most out of this terrible situation.

"Could you call this a... DisASSter?" He started clapping with his contagious laughter and Namjoon gave in, laughing along with the boy.

He turned the radio up once their was a good song playing and, to their surprise, the traffic started moving faster than before.

"Wow, they must have really liked the song. Or hated it so much, they all ran away." The younger felt that it was his turn to make him laugh, so he thought of something to say.

"Nah, it's probably because I GOT JAMS AND THEY DON'T!" Suddenly, they saw a short middle finger next to their car, flipping them off. They rolled down their window and saw Yoongi and Jimin next to them.

"FUCK YOU TWO! AT LEAST WE FINALLY MOVED OUT SO WE COULD BLOW OUR ASSES UP WHENEVER WE WANT AND NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE SEEING, SO HA!" Jimin laughed.

"Listen here, Mochi who's afraid of a poochi! You better respect your elders or so help me, I'll climb inside your car and rip the AGUST D ballsacks off both of you!" Jin shouted, reaching outside of the car window.

"Easy there you canniBALL, the only sack you're allowed to handle is mine. So get your head back in here, we're almost home anyways. Plus those shorties already left."

"Fine. Where are we going anyways??" Jin asked with curiosity.

"I'll give you a hint: It's somewhere you've never been before. So shut up and close your eyes until we get there."

~~~~

"Hey, wake up sleeping handsome. We're here." Namjoon taps on the older boy's shoulder who jumps up immediately.

"WOAH!... Where the fuck are we, again?"

"It's my friend's house. His name is Jungkook. He owns this huge ass mansion yet never uses it because he moved in with his boyfriend Kim Taehyung. You might have met them while we were working in that place. Remember?" Jin nodded as Namjoon entered a code to open the doors to the house.

Their jaw dropped once they step in.

"Damnnnn, this is fancy." Namjoon whistles.

"YEAH! Woah!! It's so beautiful here!" The younger giggled, finding Jin's reactions so adorable. He wrapped his arms around his lower back and tilted his head up.

"Ready for your next destination?"

"Take me there, captain." Namjoon made a weird noise and left the older with a confused facial expression.

"That's PILOT to you!"

"Sorry!... Not sorry, haha! Y-you do realize I was joking around, right? NAMJOON, hahaha! Wait!" Jin tilted his head back laughing and moaning as Namjoon sank his teeth into his neck.

The younger snakes his arms around Jin's waist even more and holds him tighter. Jin wraps his legs around Namjoon's waist while the younger grips onto his bottom.

(literally, a bottom lol. Sorry not sorry.)

As they were about to enter the room, Namjoon breaks the doorknob in attempt at opening it faster.

"The God of destruction strikes again, ladies and gentlemen!"

"And he's ready to destruct your ass just like this doorknob." Jin shifted his eyebrows.

"Is that so? Then show me."

"I'll show you." Namjoon smirked, undressing himself again. When he removed Jin's boxers, his erection sprung up.

"Living up to your name "Kim Soaked Jin", I can see." Jin moaned in reply to Namjoon's smooth, deep voice as he tangled his face into the crook of his neck just to remove his shirt to inhale his cologne again.

He was going crazy. Namjoon hovered over him and he was hypnotized by his glowing skin and shiny eyes.

Their heartbeats were racing so fast, they could physically hear it.

Namjoon got up and went through Jungkook's nightstand to look for lube, but found more than just lube.

"Damn, those two are freakier than us. I mean, what the actual fuck is THIS?" Jin started wheezing loudly once Namjoon pulled out an oddly shaped vibrator.

"This isn't a vibrator, it's a fucking weapon! If someone pointed this at me, I would faint." The older boy was in pain from his bulging erection, but his stomach ached even more from laughing so hard.

"F-Fuck off! This shit hurts!! Just g-g-get over here!!" The younger hopped back on the bed as Jin was on the verge of tears, holding his stomach due to his own laughter.

"But seriously though, is this a vibrator or a bazooka? Because either way, I'm defaulting your ass with it."

"STO- oh shit... My ass?" The older questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Nooooo," the younger said with a sarcastic voice "this is going up my other man's ass. I'm just hovering over you until he gets here." Jin playfully pushed him, smiling fondly.

"JEON. JUNGKOOK. USED THAT. There is no way in hell that I'm putting that piece of plastic silicone rubber up my ass." The younger started laughing.

"Alright, fine. I was joking anyways. Now, get on all fours."

"Okay, wait a second." Jin took out his phone and started typing.

"How many 'fours' do you want, Mr. Sexy Brain?" He asked while pressing the number 4 repeatedly on his calculator.

"Why do I love your extra ass so much?"

"Because I'm worldwide handsome." Jin winked.

"Your ass is about to be 'worldwide stretched' in a few minutes. ALEXA! Play music on IHeartRadio!"

"Who is this 'Alexa' bitch? I only know Rebecca. RRRREBECCA, play-" The older boy was interrupted once rock music blasted out through Siri.

"Who the fuck invited you, Siri? No one likes you anymore! Screw it, I'll look something up on Pandora." The two boys finally agreed on 'Desire' and continued kissing.

I wanna feel you.

Jin ran his hands through Namjoon's hair while the younger switched the position they were in.

I want it all.

The older tensed up once he felt Namjoon entering him smoothly.

He was confused in between feeling pain or feeling pleasure, so he just put his head on Namjoon's neck to get distracted.

"My baby's giving me a little love bite- ow! Haha, easy there." Namjoon tilted his head back while the older boy caused him to moan from how hard he was biting him.

He decided to return the favor and started thrusting in and out slowly, no longer causing the older boy discomfort.

"Aha, ha... You win this round." Jin laughed, breathlessly.

Things went better than expected: In no time, the two were under the covers, panting heavily with sweat beads forming around their foreheads.

Namjoon smirked every now and then every time the older said a curse word. He had his wrists pinned above his head, so he could feast on his neck whenever he wanted, and whisper into his ear which gave the older chills throughout his entire body.

Jin tilted his neck all the way back and parted his lips to let his sins escape his mouth.

His moaning remained silent to Namjoon since he couldn't hear anything due to the bed rocking so loudly. Jin took this opportunity to make as much noise as he wanted, especially with the music playing in the background.

The night was going perfect. The night they always wanted to have to themselves alone was finally here and they were happier than ever.

"Fuck... Again! Again!" Jin jumped up and down.

As they reach their climax, Namjoon gripped the older boy's hair, causing him to grind his teeth and bite his lip.

"Namjoon!"

"Shit!" The younger swears, letting go of Jin's hair and pulling out of him.

They both lay down panting heavily, gasping for air.

"Best night ever!... Until we have to go back home, at least." Jin sighed, placing his arm on top of Namjoon's chest.

"And who says we're going back? We could just stay here."

"WHAT? No, you're crazy!" The older laughs.

"I'm not crazy, I'm Namjoon and I'm being serious." The younger smiles. Jin repositioned himself and sat up.

"But, what about Jungkook?"

"Let me think... Hmm, what was the first thing I would you about this house?"

"That it was abandoned because Kookie decided to go live with Taehyung." Then everything made sense.

"Joonie... You're not thinking about moving here, are you?" Namjoon's evil smirk and wink made Jin jump from the bed.

"YOU mean, we're-"

"Welcome home, baby." The younger stopped smiling once Jin knocked the wind out of his stomach from how hard he jumped on him.

"OH MY GOD, BEST DAY EVER!"

"So I'm guessing that means you can't say no to round two, right?" The younger joked.

"Hell no I won't, let's go!"

"Really?" Namjoon's eyes widened as the older hovered over him.

"This time I'm topping."

"... I'm moving out." They laugh and tangle each other in the bedsheets.

"Hey, Namjoon?"

Namjoon hummed in response to his name.

"What do you call a rapper who got kicked in the butt?" Jin asked, looking up at the man.

"I don't know. What?"

...

"A DISS-ASS-ter!" The younger facepalmed himself while the older boy laughed.

"Ready to get your ass DISS-tructed, then? Because I'm still waiting for round two." Jin stopped laughing and looked at Namjoon with a serious expression on his face.

"YOU! YAHHH, YOU! Do you know how much my butt hurts right now? A cantaloupe could fit in it from how stretched out I am, all because of your Ding Dong, bing bong, ping pong, guy named wong, DICK!" The older boy raged.

"So, is that a yes or a no?" Namjoon questioned.

"Fuck it. Let's do it again."

"That's my boy."

~the end~

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Ayo ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading this fanfiction, yeahhh. Hope you all enjoyed and to all of those minors out there, I warned you. This was 18+ 😴 lol.
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To all of those reading who actually enjoyed this, thank you all so much! Comment this emoji if you enjoyed it ➡🌚⬅ and comment this emoji if you were weirded out ➡⭕^⭕⬅
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Yes, my extra ass IS taking time to make this emoji art. No, I don't regret anything. It's not 12:00 AM yet which is when I usually regret writing these fics lol. All I have to say is: I'm ashamed I laughed writing my own fanfic, because I did.
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For all of those reading this on a computer, I'm sorry that this art looks like a dog was throwing up on my keyboard, since this only works for right side up phones and tablets. I have a headache. Goodbye! I purple you all 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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*edit*
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Did anyone miss me? Haha, I make my own self laugh with my own jokes... Hold up.

Jin, laugh for me for a second.

*cleans screen with windex*

Okay, now I can see a bit clearer... O_o 

Do my eyes deceive me or did I actually manage to reach 1K?

Thank you all so much for showing this fiction so much love!

I'm currently working on one which is a bit darker yet it still has it's little comedy twist added to it, it's called 'How To Be A Badboy'.

It's a Namjin fic as well. It contains a lot of explicit content and a few plot twists here and there, but overall, it's pretty okay.

Anyways, thank you all once again. I love you all so much!

~Author Out~ ^_^

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