Music: CITY OF THE DEAD by Eurielle

It took me several minutes to calm down sufficiently and land on one of the smaller turrets. Breathing as if it were my last, I ruffled my feathers repeatedly; I must have looked as though I was undergoing a seizure. 

The toll of bells rang out across the city, startling myriad flocks of birds.  They took to the wing and in a disturbing ballet, wove a dark rippling ribbon across the sky; a somewhat bizarre prognosis of my funeral, mayhap.

I had to focus, regain my logical and practical way of thinking. 

So, at worst Sarah had not found the journal.  At best, (and this was being truly optimistic, if not ridiculously foolish), she had, but just not reached the part with the specific instruction for Illidan. Either way, the world thought me dead. Hardly encouraging, I mused.

I needed to know if the book still lay within my study.  If it did, I needed to devise a way to bring it to Sarah's attention. If, as I had considered before, she had been unable to enter our home because of her grief, this could be even trickier to achieve. 

Supposing that was the case she must be staying with friends. Erik, maybe? With Gwen there, it was a possibility, but still, I didn't think it would be Sarah's first choice. I doubted very much she would stay at either the Felhammer or Suramar with Illidan and Arcaena, both locations were too unfamiliar for her.  

My heart ached as I thought of our son; so young, so innocent. Sarah would need someone she felt close to, someone in whose company she was truly comfortable. And then I knew who she would go to - Lukha.

How would Sarah react, having gone through the grieving process, to then find out I was still alive? Would it cause her more pain? Distress? Or give her hope? 

Would she be angry because of all which happened before the Dark Portal's collapse and that I had not tried to contact her before now? 

The fact I had initially been disorientated, my avian instincts having dulled my human alter ego, would not be considered a tangible excuse to Sarah.

But, I was willing to risk her wrath, her recriminations, and even her reproach if I could just be given the chance to, somehow, make amends and prove how much I loved her.

So, how was I going to do this? I remembered Alarii and her book of sketches; perhaps I could attempt the same tactics? Then again, the journal was securely bound, not made up of loose pages like Alarii's sketchbook. No, that was not an option.

First, I needed to visit our home with hope of seeing Sarah there - I would figure out what to do after that - hopefully. 

I took to the wing and soared above the Keep. I made a few circuits before heading towards Cathedral Square, where our home lay. 

As I made my way, a woeful concoction of emotions and fears enveloped me – sadness, longing, cynicism, despair - all at war with the practical, logical and mostly optimistic self that was once me. 

I tried my best to rationalize the predicament, to be encouraged, confident but when I settled on that window sill and saw the book through the glass - exactly where I had left it - all hope abandoned me.