A real woman farts,

A real woman smiles meekly and courtesies,

A real woman doesn't have to be good at singing or art,

A real woman is soft, sweet and full of mercies,

A real woman is nurturing, loving and maternal,

But a true woman's love for sport, DIY and cars is eternal.

A real woman doesn't have to excel at housework or ballet

A true woman's purpose isn't just to worry, nag and bake souffles,

A real woman is spotty, wobbly and extremally hairy,

A true woman can be sassy, feisty and downright scary.

A real woman, collectively with the rest of her gender, can do anything,

A real woman, there's no such thing.